


Off Limits

by munchkinpandas



Category: Glee, klaine - Fandom
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst and Humor, Friendship, Klaine, M/M, Sexual Content, Sexual Frustration, Sexual Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, pinning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 11:49:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 110,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3208097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/munchkinpandas/pseuds/munchkinpandas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For once in Blaine Anderson’s life he was pretty happy with how his life was going.  He had an epic college experience with his best friend Jamie.  They partied way too much, studied way too little and slept with their fair share of the best ASU had to offer.  But one rejection letter later and Jamie was moving to San Diego to pursue his PHD while Blaine got accepted to the doctorate program at their Alma Mater.  ASU without Jamie didn’t make sense to Blaine and he was not happy about it.  To top everything off Jamie asked Blaine to look after his little brother Kurt who was starting his freshman year of college.  Kurt wasn’t the little kid he pictured when Jamie asked Blaine to let him move in and it was clear things were about to change even more than Blaine had expected.  In short, Blaine Anderson was screwed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We're back!! We couldn't stay away for long. Hopefully you take a chance on this new fic we are super excited about. A little more angsty than our other fics but well worth it (the ideas already in our heads are fantastic!) You will recognize most of the supporting characters and there is one new face, Jamie, Kurt's older brother. We love him already and in our heads he looks like Jeremy Allen White from Shamless. ****

Chapter 1

“And suddenly you know…It’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings”

Blaine dropped his car keys on the table and told Jamie he'd be right back with their coffees after a quick detour to the bathroom. He laughed when Jamie asked if he wanted company and felt an ache in his heart at the thought of not having his best friend of six years with him anymore. It was such a cruel thing. You get used to something or someone so easily and everything is just perfect when they're in your life, making you believe that you are safe because they'll always be there and you'll always have a happy place no matter how much shit you're dealing with in your life. But then some more shit happens and you see you won't have that happy place anymore and it just simply sucks.

Blaine met Jamie in his first year at ASU, both excited to finally be in college but pretending to keep their cool so they wouldn't be labelled as losers from the first day. They were in Introduction to Journalism class and it was Blaine who reached out and asked Jamie if it would help if they would picture the whole class in their under wear and the moment he saw Jamie was actually considering it, Blaine knew he found his best bro. They found their ways together, made the same mistakes, shared the same awful dorm first then a house, laughed at the same things and wanted the same things from life. Maybe that was where they went wrong. Just because they wanted the same things didn't mean they would both be granted them. Blaine ended up being the lucky one, got accepted into ASU's Journalism and Mass Communication PHD program and now had to say goodbye to his brother from another mother because he was going to, had to, to be more precise, make his dreams come true somewhere else.

Blaine hated change. He was perfectly happy with the way his life was beginning to take shape and he always thought he'd do everything with Jamie on his side. But now they were in a coffee shop in the airport, waiting for Jamie's little brother's and Blaine's soon-to-be new roommate's plane to land and Blaine had no idea what was awaiting him. Sure he loved Jamie maybe even more than he would have loved his own brother if he had one and he knew no one could ever replace him, especially not some annoying freshman who he had to tolerate because of Jamie.

He turned to their table with two iced Americanos in hand, ruffling Jamie's hair before he sat down. He followed Jamie's gaze and smirked when he saw the strawberry blonde biting her lip while looking at Jamie through her eyelashes.

"Stop with the bedroom eyes, asshole, you don't even have time for a bathroom quickie."

Jamie hit Blaine on the shoulder and tried to push him the other direction so he could focus his attention back on the hot blond behind him, but Blaine wasn't moving so he begrudgingly took the coffee and took a long drink.

"Asshole. There is always time for blondes."

He shrugged when Blaine rolled his eyes and looked back towards the gate where his brother should be landing shortly.

"But Kurt would be pissed if I was off seducing a girl when he got here, especially since I made him come a week early so I could see him before I left. So I will forgive you this time for being a cock block."

Blaine let out a deep sigh and kicked Jamie's foot under the table.

"I still can't believe you're going to leave me alone with a fucking teenager."

"Trust me dude, Kurt is more mature then both of us combined. He's been through a lot of shit, so play nice."

Jamie scoffed at Blaine's scowl and shook his head.

"Well... at the very least try not to kill him."

Blaine shrugged and looked away from Jamie's searching eyes, playing with the lid of his cup.

"Yeah I should if I don't want my ass get kicked."

He bit his lips into a smile when Jamie grabbed the cup from his hand to make him look at him.

"Seriously dude, don't worry. I babysat my cousin in high school, it couldn't be harder than that."

Jamie rolled his eyes, smirking slightly. Blaine had no idea what he was in for when it came to Kurt. Kurt wasn't the type of guy who wanted or needed a babysitter, what he needed was someone to have his back, even though he wouldn't admit it. Jamie kind of wished he was going to be around to witness Kurt and Blaine cohabiting together.

"I'm not worried. I trust you more than anyone, so as annoying as my little brother can be, I know you will have his back like you have mine."

Blaine held Jamie's gaze for a while, wanting to make sure he knew Blaine would do absolutely anything not to let Jamie down. Jamie didn't put it into words exactly but Blaine knew just how disappointed he was with himself for not being there for Kurt during his high school years, and now for leaving for San Diego when he was the reason Kurt applied to ASU in the first place.

Blaine reached out and grabbed Jamie's hand on the table, his lips turning upwards as he remembered the first time he did that and Jamie interlocked their fingers not forgetting to add a "no homo" afterwards.

"I just feel sorry for you because with me as his substitute big brother, he won't think that highly of you anymore."

Jamie checked his watch noting that Kurt's plane was probably landing soon and tried to hide his excitement to maintain his cool guy attitude. He felt guilty about not making it back to Chicago more often, holidays being his only exception. Kurt never made him feel bad about it but they were pretty much all each other had before Jamie left for school and while Jamie was having the time of his life with Blaine, Kurt was living his own personal hell most of the time. But he was also beyond excited for Kurt to start college, have the amazing experiences he had and if one person could show him the way, it would be Blaine.

Jamie nudged Blaine with his foot.

"Everyone knows I was the cool one out of this bromance. Anyways c'mon asshole, he's almost here, let's go over to the waiting area so he can find us."

Blaine threw their already drained coffee cups into the nearest trash bin and followed Jamie to the waiting area, leaning against the wall next to him when they came to the waiting area. He nudged Jamie's shoulder with his after shooting a quick text to Sebastian who wanted to learn when Jamie was leaving.

"I'm gonna miss you, man."

Jamie smiled a heartfelt smile at Blaine.

"I'll miss you too bro."

Jamie's attention was taken off Blaine as he searched the crowd of people that were exiting security, looking for Kurt. He spotted him lugging a backpack that looked way too heavy for his slender frame, and staring judgmentally at the lady in front of him walking way too slowly.

Jamie waved energetically to get Kurt's attention and nudged Blaine with his shoulder.

"There he is."

Blaine looked at the way Jamie was waving his hand enthusiastically and at first he mistook Kurt for the boy in bright red Adidas sweatpants but then another boy who just passed by the security line waved back their way and Blaine just got rooted to his spot with probably a dumbfounded look on his face. Jamie had mentioned his little brother so many times yet Blaine had never seen a picture of Kurt. Well, this Kurt. The only picture Jamie had of his family was a 15 year old, beach photo in which a ten year old Jamie standing between his parents with a cheeky grin on his face and carrying a toddler in his arms. Well, Blaine had never once thought that toddler would grow up and turn out to be someone like that. It was weird because the way they always mentioned Kurt as the little brother, Blaine always had imagined someone still sporting acne all over his face, trying to fit in his pre puberty clothes, with some greasy hair sticking to everywhere but he should have known better. Jamie was like an Abercrombie & Fitch model, nothing less, fresh out of high school and obviously good genes were running in the family. The way Kurt was carrying his tall and slender frame was very noticeable to say the least, his eyes were glasz, from that distance Blaine couldn't decide if they were blue, gray or green and his arms were looking very pale yet muscled underneath his Fuck You You Fucking Fuck t-shirt. Oh, he was a feisty one. Obviously all Hummels were.

Blaine watched Jamie walk up to Kurt and wrap him in a tight hug, Kurt's bag already forgotten on the floor. He could see the resemblance in both brothers now; big, blue, calculating eyes with chestnut colored wavy hair naturally tousled at the top. While Kurt was a little taller than Jamie, Jamie was a little broader yet gorgeous was the only word that could be used if Blaine were to describe them with one word.

The moment Kurt saw Jamie it was like tension he didn't realize he was holding was released. Jamie was home for Kurt, ever since their mom had died and their dad went off the deep end, he was the only stable thing in Kurt's life and it felt so good to finally be reunited with him, even if it was just a week. When Kurt found out that Jamie didn't get into ASU for his PHD program, he almost stayed behind and followed his boyfriend to the University of Chicago instead but he ultimately decided, with Jamie's instance, that he needed a change of scenery. And Kurt was actually excited to finally be able to take control and start a whole new chapter in his life.

Kurt looked over Jamie's shoulder and saw Jamie's best friend and Kurt's new roommate Blaine. At that moment he was glad he was a master in Facebook stalking so he was sort of prepared for Blaine's gorgeous curls and his cocky smile, but still, pictures couldn't do him justice. Kurt would have to make a conscious effort not to stare into those eyes, it actually may take that long to determine exactly what color they were.

After Jamie had sufficiently wrinkled his shirt he pulled back and pushed him away before he had a chance to mess up his hair and turned to Blaine.

"Well well, you must be the one who corrupted my Jamie. Blaine I take it?"

Blaine didn't realize Kurt's words were directed at him until a dismissive "Blaine" escaped his lips. Blaine raised an eyebrow and took a step closer to Kurt so Jamie's body wasn't hiding Blaine's anymore. For some reason, Blaine had expected Kurt to be shy yet there was nothing shy about the way Kurt was looking at him, shaking Blaine's hand like he was measuring him, his stance so laid back it was like meeting Blaine, his new roommate, was no big deal.

Blaine took a firm hold of Kurt's hand to shake and let go when their eyes met, his polite smile into a smirk at the challenge he saw in Kurt's eyes.

"Correct. And you must be the little brother I'm supposed to protect from the big, bad wolves out there. Pleasure."

Kurt crossed his arms at the way Blaine looked at him, like he was a small fragile child. Still, it was better how most older people looked at him when they found out his story; usually all he got we're looks of sympathy, but he didn't need their sympathy nor was he a child that needed protecting. Not anymore.

When Jamie was back home, the worst he would get was uninventive name calling. Jamie had a rep and no one wanted to mess with that. But once he left, it was a whole new world and suddenly the name calling turned to getting pushed into lockers or worse. But Kurt made it through, barely, without someone there. Kurt winced when his hand pressed against the two day old bruise on his side, a goodbye kick from his worst tormentor Karofsky. He was just glad it wasn't his face. Kurt looked at Blaine sternly, but slightly avoiding his eyes because come on, there were flecks of gold in them too.

"I don't need protecting, I just need a roommate. Now, I have a lot of bags so hopefully all that gym time with my brother has paid off."

Blaine, though impressed at being bossed around by Jamie's little brother right away, couldn't help the scowl that formed on his face. He hit Jamie's chest when he stuck his tongue out and threw his shoulder around Kurt, leaving Blaine to pick up the backpack from the floor. He followed them over to baggage claim with Kurt's heavy as fuck backpack on his back, waiting for Kurt's god know how many more bags to arrive.

"Now Kurt, I don't know what kind of manners they've been teaching you there but here we say please and thank you."

He returned Kurt's eye roll with an unimpressed look and turned to Jamie.

"Bas wants to know when you want to have your surprise going away party."

Jamie smirked at Blaine's words and patted Kurt's head when he gave Blaine a dumbfounded look before slapping his hand away.

"Please tell me you are supervising Bas, because if he planned it, the party would be full of just dick and awful tasting beer."

"You know I have no problem with just dick and some poor tasting beer."

He winked at Jamie when he kicked his foot and smiled a secret smile.

"Don't you worry, brother. When have I ever disappointed you?"

He pressed his two fingers together and brought them closer to his lips before blowing against Jamie's face.

"It's gonna blow your mind."

Kurt let Jamie and Blaine make plans for an ice luge and beer pong while he dragged his three bags from baggage claim. He dropped the heaviest one at Blaine's feet with a smirk to get his attention.

"Can we please move this riveting conversation about dicks and beer to the car?"

He looked at Jamie with a questioning smile.

"I was promised In and Out upon my arrival and Jamie never breaks a promise."

Blaine pushed Kurt's bag back with his feet and crossed his arms over his chest, clearing his throat as he looked daggers in Kurt's direction.

"Didn't you forget something Kurt?"

Kurt was prepared with another witty retort but one big brother stern look from Jamie and Kurt kept his mouth shut giving Blaine a fake smile and picked up his bag before following the two older boys out to the car.

Blaine automatically got into the passenger seat without so much as a head tilt in question to see if Kurt wanted to sit next to Jamie. While Kurt was a little annoyed by Blaine, he did enjoy sitting in the back listening to them reminisce about their college days and even if Blaine seemed like kind of an asshole, he was glad his brother had found someone to encourage him to have fun and not worry so much. It also got Kurt excited for the experiences he would surely have for the next four years.

Kurt leaned in the middle of the two front seats.

"So am I invited to this party of the century?"

Blaine turned his head to his side only to be met with Kurt's expectant eyes. He gave Kurt a deliberate once over and shrugged, biting his lip to keep himself from smirking.

"I don't know... There'll be lots of booze, and probably some weed. How old were you again?"

Kurt bit his lip, Blaine didn't strike him as the type that would care about underage drinking and debauchery and judging by the stories he had heard from Jamie he most likely partook when he was Kurt's age but Kurt didn't know Blaine enough to know if he was joking or not.

"I'm 18, but I have drank before, several times actually. Plus it's my brothers going away party."

"Jesus, that was precious."

Blaine let out a loud chuckle which turned into an honest to god laugh once he saw the glare Kurt was throwing his way.

"Did you hear that, Jamie boo? Your baby brother is quite the rebel. Good job buddy. That's what I call good influence."

He turned to face Kurt and pretended to consider what he said for while, loving the way Kurt looked back at him daringly. Oh Blaine was going to have so much fun riling that little boy up.

"You're gonna help with the preparations. It's your brother's party after all."

Kurt gave Blaine an annoyed look and leaned back against the seat, kicking the drivers seat when he heard Jamie snickering to himself.

"Shut up J, you are the one leaving me, I should be the one getting the party."

Kurt could sense the mood change when Jamie suddenly went silent, his intent wasn't to make Jamie feel guilty just bad enough to get him to stop encouraging Blaine with his laughter. So he reached over the drivers seat and massaged his brothers shoulders.

"But because I will miss you so damn much, I will make sure these guys don't screw it up."

Kurt winked at Blaine when he turned around with a pissed off look. God it was going to be fun to mess with this guy.

Blaine ignored Kurt for the rest of the way and turned the volume up when Fall Out Boy's Centuries came on the radio, singing along quietly, unable to wipe the small smile away from his face when he heard Kurt's voice join him. At least the little shit knew about good music.

Blaine groaned when they pulled into their driveway because there was a white BMW right next to Blaine's Harley which meant they would need to deal with Sebastian. He shrugged at Jamie's questioning look and got out of the car, taking a bag from the back before making his way to their place.

"You are late."

Blaine didn't even look up, just placed the bag on the floor and unlocked the door, Sebastian already following him inside with Kurt's bag in hand.

"And you are uninvited."

Sebastian rolled his eyes and dropped the bag to the floor to go get himself a beer from the fridge.

"Make yourself at home, why don't you?"

Blaine took the shirt he put on before they went to the airport off, leaving himself only in his undershirt and let out a sigh of content when Sebastian started the AC with the remote.

"Where is the kid?"

Sebastian teasing smile froze on his face when his eyes followed Blaine's gaze and took in the boy that walked inside after Jamie, raising an eyebrow at Bas as if to say what. Sebastian turned to face Blaine, his mouth still open.

"What the fuck man? Why is it always you ending up with hot as fuck roommates?"

Jamie dropped the bag he was holding on the floor with a loud thud and walked right up to Sebastian, crowding his space.

"That's my fucking brother douche bag! He is off limits. And I know you have trouble thinking when your dick is involved so let me spell it out for you. Kurt is too young for you, too smart for you and way out of your league. So no Bas."

Jamie held an ominous gaze at Sebastian until he backed down and held up his hands in defeat.

"Okay man, fuck I get it."

Kurt appreciated his brothers concern, even if it was unnecessary. The truth was he kind of missed his big brother protector. He always felt safe with Jamie. But Kurt could feel the unneeded tension in the air so he stepped between Bas and Jamie to pick up his bag.

"Or you could have just said I had a boyfriend back home so I wasn't interested."

Kurt caught Blaine's eye roll over Sebastian's shoulder but chose to ignore it.

"So where's my room? Judging by the living room, I may need to give it a deep clean before it’s livable."

Blaine grabbed Kurt's other bags from the floor and gestured Kurt to follow him, shaking his head no when Jamie moved to trail behind them. He pointed at Sebastian who sank to the couch and playing with his phone with a seemingly nonchalant expression on his face but they both knew they were two of the few people who had the power to hurt Bas with their words. So Blaine left them alone for the kiss and make up session and walked up to Jamie's old room with Kurt trailing behind. He opened the door and left the bags by Jamie's, now Kurt's, queen sized bed before turning around to face him.

"My room is next to yours so no loud music or sex when I'm working on my paper. We have a Jack and Jill bathroom so try not use up all the hot water in the mornings. Any questions?"

Kurt took in his surroundings. It was a decent sized room and Jamie had kept it fairly clean. He was happy to see that Jamie was using the 500 count sheets he had gotten him for Christmas and smiled fondly at the picture of their family, the last time they were actually a whole family, at the beach sitting on his desk. He would of course have to take down the posters of the half-naked girls and add a bookshelf or two.

Jamie didn't tell Kurt about having to share a bathroom with Blaine and he was less than thrilled about it. He scoffed at Blaine's "rules" and walked into the room dropping his backpack on the bed.

"My boyfriend is in Chicago so you don't have to worry about the sex and I have Beats so you won't hear my music. But while we're on rules, same goes for you and oh absolutely no sex in the shower since we have to share it."

Blaine's lips turned upwards at the mention of said boyfriend and he couldn't help but roll his eyes when Kurt implied he wouldn't be having sex because he had a boyfriend in Chicago. How naive. Fucking freshmen and their high school sweethearts. Kurt needed to do a lot of growing up and Blaine couldn't wait to tease him about his first walk of shame.

He leant back against the wall next to Jamie's desk and wiped the sweat off of his chest with his undershirt, a teasing smirk playing around his lips.

"Well, you see, kid, I'm a spontaneous kind of guy so I don't plan when or where I'll have sex in advance. With that being said, I'm a big fan of shower sex so I don't think I can abide by your rule. But don't worry, mama taught me to clean after myself."

Kurt already hated the fact that Blaine called him kid, it made him feel younger than he already did around a house full of grad students. But for Kurt the dorms weren't an option. He spent 4 years in high school surrounded by small minded people he hated, he didn't need to follow that up with another years of the same except now with no adult supervision. Even if he wanted to, Jamie would have never let him.

So he was stuck with Blaine. So far he pretty much just annoyed Kurt, but on the upside he was pretty to look at. But he was mistaking if he thought he could just order him around the whole time. Not even Jamie could get away with that.

"Fantastic. Well, at least lock the door and turn on some music if the mood strikes you to fuck someone in our shower. I don't need to hear that."

Blaine liked that Kurt wasn't holding anything back, giving as good as he got, and though he knew it was going to be annoying in the long run, for now he was just enjoying the novelty of it. He chuckled lightly and pulled back from the wall he was leaning back against. Just when he was passing by Kurt, he stopped and gave Kurt a once over and shrugged.

"Your loss, kid." Blaine whispered into the air between their faces, his voice teasing yet low.

"A lot of people would pay to hear that."

Kurt didn't realize he was holding his breath when Blaine passed, but he let out a heavy breath when he walked out without letting Kurt respond. He wasn't used to people crowding his space like it was no big deal like that. Kurt shrugged as he unpacked some of his clothes. It would just be another thing to add to the list of things he would have to get used to living with Blaine, right under "has sex wherever he wants." He had a feeling this was going to be a long list.


	2. Chapter 2

“There are times in your lie when, despite the steel weight of your memories and the sadness that seems to lie at your feet like a shadow, you suddenly and strangely feel perfectly okay.”

The week with Jamie had flown by. On Monday he had taken Kurt on his own personal guided tour of the campus that would be his home for the next four years. Kurt fell in love the second he walked down the main thorough fare lined with palm trees making it feel more like a 5 star resort than a college. He didn’t even mind the heat that everyone from Chicago, meaning Mercedes and Rachel, warned him about. It beat cold and snowy any day. Plus Kurt wasn’t going to complain at all the guys walking around with their shirts off, he just had to leave that part out when he described the campus to his boyfriend, Adam. He also understood why his brother almost flunked out his freshman year when during the whole tour he insisted on pointing out all the places he hooked up with girls over the years. On Wednesday, Jamie made sure Kurt had all his books and everything else he would need for his first day of school and even took Kurt out shopping for a new outfit to wear on his first day, something their mom always did before the accident. The rest of the week was full of going to Jamie’s favorite restaurants and bars, which Kurt could actually go to because Jamie’s belated graduation gift to Kurt was his old id, so now if anyone asked he was a 24 year old version of Jamie. The week with Jamie was basically perfect except Blaine tagged along pretty much everywhere they went. Kurt would have said something but he knew how hard it was to say goodbye to Jamie so he got why Blaine was always around. But if Blaine referred to him as “kid” one more time, Kurt wasn’t going to be able to restrain the bitch inside him any longer.

Now it was Saturday night and the party at Jamie’s, now his, house was in full swing. Kurt hadn’t left his room yet, trying to get his hair and outfit perfect was turning out to be harder than it was in Chicago. But that was probably because his typical Saturday night would be a movie and dinner with Adam, not a crazy college party. Kurt finally decided on his favorite Ted Baker striped shirt and a pair of fitted skinny jeans and after the second couple barged into his room looking for a place to do God knows what, Kurt decided it was time to venture out to his first college party.

Blaine came back with two glasses of rum and coke, handing one to Ely, a post graduate Engineering student who claimed to be straight yet had never once complained whenever Blaine danced a little too close to him at parties or just blushed and looked away when Blaine blatantly checked him out at every opportunity. Blaine loved a good challenge and from the way Ely was crowding his space while they were talking it seemed Blaine wasn't going to wait for long. He didn't expect a mind blowing fuck but the newbies were always enthusiastic and that was one of the things that got Blaine going in bed so why not.

He was busy listening to whatever sweet nothings Ely- and what kind of a straight guy was called Ely anyway- was whispering in his ear when he saw Kurt accepting a drink from Sebastian of all people. His eyes searched for Jamie but then he remembered how he disappeared to Blaine's room with some girl he'd been on and off all through his college years and let out a groan. He did not have time for this. If Sebastian wanted to be the cool big bro, which Blaine was sure was the last thing he wanted to be to Kurt, then he would need to take the responsibility of a potentially drunk out of his mind freshman and the hangover it would follow the following day. 

Kurt had been leaning against the wall in the kitchen trying to understand the rules of beer pong when Sebastian found him and offered him a shot and after checking around for his big protective brother, he accepted the drink quickly, trying to make it seem like he took shots all the time. Except Kurt didn’t realized tequila burns when you don’t swallow immediately and he about choked to death after he took it. Luckily Blaine wasn’t around to see Kurt fail miserably because if he had, he no doubt wouldn’t let it go and Kurt would have no hope in shedding the kid image. But Sebastian just laughed, rubbing Kurt’s back a little longer than was needed and offered him another shot, which went much better than the first and Kurt started to feel warm all over. Just as Sebastian was leading Kurt out to the backyard to introduce him to the wonders of the ice louge he felt a tight grip on his wrist, only to turn around to find Blaine giving Bas a strict warning look.

“Let go Blaine! I want to go take more shots with Sebastian… cold ones this time.”

Blaine tightened his grip around Kurt's wrist and pulled him back to his body, getting him out of the way between Sebastian and himself, ignoring what he'd been telling Blaine because Sebastian and shots together were way too dangerous for Kurt's first college party. 

He raised an eyebrow at Sebastian, unimpressed when he rolled his eyes and shook his head. 

"Don't push it, Bas. Go find yourself another boy toy."

After Sebastian shrugged and walked away with a half-smile, Kurt ripped his wrist out of Blaine's tight grip stumbling just slightly from the force he had to use to pull to free himself.

"What the hell Blaine?! I was just trying to have fun. So stop being a buzzkill and let me."

Blaine took the half empty glass from Kurt and let out a tired sigh, already annoyed he had to deal with that while Ely was there waiting to be seduced by Blaine and his magical hands, among other things. 

"Do it with someone else. Didn't Jamie introduce you to Quinn the other day? Go say hello."

He drowned the rest of the tequila in Kurt's glass and looked back in his eyes seriously. 

"Just stay away from Bas, okay?" 

Kurt sighed deeply.

"Whatever."

Kurt walked past Blaine intentionally bumping him with his shoulder and walked towards the house. He grabbed a Jell-O shot from some random guy and turned around to see if Blaine was watching, which of course he was, so he held it up towards Blaine with a cocky smile before downing it and walking into the house.

Blaine rolled his eyes in a way that started to feel like second nature ever since he had Kurt in his life and followed him inside the house, shaking his head when he saw him draining yet another shot glass. Blaine cursed under his breath. That stupid boy was going to give himself alcohol poisoning. At least he was with Quinn's friends and apart from the guy with a mohawk, they seemed pretty harmless. 

He was so engrossed with his babysitting duty he didn't even notice Ely was standing next to him until he handed him a plastic, red cup, brushing his fingers against Blaine's in a way that was in no way platonic. He bit his lip into a smile and turned to face his conquest of the night, enjoying the way Ely's eyes dropping to his lips every time Blaine took a sip of his cup.

Kurt wouldn't tell Blaine that his suggestion to go find Quinn was a good one but he was glad he did because she introduced him to Noah her cousin who was going to be a freshman too. At first Kurt was apprehensive because Noah was the type of guy who would have beat him up in high school but Noah wasn't like that and they immediately hit it off and after 2 more shots they were already best friends. 

Kurt stumbled with Noah back outside where they found a group of kids smoking weed and they watched from outside the circle getting a contact high talking each other into joining since neither of them had ever tried it before.

Blaine obliged quickly when Ely offered to get some fresh air since it'd been a long time since he last saw Kurt and with Jamie still camping in his room-and why Blaine's room for fuck's sake- Blaine was feeling pretty edgy, despite the fact that Ely was getting handsy the more he drank. He found Kurt and the mohawk guy outside the house, lingering around Sebastian's friends that played at his uncle's bar every Friday night, the curious look on their faces both amused and terrified Blaine. It wouldn't take a genius to get what they were up to and Blaine would have so grounded Kurt for screwing up his night with Ely royally if he could. 

He dragged his hand down Ely's side, a seemingly innocent brush of hand against his waist and excused himself for a moment. He nodded at the guys when he caught their eyes and pointed at Kurt, winking at him when he saw the glare Kurt was aiming at his way. 

"So guys, this is Kurt, Jamie's *little* brother." 

He made sure they got what he was implying, emphasizing the word little while eyeing the joints in their hands before giving Kurt a big smile and going back to where he left Ely. If he enjoyed the scowl that formed on Kurt's face more than maybe he should have, well, no one had to know about it, right?

Kurt pulled Noah from the group, now that Blaine introduced him there was no way they were getting offered to smoke and now words like "cute" and "baby" were being thrown around so Kurt definitely didn't want to stick around. He was too busy giving Blaine his best bitch stare while he put the moves on a guy with horrible fashion sense to notice Noah leave and come back with two solo cups full of beer.

"Who was that guy? Do you have two brothers?"

Kurt rolled his eyes and shook his head adamantly spilling part of his drink.

"Noooo He is *not* my brother he is his friend who is a big party pooper."

Noah scoffed and watched as Kurt continued to shoot Blaine brooding looks.

"An older man huh? You should totally tap that, maybe he wouldn't be so grumpy."

Kurt was about to tell Noah just how wrong that statement was when he was gone following a couple girls who were chanting for body shots inside. As Kurt watched Noah chase after the girls the ground started to spin and suddenly Kurt got very dizzy. He tried to grab on to something before realizing he was outside so he decided to sit down instead making sure to hold his cup with both hands so not to spill. He tried to warn people who passed him on their way to the keg about the spinning ground but pretty much everyone ignored him so he decided to take out his phone and text his boyfriend.

To Adam: Heeeey Cutie!!!!!!!

To Kurt: Kurt. It's 2am here are you drunk?

To Adam: Mayybe. Yes. But Tequila! 

To Kurt: Is your brother there? Are you by yourself?

To Adam: He's having sexy times. I met a friend!!!! Noah is super nice and funny and he got me beeeeer.

To Kurt: Oh that's great that you are meeting guys while you are wasted. Anyone else I should know about?

To Adam: Blaine? He won't let me have any fun :( :( but he is like super strong when he grabbed my hand

To Kurt: Seriously Kurt? You are texting me about two guys? What else aren't you telling me?

To Adam: Stop being a mean head! I'm not doing anything wrong.

To Kurt: I beg to differ Kurt. I thought the guy I was dating was more responsible than this. I guess that's what happens when you go to a party school. 

Blaine smirked when Ely didn't protest when he slid his hand into his back pocket, in a way checking the goods before taking him to somewhere less crowded and was about to whisper in his ear to ask Ely to come with him when his eyes caught Kurt's slender figure on the ground, pouting at his phone while nursing a solo cup recklessly. He didn't seem to be aware of the people around him, tackling over him to go their way or spilling their drinks over him while playing around. 

Blaine closed his eyes and took a deep breath, already hating himself for what he was about to do. He pulled back from Ely's warm body, shrugging at the questioning look Ely gave him in return. 

"Shit sorry, I need to deal with some stuff now but look umm.. " 

He reached for Ely's phone and grabbed it from his pocket, saving his number in his contact before handing him back his phone. He leant in slightly, just enough for his lips to hover over Ely's.

"Call me." 

First thing he did when he knelt down in front of Kurt was to take the plastic cup from his hand and toss it across their deck. Kurt was still looking at him like he wanted to bury him alive but at least he wasn't protesting much because honestly Blaine wasn’t sure if he had it in him to be more patient. Next he grabbed his phone which was lit with a new text notification sent 5 minutes ago. Blaine couldn't help but scoff when he read the text which wasn't really his intention at all, it was kind of out there, and made a mental note to deal with it later, hopefully after he managed to take Kurt to his room successfully. 

He pocketed Kurt's phone and grabbed both his hands to pull him up to his feet, securing an arm around his waist when he started to sway around. 

"Jesus, kid, just hold on to me, okay?" 

Kurt tightened his grip around Blaine's waist to try to steady himself and closed his eyes for a second to make the world stop spinning. When he opened them there was Blaine looking at him through these long gorgeous eyelashes that Kurt swore he didn't have yesterday.

"I'm not a kid Blaaaaine, I'm an adult!"

Kurt squeezed Blaine's side tighter.

"I can feel your muscles through your shirt they’re nice."

Blaine bit back a smirk at Kurt's words and raised his eyebrows nearly to his hairline when Kurt dragged his fingers up and down his side. 

"Sure you are kid, sure you are." 

He wrapped an arm around Kurt's body and pushed him through the party crowd, pulling him back against his chest when he swayed forward, about fell down on his ass at the stairs. 

Blaine gave Kurt a stern look and let out a long, exasperated sigh before picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder. 

"I'm going give you so much shit for this you have no idea."

He faltered at the top stairs when he felt something tingly on his hair. 

"What the fuck are .. Are you fucking smelling my hair?" 

"You smell pretty."

Kurt giggled as he bounced up and down on Blaine's shoulder and ran his fingers through Blaine's curls.

"It feels pretty too."

Blaine bit down on his lower lip and tightened his grip around Kurt's legs, trying his best to ignore the warm tingling in his chest at the way Kurt was carding his fingers through his hair. He opened the door to Kurt's room with his free hand and his half-smile turned into a scowl when he saw Bas sucking faces with some guy Blaine had never seen before and ushered them out. He closed the door with his foot behind them and laid Kurt down on his bed. He took one last look at Kurt who was looking back at him with a giddy smile on his face and decided to just leave him like that. It would serve him right for, no matter how unknowingly, cockblocking Blaine in a true Hummel fashion. Except Kurt's giddy smile turned into a pleased one, his gaze softened which was making him look even younger than he was and so much more innocent, Blaine just felt the sudden urge to wrap him in cotton blankets and shield him from any trouble the world may have caused him. 

Jesus fucking Christ. Fucking alcohol would turn only him into a softie. He stepped forward from where he'd been standing stoically and sat down next to Kurt's legs on the bed. He freed Kurt from his loafers and dropped them on the floor, ignoring the way Kurt was staring at him in his peripheral vision. 

Kurt leaned his head on Blaine's shoulder finding it very comforting while Blaine was freeing him from his uncomfortable shoes. He looked up at Blaine with a half-smile on his face which turned into a full smile when Blaine returned it with what seemed like a genuine smile.

"See you can be nice. Where's my phone I want to tell Adam, he wasn't very nice when I told him about you at first."

Blaine moved to unbuckle Kurt's belt and smiled at the content sound that escaped his lips, ignoring Kurt's question as he laid the thin bedspread over his body. 

"Go to sleep, Kurt." 

Kurt looked up at Blaine through innocent eyes before pulling him back down to the bed in a clumsy hug.

"Thanks Blaine."

Even at the awkward position, Blaine seemed to fall into Kurt's arms and right at that moment Kurt wished he could stay there until he fell asleep. As he hugged Blaine longer enjoying the warmth, he whispered drunkenly in his ear.

"That guy you were talking to had horrible clothes; you can do better than that."

Blaine shook his head, trying hard to stifle laughter and pulled back so he could ease himself from the bed. 

"Lucky for me I wasn't interested in his clothes." 

He winked at Kurt when he looked up at him with confused eyes and switched the light off.

"Quite the opposite actually." 

He chuckled at Kurt's understanding “oh” and took Kurt's phone from his pocket, the scowl returning to his face as he reread the text. 

To Adam: Nobody likes bitches. Don't be one. At least not to your fucking boyfriend.  
Btw you're right, ASU is too cool for losers like you.

***

Kurt felt like he was going to die. His head was pounding so hard that he initially thought Blaine was blasting his bass in the next room. His mouth was so dry that he thought if his legs would actually work, he would have gotten a drink from the unfiltered tap in his bathroom. His stomach seemed to think it was starving but just the thought of food made Kurt gag. Kurt tried to cover his face with a pillow to stop the morning, for all he knew afternoon, light from shining through but the laughter coming from the kitchen ensured that he wouldn’t be able to go back and sleep away his life. 

Kurt knocked everything off his nightstand blindly grabbing for his phone only to notice that it was all the way across the room on top of the dresser. With a loud grown and unsteady steps, he made his way across the room to retrieve his phone to find a couple text notifications from Adam. He cursed under his breath when he vaguely remembered texting him last night after drinking the entire world. He opened up the text convo and read through squinted eyes and noticed that someone else had replied back to Adam’s last pissy message and sure as hell wasn’t Kurt. It took Kurt two seconds to realize it was Blaine, after remembering him take his phone away when he was dragging him from the party. Kurt knew Adam wouldn’t approve of how drunk he got last night, mostly because Adam wasn’t really the partying type and Kurt always just went along with what Adam did but his last text to Kurt before Blaine got involved was kind of rude. Kurt was just having fun and to imply that he was just getting drunk and meeting guys was uncalled for which was why he felt a sense of gratitude to Blaine at first for telling him to stop being a bitch because Kurt could never do that. But the messages in response to Blaine’s not friendly text were even worse and Kurt was dreading the phone conversation with Adam in order to fix it. The more Kurt thought about it the madder he got thinking that maybe Blaine knew exactly what he was doing and wanted to fuck up Kurt’s life for sport instead. Kurt clutched his phone in his hand and stormed out to the kitchen where Blaine and Jamie were talking way too loud following a night of heavy drinking. Kurt walked right up to Blaine and held the phone in his face.

“What the fuck Blaine? Who gave you the right to go through *my* phone and text *my* boyfriend?”

Blaine's hand that was about bring the coffee cup to his lips froze halfway and he couldn't help but flinch slightly at the way Kurt forced his way into his space and pushed his phone into his face. He exhaled loudly and set his mug down on the table before grabbing Kurt's wrist and bringing it down. He looked back at Kurt's face, so clearly furious, and shook his head, not able to decide which Kurt was more annoying; drunk or childishly angry. 

"Tell your boyfriend to keep his stupid thoughts to himself then. And while you're at it, remind him he is to show respect to his boyfriend as he seemed to forget that last night." 

Jamie looked up from his coffee and listened to the exchange between Kurt and Blaine trying to piece together something he obviously missed while they had a heated conversation. When Blaine made the comment about Kurt's boyfriend he let out a sound of agreement from behind his coffee cup which was a mistake because Kurt's icy blue eyes were now staring in his general direction. It wasn't that Jamie didn't like Adam, he was perfectly nice and was good for Kurt in high school. The truth was Jamie didn't like seeing Kurt with anyone. No one was deserving of him in Jamie's opinion.

Kurt looked at Jamie angrily and waited for him to avert his eyes with a shrug before turning back to Blaine. He tried to free his wrist from Blaine's death grip but when he did, Blaine just pulled him close enough for Kurt to smell the coffee on his breath.

"I still fail to see how that was your problem to get involved with. I could have handled it myself."

Blaine threw Jamie a look of betrayal because come on Blaine was only defending his little brother's honor there, and averted his gaze to Kurt, whose eyes were boring into Blaine's intensely. 

"Oh yeah?" 

Blaine asked, his voice calm yet challenging.

"As far as I remember you weren't even doing a good job of handling yourself." 

Blaine finally released his wrist and he rubbed it exaggeratedly before running his fingers through his bed head when the memories of last night started flooding back of Blaine putting him to bed and he sighed heavily.

"I would have survived the night without you carrying me like a cave man to my room. Look... just stay out of my business; you will just end up making it more complicated."

Kurt sat down in the seat next to Blaine and pulled his coffee cup from his hands and took a big drink without even looking to see Blaine's reaction all though he tried to hide a smirk when Jamie stifled a laugh.

Blaine closed his eyes and then his mouth and scowled at Jamie who was looking at his brother proudly. Blaine knew how to wipe that look from his face with an exaggerated narration of the previous night but he didn't have it in himself to ruin his mood on their last full day together. 

"Whatever you say, kid." 

He got up from his chair to pour himself another cup of coffee and just when Kurt reached for the last piece of banana pancake, he beat him to it and took it to his plate with a satisfied smile on his face. 

Jamie watched as Kurt and Blaine continued to banter about the last pancake and about how when Kurt went to put creamer in the coffee he pretended not to hear Blaine ask for it and all of it made Jamie smile. He didn't expect Blaine and Kurt to become fast friends, Blaine was too stuck in his ways and Kurt was too stubborn, he just wanted them to look out for each other.

Jamie was feeling guilty leaving his best friend and his little brother without him but judging by the way they were currently mocking each other in between eye rolls, they would be just fine. It would be good for Blaine to have a younger brother type to keep him on his toes and Jamie was confident Blaine would keep Kurt grounded just like he would if he was sticking around. Jamie stole the last bite of pancake from Blaine's plate and the rest of Kurt's coffee.

"Alright ladies stop your bitching and tell me what we are doing for my last day in AZ."

Blaine bit back another snarky comeback that was meant for Kurt and swallowed thickly, noticing the sad tone in Jamie's voice no matter how indifferent he meant to sound. 

"Let's just stay in. I bet Bas will drop by after he gets rid of his treasure of last night too. I don't want to share my best friend with too many people on our last day together." 

Kurt frowned when Jamie mentioned his last day. He had tried his best not to think about the fact that just when he got his brother back he had to leave again. Saying goodbye to Jamie was on the top of Kurt's list of things that sucked the most. Kurt hated to agree with Blaine but he nodded in agreement and grabbed everyone's empty plates and took them to the sink.

"Yeah let's just hang here. I have a hangover to nurse and I want my brother all to myself..."

Kurt looked over to where Blaine cleared his throat before turning back to Jamie.

"Well almost all to myself."

Jamie looked between his two bros and smiled big.

"Perfect. I'll start the Xbox."

***

Blaine had been in a bad mood since he woke up. He snapped at Kurt for taking too long in the shower and then he snapped at him again for making the shower smell like fucking strawberries. He kicked Sebastian out of his room first, and then the house because he was hogging the bed and Blaine couldn't get a good night sleep and Sebastian told him to stop taking it out on him for Jamie's leave before he went to get his goodbye hugs on with Jamie. 

Blaine hated it. He absolutely hated that he wouldn't be sharing his life with the only person that got him like no other in his life anymore. He hated that now he had to replace him with some teenager who annoyed him to no end. He hated that he had no idea how to be a big brother when he didn’t even have a decent father role model in his life.

He put on some basketball shorts and a white basic t-shirt and dragged his feet downstairs to find Jamie and Kurt cuddled up on the couch, watching reruns of SOA on TV. As if he didn't have it enough with Sebastian now Kurt was hogging all the quality time with his best friend and there wasn't even much of that left. Jamie was to leave in two hours. 

Blaine returned Jamie's “morning” with a soft smile as he walked up to them and gave Kurt a head tilt when he looked his way before casually squeezing between them on the couch. He ignored the annoyed huff Kurt let out and pushed him to other side with his hip, grinning big when he heard Kurt curse under his breath. 

"What up losers?" 

Kurt pushed his shoulder into Blaine as he scooted over so that Blaine wasn't half on top of him and shot his brother a what the fuck look that was only returned with a sad smile. Kurt hated it. Kurt hated that Jamie was leaving him without an owner’s manual on how to take care of Blaine, he hated that Jamie wouldn't be there when he came back from his first day of college, he hated that he had to say goodbye when it felt like he just said hi. Kurt acted like he was ready to start the chapter in his life but the truth was Jamie was the only one who made him feel like he could actually do it. 

"Well we were having a great brotherly bonding moment until you came in. What about you? Realized you aren't the only one sad and decided to pull the stick out of your ass?"

Blaine put his head on Jamie's shoulder and got comfortable on the couch before shooting Kurt an unimpressed look. Though he could get why Kurt was being extra grouchy this morning, he really didn't have the time or the energy to pretend to be the bigger person about it. 

"Stop being a little shit. He's my brother too." 

Jamie sighed; though he usually secretly enjoyed Blaine and Kurt's bickering, he didn't want anyone to fight for his attention right now and make him feel guiltier than he already was. He was surprised when Kurt didn't have a response and just laid back on the couch with crossed arms. Jamie put his arm behind Blaine and reached out to put his hand on Kurt's shoulder while Blaine's head rested on his and they just stayed like that watching TV through glassed over eyes.

Even though all three of the boys were willing time to stand still, Jamie glanced at his watch noting that if he didn't leave soon he would be driving in the dark the whole way. Jamie stood up only to sit back down squeezing in between Kurt and Blaine.

"I fucking hate goodbyes so just listen because I am never repeating myself. You two are the most important people to me in this entire world. Now I have given my speeches to each of you individually but I want to say something to both of you. I need you to watch out for each other, have each other's backs. I wouldn't trust either of you in anyone else's hands. I need to know both of you will be alright without me."

Kurt's natural response was usually something snarky and sarcastic but not today. Today he listened. As much as Blaine could get on his nerves he knew just how important Blaine was to Jamie and he would just do anything for his big brother. Kurt reached for one of Jamie's hands.

"I promise Jamie."

Blaine saw Kurt purse his lips when he promised Jamie to look out for Blaine and he could see despite his unwillingness, he was pretty sincere about it and the word adorable crept into Blaine's head before he could stop it. He took Jamie's other hand and gave it a squeeze in reassurance before reaching out to ruffle Kurt's hair, messing it up even more as Kurt tried to shrug his hand off.

"Don't worry, bro. I've handled a Hummel in my life just fine so far, I bet I can do even better with another… Considering I have practice and all." 

He let his lip curl into a relaxed smile when both Jamie and Kurt chuckled, Kurt with an edition of eye roll but who cared, and placed a kiss at the top of Jamie's hair before getting up from the couch. 

"I'll go get the rest of your bags." 

Kurt got up to follow Blaine to help, knowing otherwise he would try to carry them all and risk dropping Jamie's guitar which would result in Jamie killing Blaine before Kurt even had a chance to keep his promise to Jamie. Kurt smirked when he found Blaine trying to do exactly what he thought and grabbed a duffle bag off his shoulders giving him a warm smile when their eyes met. That boy wore his emotions on his face and aside from it being kind of adorable Kurt appreciated the fact that Blaine knew exactly what he was going through. Kurt picked up the last box and motioned with his head for Blaine to follow him.

Blaine followed Kurt outside with a fond smile on his face and watched him load the bags into Jamie's car. He placed the ones he was carrying in the trunk before they closed it, both shaking the dust off their hands. 

Blaine startled when Jamie grabbed his arm from behind to turn him around. 

"Let's make this quick, guys." he whispered into Blaine's shoulder when he pulled him in for a hug that lasted for too long to be counted as quick. Blaine hugged Jamie back with even more enthusiasm, not even caring that he was on the verge of tears for simply having to say goodbye to his best friend. With his workaholic father and too-depressed-to-deal-with-even- her-own-shit mother, Jamie was the only family Blaine knew he could trust with anything. It was never easy to part with that kind of connection. 

"Don't be a shithead and call us as soon as you get there." 

As soon as Blaine released Jamie from his hug, Kurt launched himself into his arms. It was all too overwhelming. His brother leaving and he on the verge of starting this brand new life and he just knew if he tried to make a big long speech about how much he was going to miss his brother, he would only make it through the first sentence before breaking down. So he hoped the tightest hug would get his point across. He finally released Jamie, biting his lip when he saw how hard Jamie was fighting the tears.

"You better get going big brother, the beach awaits you."

Blaine pulled Kurt aside when Jamie moved to get in the car and drive away without looking back because he was a fucker like that and Blaine was sure he was going to stop the car and just breathe for a while only after he disappeared from their sights. He caught a glimpse of Kurt biting his lip and staring down at his shoes as if they offended him out of the corner of his eyes and felt that stupid urge to wrap him up in fluffy blankets again. He shook his head to himself and nudged Kurt's shoulder gently, smiling a soft smile when he averted his gaze to Blaine. 

"Come on, I'll buy you lunch."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all of you who already starting reading this chapter and to all of those who have just picked it up thank you so much for reading. We are super excited about this new story and so hungry for the upcoming chapters. It all happens in good time be are enjoying writing it so much already. As always we love love love all your comments and reviews on the chapter. Enjoy!!

“There are some people who touch you as if you are beautiful, and at times that is the most unbearable thing that you can feel. And there are some people who are so much that you can’t look at them without feeling as if every nerve is pushing out of your body to try to touch his synapses, and you can’t tell if your body is betraying your heart or your heart is betraying your skin.”

Blaine rubbed his fingers over his eyes and pushed his chair back to go make himself some coffee as it was close to midnight and he was nowhere near to catching up with his deadlines. Writing captions for the live broadcasts and helping run and write the copy for the online news stories wasn't what he had in mind for his future job but still it was a pretty decent one for someone who wanted to make some cash and continue his education at the same time. It wasn't much but it was enough to pay the expenses for Blaine's baby which he could only buy by selling the latest Mercedes his dad got him as a graduation gift. Blaine was never going to forget the look on Jamie's face when he saw the car and how he started to call Blaine Mr. Anderson to piss him off. That was how much his dad knew him and in the end he found a way to turn things into his favor so he couldn't complain much really.

He raised his eyebrows when he walked in the kitchen and saw the coffee machine already started, the smell of a full, fresh pot of steaming coffee putting an involuntary smile on Blaine's face. Sharing a living space with Kurt wasn't as hard or annoying as Blaine thought it would be but still there were times Blaine climbed the stairs about to barge in Jamie's room only to remember it wasn't Jamie that was the other end of the door and just went to his room instead, slamming the door behind himself. They both were still getting used to each other and if Blaine was to be completely honest, Kurt was doing his share of trying to make things easier. Not that it would ever be as easy as it was to live with Jamie, but Blaine thought the least he could do was try his best to not let his best friend down. That was why he was making sure Sebastian and Kurt were never alone in the same room when Bas dropped by, or replaced vodka bottles with beer cans if Kurt wanted to join them for a movie night, or reminded Kurt, much to his chagrin, that there was no such thing as harmless flirting and Adam would agree with him if he asked him. It was needless to say Kurt was far from being pleased with Blaine, but no one said they had to be happy about taking care of each other, right?

He found Kurt on the couch, flipping channels while tapping at his phone without even looking down when he came back to the living room. Blaine was sure Kurt was taking his phone even to the bathroom. He made a remark once about how that kind of codependency wasn't a healthy thing for a relationship and Kurt shut him up effectively by simply asking "What would you know?" Yeah, well Hummel’s had a bite. Blaine was over it.

He settled into the other end of the couch and raised his coffee mug when Kurt looked over at him.

"Thanks for the coffee."

Kurt was too busy explaining yet another misunderstanding over text to his boyfriend to notice when Blaine walked in, it was only his loud yawn that caught Kurt's attention and made Kurt mirror the same tired sentiment. Kurt had found himself keeping Blaine's crazy hours as he settled into the house, mostly because if he fell asleep before Blaine it was pretty much guaranteed that he would just get woken up when Blaine finally made it back to his room for his bed time ritual. Sometimes he would fall asleep on the couch and depending on Blaine's mood he would either wake him up or leave him be and just cover him with a blanket. Kurt could tell by the amount of curse words Blaine uttered under his breath that he was stressed out so coffee was the least Kurt could do, and a happy Blaine was a much easier Blaine to live with than the alternative.

Kurt smiled at Blaine's gratitude and nodded.

"Sure. No problem.

A smirk slowly crept across his face and he couldn't resist.

"Though for the amount of coffee you drink that explains the hobbitness."

Blains rested his head against the back of the couch and set his mug down on the arm of the couch, a scowl pushing the corners of his lips down at the yet again another hobbit joke.

"How would you know? Coffee isn't a kid drink."

It was a pretty weak comeback but he was exhausted and since when were hobbit jokes counted as original anyways.

Kurt scoffed at Blaine's lame attempt at a comeback. He was usually more inventive than that, but he knew calling Kurt a kid would always annoy him.

"Damn you must be tired."

Kurt rolled his eyes at the last passive aggressive text from Adam, resolving that it wasn't anything a sexy Skype session couldn't resolve and dropped his phone on the couch tucking his legs underneath him and focusing in on Blaine.

"You shouldn't kill yourself every night you know, no sleep is bad for your skin."

Blaine stretched his legs on the couch now that Kurt got his out of the way and pushed his shirt up to take a look at his skin, shrugging as he averted his gaze to Kurt.

"Nah, I think I am good."

Kurt's eyes went wide when he got a glimpse of Blaine's abs and his stupid brain took 5 seconds too long before it realized he shouldn't be staring. It wasn't that Kurt had suspected anything less, he knew Blaine had a good body, and obviously he knew it as well, Kurt just wasn't expecting it, that's all. Kurt tried to play off what he was sure was a blush on his face and rolled his eyes. He reached out, brushing a curl out of Blaine's eye and poked at the corners of his eye.

"Well what about these wrinkles, old man?"

Blaine scrunched his nose at the nickname and grabbed Kurt's wrist, pulling him down until they were on the same eye level. Kurt blinked and Blaine made his final decision about Kurt's eye color. They were ocean blue.

"They're called smile lines, smartass. It comes naturally with my charming persona."

Kurt stretched out his legs pushing Blaine's off the table where they were resting, smiling smugly.

"Are you sure you didn't mean cocky persona?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow at Blaine and looked at his watch again.

"Maybe you should be drinking warm milk instead of coffee."

Blaine gave Kurt a terse look and drank the rest of his now lukewarm coffee, putting it down on the table next to Kurt's feet with a loud thud.

"We call that projecting in psychology. As far as I know one of us is still considered too young to even buy alcohol and it isn't me."

He got up from the couch and lingered around for a while before settling into his chair, his voice soft and fond as he spoke, remembering all the times he was pulling an all nighter and Jamie sent him to bed with a glass of warm milk with a touch of cinnamon in it.

"Not that anything is wrong with warm milk."

Kurt smiled bigger than he should have at Blaine's dismissive comment on warm milk but it reminded him of his brother and all their late night talks at the kitchen table when they were kids. Kurt stood up stretching in front of Blaine before walking in the kitchen and heating up a saucer of milk pouring it into two mugs topping with his signature sprinkle of cinnamon. He handed one to Blaine giving him a side smile.

"Go to bed Blaine."

Blaine looked away as Kurt stretched his arms, exposing a very generous part of his skin from underneath his t-shirt, Kurt was as pale as Jamie, and went back to his macBook, and noted down a couple ideas that he might use later on. He couldn't help but smile in return when Kurt handed him a mug of warm milk, holding Blaine's gaze as if he knew just what he had been thinking about. It wasn't the same but it was something so Blaine nodded, sharing a bond of understanding with Kurt without actually saying anything.

They were still quiet when they drank up their milk, shoulders brushing against each other lightly as they leant against the kitchen counter. Blaine closed the lid of his laptop and followed Kurt upstairs. Just when Kurt was about to walk into his room, Blaine reached out and grabbed Kurt's wrist in a way that started to be very familiar. He let his lips curl into a playful smile and looked at Kurt's face teasingly.

"Just keep it down, okay? You're not as quiet as you think you are."

Kurt was mortified at Blaine's comment and he was sure he was beet red. Kurt tugged his arm out of his tight grasp and tried to recover the best he could because Blaine did not deserve to be that smug but no witty came to mind so he just stared at Blaine for a second and sighed loudly.

"God Blaine just go to bed."

Kurt immediately went to his room shutting the door loudly before Blaine could make fun of the blush on his cheeks. His only comfort was that he had been told that the sounds he made were ridiculously hot, so at least Blaine couldn't make of fun of him for that. He shook his head and resolved that next time he would turn up the music.

 

***

Kurt had expected to wake up in the morning to his sky blue Prius waiting for him in their driveway but instead he woke up to a phone call from the shipping company telling him that there was a delay and he wouldn’t have his baby for a couple more days. Not the way Kurt wanted to start off his first day of college. He didn’t need the added panic of now figuring out how he was going to get to school and the worry of being late to his very first college class. A couple deep breaths later he tried to shake it off and just decided to start to get ready and worry about his ride predicament later. He was glad that thanks to Jamie he already had his first day of school outfit picked out so he could at least avoid that stress but he still pressed his jeans and steamed his diesel shirt a second time just to be sure. He took extra time in the bathroom to style his hair wanting to make a good first impression on whomever he may encounter on campus, ignoring the three times Blaine tried opening the door to the bathroom only to sigh louder each time when he came to find out it was still locked. Kurt checked and double checked his messenger bag, making sure he had everything he could possibly need. He went back and forth to his room 5 times grabbing extra pens, or highlighters, he was so nervous of not being prepared he probably would have grabbed crayons and glue if he actually had them.

The last thing left for Kurt to do, which he was not particularly looking forward to, was to ask Blaine for a ride to campus. Kurt did not come to this decision lightly, he played around with the idea of taking the bus but just looking at the bus schedules gave him anxiety. He also tried texting Noah for a ride, but he was already on campus. He was sure his request would be met by Blaine with jokes on how he was a kid and couldn’t drive and any other lame joke he was saving for just this situation, but Kurt didn’t really have any other option. So begrudgingly Kurt knocked on Blaine’s bedroom door, not expecting him to answer it as he was putting on his t-shirt, making him forget exactly why he was at Blaine’s door for a second.

“Uh um my car didn’t get delivered like it was supposed to. Do you think you could give me a ride to campus?”

Blaine left the door open and walked back in his room, gesturing Kurt to follow as he hopped down on his bed to put on his dark blue Keds.

He smiled an amused smile once he heard Kurt's question and looked up from his shoes to give him a once over, eyebrows raised to his hairline.

"Are you sure about that?"

Kurt crossed his arms clearly not having time for Blaine's games. He had a perfectly good car parked along the street that he hardly ever used, he was just trying to be difficult.

"Yes of course I'm sure. Could we get going? I have class in an hour and I don't want to be late."

Blaine let out a sigh and bit his inner to keep himself from saying something back, mostly because he still remembered how shitty his first day in college would have gone if he hadn't one Jamie Hummel by his side and Kurt didn't have anyone let alone Jamie.

"Ok, babycakes, lead the way."

Blaine laughed at the bitch face Kurt made at the nickname harder than he should have and followed him downstairs. He locked the door behind them and walked up to their driveway only to find Kurt across the street, standing next to their neighbor's gray Toyoto.

Blaine leant back against his black beauty lazily and called out to Kurt who was looking back at him with an annoyed expression on his face.

"Have you changed your mind? Will Mr. Grayson give you a ride instead?"

Kurt looked at Blaine confused and then back at the gray car he was now leaning against and then up at their neighbors house and then back at Blaine, now at least a couple of shades redder. He looked around making sure no one else saw his mistake and walked quickly to where Blaine was leaning against a motorcycle and Kurt immediately started shaking his head.

"No. Not happening. Where's your real car?"

Blaine crossed his arms over his chest and looked back at Kurt with narrowed eyes, his amused smile turning into a scowl.

"What the fuck do you mean real? This is my ride. Take it or leave it."

Kurt looked at the bike with mild horror on his face.

"T-this is it? This is all you have?"

Kurt bit his lip and looked at Blaine.

"Is it safe?"

Blaine pursed his lips and gave Kurt an offended look. What kind of a question was that? It was a True Blue Harley Davidson and cost Blaine way more than it would have if he wanted to buy that gray Corolla Kurt had been sending longing looks at. It didn't hurt that it was the sexiest ride one could ever have.

He shook his head disapprovingly and went to take his helmet from the back before standing in front of Kurt, his expression sour yet serious.

"You trust me or not?"

Kurt hesitated for a second. Not because he didn't trust Blaine, he weirdly did which was not something that was normally that easy for Kurt, but because he was scared. He had never even touched a motorcycle let alone ride on one and plus what about his hair? After thinking it over for a moment he decided he didn't really have any other option and campus wasn't all that far away so he took the helmet from Blaine and stood awkwardly by the bike, not knowing what to do. He watched Blaine swing his leg over and sit down, looking like he really belonged on the bike which was surprising to Kurt because he never really pictured Blaine like that. He clumsily got on the bike behind Blaine and looked around for something to hold on to.

"What do I hold on to?"

Blaine waited to hear the sound of Kurt buckling his helmet and tightened his glove straps before twisting the grip towards himself. While he was warming up the bike, he could feel Kurt's body brush up against his slightly and from the way Kurt's voice sounded, unsure and still scared, it was obvious it was his first time.

He brought his arms back and grabbed Kurt's sides to pull his body into his closer before wrapping Kurt's arms around his waist securely.

"Ready?"

He raised his voice to be heard over the sexy roar of his baby, a big smile gracing his lips as he flipped the kickstand up.

Kurt felt the bike rumble to life underneath him and a twinge of excitement mixed with fear bubbled inside his stomach although once Blaine wrapped Kurt’s arms around him it felt more like excitement than fear since his safety seemed less of a concern being that close to Blaine. Kurt made sure the strap of his messenger bag was securely on his shoulder and he nodded at Blaine smiling at the big grin on his face. Once Blaine flipped the kickstand and maneuvered the bike out of the neighborhood, Kurt’s nerves came back and his arms instinctively tightened around Blaine’s middle and he scooted closer so his chest was flush against Blaine’s strong back. Kurt could feel the muscles through Blaine’s shirt tighten just slightly and he decided to just focus on that and not think about the busy intersection they were coming up on. Blaine surprised him by turning right before the light and taking him down another neighborhood street and Kurt let out a sigh of relief and opened his eyes that he didn’t realize he was closing. When he did, he noticed the nice breeze blowing against his cheeks, the odd sense of freedom he had not being surrounded by car doors and windows, the expert way Blaine seemed to be handling the bike and still, the tightness of Blaine’s abs as he leant over just a bit and increased the speed. This might not be so bad after all.

Blaine's smile grew bigger when he felt the vibrations of Kurt's laugh against his shoulder, the way his body relaxed and the dead grip he had around Blaine's waist was loosened, just slightly enough so his nails weren't dug into Blaine's stomach letting him know he started to enjoy the ride. Blaine loved it. Any time he got in a stupid fight with Jamie, or he was bored or feeling stressed, he would hop on his bike and take off with no plan, no destination, and no time schedule. That alone was uplifting and empowering. And he was thrilled to see that Kurt didn't turn out to be a skittish, control freak and just let himself trust Blaine.

Kurt's arms were still wrapped around Blaine when Blaine pushed the handgrip towards himself and slowed down the motorcycle, pulling into the driveway near Kurt's first class. He flipped the kickstand down and smiled when he heard Kurt exhale loudly before turning around to face Kurt who was fidgeting with the strap of his helmet. Blaine pushed his hands away and unbuckled the helmet with ease before taking it off Kurt's head. Kurt blinked and smiled, real and beautiful and Blaine hated himself for enjoying it a little too much.

"See, you are still alive."

Kurt looked into Blaine's honey colored eyes that looked more alive than he had ever seen them and nodded pleasantly still sitting with his body close to Blaine's.

"Y-yeah I survived."

Kurt bit his lip.

"How bad is my hair?"

Blaine took a look at Kurt's hair, wind blown, slightly flattened and sticking to everywhere and shrugged like it didn't matter because honestly he didn't see the difference and with those pants that looked like were painted on Kurt, Blaine didn't think anyone was going to pay attention to the hair.

"It's not bad. You're okay, kid."

Kurt rolled his eyes at the word "kid" and put his hand on Blaine's shoulder leaning forward so he could swing his other leg around and got off the bike. He smoothed out his shirt and jeans before looking towards campus, his nerves suddenly coming back but for different reasons this time. He watched Blaine get off his bike and smooth out his wind blown hair.

"Thanks for the ride."

Kurt looked down, the dirt by his feet suddenly very interesting.

"Uh Blaine? Do you think you can give me a ride back home too?"

Blaine bit his lips into a smile and nodded even though Kurt couldn't see him because he was looking at anywhere but Blaine's face.

"Sure thing. I'll text you when I'm done."

Kurt looked up then and though visibly more relaxed, he still seemed nervous and Blaine realized once again just how young and inexperienced Kurt actually was. He let out a sigh and decided to hell with it because Jamie wasn't there and Blaine was all Kurt had. So he reached out and grabbed Kurt's arm, ignoring the surprised look in Kurt's face as he gave him a soft smile.

"Just uh... Just picture everyone in their underwear, okay? The funnier the underwear the better. I promise it helps."

Kurt laughed and smiled genuinely and exhaled heavily.

"Hopefully my professor's cute then."

Kurt winked at Blaine and started to walk away, turning back around to find Blaine still watching at him.

"Thanks Blaine. See you later."

Blaine pushed his hands into his pockets and gave Kurt a head tilt in return, watching him walk away with a fond smile on his face. Come to think of it, maybe Blaine wouldn't have made an awful big brother after all.

***

Blaine rolled his eyes when Quinn threw herself into Kurt's arms as soon as she walked in the door, a serious looking Noah-dude, just call me Puck- like what the fuck- trailing behind her. Blaine didn't even know when they found the time to get so close considering neither of them spent time with each other without Blaine's presence.

"It's because it's love at first sight, Anderson. Stop questioning it."

Quinn plopped down on the couch with a smug looking Kurt agreeing with her as she carded her delicate fingers through Kurt's tousled hair. Whatever. Quinn could be the new babysitter for all Blaine cared. Mike and Santana arrived shortly after, whispering furiously among themselves before greeting everyone, Santana sending a very suspicious wink at Quinn's way. Blaine suggested they pick the movie before Sebastian arrived if they didn't want to be exposed to an insane amount of Jude Law. There were only so many times Blaine could watch Sherlock Holmes with Jude Law as John Watson because as far as Blaine was concerned, there was only one and it was Martin Fucking Freeman.

It was a chaos at first; Quinn whining about not watching enough Ryan Gosling, Puck insisting on The Godfather, Mike going on about the merits of doing a Fast & Furious marathon. But then Santana said Tarantino, Kurt shouted Kill Bill and Blaine nodded adamantly. It satisfied everyone and right on time too because seconds later Sebastian barged in with two six-packs in his arms, calling out to Blaine from the kitchen.

"Pizza guy at the door!"

Kurt got up from where he was sitting in between Quinn and Noah to greet Sebastian. He smiled a flirty smile enough to confuse Bas and give Kurt time to slip a case of beer from under his arm quickly taking two and throwing one to Noah. It was just easier that way than to argue about it with Blaine before he ultimately gets to drink it anyways. Kurt laughed at Sebastian's surprised look and pressed his finger to his lips signaling for him to keep quiet. Bas was harmless but Kurt found it too easy not to play him and it made it even more fun knowing that Blaine hated it.

When Blaine came out of the kitchen Kurt took back his place on the couch smirking when Blaine's eyes darted toward the beers Noah and Kurt were drinking.

"So now that Bas has graced us with his presence and refreshments, can we start the movie?"

Blaine picked up a slice of cheese pizza and returned his gaze to the screen after eyeing the beer in Kurt's hand disapprovingly. It wasn't that he expected anyone to wait to drink until they are 21 but well Kurt was his responsibility and Blaine didn't want a repeat of the night they didn't speak of.

He grunted his complaints when Quinn and Kurt just didn't stop giggling at Sebastian's live commentary about how Uma Thurman was so his type except she was lacking some essential body parts.

"It's like me and Kurt."

Quinn quipped as her grin grew wider.

"I would have stolen Kurt from his boyfriend if I had the right body, damn."

Blaine raised an eyebrow and turned to look at Quinn with a sarcastic smile.

"That and the fact you're like 7 years older than him. You'd basically be dating a kid."

Quinn scrunched her face into a frown and shook her head at Blaine like he failed her.

"And since when is age a criteria? You were all "get some" about Bas dating that high school kid in junior year. Like being older is a gender thing and exclusive to masculine trait."

Blaine let out an exhausted sigh like he didn't have time for that and took a long swig of his beer. The awkward silence was disrupted by Sebastian nudging Blaine's shoulder with the tip of his beer.

"Man, Colin was some fine ass though. It's been long since I had someone like him."

Kurt shrugged at Noah who was looking at him extremely confused and clinked his beer with his like Bas did with Blaine. Kurt than leaned over to Quinn placing a loud kiss on her cheek.

"Aww baby you would be the first one I come to if I dump my boyfriend and change my sexuality."

Kurt heard an exaggerated sigh come from Blaine who was sitting at his feet and Kurt kicked him playfully in the back.

"What? Is it just that you can't keep up with a younger man, grandpa?"

Blaine snorted around the rim of his beer bottle at Kurt's question and grabbed his ankle to pull him down on the floor next to him, chuckling at the thump sound he made when he fell on his ass. He ignored the murderous look on Kurt's face and threw one arm over his shoulder, ruffling his hair until he heard Kurt say his name in that threatening tone Blaine couldn't help but find endearing.

"If with younger men, you mean kids then hell no, I ain't no one's nanny, babycakes."

Kurt darted his head away from Blaine's hand who was wreaking havoc on what was a pretty good hair day.

"Don't take it out on me just because you can't keep younger *men* satisfied like it seems Bas can."

He didn't hide the cocky grin that came across his face when Quinn and Noah uttered their "Oooh's" in perfect harmony.

Blaine rolled his eyes at Sebastian hi fiving with Mike and ignored Santana's "get a room"-because what the fuck?!- before turning to his side to face Kurt properly. He smiled a calm smile and reached out to touch Kurt's hair, gentler this time, dragging his fingers down his face as his eyes bored into Kurt's. He let his hand cup Kurt's cheek, his thumb just brushing the curve of Kurt's mouth softly. He leant forward, only slightly enough so only Kurt could hear what he was going to say.

"Younger men wish I looked at them twice, kid."

Kurt hated that his breath hitched when Blaine got that close to his face and by the smirk on Blaine's face the moment he pulled back, he heard it too. He also hated the quiet chuckles from the peanut gallery, namely Santana who wasn't really trying to be all that quiet. Kurt's skin felt warm from where Blaine had touched his skin and his mouth felt a little dry keeping him from coming up with a witty comeback. So Kurt just took the beer out of Noah's hand for not defending him and leant back against the couch trying to focus on the movie while Blaine kept the satisfied smile on his face.

Blaine threw a pillow at Mike's way when he started to whistle Kill Bill because it was already reached to perfection and they didn't need Mike to butcher it and leant up to grab another beer from the coffee table before handing it to Kurt without a word. That frown Kurt still had going on his face was going to give him wrinkles or some shit and Blaine didn't want to be responsible for that too.

He smirked behind his bottle when he saw Santana take Kurt's old place first then pretty much climb half on top of Quinn's lap. Jamie totally saw that coming and Blaine let out a deep sigh when he searched for Jamie's cocky smile in the room and found Sebastian wiggling his eyebrows at Blaine instead. He set his beer down on the floor and took his phone out of his pocket. He went to Snapchat app, nudged Kurt to pose with him, snapped a selfie and added a "Wish you were" caption before sending it to Jamie, not saying anything when Kurt binge drank the rest of his beer afterwards.

Kurt wasn't sure if it was the way Quinn had been running her fingers through Kurt's hair or the fact that the beer was failing to give him a buzz and just making him relaxed instead but he was finding it very hard to keep his eyes open during the second half of the movie. He must have started to nod off because he felt a hard elbow in his side but when his eyes shot open Blaine's eyes were glued to the TV. Kurt tried to sit up straight and blink his eyes to get him awake but it didn't help and he soon found himself falling asleep again. The next time his eyes opened he found his head resting on Blaine's shoulder, Kurt looked up at Blaine expecting a nudge or comment telling him to go to bed but Blaine just half smiled and moved his arm so it was draped against the couch allowing Kurt to snuggle in more comfortably. Kurt was glad Blaine happened to be in a good mood, because he was weirdly comfortable and the last thing he wanted was to move to anywhere besides right against the steady breathing sounds of Blaine's chest.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah our boys are getting to be a little oblivious to whats going on between them. ;) It is so fun to write. Thank you all for reading this WIP and for your comments thus far! We are really excited where this fic is going! Enjoy!

“The unknonwnness of my needs frightens me. I do not know how huge they are, or how high they are, I only they are not being met.”

 

Kurt pulled his car into the driveway alongside Blaine's motorcycle, making sure to keep a safe distance away from it because otherwise he would get an earful from Blaine about how he needs to be more careful of his "baby." Kurt didn’t completely understand Blaine’s obsession with his bike and he was 99% sure that if Blaine could only save his Harley or Kurt Blaine would choose the bike in a heartbeat even if it meant breaking a promise to Jamie. Plus Kurt didn't really want to ruin his chances of getting to ride passenger again because as it turns out he kind of loves it.

Kurt eased out of his Prius, wincing slightly, still feeling the remnants from a night out with Noah. That, mixed with a hangover made it a very good possibility that Kurt wouldn’t be doing much of anything the rest of the day. He opened the front door quietly, hoping not to wake Blaine as it was way too early for him to be up on a Saturday morning. He crept into the kitchen, in desperate need of coffee, when the sight of Blaine sitting in the dark with his arms crossed with a not so happy look on his face startled him.

Kurt averted his eyes and walked into the kitchen.

"What? Did I miss my curfew?"

Blaine deleted the eighth text message he was about to send to Kurt- not that he was counting or anything- and set his phone down on the table before getting up to follow him into the kitchen. He leant against the wall next to the kitchen door, taking a moment to keep his calm and crossed his arms over his chest again, punctuating each word as he spoke. 

"Where the hell have you been?" 

Kurt walked to the coffee maker to start a new pot, shrugging his shoulders sarcastically. He was too hangover for yet another Blaine lecture and it was way too early to be reminded how he wasn’t Jamie. Kurt was a grown man, in college and he shouldn't have to answer to anyone if he wanted to stay out all night. He knew deep down Jamie would be exactly like Blaine but he resolved it would be equally annoying.

"Not that it is any of your business but I was out with Noah and then I crashed in his dorm. No big deal."

Blaine gritted his teeth, his eyes following the movement of Kurt's hands on the coffee maker intently.

"You made it my business when you, all of a sudden, forgot how to answer your fucking phone. Jamie called and wanted to talk to you too. But guess what? I had no fucking idea where you were and I had to lie to my best friend because of you." 

He wetted his lips with his tongue and took a couple steps towards Kurt, staring him back down as he gave Blaine an already bored look. 

"This will not happen again." 

Kurt scoffed at Blaine's demand and reached up to find his favorite coffee mug in the cupboard.

"Please, Blaine it's just one night. I didn't want to drive after I had been drinking and I did not ask you to lie Jamie on my behalf. Lighten up."

"Lighten up? How the fuck could I know yo-..." 

Whatever Blaine was going to say froze at the tip of his tongue when Kurt held up his arm and Blaine’s eyes zoomed in on the flash of skin where Kurt’s shirt had ridden up on the right side. Blaine swallowed thickly and closed the remaining distance between their bodies without even noticing his feet were moving, eyes still glued to Kurt's probably freshly done tattoo, looking so dark next to the stark paleness of Kurt's skin.

Blaine who already forgot what he was talking about minutes ago, reached out to push the hem of Kurt's shirt all the way up to reveal the tattoo he could only see for a second, mindless of any personal space or appropriate behavior. He brushed his thumb over one of the tiny blackbirds in fascination, his finger warm against Kurt's chilled skin, goose bumps breaking out as Blaine dragged his thumb along Kurt's side. He could see the blackbirds following a trail starting from Kurt's hipbone, flying out of a tree, up to his ribcage. It looked like sin. 

"Did you... Uh when did you get this?" 

Kurt's breath hitched in his throat when Blaine's hands were suddenly all over his skin. He couldn't help but shudder when Blaine traced his fingers down his ribcage and all he could do was just watch Blaine’s fingers with his mouth slightly agape. His warm touch felt oddly soothing over the slight burn of his new tattoo and although it was very out of the ordinary to have Blaine invade his space like that, Kurt didn't protest, he just continued to stare.

"I uh... um... last night."

Blaine licked his lips, still staring down at where his fingers were touching Kurt's skin and he knew how wrong it was, to take without asking first, in this case, even just to take because there was nothing friendly about the way the feel of Kurt's skin was sending a hum through Blaine's body. 

Blaine closed his eyes and willed himself to take his hand off of Kurt, taking a couple steps back before schooling his features into a serious expression and returning his gaze to Kurt's face, which was looking more flushed than it was mere minutes ago. 

"Does Jamie know? Where did you get it? Do you even know how many different skin infections it can cause if not done properly? Jesus, Kurt why do you have to be such a brat about everything?" 

Kurt looked at Blaine with a confused expression, not knowing exactly what to do. One second Blaine's fingertips were skimming over his skin and the next he was peppering him with questions. He pulled his shirt back down after grabbing two coffee cups, tugging it down making sure his tattoo was covered. 

"I haven't had the chance to tell Jamie since I got it last night, Blaine."

Kurt sighed when Blaine's scowl got bigger.

"Noah and I got them done at the tattoo shop by campus. Quinn recommended it." 

Kurt made sure to make eye contact with Blaine and then frowned.

"And why can't you just be cool for once? You would be high fiving Jamie if it was him who got a tattoo not me."

"You aren't Jamie." 

Blaine grabbed one of the coffee mugs from Kurt's hand without saying anything else and went to take his seat at the table, Kurt trailing behind him. He was being unnecessarily harsh but he was still freaking about those stupid seconds he let himself forget about who Kurt was and he was making Kurt pay for it along with himself. 

"Jamie wouldn't get a tattoo without me by his side." 

Kurt grabbed the coffee pot and creamer from the fridge filling Blaine's cup and then his before he sat across from him, the frown still playing on his face despite how hard he tried for it not to show how much what Blaine said bothered him.

"You're right I'm not Jamie. And neither are you. Jamie would have asked me the reason I got it before freaking out. Because he knows me and knows I would never just get a tattoo for no reason."

Blaine looked up from his mug and kept Kurt's gaze for a while, not surprised when Kurt didn't look away and looked back in Blaine's eyes instead. He opened his mouth to say something but then shook his head like he changed his mind and took a sip from his mug, wincing slightly at the scolding temperature of the coffee. Neither of them talked as they drank up their coffee, Blaine chewing his inner lip as he thought about how it hadn't even been a month since Jamie left and how much he was fucking it up already. 

He cleared his throat and nudged Kurt's foot with the tip of his under the table, trying to keep an apologetic smile on his face. 

"So why did you?" 

Kurt stood up taking his cup to the sink and leaned against the counter, biting his lip before looking back into Blaine's eyes. He raised his shirt up to look at the tattoo again. He almost backed out four times before Noah finally forced him into the chair, but once he got it, he was very happy with how it turned out.

"I wanted something to represent this new part of my life."

Kurt traced his fingers over the dark tree at the top of his hip bone.

"The tree represents my life back in Chicago. Dark, ominous... scary."

Kurt then slowly guided his fingertips, following the trail of birds flying from the tree up his side.

"All these blackbirds represent me coming here, leaving my past behind. Starting new."

Blaine tried to focus on what Kurt was saying, he really did but he was a lost cause the moment Kurt pushed his shirt up and revealed the little blackbirds dancing on skin again. He didn't know why he was so intrigued by some tattoo that he would never look at twice if he saw it on someone else's body and he was painfully aware that his sudden fascination with the dark ink on Kurt's pale skin was bad news. Still, he couldn't help the way his eyes dropped to Kurt's navel where his fingers brushed against the worried skin lightly. He was such a tease and he didn't even know it. That should have stopped Blaine from getting up from the table and making his way to where Kurt was leaning back against the kitchen counter, eyes never leaving the trail of birds on Kurt's skin. 

"Uh. May I?" 

Blaine asked pointing at the tattoo and his voice cracked because fuck he didn't even know what he was asking from Kurt. Kurt nodded anyway, mouth open and eyes wide and full of confusion as he kept his gaze on Blaine's face. Blaine started from the bottom this time, tracing each and every little black bird with his finger as he made his way up Kurt's side, his throat feeling too dry, probably from all the coffee he'd been drinking. 

"Beautiful." 

Even Blaine wasn't sure what he was talking about. 

Kurt let out a shaky breath, he didn't mean to, but apparently that was the only thing he could do when Blaine was touching his bare skin. Kurt's only real thought was how it would feel if Blaine's fingers trailed all the way up his neck, and God what would it feel like if his fingers ran through his hair. And all of those things should not be things he should be thinking about. Kurt let out a nervous chuckle.

"I should have just started with this then."

Kurt about face palmed when he spoke. What the fuck did he even mean?

Blaine looked up from where he was staring down at the stark contrast between his olive colored fingers on Kurt's white, delectable skin, eyebrow raised to his hairline as if to ask "Huh?" That was when he realized he was kind of overstaying his welcome and let go of Kurt's side, wiping his palm to his jeans as if to erase the tingly feeling he still had at his fingertips. 

Blaine took a step back and averted his gaze to Kurt's face, exhaling loudly as he put his hands into his pockets. 

"Yeah um so, make sure Jamie knows about it before he comes to visit. You're ... Uh. It looks good, kid." 

No matter how much Blaine would hate to admit, the addition of "kid" was more for his sake than Kurt's. 

Kurt just nodded his head and kept nodding because he still had a hard time remembering how to speak. God this was awkward, why was it awkward? Kurt never thought he would wish they would go back to their witty banter and eye rolling that they had grown accustomed too. Awkward was dangerous.

Kurt brushed by Blaine on his way out of the kitchen doing his best to plaster a cocky smile on his face.

"Yeah um... I will tell him I got your approval. Oh and *kids* don't get tattoos FYI."

Blaine bit the inside of his lip but couldn't help the dark chuckle that escapes his lips, nor the way his eyes got darker when he called out to Kurt. 

"Maybe I should ground you then." 

Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine, which felt much more normal and tried to hide the blush spreading across his cheeks, which also was becoming the norm. He started walking toward his room and held up his shirt one last time.

"Nope. Remember I'm a free bird now, no one is holding me down."

Blaine shook his head and muttered to himself as Kurt climbed the stairs to his room.

"Seems more like jail bait than a free bird to me." 

***  
Kurt had been secretly hoping that Blaine would suggest they take his motorcycle over to Quinn’s for their weekly movie night but since they were in charge of the pizza and beer for the night, it wasn’t practical so here they were in Kurt’s Prius listening to Maroon 5, Kurt turning it up each time Blaine tried to complain about Kurt’s driving. Having the same musical taste was on the short list that of what Blaine and Kurt had in common and Kurt didn’t want to ruin that with Blaine’s nagging. 

Once they reached Quinn’s, they got out of the car quickly since they were already late, not because of Kurt’s driving but because Blaine forgot to order the pizza before they actually got to the pizza place. Kurt slid his keys in his back pocket so he could grab the 2 large pizzas while he let Blaine grab the beer. As they started up to Quinn’s house he realized he had forgotten to lock the car. Kurt sighed and looked over to Blaine.

“I forgot to lock the car, can you grab my keys? They’re in my pocket.”

Blaine rolled his eyes at Kurt and kept the beers under his arm as he moved closer, as slowly as he could, because he was enjoying Kurt's impatient huffs a little too much. 

"Someone's still not over his bumper cars phase, I see." 

He ignored the scowl that formed on Kurt's face upon his words and slid his hand in Kurt's back pocket, splaying his fingers out flat till they touched the metal of the keys. He hooked a finger under the keychain and dragged it out of Kurt's pocket, his knuckles brushing against Kurt's ass through the fabric of his black, tight as fuck jeans. Blaine seriously had no idea how Kurt managed to fit in those every day. 

He made sure the car was locked and pocketed the car key while Kurt was busy looking down at his shoes, thus winning the “who should drive back” argument before it began. He nudged Kurt's shoulder on his way to the door, tipping his head to the side when Kurt gave him a confused look. 

"Coming?" 

Kurt was trying desperately not to think of Blaine's hand on his ass when his words shook him from his daze and he nodded with a little blush and went to knock on Quinn's door which Blaine just opened right after causing Kurt's trademark Blaine scowl to come across his face.

Noah was the first to greet them giving Kurt a bro hug both careful to avoid their sides as their tattoos were still sore.   
Then next thing he knew he was in a lady sandwich between Quinn and Santana who, if he was not mistaken, had their fingers interlocked against the small of Kurt's back. He gave them both a quick kiss on the cheek and followed Blaine into the kitchen.

Blaine immediately started to hand Kurt beer bottles which then Kurt automatically started to open with a bottle opener and hand them out to everyone who had gathered in the kitchen without even a question to Blaine. Kurt spotted Sebastian walk into the kitchen and waved him over with a beer; as he got closer, Kurt felt Blaine's eyes on both of them so Kurt placed his hand in Sebastian's shoulder.

"I saved this one especially for you."

Kurt immediately turned towards Blaine when Sebastian's face got a little whiter and shook his head no. The death stare Blaine was giving him was priceless and just the rise he wanted to get from both of them. He just cracked up and handed Sebastian a beer before pushing him away.

Blaine grabbed a beer for himself and left the rest on the counter for everyone else to help themselves, glaring at the smug smile Kurt was throwing his way. He made a show of rolling his eyes and just when he was about to pass Kurt on his way to the living room, he pinched Kurt's tattooed side, biting his lips into a smile at the squeak that escaped Kurt's lips. 

"Oops. Kind of didn't see you there." 

He clicked bottles with Mike and flopped down on the couch, scooting closer when Sebastian came to join them. 

"You have your hands full with this one, man." 

Blaine shrugged in a way as if to say it is what it is and took a long swig of his beer. 

"I know I'm a fucking saint." 

He cracked a grin at the scandalized look on Sebastian's face and moved to squeeze his shoulder, half as a joke, and half as a warning.

"Don't let him get under your skin though." 

Sebastian raised an eyebrow and nodded halfheartedly, muttering under his breath as he turned his attention to Mike. 

"Yeah right, look how it's turning out for you." 

Kurt had overheard Blaine’s comment as he fell down in the love sac next to Noah and threw a pillow at Blaine almost knocking the beer out of his hand.

“Whatever Blaine, people would kill to live with me. You should count your blessings.”

Blaine looked like he was about to murder Kurt after almost spilling his beer and Quinn must have picked up on it so she effectively changed the subject on to the long excruciating topic of what movie they should watch tonight. Kurt never understood why they didn’t just decide on this before everyone got there, or made the person hosting movie night pick but it seemed like everyone secretly like the debate.

“I think we should watch Pitch Perfect, and if you all disagree, I hate you.”

Quinn flipped her hair and looked to Kurt for approval. Kurt gave her two thumbs up.

“I second that and we can duet on Titanium when that part comes on.”

Blaine let out a pathetic groan when everyone but Mike and himself agreed on Pitch Perfect almost immediately, Santana because two naked girls singing in the shower and Puck because he oddly seemed to do whatever Kurt wanted to which Blaine didn't want to think further into and of course Sebastian because he had this weird obsession going on with Rebel Wilson. If Jamie was there, Blaine was sure they could've convinced everyone to give a chance to The Avengers or at least some X-Men but the golden age was over and Blaine wasn't going to hurt his brain over a movie. 

"Whatever, losers." Blaine grunted, sinking deeper into the couch, his head on Sebastian's lap, as if ready to fall asleep already. 

Kurt high fived Quinn as she passed to put the DVD in and heard Blaine sigh loudly. In reply Kurt stuck his tongue out at Blaine. He really, really liked getting his way over Blaine much more than even his brother.

Right when Freddie Stoma was showing off his abs, Kurt's phone went off causing pretty much everyone to glare at him and he quickly got up to take the call.

"Hey babe. No I'm actually at Quinn's, movie night."

Kurt walked quickly to the kitchen walking over Blaine's outstretched legs.

"I told you about it... Can I call you back?"

He slouched against the wall inside the kitchen running his fingers through his hair.

"Don't be like that. I have time for you, just not right now... Fuck, you know that's not what I meant."

Blaine was about to doze off when Sebastian’s knee jerked up, causing Blaine's head to slip from his lap.  
"The fuck?" He groaned as he sat up, shaking his head at Sebastian laughing with his whole body. He carded his fingers through his hair, rubbing his scalp soothingly as he looked around for another beer. Puck grabbed the last one from the coffee table just when Blaine reached for it and smirked at Blaine as he glared at him back, a scowl pushing the corners of his lips down. 

He untangled his leg from Sebastian's and got up from the couch, making his way to the kitchen only to find Kurt leaning against the counter, talking to someone on the phone. At first Blaine thought it was Jamie and he opened his mouth to tell Kurt to say hi but Kurt didn't even look at his way and his voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke. 

His perfectly tousled hair was sticking out in every direction because he didn’t seem to stop running his fingers through it. Blaine had never seen him look so stressed, not even on the day Jamie left for San Diego. It must have been the boyfriend.

He grabbed a beer from the fridge and cleared his throat loudly to catch Kurt's attention.

"Hey, Kurt." He spoke louder than he needed to, keeping eye contact with Kurt as he gave him a questioning look.

"Jamie is on the phone and wants to hear your voice." 

Kurt raised his eyebrows in question at first, noticing Blaine didn't even have his phone but then realized what he was trying to do and gave him a grateful smile.

"Babe... I need to let you go. Jamie's on the phone and I haven't talked to him in like a week. Yeah, yeah I will call you as soon as I get home."

Kurt hung up and looked at Blaine with tired eyes.

"Thanks. He would not give it a rest tonight. It feels like all I do is re-assure him that I'm not doing anything wrong. It's exhausting."

Blaine nodded in understanding. He had never had a long distance relationship himself before but he witnessed enough to know they almost never work. He didn't share that with Kurt though. He just opened his beer and handed it to Kurt with a soft smile. 

"Maybe he just misses you." 

Kurt took a long drink of his beer and shrugged.

"Or maybe he just doesn't trust me."

Kurt could tell Blaine didn't know exactly what to say but he could tell by the way he bit his bottom lip that he was trying.

"C'mon let’s get back to the movie. I know you can't wait for the acapella battles."

Blaine couldn't help the way the corners of his mouth went upwards, shaking his head fondly like he gave up. He grabbed another beer from the fridge and followed Kurt back into the living room, sharing a small smile with him before taking his old place. Sebastian gave him an odd look but returned his gaze to the screen once Blaine's smile disappeared from his face and he asked Sebastian what it was tersely. 

Kurt sat on the floor in front of Quinn who wanted to play with his hair, which he obliged because he kind of liked the feeling of someone running their fingers through it. It was relaxing. Too relaxing as it turned out because within about 15 minutes he found himself nodding in and out and by the time the Treblemakers were performing at Nationals, he was fully asleep curled against Noah.

Quinn caught Blaine's eyes when he moved to get a slice of cold pizza from the coffee table and tipped her head down where a sleeping Kurt was curled up into a huge, puffy cushion, his lips half parted as he breathed in an out evenly. 

The eye roll came naturally to Blaine and he couldn't help snort when Kurt scrunched his face like he was seeing something unpleasant in his dream and sank further into the cushion. Blaine shook his head. It wasn't adorable at all. 

"If he isn't up by the time this shit is over, you're waking him up." He whispered to Quinn when he caught her smiling down at Kurt's sleeping figure. Quinn gave him a stern mother hen look in return.

As the credits rolled, Noah started talking loudly about how he could have totally been in the Treblemakers and started to demonstrate his vocal prowess before Quinn's hand was thrown over his mouth quickly and she pointed to a sleeping Kurt.

"Shut up you asshole, he is too precious to wake up."

Quinn caught Blaine's eyes after Noah pried her hand off his mouth and gave him another stern look.

"Nope. Not doing it. How can you disturb that face? Poor thing, he must be so tired. Are you making sure he's getting enough rest Blaine?"

Blaine let out a groan and didn't even dignify Quinn's question with an answer. Kurt wasn't tired. He was just tipsy and a tipsy Kurt meant a sleepy Kurt. And Blaine wasn't really a babysitter dammit. He shook his head, mostly to himself and snuggled down next to Sebastian who was tapping at his phone with a signature Sebastian Smyth smirk on his face. That meant business. Sebastian booty called someone and was about to get lucky tonight. 

Quinn also must have taken Blaine's silence as her cue to disappear into her room with Santana and barely minutes after Blaine could hear the faint sounds of giggles coming from her room. 

Blaine got up from the couch with slumped shoulders, kicking Sebastian's legs out of the way just because and went to kneel down next to Kurt. He grabbed his shoulder so he would shake him until he woke up but right then Kurt turned to his side and snuggled into Blaine's legs like a fucking kitten. Blaine would find it cute if it wasn't so annoying. 

"Jesus Christ, Kurt." 

He muttered furiously as he put one arm under Kurt's neck and another under his thighs and scooped him up.

"Hnrmmh ?" Kurt mumbled, without opening his eyes. Blaine gave Sebastian an unimpressed look when he finally looked up from his phone only to wink at Blaine in a way that was probably supposed to mean something. Only Blaine didn't have time for it. He carried Kurt with ease, arms braced under his thighs and Kurt's arms on either side of his neck. 

“You're a child," Blaine whispered in Kurt's ear, surprised at the fondness in his own voice. Kurt hummed his agreement and went back to drooling on Blaine's shirt. Blaine was not a babysitter. 

***

Blaine, despite the fact that he left his room and came downstairs to get a piece of silence, still could hear the music blaring from Kurt's room. That had been going on since Kurt left the breakfast table with a huge cup of coffee, telling Blaine not to disturb him unless absolutely necessary as he was planning on working on some paper that was supposed to be a big deal for his grade. Blaine didn't even want to think about how he was going to deal with finals week. 

He downed the rest of his beer and sat it down on the table before going up the stairs with quick steps, his eyebrows already drawn together and a frown on his face. Enough was enough and nobody said Blaine was a patient man. He turned the knob, swinging the door into the room, ready to tell Kurt to fucking turn it down but came to a halt at the sight in front of him. Kurt was dancing in dizzying circles around his bedroom, wearing gray sweatpants hanging lower on his waistline, exposing the smooth curve of his v-line. He had the huge window thrown open wide, letting the sticky heat of the day in so Blaine could see why he was forgoing any shoes or socks as he danced. For a moment Blaine forgot why he was standing there because Kurt was still dancing, eyes closed and completely unaware of Blaine's presence, skin glistening with sweat as he moved hips to the beat.

Blaine let his lips curl into an amused smile and stayed where he was for a minute, leaning against the door frame and just watching. The beat of the music was fast and heavy, something Blaine didn't think he heard before and Kurt's hair was a mess, sticking out in every direction, probably from running his hands through it constantly as he shook his hips to the beat of the song. 

It was only when the unfamiliar song ended and the player skipped to another track, something Blaine knew this time- ‘Shut Up And Dance’ and really could it be any cheesier- that Kurt paused and tried to catch his breath, his eyes blinking open before he caught Blaine watching. Kurt grinned, easy and beautiful and Blaine shook his head to pull himself out of the daze he'd been in and replaced the amused smile on his face with a scowl instead

"What the fuck, Kurt?" he spoke over the loud music, one hand on his hip as he pointed at the speakers with the other one. 

"Turn it down or I'll throw it out of the window." 

Kurt had been in his room for hours trying to start his research paper for his intro to Econ class but nothing was coming to him and every sentence he wrote just ended up getting deleted a minute later. It also didn't help that Adam was texting him every ten minutes, obviously still pissed at Kurt for not calling him to say goodnight the night he got his tattoo. The tattoo he still hadn't told him about. Kurt had decided to drown out the text messages by connecting his phone to the Bose speakers Jamie left him and listening to music. 

It didn't take long for Kurt to take part in his favorite stress reliever; blasting music and dancing like no one was around. It was so freeing and with every song he could feel the stress melting off. Of course Blaine came in just when what was arguably the best dancing by yourself song came on, yelling at him to turn down the music. Kurt didn't let the smile on his face falter, not when his mood had finally improved and especially not when the scowl on Blaine's face was not believable at all.

Instead Kurt turned the volume up, raising his eyebrows at Blaine and walked towards him grabbing both of his hands and pulled him into the middle of the room and just continued to dance. Kurt's smile only got bigger at Blaine's surprised look as he just stood there and watched Kurt as he danced around him. As the chorus kicked in Kurt mouthed the words "Shut up and dance" challenging him with his eyes.

Blaine didn't even try to look away from the bright, blue eyes, full of mischief, focused so intently on him it was like he was rooted to his spot and couldn't move even if he wanted to. He shook his head no but all Kurt did in return was grin wider. It was a new look on him; a mixture of happy and wild and carefree. Blaine liked it. 

Before he could open his mouth to tell Kurt to shut it, Kurt's hands were on him, low on his hips, pressing in and forcing Blaine into the movement. It was more of muscle memory -because Blaine's body knew how to move when it had a body pressed so close to it, than actual willingness that made Blaine actually start to move, hips rocking and body swaying to the beat. Kurt had one lip between his teeth, but this close Blaine could see how his eyes were shining, how much clearer the blue in his eyes got every time he blinked. It wasn't long until he had Blaine dancing in earnest, singing along with Kurt at the top of his lungs. 

Kurt couldn't help but laugh when Blaine took his hand and spun him around causing him to lose his balance and fall into his chest, and when Kurt pushed back he caught Blaine's eyes, the gold flecks almost dancing around in the beautiful hazel and the crinkles around his eyes made it seem like he was really enjoying himself. 

The old Kurt would have turned off the music and hid in embarrassment the rest of the day if someone had caught him dancing like a fool. He wasn't sure what changed but he didn't care, he was going to be himself from now on no matter what, and it seemed like Blaine approved. There was a comfortableness with Blaine that didn’t exist for Kurt with very many people and usually not this soon, but it was in these little moments Kurt understood why.  
Kurt raised his arms and smirked at Blaine as he danced around before closing his eyes and moving his hands to run his fingers through his hair. He couldn't even remember what he was stressing about anymore.

Blaine willed his eyes to linger on Kurt's face, the relaxed way he threw his head back and exposed his long, pale neck or his broad shoulders, the way his arm muscles flexed as he raised his arms but none of it could keep his eyes from dropping to Kurt's middle, resting on the little pieces of the tattoo he could see from underneath his shirt. Would it be so wrong to reach out and put his hands on it really? They were dancing together, right? Kurt's hands were pretty much running all over his own body, be it the catching of fingertips or some presses of palms against his chest or back as he circled Blaine. 

Because Blaine knew it wouldn't be the same, because he was the adult in this equation and mostly because he didn't want to mess up his life even more than he already did, he kept his hands to himself and just danced until the song was over. Kurt was still laughing as he flopped down on the floor, his back against the side of his bed, looking up at Blaine with joyous eyes. Blaine humored them both with a generous smile first but then schooled his features into a more serious expression as he looked down at Kurt. 

"Tell anyone about this and I'll burn all of your designer jeans." 

Kurt was still trying to catch his breath when Blaine spoke and looked up at him holding his gaze for a little while before biting his lip and nodding. It was over and Kurt felt his stomach drop at the thought, it probably was just because he had to get back to his paper and probably had nothing to do with Blaine and that sparkle in his eye that was now fading. 

"Y...yeah sure. And I'll try to keep it down"

Blaine nodded shortly, though the corners of his lips went upwards slightly at the baby deer eyes Kurt was looking back at him with. Blaine wouldn't have actually burnt any of Kurt's jeans. That would have been a crime against humanity but Kurt didn't need to know about that. 

He wiped the sweat off of his forehead with the back of his hand and walked over the door, feeling Kurt's eyes on him when he turned the knob and opened the door. He turned to face Kurt before he walked out, this time with a playful smirk on his face. 

"And who knows.. If you're a good boy and get your studying done by dinner, we may have brownies for dessert. Jamie's recipe." 

Kurt released his lip from his teeth smiling big as he headed back to his computer.

"You really know how to get me going."

Kurt saw Blaine raise his eyebrows with an amused look on his face before he realized how it sounded and he was sure he turned three shades of red at that realization.

"I...I mean you know how to motivate me... Like you know with Jamie's brownies."

Blaine chuckled at the flustered look on Kurt's face and the adorable way he rambled bashfully, feeling a lot lighter than he had been all day because this was what he got used to with Kurt. As long as they teased each other, as long as Kurt was a little shit about everything and Blaine a little bit of an asshole, they were going to be just fine. So Blaine let his lips turn into a cocky smile and left Kurt's room with a teasing "That's what he said." Kurt's audible "asshole" was making him grin bigger than he should have as he made his way back downstairs.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to heat up you guys!! We had so much fun writing this chapter. Can't wait to hear what you all think about it! Happy Valentines Day!! ;)

“How do you do it? Undressing my soul bare with the intensity of your stare?”

-Nurul

 

Kurt left his Sociology 101 class and checked his phone. One missed call from Noah, two texts from Quinn asking him to meet the gang at The Vine and one text from Blaine telling him to meet him at The Vine. Kurt loved that he always had somewhere to go, somewhere to be even if it was at times exhausting. He started the 15 min trek across campus to where his car was parked and he was already sweating by the time he made it out to Palm walk so instead of turning left he decided to go right towards the business college and in the direction of the bar he was meeting everyone at. He knew he would regret it later if he had to walk back to his car after the bar but he was sure if he threw Quinn some puppy dog eyes she would drive him or maybe he could even convince Blaine to take him home on his motorcycle. As he crossed the street and headed to the Vine he decided that yes, it was about time he had another ride on Blaine's bike, and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

Kurt handed his fake id to the bouncer who must have known Jamie because he just smirked, shook his head and let him into the bar. Kurt smiled nervously and looked at his watch, noticing he was there about 20 minutes before everyone else had agreed to arrive. He headed to the half empty bar and sat two seats away from a cute boy nursing a PBR. He flashed him a friendly smile and then turned his attention toward the bartender ordering his rum and coke.

Jesse smirked behind his beer bottle and let his eyes rest on the new attendant of the bar, looking too young to order booze at a bar but doing it in a way that was so confident Jesse was sure it wasn't his first time here. 

"Your id must be pretty good." 

He blurted out, curling his lips into a smile when the boy met his eyes, confused at being talked to without a greeting whatsoever. Jesse shrugged and pointed at the general direction of the entrance. 

"I know these guys. If it wasn't for my ex, I'd have had to wait till junior year to be let inside this place. Luckily he knew the owner." 

Kurt took his drink from the bartender and moved so his body was facing the guy at the bar only to be met with the most inviting smile he had ever seen. Kurt always felt a slight since of guilt when a guy talked to him without Adam around but he kind of resolved there was no harm in flirting or being nice to someone as long as it didn't mean anything.

"I used my brother’s fake, the bouncer must have recognized him and took pity on his younger, albeit more attractive little brother."

Jesse raised an eyebrow and gave the said younger brother an obvious once over before turning to face the beautiful stranger completely. 

"Nah, I think it was the eyes. I don't think they've ever been said no to." 

Kurt winked at the stranger with a smirk on his face and scooted one seat over to extend his hand to the guy with the beautiful smile.

"I'm introducing myself so you don't start calling me kid or something. Kurt."

Kurt immediately thought of Blaine at that moment and how the kid thing had grown on him, even if he would never let Blaine know that. He was pulled back into the conversation at the laugh from the stranger who was no longer a stranger as he introduced himself as Jesse.

Just as Jesse released Kurt’s hand from a slightly too long hand shake, he heard Quinn arguing with Noah as they walked in and Kurt stuck up his hand and waved at his friends.

Noah waved back at Kurt, wiggling his eyebrows as he took in the way that the guy sitting next to him was looking at Kurt. Noah’s grin froze on his face when Quinn pinched his side enough to make him yelp, making him look away from Kurt effectively. 

"The hell, Quinn?" 

Quinn bit her lip and shook her head as she typed at her phone furiously, ignoring Noah's question for the time being. Barely a minute later, a pissed off looking Sebastian made his way over their table, throwing a scowl at Kurt's way and okay Noah was starting to get angry. 

"Somebody tell me what's with you guys. Now."

Sebastian looked up from Quinn's phone and rolled his eyes as if not knowing why they were acting like they got their panties in a bunch was Noah's fault. 

"The guy Kurt's talking to is Blaine's ex." 

Noah did a double take looking from Sebastian to Kurt and the guy who must have made a joke because Kurt was laughing and then back to Sebastian. He schooled his features into a serious expression.

“Kurt doesn’t know that, he can’t. He wouldn’t talk to the guy if he knew, he has loyalty. I know my best friend.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes like he didn’t care what Noah was saying and then kept his eyes glued to the entrance of the bar while Quinn kept her eyes glued on Kurt hoping he would catch on to her warning glares.

Quinn had texted Santana to catch Blaine at the door and distract him but from the “What the fuck Santana?” he heard as the door opened, she wasn’t very successful.

Blaine gave Santana one last “Are you out of your mind?” look before pushing her out of his way and dragging her to their table by the window with him. From the way Santana was trying to block Blaine's sight, he thought there was some kind of surprise going on and maybe Jamie was there even if it wasn't his birthday or anything but what met him at the table instead was the same faces he'd been seeing almost every day for the past five years, minus Jamie. And Kurt. 

"What? There's no cake?" 

He laughed when Quinn gave him a questioning look in return and took the chair next to hers, draping his jacket over it. 

"You know I could have settled for eve-"

Blaine was trying to catch Toby's attention over the bar. It wasn't even intentional the way his eyes lingered on some tousled hair guy that was looking awfully like Kurt. What made the words stick in his throat though was the other guy sitting next to Kurt. So that was his surprise. Jesse. 

Blaine swallowed thickly and willed his eyes to look away from the freckled face he once loved to stare at for hours. He returned his gaze to Sebastian instead, heart sinking at the miserable look on his face. 

"What.. What's he doing here?" 

Sebastian bit his lip and shrugged as Quinn pushed her beer towards Blaine.

“I dunno man, he was there when we got here. Some fucking nerve he has showing his face here, one call to my uncle and we can make sure that never happens again.”

Noah could feel the tension at the table and noticed the looks everyone at the table were giving each other. There were obviously a lot of things Noah didn’t know, and obviously Kurt didn’t know as well. Kurt was his bro on top of everything and he didn’t want him getting in the middle of something he didn’t know he was in the middle of. Noah could see how important Blaine was to Kurt even if Kurt wouldn’t admit it and maybe didn’t even know himself. He spoke up, in hopes of at least getting Kurt out of the cross fire.

“Kurt got here before any of us, so he was just waiting at the bar. He doesn’t know... he wouldn’t if he…”

Noah was officially shut up by a slap to the back of the head from Quinn so he just took out his phone to send a “get the fuck over here” text to Kurt. Quinn smiled a sad smile at Blaine rubbing his shoulder.

“Blaine, we can go somewhere else.”

Blaine ignored the lump in his throat when he saw that the guy wasn't just looking like Kurt, but actually was him and shook his head at Quinn before getting up from his chair. 

"Get rid of him."

He whispered in Sebastian's ear, eyes cold when they met Jesse's over Sebastian's shoulder before disappearing into the bathroom. He just couldn't believe it. He thought he was done hurting over Jesse. He thought he finally got him out of his system. And what the fuck was Kurt doing, sitting next to him, laughing with him like he was the funniest person in the world. He so wasn't. Blaine would know. 

Kurt felt his phone buzz in his pocket so he pulled it out as Jesse continued to tell him about when he pledged a fraternity. He was greeted with an all caps text from Noah telling him to get his ass over to where all of his friends had gathered. When he looked over his shoulder at the group, Noah was motioning with his head like he had a neck spasm and Quinn was giving him a look that was quite the opposite of the cheery demeanor he was used to. Something was wrong. He gave Jesse an apologetic smile before interrupting his story.

“It was very nice talking with you Jessie, but my friends just got here and they are waiting for me. I have to go”

Jesse rolled his eyes and nodded.

“Yeah. I Figured.”

Kurt gave Jesse a confused look and grabbed his drink from the bar, only to be stopped by Jesse’s hand on his arm.

“How about giving me your number before you leave?”

Kurt grabbed his bag off the floor and looked at Jesse with a surprised look on his face, not expecting to get hit on.

“I um, I have a boyfriend. I’m sorry. Take it easy, Jesse.”

Kurt didn’t let Jesse respond before turning around, passing Sebastian as he made his way to up to the bar where Kurt was just at. Kurt got back to the table and raised his eyes at Noah in question.

“What’s up guys?”

Noah shrugged and looked away when Kurt gave him a questioning look, kicking Quinn's foot under the table lightly. 

"How do you know that guy, Kurt?" 

Quinn asked, her voice soft but her expression far from her usual cheerful self. 

"It's just.. Blaine and he had a thing is all." 

Santana quipped, looking anywhere but Quinn's face. 

"They had a thing?" 

Quinn scowled. It was an odd thing to see on her usually serene face. 

"I've never seen two people so into each other. Blaine was in love. It almost ruined him." 

Quinn's gaze softened at the look on Kurt's face then, the corner of his lips turned downwards, his lower lip caught between his teeth and his always so bright eyes lacking that beautiful light. 

"It isn't my place to say why it didn't work out but Blaine wasn't ready to see him, Kurt. He wasn't ready at all." 

Kurt spun around just in enough time to see Sebastian talking with his arms crossed to Jesse, crowding his space until he got up from the bar and walked towards the door with what it sounded like a “fuck you” to Sebastian. Kurt looked back at Quinn with a frown, shaking his head.

“I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know. Blaine and I argue sometimes but I would never even talk to one of his exs.”

Kurt bit his lip as he vaguely recalled talking to his brother a while back and how worried he sounded because his best friend had went through a massive breakup; he even canceled his trip to Chicago for some “bro time”, which Kurt was pissed about for months. Kurt’s eyes darted around the bar in search of Blaine while Sebastian continued to grumble about what an asshole Jesse was and how badly he wanted to punch him off the bar stool. He interrupted Sebastian’s rant without even knowing what he was going on about.

“Where’s Blaine? Did he leave? Is he okay? I should find him.”

Quinn pulled Sebastian down next to her and placed a kiss at the top of his hair while shaking her head at Kurt, reaching out to take his hand in his on the table. 

"It's okay, precious. Let's just give him some time. He'll be alright." 

Blaine ran his wet hands through his curls and took a good look at himself in the mirror. He was still looking a little pale but at least he wasn't feeling like he was ready to burst into flames at any minute. His eyes landed on their table almost automatically as he stepped out of the bathroom, exhaling loudly when he caught eyes with Kurt. He gave him a half smile and started for the bar. No sight of him. He let out a sigh of relief as he hopped on the bar stool, ordering a Jack and coke and downing it in one big gulp before asking Toby for a second. He was already feeling better. 

Kurt watched Blaine down his drink at the bar and immediately order another one. Blaine was passed his get completely-wasted-as-quickly-as-possible phase so Kurt knew he wasn't okay. Sebastian stood up at the same time Kurt did and Kurt put his hand on Sebastian's shoulder, gently pushing him back down in his seat.

"Let me."

Kurt walked up to the bar and stood next to Blaine and handed his empty glass to Toby. 

"I'll have what he's having."

When Blaine looked over at Kurt in mid eye roll Kurt just waggled his eyebrows at Blaine, eliciting a chuckle and a small smile. Kurt felt like some of the tension he was unknowingly holding in release when Blaine smiled, and he really hoped Blaine felt it too. The world was a much better place when Blaine Anderson was smiling. 

Blaine appreciated that Kurt didn't try to ask anything, not even an "Are you okay?" He probably knew the reason why the guy he had been talking to wasn't there anymore and Blaine would have hated himself for letting Kurt see him in a vulnerable state but for some reason he found he was kind of breathing better when Kurt was acting like nothing happened, like he would say something silly and Blaine would roll his eyes, still in the habit of acting like everything that left Kurt's lips was annoying instead of endearing and boom everything was like the way it used to be. 

Blaine wanted to ask Kurt so many questions though. Like why was he talking to him?. What was he talking to him about?. Did he like his lopsided smile as much as Blaine once did? Did he feel like he was the most beautiful thing in the world because he was looking at him in certain way? But he didn't. He wasn't sure with whom he would have been more upset if the answers were yes. He ordered another Jack and coke instead, enjoying the warm buzz already coursing through his veins. 

Kurt nudged Blaine with his shoulder, effectively taking away any space that was between them and clinked his glass with Blaine's half empty glass.

"Don't drink so fast; you need to give me a ride home after this."

Blaine smirked at Kurt's unspoken enthusiasm for the bike ride, feeling almost proud of himself for turning Kurt into an adrenalin junkie but shrugged when Kurt gave him his I'm serious look. He curled his fingers around Kurt's wrist just when he raised his glass to his mouth and brought it to his lips instead, feeling the burn of rum in his throat as he took a big sip. He grinned at the way Kurt's lips parted; his mouth falling open as he watched Blaine steal his drink scandalized and licked his lips lazily. 

"Sorry, we'll just have to catch a cab this time." 

Kurt tried to hide his disappointment when Blaine mentioned a cab; he would have to think for other excuses to get to ride his bike but tonight wasn't about Kurt, it was about taking Blaine's mind off whatever that asshole did to him in the past. Kurt placed his lips on the same place Blaine's had just been on his glass and took the last sip before smirking at Blaine and setting it on the bar. Just then Maroon 5's, “Animal” came on over the sound system and Kurt's smirk got bigger. He waved off the bartender when Blaine ordered another round and dismissed Blaine's “what the fuck” look and grabbed his hand, giving him his best puppy dog eyes.

"I love this song. Dance with me?"

Blaine let out a silent groan and gave Kurt a derisive, doubtful look, interlocking their fingers on his thigh without even noticing. He was feeling sleepy and warm and what he needed was another glass of something that would make him forget about his night but there Kurt was, looking at Blaine with his baby deer eyes that for some reason Blaine didn’t seem to be able to say no. So he gave Kurt's fingers a squeeze and stood up, rolling his eyes when Kurt's smile got ten times bigger. He was on his way to being wasted already. Kurt didn't really need to smile that dazzling smile. 

It was awkward at first. Blaine was too aware of everything; the way Quinn kept sending worried looks their way, the ground-shaking bass making everything blurrier, Kurt's hands on his chest, not pushing, just resting there, their legs brushing against each other as they moved, swayed, shook hips. The way he didn’t know what to do with his hands as Kurt moved closer. He felt like his skin was too tight. Like there wasn't enough air in the room for him to breathe. But then Kurt leant in, just slightly but firm, his hand on Blaine's chest curling around his shoulder, fingers pressing into Blaine's skin through the fabric of his shirt. His lips hovered over his ear for a while before Blaine heard a soft "I'm sorry." escape Kurt's lips. Blaine stopped fidgeting then, his eyes sharp and calculating as they rested on Kurt's. He didn't know why he was still angry. He didn't know why he was angry with Kurt in the first place. And he didn't know why he needed to hear him say sorry so much but he did. He was still mad, hurt, tired, disappointed, mostly with himself, but with Kurt by side, looking at him with beautiful, blue eyes with a simple, sincere apology on his lips, he somehow felt better. 

"It's okay." 

They were dancing slow. Too slow for the song but for some reason it seemed just right. Just right, with Blaine's hand slowly moving around his waist, settling his head between his neck and his shoulder. Too right for Kurt to think about the millions reasons why it was so wrong for him to feel that way. It also felt good that Blaine forgave him, not because he felt like he did something wrong but because he felt like he betrayed Blaine in a way and it was kind of surprising to Kurt how much he cared about upsetting him. He moved closer to Blaine's ear, as close as he could get without actually touching his lips to it.

"I'm glad I met him though. Just so I could tell you that you deserve way better than that."

Kurt interlocked his fingers behind Blaine's head.

"I wished I had known though, because I would have punched him in his throat."

Blaine let his lips curl into a small smile, pressing his chin deeper into the crook of Kurt's neck as if to hide the fact that he was actually smiling, about something that made him miserable just minutes ago. Once he was sure his lips wouldn't betray him, he pulled his head back slightly, searching Kurt's face for something he didn't even know what. Kurt had really long eyelashes. Blaine could see the shadow they created over Kurt's cheeks whenever Kurt blinked. And woah. Since when did Blaine cared about a guy's eyelashes? 

Baby I'm praying on you tonight

Now that Blaine was letting himself look, Kurt was really beautiful. Like when he would stare you in the face, like he was doing now, he would hit you like a windstorm. Blaine’s head was spinning.

Hunt you down eat you alive 

There was a little voice in the back of Blaine's head that whispered that this was not okay, that nothing good could come out of this. 

Just like animals, animals, like animals-mals 

Blaine grabbed Kurt's side tight and turned him around in his hold, arms wrapped around Kurt's waist, his back pressed against Blaine's chest. Kurt's face was making him think stupid things. 

Kurt didn't realize his breath was stuck in his throat until he was able to release it when Blaine turned him around. As he pushed his ass back into Blaine instinctively, he caught Noah watching them from behind his beer, giving him full on heart eyes and making the heart symbol with his fingers. Kurt shook his head and went back to loosing himself in dancing with Blaine. He knew it would be over soon. Just like in his room that one afternoon and he desperately wished he held the music controls so he could push rewind.

Blaine's fingers were touching Kurt's bare skin from where his shirt ridden up, probably pressing into some of the black birds when he moved them. Despite the familiar alcohol buzz spreading all through his body, making him all loose and carefree, he was still aware of how much he was holding himself back, how vehemently he was reminding himself that the body he was holding in his arms wasn't his, not even for the night, and therefore not okay to get ideas about the proximity of their bodies, about the effortless way they seemed to move together, about the fact that one song turned into two, three and Kurt still didn't untangle himself from Blaine, eyes closed, still dancing the night away. 

He was almost relieved when Sebastian danced his way over them, Santana and Quinn trailing behind and stepped between them just when Kurt threw his head back. They created a small circle later, Sebastian giving him Blaine questioning looks as he hooked his arms around Blaine's neck, Kurt sandwiched between Quinn and Santana, racing their hips to the beat. 

"It's okay, Blaine." 

Sebastian spoke in his ear, uncharacteristically serious but understanding, though Blaine had no idea what it was that was okay. Maybe he meant he successfully got rid of Him and letting Blaine know that it was okay. Who knew with Sebastian? He still nodded anyway. Thinking was hurting his brain at that moment. 

They all danced like that for the rest of the night, groups breaking off here and there to take a break or grab a drink. Kurt stayed in his Quinntana sandwich most of the night, catching Blaine's eyes over Sebastian's shoulder in quick glances. He just wanted to make sure he was okay. He still didn't know the whole story about what happened with Jesse but by everyone's reactions he knew that jerk really fucked with Blaine and tonight could have been a lot worse. But with Blaine laughing with Sebastian and even joking with Noah, Kurt felt like he could breathe knowing Blaine was okay. That was what his job was, right? He was supposed to take care of Blaine; this was what his brother would want, right?

After everyone was effectively exhausted from the dancing and drinking, Quinn ushered them out of the bar making sure everyone had rides who needed them. With a quick kiss to Santana's lips that they didn't even tried to hide, Quinn pushed Blaine and Kurt into the backseat of her BMW while Noah got into the passenger seat. Kurt didn't have the energy to scoot to the other side of the car when Blaine got in, even when Blaine tried but not really tried to push him over. He just let Blaine squeeze in right next to him, pressed against his side.

"Noooo Blaine, I'm tired. Don't make me move."

Blaine knew that the moment he stopped fidgeting and let Kurt put his head on his chest, he was going to have to carry a sleeping Kurt to his room but he didn't have it in himself to push him away when he scooted closer, like the little kitten he was, letting out content sighs that sounded like purrs when he finally got himself comfortable. 

Blaine told Noah no when he asked if he needed any help when Quinn pulled into their driveway, partly because he was fully capable of carrying Kurt himself and mostly because he kind of felt like it was his job, not Noah's, to take care of Kurt when he couldn't himself. 

He thanked Quinn for the ride, giving her a tired smile when she held his gaze for a little too long, her way of making sure Blaine was really okay, and got out of the car himself first. Then he leant forward, slid one hand beneath Kurt's shoulders and propped him up a bit, his free hand under his knees and lifted him, his head dropping to Blaine's shoulder almost immediately. Considering the slightly intoxicated state he was in, he managed to carry Kurt into the house, then to his room successfully. That was until his foot tangled with Kurt's sneakers and he bumped into Kurt's table, Kurt still securely wrapped up in his arms, but Blaine could see his eyelashes fluttering open.

Kurt slowly opened his eyes, not completely aware where he was at the moment, but when his eyes were able to focus he saw Blaine looking at him with a soft but worried smile on his face. Kurt suddenly became completely aware that his arms were wrapped loosely around his neck and Blaine’s strong arms were still holding him tightly. With his head resting on Blaine’s shoulder, he was almost too comfy to want to move, the idea of falling back asleep in Blaine’s arms was tempting but not at all appropriate. Kurt smiled a sleepy smile and then dropped his legs, his body feeling heavy when his feet hit the ground, his arms were the last thing to become untangled from Blaine and if it took him a little too long to do so, he would blame it on how tired he was.

Kurt kicked off his shoes, wobbling just enough for Blaine to grab his waist to stabilize him. Blaine was usually pretty quick to leave his room, maybe because it wasn’t Jamie’s anymore, maybe because him and Kurt weren’t that close yet but tonight Blaine lingered which made Kurt think he wanted to talk. As Kurt grabbed his sleeping shirt and some basketball shorts to change into, he talked to Blaine on the way to the bathroom, making sure to leave the door open so he could hear Blaine’s response.

“So… I’ve never seen anything affect you like tonight did. Want to tell me what happened to this jerk face Jesse guy?

Blaine rubbed his fingers over his eyes and let out a tired sigh, a small smile gracing his lips at the nickname Kurt used for him. He knew he could just pretend not to hear what Kurt asked and leave the room any moment but for some reason he flopped down on the floor, his back against Kurt's bed, his face between his hands. 

"How do you know something happened?" 

What Blaine was trying to ask how much he knew, what he really heard but he felt weird suddenly thinking about things he hadn't for so long, remembering things he thought he already forgot and he was just buying himself some time. 

Kurt changed and walked out of the bathroom, giving Blaine a look to tell him it was kind of obvious something happened between him and Jesse but he was on the verge of actually having a deep conversation with Blaine so he didn’t want to scare him off with sarcasm. So Kurt just shrugged and walked over, sitting on the edge of his bed.

“I dunno. I didn’t even know who he was until I made it back to the table and then Quinn and Bas mentioned he was your ex. Plus I could tell something was bothering you. I know you better than you think Blaine.”

Blaine raised an eyebrow at that but didn't say anything to object, kicking his shoes off as he stretched comfortably on the floor. He missed this. Being in this room, not because he had to but because he wanted to.

He shrugged when he realized he still hadn't answered Kurt's question, worrying his lower lip between his teeth before he spoke. 

"It was nice at first, you know. Butterflies in the stomach, extra sway in my hips kind of nice. Jamie used to tease me about it. But I knew he was happy for me. And I was too. I had never been before..You know... Happy because the person I loved was loving me back." 

He licked his lips, the only other sound except from his own voice was the soft hums of Kurt and the faint sounds of cars passing through the main street. 

"Then, all of a sudden, without any warning whatsoever, it stopped feeling nice. I think that's what haunts people most. That it always happens when you least expect it." 

He draped an arm over Kurt's bed, turning slightly so he could see his face. 

"You know the worst thing you can do to a person is make them feel like they're hard to love. I-I didn't think.. I mean He was just-" 

Blaine stopped talking mid-sentence, his eyes sharp as he kept Kurt's gaze. 

"Do you love Adam, Kurt?" 

Kurt bit his lip at that question. He had been struggling with that same question in his head for a while. With the constant fighting and reassuring each other the thought came across his mind a lot, was that what falling out of love felt like?

Kurt sighed and sunk down to the floor shoulder to shoulder with Blaine and looked down at his hands.

"I uh... I think I... yes. I mean why would I do this long distance crap if I didn't right?

The look Blaine was giving him was honest, because Kurt knew how it sounded. It sounded like Kurt was trying to force himself to believe it, not Blaine. He didn't want to make this about him though so he tried to refocus the subject.

"Loving a person isn't hard Blaine. It's all the other crap that's hard. So if he... If he made you feel like loving you was the problem then I was right, I should have punched him in the throat." 

Blaine shook his head and grabbed Kurt's hand that was resting on his thigh, making him look at him, his face still serious as they locked eyes. 

"That question I asked you? The answer is never I think, Kurt. It's either yes or no." 

He squeezed Kurt's hand, wanting to make sure he got what he was saying; because it was important to Blaine he understood it. 

"You don't know how much it sucks when your answer is "yes, of course" and his is "yeah I think"." 

He took a deep breath, missing his eyes from Kurt's intense stare. Even though he had two layers on him, he felt naked under that stare. 

"I was still very much in love with him... with Jesse when he stopped. I didn't know that then. I thought everything was perfect between us. But then, every single thing I did started to get too annoying to him. I was being too possessive if I told him I didn't like the way he was dancing with that guy at the club, too controlling if I wanted to know why he cancelled our date, too suffocating because I loved to cuddle after sex. The more he tried to push me away, the more I panicked. Because who wouldn't, right? I thought I couldn't live without him then. Stupid." 

He felt Kurt squeeze his fingers in protest and rubbed his thumb over the inside of his wrist in return, wetting his lips with his tongue before he continued. 

"I've never resented him for falling out of love with me. You can't control the way people feel about you. But I pretty much hate him for making me try for nothing, for not being honest with me and ending it before I got even more invested, for making me feel like I was doing something wrong for caring for him, loving him, for treating me like I was his backup plan, for taking me for granted. For moving on like what he had was nothing to him while I was dying inside every day. Because that's what I do, you know? I'm kind of intense when it comes to feelings.”

He didn't think he had ever said these things to anyone before. Not even to Jamie. Maybe because he already knew everything Blaine was going through. But still, here he was, pouring his heart to Kurt and not feeling embarrassed about it in the slightest. 

"You probably think I'm pathetic, letting some guy treat me like trash. But that isn't the point. The point is there are worse things than being cheated on and that's being silent about your nonexistent feelings when the other person is screaming his love for you. That’s just destruction in the making.”

Kurt tightened his grip on Blaine’s hand after he finished speaking, it probably should have felt weird holding Blaine’s hand like this, but it didn’t, not in the slightest. He could see the hurt still present in Blaine’s eyes and he felt the guilt rising in his chest. Was he treating Adam like that? He hoped not, it just felt like they were growing apart from each other and Kurt didn’t know what to do about it. He sat in silence, thinking about everything Blaine had told him, still holding his hand. Eventually he looked back into Blaine’s eyes which were still watching him.

“You’re not pathetic, not in the least. He’s the pathetic one for treating you like that, leading you on, watching you hurt and not doing anything about it. You didn’t deserve that. And he didn’t deserve even a second of my time. Blaine, you have to know I would have never even looked his way if I had known.”

Kurt untangled his fingers from around Blaine’s hand and just rested his hand on top of Blaine’s hand resting on his thigh.

“And I get what you are saying Blaine. I really do. I feel like somehow this turned into you giving me advice instead of me trying to make you feel better. How did that happen?”

Blaine chuckled at the genuine confusion in Kurt's voice and shrugged, a teasing smirk playing around his lips. 

"I would bring up the fact you're lacking experience because..." 

He enjoyed the way Kurt narrowed his eyes immediately, looking back at Blaine expectantly. Blaine leant forward slightly, covering the corner of his mouth as if he was revealing some top secret information as he whispered in Kurt's ear.

"Kid, you know..." 

He pulled his head back, biting his lip to keep himself from smiling.

"But you're kind of being nice to me so I'll let it pass this time." 

Kurt playfully pushed Blaine in the shoulder, kind of hating that he now found "kid" as a term of endearment rather than an insult. But he rolled his eyes because that was what he did pretty much the majority of time him and Blaine talked.

"Oh I'm sure I could still teach you a few things."

Kurt returned Blaine's smirk and stood up extending his hand out to Blaine pulling him to stand.

Blaine took Kurt's hand and let him to pull him to his feet; grabbing Kurt's bicep to steady himself as their chest collided, letting his hand caress down Kurt's entire arm before he stepped back. He would have asked for a hug if Jamie was here. He wouldn't even have had to. Instead, he just smiled a genuine thankful smile and nodded like they reached to an understanding.

"Good night, Kurt." 

Kurt pursed his lips together and whispered softer than he meant to as he watched Blaine cross through the bathroom into his room.

"Night, Blaine."

Xxx

Kurt didn't know what he was hoping for after his and Blaine's heart to heart in his room after the bar, maybe that they had finally broken down the invisible wall between them or maybe just that Blaine would start viewing him as a friend rather than his friend's baby brother. Nothing changed. Well, nothing changed between them. They still gave each other shit pretty much at every opportunity, Kurt's eye's still were tired from all the eye rolls and their constant bickering that for some really odd reason was now more charming than annoying continued like clockwork. What did change was apparently the competition Blaine was having with himself on how many randoms he could hook up with in a week.

Kurt had heard Blaine bring a guy home maybe two or three times while he had been living there and every time Blaine made it clear that Kurt needed to make himself invisible or at least seem that way. And that was fine, was he bitter that he hadn't had sex for two months? Maybe. But looking how Blaine looked, he knew that him having visitors was inevitable. But ever since the night where they ran into Jesse, it was like Blaine had a new guy every night, even a couple afternoons thrown in for good measure.

After the fourth day of seeing Blaine's conquests from the night do the walk of shame out their front door the next morning, Kurt decided to ask Blaine what was up, thinking that this was what friends would do but Blaine just blew it off. Like this was normal behavior, like he always acted like that. But he bit his lip after he told Kurt that he was just jealous of all the hot sex he was having which meant that there was something he wasn't saying. Blaine seemed to do that when he was holding back something he really wanted to say. 

He first caught on to it when Quinn was adamantly denying that there was in fact a her and Santana and Blaine started to speak then chewed on his lip and told her that he believed her as long as she was happy. But on the car ride back he continued to tell Kurt how he couldn't believe Quinn at all. Now that he was now aware of that fact, he noticed that he did it a lot around Kurt, probably to keep back the really sarcastic comments but still. 

The next night Blaine didn't come home at all. Kurt got no sleep that night. He now knew how Blaine felt when he ignored Blaine's texts. He was prepared to pepper Blaine with questions the second Blaine walked into the door, but he came in the next morning looking like shit, completely hangover so Kurt just gave him a cup of coffee and sent him to bed.

A week and a half of this and Kurt was a multitude of emotions; he was pissed that Blaine couldn't give a fuck about how he felt having strangers in the house constantly, he was worried because this so wasn't Blaine and he was jealous. That emotion took Kurt off guard, but with everyone having sex around him and him not being able to was enough to justify it. He wanted to call Jamie or tell Quinn about Blaine's change in behavior but it really wasn't any of their business including Kurt’s, but Kurt just had to deal with it because he was his roommate and because he made a promise to Jamie.

It was 1am on a Thursday when Kurt resolved to go to bed after deciding that Blaine wasn't coming home once again. At around 3 something startled Kurt awake and when he couldn't figure out what it was he made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen for some water. He heard some whispers coming from the family room and crossed his arms and moved towards the door way scoffing at the fact he had to deal with this so early in the morning.

Blaine sank his teeth into the guy's neck, making a shushing sound but the guy that he had his hands on didn't seem to be able to stop making sounds as long as Blaine kept his lips attached to his neck. Which was kind of hot actually but Blaine, even in his drunk out of his mind state, remembered he wasn't living alone and was about to pull back and tell him to keep it down when the guy pressed their hips together, making Blaine gasp at the heavenly friction. 

He didn't even know when he- was it a him?- took off his shirt after that but here Blaine was standing in his half naked glory. Blaine really knew how to pick them. Pale skin, broad shoulders, tiny little waist. He didn't waste a second reattaching his lips to the guy's neck, his hand tracing the line from his shoulder to his neck, his grip strong. Maybe this time it was the right one. Maybe this time Blaine was finally going to be able to get rid of this itch under his skin that had been driving him crazy since the night at The Vine. 

His head jerked up at the sound of a gasp, this time softer and more surprised so unlike the guy's shameless, satisfied groans. He dug his fingernails deeper into the flesh of the man when he saw that his guess was correct and some sick part of his brain was pretty pleased with the fact that Kurt was standing there, almost ten feet away from them, his gaze trailing down Blaine's arm to where he was framing the guy's hips, the pads of his fingers resting on the swell of his ass. Blaine kept his lips pressed to the joint between the guy's shoulder and neck when Kurt's gaze trailed upwards, taking in the broad shoulders of the stranger before his eyes met Blaine's dark ones. Blaine inhaled sharply and felt like he was harder than he had been all night. He expected Kurt to run away as soon as he saw what Blaine was up to, but Kurt was still standing there, his eyes boring into Blaine's and Blaine could almost feel the cracking intensity of the moment. 

The guy didn't seem to notice the change in Blaine's breathing, heavier and sharper, or maybe he did and thought he was the reason but Blaine was still staring right at Kurt when his lips mouthed along a collarbone, he didn't look away when his hand reached down, his fingers slipping inside the guy's jeans, the way Kurt's eyes got darker when his gaze dropped to Blaine's hands, making Blaine’s breath catch in his throat. 

Kurt watched as Blaine’s hand slid under the waistband of the guy’s jeans, he watched how the guy responded immediately and arched his body into Blaine’s. He watched when the guy pulled back, seemingly to find Blaine’s lips and he watched Blaine not give him what he wanted and kiss along the column of his neck instead, which from the sounds the guy was making, he didn’t seem to mind. And Kurt watched Blaine’s eyes, the eyes that never left his, the eyes that he should be desperately avoiding right now but couldn’t. Blaine walked the guy backwards into the living room, closer to the kitchen where Kurt was leaning against the wall and in that moment Kurt almost left, because now things were too close but Blaine’s dark, blown out pupils were still on his, which rendered Kurt immobile. 

Blaine pushed the guy rather roughly in the chair that had its back facing the kitchen at the same time the guy tore Blaine’s shirt off. From Kurt’s viewpoint, he could see the muscles in Blaine’s back flex as his mouth roamed they guy’s chest and shoulders and Kurt couldn’t help lick his lips involuntarily and then bite his bottom one when Blaine refocused his eyes back to him. He couldn’t even deny he was turned on, how could he not be? He was basically watching soft core porn in his living room and the leading star wouldn’t take his eyes off of him. There were a thousand lines being crossed right then but that was for Kurt to worry about tomorrow, right now Blaine had him in some weird trance that he couldn’t break.

Blaine didn't remember the last time he was this turned on, like he could feel himself leaking in his pants as the guy pressed his whole body into Blaine's, Kurt hooded eyes following Blaine's every movement with utmost attention, mouth slightly open, face flushed. He was the hottest thing Blaine had ever laid his eyes on. He was looking at Blaine in a way that felt like he was the one touching him instead, his fingernails scratching all over his back not the guy’s whose name Blaine didn't care to remember. Blaine didn't know how he did that. With just one look. He didn't know how he did that to him but the crack that was split open the night at The Vine was growing even bigger because Blaine wasn't even denying to himself how much he wanted that to really happen. 

"God, you look so good like this..." 

The words were spoken into the crook of the guy's neck but Blaine's eyes didn't leave Kurt's, not even for a second. 

Kurt was surprised at how easy it was for him to forget that the other guy was there, that it wasn’t just him and Blaine and that thought in itself was very scary but he couldn’t bring himself to care when Blaine’s tongue was darting out of his mouth and his eyes were barring into his soul. When Blaine spoke to him, let’s face it they both knew who he was talking to, Kurt let out a shuttered breath. Blaine’s words radiated over Kurt’s body, creating goose bumps all over. Kurt trailed his fingers down his arm, almost imagining it was Blaine’s hand when he knocked over his empty water cup on the counter. The sound was deafening in that heated silence and Kurt’s eyes went wide and met Blaine’s equally wide eyes. It was like somebody had just turned on all the lights and said the party was over. Kurt heard the guy underneath Blaine ask what that was, Blaine held Kurt’s stare for a few more seconds more before whispering, “It was nothing” into the guy’s already bruised neck. Nothing. Kurt took that opportunity to run back upstairs to his room and shut the door.

He immediately grabbed his head phones, put them on and cranked his iPod up as he fell into bed. He didn’t want to hear anything further; he didn’t want to think about what had just happened. He didn’t want to close his eyes because when he did all he saw were Blaine’s staring back at him.

Blaine was still coming down from his high when the guy stood him up and pushed him up against the very wall Kurt had been leaning against seconds ago, trying to climb him like a tree. Only now Blaine wasn't enjoying his hands and mouth on him as much as he seemed to not long ago. It was so, so fucked up but Blaine still couldn't get the way Kurt's eyes set his heart racing, his blood thundering through his veins until he felt like he was burning up from the inside out. How did that happen? And why did Blaine like it so much? God, he was a fucking mess. 

He didn't even pretend to look apologetic when he kicked the guy out of the house, not even waiting for him to put on his shoes. It was probably a very assholish thing to do, considering the size of the guy's boner but it was literally the last thing Blaine wanted to deal with when his mind was running a mile a minute. He sank to the couch and took his head between his hands. There was no way he could face Kurt tonight. Or not any time soon. Not until he got a hold of what was going on with him. Not until he felt like he could look him in the eye and not hate himself for the thoughts that were crossing his mind. 

To Bas: Can I crash at yours?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry this update took a little longer than normal but hopefully the wait was worth it! Also we want to give a big shout out to our new beta Ancient Gleek! She has been a huge help and has helped us make our story even better!
> 
> Quick warning, in this chapter there is slight drug use (marijuana) if that bothers you, but it is strictly just used as a plot device to get them a little closer.
> 
> As always let us know what you think!

“You smile, and it’s like sunrise. Something inside me wakes up, stretching.”  
—B. Pavlik, Literary Sexts, Volume I

Blaine was warm and sleepy and very, very thirsty—which was probably why it took him so long to finally understand that no matter how far he blindly reached out, he wasn't going to find a glass of water on his bedside drawer because he wasn't in his own room; he was on Sebastian’s uncomfortable couch that was too short even for his compact body. He opened his eyes with a groan, a vague sense of something-not-right nagging his cloudy mind, pulling him to the surface. It took a couple minutes to register where he was and why he was there and…shit. What got into him last night? 

He rubbed his knuckles over his eyes and sank back into the couch, hiding his face under the pillow and letting out another groan when he remembered he had a Skype date with Jamie later that day. There was no way Jamie would take a look at his face and not suspect something was wrong, and there was no way Blaine would be able to lie to him if he asked. 

He needed to take a shower stat, have some coffee, deal with Sebastian, and find an excuse to cancel the Skype date. But more than that, he needed to get a grip and get over whatever the fuck was going on with him. Kurt was just a kid for god’s sake!

xxx

Kurt woke from a restless night’s sleep—a night filled with flashes of Adam’s face mixed with flashes of Jamie—both looking betrayed—and then those eyes, Blaine’s eyes, burning a hole right through his soul. He didn’t dare leave his room that night, for fear of walking in on something more with Blaine and that guy or, even worse, running into Blaine alone. He knew he couldn’t avoid Blaine forever, but he stayed in his bed until the morning sun beating in his window got too hot. He was stalling, trying to wrap his head around what had happened, to come up with an excuse, mostly for himself, as to why he stayed when there were so many reasons for him not to. He didn’t come up with much, nothing that really justified his behavior, anyway.

Kurt finally got up the courage to make the trip downstairs, to face Blaine and whatever that entailed, but the house seemed strangely quiet when he finally left his room. The door to Blaine’s room was still shut, and Kurt hoped he was just sleeping off his hangover—alone. Kurt made it to the kitchen and put a pot of coffee on as if everything was normal. As Kurt averted his eyes from the chair Blaine was in last night, he wondered if they would ever be able to really go back to “normal.”

xxx

To Blaine: So we need to get a one-cup coffee maker. I made a whole pot because I thought you were home. You're not :( so now I have to drink it all myself. Bad news.

To Kurt: Maybe that way you can sit through a movie without falling asleep on me.   
To Kurt: Or just without falling asleep really.

To Blaine: After a whole pot of coffee I can't sit through anything. I'm going to have to dance it off before I can start studying. Don't be jealous that you're not here for that. :p

To Kurt: Because I'm not there for you to bite my head off to help you relieve your stress? Oh yeah—just dying from jealousy here, little one.

To Blaine: No, I bite your head off because you lecture me like I'm a five year old. My stress reliever is dancing, and you know how awesome my dance moves are... Yours, though, could use some work.

Kurt’s like one of those songs that gets stuck in your head, and you can’t get it out no matter how hard you try. And there’s no “un-hear” app you can use to make yourself forget about it and replace it with a new song—or just dead air space. Sometimes having nothing going on in your mind can be a real blessing.

“It’s like you’re spending all your energy trying not to like the kid. He can’t really be that bad,” Sebastian provided, oh-so-helpfully when he saw Blaine scowling at his phone yet again. If only Sebastian knew how on point he was. Blaine just rolled his eyes in return and set his phone face down on the coffee table, leaving Kurt’s last text unanswered. 

xxx

To Blaine: Okay... So I could use one of those annoying lectures now. Midterms are in 3 days, and I can't concentrate. The house is too quiet.

To Kurt: Are you telling me you've missed me, babycakes?

To Blaine: Do I miss your constant nagging or the way you tell me to turn down my music or the way you criticize my study habits? Don't flatter yourself.  
To Blaine: Okay... Maybe just a little bit.

To Kurt: Why don't you ask Puck to keep you company? Looks like I'll be here for a while longer. Got stuff to do with Bas. 

To Blaine: Quinn has Noah on lockdown until after midterms. But yeah, okay, I'll figure out something. Maybe just more coffee. Have fun with Bas.

Kurt dropped his phone on the bed and ran his fingers through his hair that he’d hardly bothered with for the past two days. His mind just kept running in the same loop over and over, chasing all the possible reasons Blaine had left and why he wasn’t coming back. Focusing on his studies seemed more and more unlikely. He should be studying for his calc midterm or memorizing his sociology notes, but he couldn’t because Blaine chose to forget about what happened a couple nights ago by staying at Sebastian’s, which was making it that much harder for Kurt to forget about it. A nagging text from Blaine just wasn’t the same as Blaine “motivating” him in person.

xxx

After losing the fifth game to Sebastian, Blaine threw the controller across the room, wincing slightly when it landed on Sebastian's reading glasses on the coffee table. Sebastian took a deep breath and got up from the floor where they’d been camping out for the last three hours, his eyes resting on Blaine and a serious expression on his face. 

"You need to get out. No, don't give me that look. Call Jamie. Get drunk. Go ride that bike of yours. But just get out of here, Blaine." 

Blaine shook his head and got to his feet, scowling when he met Sebastian's eyes. 

"I'll buy you new glasses." 

"I don't give a fuck about the glasses. You've been here for five days and, yes, I'm fucking glad we could work on our project, but you need to remember you have a life to get back to." 

Sebastian's eyes softened when he saw Blaine scrunching his face into a frown at the mention of going back. 

"He isn't really your brother, you know. You don't have to fight him like he is." 

Blaine gave Sebastian a puzzled look in return, his heart skipping a beat at what Sebastian might be implying. But then he remembered that the reason he’d given Sebastian for crashing at his place was that he wanted some peace of mind because Kurt was being a little shit and driving him crazy—which was true in more ways than one. 

And it wasn't that he didn't want to go back home. God knew he did. It was weird waking up and not having a pot of coffee ready for him or not listening to Kurt's endearingly serious commentary while watching the news. Okay, maybe he missed Kurt just a little bit, too. But he was also a little too nervous about the possibility of things being awkward between them, and he didn't want to risk it when he still had dreams about that night and felt like shit afterwards. But Sebastian was right; he did need to go back—if for no other reason than he’ made a promise to Jamie, and not being there when Kurt obviously needed him meant he was failing to keep that promise. 

xxx

He made a pit stop at Cartel Coffee and picked up two large coffees and some chocolate chip cookies; after all, if Kurt was going to drink himself to death, it should at least be done with good coffee. And cookies were just his way of saying, "I do know I was an asshole, but I hope you won't mention it this time."

The house was eerily quiet when he walked in. A blanket draped over the couch, with Kurt's pillow and eye mask on top of it, and an empty mug on the coffee table were the only signs that someone was actually living there. It was only when Blaine climbed the stairs and was standing in front of Kurt's room that he could hear the faint sound of “I See Fire” coming from inside. Normally he would have just knocked halfheartedly and then barged in when he knew Kurt was studying, but this time he wasn't sure if he was allowed the same casualness. So he knocked on the door, tightened his grip on the coffee bag and tried not to freak out about the fact that he was going to have to look Kurt in the eyes for the first time after the night. 

Kurt was startled out of trying to make sense of his calculus homework when he heard a knock. It was Blaine's knock, a little less loud than normal, but Kurt knew who it was. However, when Blaine didn't just come in, he thought he must just be imagining things. Still, Kurt stuck his pencil behind his ear and went to his door. Blaine was standing there, looking exhausted judging by his slouched body language and disheveled appearance, but Kurt couldn't be sure because Blaine's eyes were glued to the coffee in his hands, not on Kurt. The second Kurt saw Blaine his mind flipped back to five nights earlier when they couldn't look anywhere but into each other's eyes. But that was five days ago, five long days when Blaine didn't come home. Now he was here, and Kurt didn't know what to feel.

Kurt wanted to hug him. He had this almost uncontrollable desire to jump into Blaine’s arms, which was something new. Kurt realized he must’ve missed him more than he thought after all. So he just stood there, unable to keep the smile off his face when Blaine ventured a tiny glance at him without saying a word, and with just a slight shrug of his shoulders.

"If that isn't a nonfat mocha and double chocolate chip cookies I won't accept your apology. If it is, then you're a lifesaver because I’ve been living off of Folgers and stale Oreos."

Blaine couldn't help the frown that formed on his face when Kurt mentioned living off only coffee and store-bought cookies—the familiar instinct to take care of Kurt forcing his eyes to wander, giving Kurt a thorough once-over. He shook his head disapprovingly when he spotted the dark circles under Kurt's eyes and the way his sweatpants were hanging dangerously low on his hips.

"Are you trying to starve yourself? Couldn't you make some grilled cheese or at least—I don't know—peanut butter and jelly? Hell, we're basically living across from a Dominos. You know how to use a phone, right? Jesus, Kurt, I wasn't even gone fo—"

Blaine's ranting, which he only realized was ranting now that he wasn't anymore, ended abruptly when he saw the amused look on Kurt's face, his lower lip between his teeth—probably to keep himself from grinning like the idiot he was—his cheeks growing pink, and his eyes squeezing into little crescents of mirth. Blaine’s lips curled into a small smile, and he ducked his head, half in embarrassment, half in surprise at how naturally he fell into the familiar easiness with Kurt the moment he saw him. His voice was uncharacteristically soft when he spoke. 

"Hey." 

Kurt released the grin he’d been holding back when Blaine ducked his head and smiled that uncharacteristically shy smile. Yeah, he’d definitely missed him. As he took one of the coffees, Kurt’s fingertips brushed across the back of his hand, causing Blaine's head to snap up. Caught by the flecks of gold in Blaine’s eyes, which seemed to have doubled since he last saw them, Kurt decided to stop overthinking everything. He threw himself into Blaine and hugged him tight.

"Hi," Kurt finally answered.

Blaine reached around Kurt's waist and started to hug him almost as if he was on autopilot. Having an armful of Kurt was the last thing he expected to happen when he came back home, but Kurt was pulling him closer and closer until Kurt was flat against him. Blaine was incapable of doing anything else but hugging him back; he wrapped his arms around Kurt more tightly, tilting his head slightly to the side as Kurt leaned in, breathing deeply into the crook of Blaine’s neck. 

It was weird, but it was good weird; he wanted time to stop so he could relish the moment a little more because he was feeling light on his feet, like everything that had been making him worry had disappeared from his mind. It was nice holding someone, breathing his smell in, feeling his fast-beating heart against yours. Blaine always loved his bro hugs with Jamie, and he only now realized how badly he had been in need of one. Giving good hugs obviously ran in the family because Kurt definitely was giving as good as he got, and Blaine savored the moment to the fullest. 

His subconscious started to kick in after several minutes passed, and Kurt still didn't let go, his warm breath on Blaine's neck creating goose bumps on his arms. He gave Kurt's side a squeeze and untangled himself from his embrace, curling his lips into a smirk when he pulled back to meet his eyes, his voice teasing but happy. 

"Okay, okay—sorry for not being here to make you warm milk and tuck you in before you sleep. I forgot how it is with you kids." 

Kurt grabbed the bag with the cookies in it and pushed Blaine playfully in the chest before sitting on the floor by his bed. He took a long sip of the coffee, closing his eyes as the mocha flavor filled his mouth. He took a big bite of one of the cookies, smiling up at Blaine as he chewed the gooey goodness.

With his mouth still pursed as he chased the crumbs from his lips, he gave Blaine a mock glare as he declared, "You realize you’ve set a precedent; now every time you leave, you’ll owe me cookies and coffee."

Blaine copied Kurt's movements and sat down across from him on the floor, sipping at his coffee. 

"Is that so? You're talking like me leaving you alone is a bad thing..." 

He quirked an eyebrow and took a bit of the cookie Kurt was holding in his hand, grinning at the way Kurt narrowed his eyes, giving Blaine his bitchiest glare. 

Kurt stuffed the rest of the cookie in his mouth, giving Blaine a cocky smile. 

"Well...I kind of got used to your incessant nagging, but...hey, if I get these cookies every time it's not so bad."

Kurt sassily winked at Blaine, but the returning soft smile caught him off guard, and he suddenly became way more interested in the top of his coffee cup.

Blaine drank the rest of his coffee and cleared his throat loudly because if there was something they didn't do, it was awkward silences. Blaine picked up his empty coffee cup and got up from the floor, pointing in the general direction of Kurt's messy desk as he walked towards the door.

"Okay, I'm leaving you to it so you won't blame me for distracting you if you get a C minus or something."

Kurt watched Blaine walk towards the door.

"Movie later? I could use a nap."

Blaine nodded absentmindedly and closed the door behind him, releasing the breath he felt like he'd been holding in since the moment he saw Kurt. He needed to snap out of this fucking phase or whatever it was, and he needed to do it quick. Things were going to be awkward as long as he let them, and he had no intention of letting that happen. 

Blaine dug out a half-full cereal box from the back of a kitchen cupboard and reached in, digging to the bottom for the baggie that was taped there. He took the stash, sighing a bit as he mentally acknowledged that it was supposed to be kept safe until Jamie’s first visit home when they would celebrate together. Knowing Jamie would understand (as long as it was replaced before then), he grabbed a lighter from the counter, walked into the living room, and sank down on the couch. Blaine flipped the channels until he found something to provide some background noise, held the joint to his lips, and flicked at the lighter with one hand. As the flame caught, he inhaled, sucking in a steady breath until the end of the joint was glowing, and a thin stream of smoke was curling up and fading into the room. 

He held his breath for a while before exhaling a mouthful of smoke, feeling the high coming towards him in waves, engulfing him slowly, almost cozily. He felt warmer, lighter—and that was exactly what he needed. Kurt, doing the right thing, doing the wrong thing, school, Jamie—all of it was out of his mind, and so was stress. Blaine thought maybe this was a healthier way to relax than fucking his entire phone contact list, and less messy, too. 

Kurt rubbed eyes that had been staring at his computer screen for far too long. Still, since Blaine had finally come home and things felt okay between them, he felt he could finally concentrate better and, after a couple hours of studying he felt like he wasn't completely hopeless. He walked downstairs, telling himself he just needed a break—he definitely wasn’t looking for Blaine, of course—when a distinct smell caught in his nose; he looked around for the party he apparently hadn't been invited to when he noticed Blaine sitting alone on the couch. Kurt walked slowly in front of the couch, looking at Blaine curiously as their eyes met.

"So…uh, having a relaxing day are we?"

Blaine cracked open his eyes and raised an eyebrow at Kurt, smiling lazily when Kurt blushed, eyes darting away in embarrassment at being caught staring. It was adorable. Blaine grinned.

“Done with studying? Are you smarter now?" Blaine asked, voice low and words slurring a bit. 

Kurt laughed under his breath. He’d never seen Blaine so relaxed, with his guard down like it was now, like he didn’t have a million worries running through his head the way he usually did. Kurt thought back—maybe a couple times with Jamie here—but Blaine's demeanor always changed as soon as Kurt came into the picture; so this was a nice change of pace. Kurt couldn't help but smile when Blaine grinned at him in that lazy way as he sat next to him on the couch.

Kurt had never tried smoking, and it wasn't something he sought out; it was just something he was curious about ever since the first party when Blaine decided to be a party pooper. Kurt just wanted to try it once, get the full college experience, just to know what a high felt like, and mark it off his bucket list. Besides, god knows he could use something to relieve his stress from time to time. He nudged Blaine with his shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm like a genius now. So...Noah was right; you did have a stash somewhere. His money was in the cabinet with the cleaning supplies; my money was in some locked safe hidden in your room with an encrypted password." 

Blaine chuckled as he turned, bringing his legs up and sitting Indian-style to face Kurt, watching his face appraisingly. He stayed like that for nearly a minute, taking another hit off the joint. Then he shook his head, a playful smile gracing his lips.

"Wroong. Try the box of Fruit Loops. Safest place in the house because you hate them." 

He rested his head against the back of the couch, smiling big like he was actually pleased with himself for coming up with the idea. 

"See...who’s the genius now?" 

Kurt rolled his eyes—partly because Blaine was being far too cocky over his admittedly clever hiding place, and partly because he was acting as if he thought he actually needed to hide it from Kurt. At that realization Kurt frowned just slightly and turned to face Blaine more fully.

"You know...even if I had found it, I would have never gone behind your back."

Blaine frowned when he saw Kurt do the same; he reached out to touch Kurt's forehead, dragging his fingers down, pressing them into Kurt's brows until he felt them relax beneath his fingertips. 

"I know that," he mumbled, his eyes focusing intensely on Kurt's now relaxed face. 

"Do you...?" 

Blaine’s gaze dropped to the joint he was holding between his fingers, biting his lip as if debating internally before returning his gaze to Kurt's face. 

"Do you want to try?"

Kurt's eyes went wide at Blaine's question, raising an eyebrow that was still tingling from his touch.

"R-really?"

Blaine nodded, bringing the joint to his lips and taking a hit. He blew gently against Kurt's face, puffing out a perfect ring of smoke before exhaling the rest. He licked his lips and handed Kurt the half-smoked joint.

"Yeah. Here." 

Kurt took the joint tentatively, looking at it and then back to Blaine, worrying his lip between his teeth. He hated that he was so clueless, nervous even, and he hated it even more that it would probably just give Blaine more of a reason to call him a kid. 

"Um...do I just...I mean does it..."

Kurt shrugged and chuckled nervously.

"Okay...I have no fucking clue what I'm doing."

Blaine smiled a lopsided smile and grabbed Kurt's wrist, his leg brushing against Kurt's as he scooted closer, smiling at the way Kurt's hand was trembling slightly. 

"Want some help?" 

Kurt looked into Blaine's eyes innocently, speaking quietly. "Maybe..."

Blaine nodded shortly, his eyes darting down to Kurt’s lips, tongue flicking out to lick across his own almost unconsciously. 

"Okay. Here’s what we’ll do. I'm going to take a drag from the joint and then exhale the smoke into your mouth. It'll be like, uh…well it'll be like I’ll be sharing my breath with you, but, um, not really..." 

He waited for Kurt to nod his head yes; then he slowly but surely guided Kurt’s hand to his lips and took a drag from the joint still held in Kurt’s fingers, wrapping his hand around Kurt’s. It was oddly intimate, the way Kurt didn't look away, the way he looked into Blaine's eyes, the way his breath hitched in his throat when Blaine cupped his other hand around the back of Kurt's head, pressing gently, drawing him closer. 

There was the briefest hesitation before Kurt closed the distance with determination, hooking an arm around Blaine's neck, eyes slipping closed as their lips brushed against each other. 

Blaine exhaled into Kurt’s mouth, pushing smoke all the way into his lungs, his lips tingling from where they touched Kurt's.   
It all happened so quickly—Blaine taking a drag from the joint, Blaine gently but firmly cupping the back of his head, the almost magnetic feeling as their faces inched closer, and the way Blaine's lips looked plump and slightly chapped just before Kurt's eyes fluttered closed.

Kurt closed his mouth after Blaine had exhaled the smoke, brushing his lips against Blaine's. He kept his eyes closed for a second, feeling the smoke fill his lungs, and he wondered if after just one hit his heart should be beating as fast as it was.

He exhaled slowly, watching with fascination as wisps of smoke trailed from his lips. "Wow. I, uh…thanks. That was probably way less embarrassing than inhaling wrong and choking to death."

Blaine chuckled softly and curled his arm around Kurt's waist when he dropped his head to Blaine's shoulder, probably caught in the rush of his first hit.

"Want to try it by yourself now? It isn't that different from what we just did." 

Kurt was feeling lightheaded, staring at Blaine with hooded eyes, as he experienced the rush of his first high. He lifted his head, which felt strangely heavy, from Blaine's shoulder, thinking a while before cautiously nodding his head. He switched the joint to his left hand and brought it up to his mouth as he wrapped his right hand around the back of Blaine's neck. He took a slow drag and inhaled deeply, bringing Blaine's face closer to his, watching as his lips parted automatically. Kurt shuddered slightly as their lips touched; he closed his eyes and exhaled the smoke into Blaine's mouth, pressing their lips together more firmly to prevent any of the smoke from escaping. 

Blaine let out a silent gasp when their lips met, totally taken off guard when Kurt pulled him closer and breathed into his mouth. This wasn't what he had in mind when he’d asked Kurt if he wanted to give it a try himself, but he most definitely was not complaining. 

He kept his lips pressed against Kurt's for an extra few seconds this time, his hand sliding inside Kurt's t-shirt, fingers brushing against his warm skin. When Kurt parted his lips, 

Blaine slid his tongue into his mouth, stroking it along Kurt's as he finally inhaled the smoke into his lungs; his fingernails lightly pressing into Kurt’s flesh. Fuck, he was dizzy; his head was spinning, and it wasn't even from the high. His body was having the wrong kind of reaction to their proximity, and he didn't like the weird feeling in his stomach that shouldn't have been there. But he just wanted—he wanted so bad it almost hurt to breathe when he finally pulled back, exhaling against Kurt's lips. 

Kurt breathed out, feeling the slight burn in his throat from the smoke, but his skin felt more on fire where Blaine was touching him. When he opened his eyes, it felt like things were moving in slow motion—from the way Blaine dragged his tongue along his bottom lip to the way he dropped his hand from Blaine's neck, dragging it slowly down Blaine's arm and feeling the bicep flex beneath his fingers. If this was what getting high felt like, Kurt could see how it could get addicting.

"How'd I do?"

Blaine tightened his grip around Kurt's waist, instinctively pulling him closer, his mind cloudy and his eyes hooded as he pulled Kurt half on top of his lap. He gazed at Kurt's face then, first at the way his cheeks flushed a beautiful tone of pink, then down at his lips, now glistening with Blaine's saliva. He looked mouthwatering. Blaine brought the hand that wasn't caressing Kurt's side up to his face, fingertips brushing across Kurt’s cheek and jaw line. Blaine followed the movement of his fingers across that silky surface almost in fascination. 

"Perfect," he whispered into the tiny space between their faces, his thumb tracing Kurt's lower lip. 

"So perfect." 

Kurt's head felt a little foggy, and now was definitely not the time for Blaine to be guiding his thumb across Kurt's lips and looking him in the eyes as he said things like "perfect." How did this keep happening every time they were near each other? It was as if everything they did was by instinct or reflex—when none of this should have felt this easy. Kurt wasn't thinking clearly, or at least his brain was a couple minutes behind his body, because when he placed his hand on Blaine's thigh, it felt good to the touch, not wrong like his brain was now relaying. His heart was beating with excitement as he started to lean in, fucking leaning in towards Blaine's lips, but that’s when his brain short-circuited on him. Blaine's lips weren't his to kiss for so many reasons, but the one reason that was becoming a mantra in his mind at the moment was Adam. 

Kurt stopped himself mere inches away from Blaine's lips and opened his eyes wide, noticing Blaine's were closed, his face relaxed and simply beautiful. Kurt must have paused too long because Blaine's eyes fluttered open, and Kurt let out a choked whisper; this time his brain taking charge before his body could do what it wanted to.

"A-Adam's coming to visit this weekend."

Kurt's head fell to his chest, his body immediately protesting when Blaine dropped his hands away and shifted his body to create more space between them.  
Blaine bit his lip hard to hold back a whine that was trying to escape his lips and clenched his fists in his lap. He didn't know what the fuck was wrong with him, but he felt like having Kurt's lips on his or touching him in any way was a physical necessity—but this was something, as Kurt had just reminded him, that he had to do without. 

He took a deep breath and pressed his forehead against Kurt's, not pushing for anything else, just keeping it pressed against Kurt's, as they breathed in sync, closing their eyes and letting themselves just be for a moment. He felt good, too—settled, grounded—but not enough—and Blaine was afraid it would never be enough. The pull was still there—god was it ever—but with the shadow of Adam and so many other things that were left unsaid engulfing them, Blaine made himself pull back from the almost-trance they both seemed to be in. 

"You should uh..." 

He turned away, putting his feet back on the floor, and rested his head on the back of the couch, glancing at Kurt with an unreadable expression on his face. 

"You should go get some sleep." 

Kurt looked at the clock; it was only nine, definitely not bed-time, but he knew that wasn’t what Blaine was really saying. He was telling Kurt to go, subtly, acknowledging the mistake they had just avoided. They would blame it on the weed, which actually was probably partly to blame. Just the same, the feeling in the pit of Kurt’s stomach when Blaine was around was there when he showed up at his bedroom door this afternoon, and it was there now. It apparently wasn't going anywhere soon, if at all.

Kurt sighed and nodded, placing a hand on Blaine's leg as he stood up.

"Y-yeah. Right. This…uh…made me tired."

Blaine was staring at the ceiling, not risking a glance in Kurt's direction as he passed in front of him. Kurt couldn't tell what he was thinking; he never knew unless he could read his eyes, and as he made his way to the stairs, he just hoped Blaine wasn’t thinking of leaving again because of what he’d just said about Adam. Kurt could handle avoiding the subject of whatever was going on, but he didn't want to deal with an empty house again. He stopped at the base of the stairs, touching his lips with his fingers.

"Thanks for letting me try that. I…uh…I liked it even if it was just this once."

Blaine threw a quick glance at Kurt's way, his eyes darkening when he saw Kurt touch his lips the same way Blaine had done just minutes ago; he squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't, shouldn't, let himself wonder if Kurt was really only talking about smoking, but he did anyway. Like his own fucked-up-ness wasn't enough, he was dragging Kurt down with him, and he wasn't sure if he could stop. 

"Just go to your room, Kurt." 

And there it was, the final dismissive comment from Blaine, ensuring that this would never be talked about again, almost like it never happened at all. And maybe that was for the best. Kurt wasn't sure what he was trying to say, or at least he didn't want to admit what he was trying to say, and Blaine obviously didn't want to hear it. He hated it when Blaine told him what to do or not do, and he hated when Blaine was right. So Kurt just sighed heavily and dragged his feet up the stairs. Come to think of it, he was pretty exhausted.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all knew it was inevitable... the boyfriend. So be prepared for some angst, be prepared for Adam and hopefully something unexpected. This was fun chapter to write so we would love to hear your feedback. And again thank you so much to our beta for making it even better!!

“There is a primal reassurance in being touched, in knowing that someone else, someone close to you, wants to be touching you. There is a bone-deep security that goes with the brush of human hand, a silent, reflex-level affirmation that someone is near, that someone cares.”

—Jim Butcher, _White Knight_

 

Kurt sat at the kitchen table alone, tearing off pieces of his pop tart and letting them fall to his plate with no real intention of eating them while he alternated between glancing at his watch and at the stairs. It was too early on a Thursday for him to be so wound up, but he was a ball of nerves over two different people who shouldn’t even be making him nervous in the first place. At least in a perfect, non-complicated world they shouldn’t, but Kurt most definitely did not live in that world.

As the minutes ticked by Kurt became more and more nervous about picking up his boyfriend from the airport, which was an odd feeling because at one time Adam was one of the few people with whom he actually felt comfortable. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen Adam these past three months since they’d scheduled Skype dates every week, but if felt as if in the last couple of weeks these had become more of an obligation. Kurt was hoping that one look at Adam when he finally saw him in person would make everything go back to how it used to be—that somehow, miraculously everything would become simple again. But he was so afraid ‘simple’ just wasn’t possible anymore.

Nervous or not, Kurt was still excited. Excited to be in Adam’s arms again, excited to bring him into this new life he had started to make for himself, excited for him to meet the people in his life who had quickly become like family—including Blaine.

Blaine. Blaine was the other cause of Kurt’s anxiety as was evident when his eyes would jolt to the stairs at every sound he heard in the otherwise silent house. They hadn’t spoken since the previous night, and Kurt hadn’t forgotten what had happened—despite his wish that in the morning it would all be some weed-induced dream he would forget seconds after daylight seeped into his room. The question was—did he _really_ want to forget?

Kurt sighed with one last glance towards the stairs and flipped the coffee maker off before grabbing his keys and heading out the door. He started his car with a weight in his chest that he couldn’t explain. He wasn’t sure what he expected; he knew deep down that they wouldn’t talk about the ‘almost’ kiss, they wouldn’t talk about how Blaine traced Kurt’s lips with a slightly shaky hand, and they wouldn’t mention the moment they took, heads pressed together, just feeling the energy course between their bodies.

But with Blaine not coming down for his usual morning cup of coffee, Kurt didn’t know what to think. Were they okay? Would they fall back into their bantering camaraderie as easily as they had in the past? Was Blaine still a flight risk? Would he take off again if things got uncomfortable or heavy? How would he react to Adam’s presence—or would he even be there when they returned from the airport? Could they avoid letting anything like the previous night happen again? With all these questions running through his head, Kurt didn’t even realize he was driving into the arrivals lane at Sky Harbor until a grinning Adam came into view.

Adam's steps faltered slightly when Kurt got out of his car and walked to the passenger door, leaning against it so casually, arms crossed, with an easy smile on his face that Adam had badly missed. He wasn't terribly disappointed that Kurt didn't just jump into his arms as soon as he let himself out the doors because it gave him time to calm his nerves—which should have already been calm in the first place. This wasn't a first date, after all; Kurt was already his boyfriend, had been for almost two years, and there was nothing they didn't already know about each other. But Adam had forgotten how the sight of Kurt would make his stomach tighten, his heart beat faster, and his breath catch in his throat. Maybe it was the distance, or maybe it was the three months they’d spent apart from each other, but Adam almost felt like a stranger admiring someone who wasn’t actually his to admire.

He quickened his pace when Kurt quirked an eyebrow, uncrossing his arms to wave at Adam, as if it was possible for Adam to miss him, as if he didn't know the way Adam's eyes always would find him no matter where they were or who they were with.

He whistled softly when he finally stood in front of Kurt, checking him out in an exaggerated way that made Kurt giggle. He’d missed that sound, too—almost as much as he’d missed the sight and feel of him.

"Fancy seeing you here," he said softly as he hooked a finger in Kurt's belt loop and pulled him in, his smile growing bigger when Kurt wrapped his arms around him tight, as if maybe he’d really missed Adam, too—because lately Adam hadn’t really been sure.

Kurt smiled against the soft scruff on his boyfriend’s cheek when Adam didn’t waste any time, wrapping both arms around Kurt’s waist and pulling him even closer. Kurt always loved how Adam was a possessive hugger, as if the way he staked his claim was to hug you with his whole body, just a little tighter than the average hug. Adam had never been one for blatant PDA; he was always too worried about what people would think or do, but his hugs were epic. But as Kurt laughed into the crook of Adam’s neck, he found it a little strange to have to stretch up to nuzzle into the curve of Adam’s long neck. Maybe it was just because the few times he’d really hugged anyone lately, it had been Blaine—and it was Blaine who seemed to fit perfectly in the space between Kurt’s neck and shoulder. Kurt pulled back from Adam at that thought and kissed him quickly before grabbing his bags from the curb.

“Glad to see some things don’t change; your hugs will always be my favorite. Now c’mon—I don’t want to waste one more second of our weekend together by hanging around an airport; I have so much to show you!”

Adam spent the car ride to Kurt's place—which was kind of weird in itself because he would always picture the Hummel home in Chicago as ‘Kurt’s place’—by filling Kurt in about what everyone had been up to since he left, how much everyone missed him, how much _he_ missed him, and how college wasn't what he’d hoped for and maybe not everyone should go to college anyway.

Kurt murmured his agreement at the appropriate places and smiled when necessary, but other than that he was quiet, focusing intently on the road and biting his lower lip the way he always did when he was nervous.

Adam noticed the old habit, but he didn't know the reason; he just hoped he wasn't it. Maybe that was why he was talking nonstop, filling any potentially awkward silence with some other news. He took Kurt's hand over the console and let out a quiet sigh of relief when Kurt interlocked their fingers.

"Look at you. You sure know your way around here. You're already acting like you belong here, huh?"

He didn't know why he sounded a tiny bit accusatory, squeezing Kurt's fingers instinctively as soon as the words left his lips.   
  
Kurt looked over at Adam with a questioning look, not really understanding what Adam meant before he turned back to the road in silence. When people would ask him where he was from, he would always reply Chicago and that he was just here for school. But lately, when he thought of home, he didn’t picture the house he and Jamie grew up in or the two-bedroom condo they moved into when his mom died. If he thought about it hard enough, even the idea of feeling at home at Adam’s family’s house where he’d spent most of his time in high school seemed an almost distant memory. But as the warm breeze hit his arm, which was hanging out the open driver’s side window as he pulled up to the house he shared with Blaine and, in some ways, even Jamie, he felt a strong sense of home—as if this was now the place he belonged. The realization was shocking to Kurt because he hadn’t expected to feel like this so soon—or ever—and he didn’t know when that had changed. He parked the car and looked over at Adam, noticing the worry he was hiding behind his smile. Kurt gave his hand one more gentle squeeze before letting it go and putting the car in park.

“I guess the place _has_ kind of grown on me, but now that you here it’s perfect.”

As Kurt said the word “perfect,” his eyes drifted unconsciously over Adam’s shoulder to Blaine’s bike parked on the other side of his car before drifting back to Adam, just in time to receive a sweet kiss.

Adam bit his lip to keep himself from whining when Kurt pulled back from the kiss. Still, he followed him out of the car with a smile plastered on his face, raising an eyebrow when Kurt moved to take his duffel back from the back.

"Leave it to me, babe. I snuck some of Dad's wine bottles in it. It's heavy as shit."

Kurt shook his head playfully and handed the bag to Adam as he resolved not to mention the amount of alcohol that was probably in their house at any given time or to remind him of the fact that he had a fake ID; so sneaking alcohol was now a high school memory. Kurt noticed his palms were getting sweaty—and not from the weather—as he reached for the door handle into their house. Just knowing that Blaine was home made his nerves return; he hadn't really thought about the fact that he would actually have to _introduce_ Adam to Blaine. He turned toward Adam before he opened the door, wanting to explain the dynamic of his living situation, but he quickly found he couldn't even explain it himself.

"So Blaine is home. That was his bike outside. So…um…He’s kind of like Jamie... But not really... He kind of acts like a big brother type but…um…not really... You'll like him though; everyone likes him..."

Kurt sighed when Adam looked at him like he was talking gibberish and tried to recover from his rambling with a big smile and a wink.

"Anyway... Let's get you up to my room."

Blaine looked up from his laptop once he heard the front door open, rising slightly on the couch so he could take a peek at the newcomers. Kurt was in his skinny, white jeans—because, yeah, why make Blaine's life easier—and some blond guy with his arm draped possessively across Kurt’s shoulders, holding him much more closely than seemed necessary—and, yeah, he just _had_ to be even taller than Kurt, didn’t he?—was looking around with searching eyes like people would do when they visit a new place. If Blaine had thought universe was done messing with him, he was so damn wrong because the boy, looking like he just stepped out of a fashion magazine, Kurt's _boyfriend_ , hadn’t even uttered a single word, and Blaine already disliked him severely. This was his life now—fucking high school musical.

But Blaine didn't spare the blond a second glance as his eyes found Kurt's over the back of the couch, taking in the way his eyes widened in surprise and the way his lips parted. Blaine held Kurt’s eyes without blinking until he not-so-subtly peeled himself from the body around him, smiling at the boy when he looked at Kurt questioningly.

Blaine got up from the couch, stretched his arms as he leaned up on tiptoes slightly, and schooled his features into a welcoming expression when the stranger’s eyes finally met his. He held his hand out, wearing a small smile on his face.

"Hey, man. Welcome to the Valley of the Sun. I'm Blaine."

Adam reached out and shook Blaine's hand quickly and firmly before dropping his hand back down by his side, expecting Kurt's hand to be there, but it wasn't, at least not until he looked at Kurt with searching eyes, and they interlocked fingers.

"Adam. And thanks. I'm just excited to finally be where Kurt is, but the weather is a plus."

Kurt pulled Adam farther into the house, in an attempt to break up what was promising to be a riveting conversation about the weather, complete with fake smiles. He took him into the kitchen, immediately going into the fridge to grab Adam a Dr. Pepper, which Kurt had stocked especially for him.

“Oh… uh… I gave up soda like a month ago. I could go for a sparkling water though, if you have one.”

Kurt looked at Adam with a questioning look and gave him filtered water as a compromise, frowning slightly at the change he had missed. Kurt’s tendency to guilt-trip himself as far as Adam was concerned quickly returned. How could he not know even the simplest thing about his own boyfriend?

Blaine came up behind Kurt, grabbed the can of soda from the counter, and poured it into a glass along with a shot of vodka, smirking at Kurt as he took a drink. Kurt smiled back before turning to Adam, who seemed a little confused by the looks he and Blaine were sharing.

"Well, I hope you still drink coffee because that’s sort of a morning ritual around here."

Adam nodded and set his glass of flat, non-sparkling water on the table, pulling out a chair and sitting down as he did so.

"Haven't been able to shake that bad habit since our first coffee date. So who’s the barista of the house then?” Looking at Blaine, he added, “Coffee used to be the only thing Kurt would never let me make him."

Blaine took a generous sip from his glass, licking his lips as he leaned back against the counter, eyes on Adam as he curled his lips into a private smile.

"I haven't touched our coffee maker since Kurt got here."

Blaine smiled behind his glass when Kurt ducked his head, a blush spreading along the back of his neck. Blaine caught his eyes when Kurt returned his smile.

"I don't know how he does it, but his coffee is kind of addicting," he added.

Kurt wanted to share that the reason he didn't let Adam make him coffee was because he was awful at it, but he didn't want to make Adam feel more uncomfortable. Still, he made a mental note to tell Blaine how he forced himself to convert to tea for almost a full year whenever he was around Adam, but then would secretly binge drink a large non-fat mocha with an extra shot from his favorite espresso shop on his way home to curb his cravings.

"It's because Jamie forced me into servitude at a young age. I could make smiley faces in my latte foam by the time I was nine."

Kurt kissed the top of Adam's head when he noticed the frown on his face as he looked between Blaine and Kurt as if he was missing something.

"C'mon, babe; the best part of the house is yet to come," he said as took Adam’s hand and pulled him from the chair.

Blaine turned around so he wouldn't have to see what Kurt was going to do in response to the shamelessly smoldering look Adam gave him. He poured himself some more vodka and downed it at one go; his grip on the glass was so tight his knuckles were turning white. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand and set the glass down on the counter, absently noting with relief that he didn’t slam it hard enough to break it.

"And I need to go meet Quinn. See you guys at The Vine tonight."

He didn't look at Kurt or acknowledge Adam as he walked out of the kitchen, grabbing his phone from the couch and taking quick, long strides until he was out of the house. He could only breathe more easily after he’d hopped on his bike, twisted the throttle and the bike roared to life. The rumble between his legs was the only thing that felt reassuring.

xxx

Kurt pulled a nervous looking Adam towards the entrance to The Vine, assuring him the whole way there that he knew the bouncer, who was friends with Blaine and Jamie, and that they would get in with no problem. When Kurt flashed his fake I.D. to Gabriel, he just nodded and smiled reassuringly at the nervous Adam before ushering them through the door. Kurt laughed at Adam’s loud sigh of relief as they entered the bar, like he’d just robbed a bank and gotten away with it or something. He reached for his hand and led him towards the table where everyone had already gathered. Quinn was already out of her seat and jumping into Kurt’s arms before they made it halfway to the table.

“Kurt! I thought you were keeping your boy toy away from us—afraid we’ll embarrass you or something?”

Kurt kissed Quinn on the cheek before letting her go.

“No, no just got caught up. I’ve been telling Adam for weeks how much I wanted him to meet you guys. So—uh, Quinn, this is Adam. Adam, Quinn.”

Adam smiled that half crooked smile that everyone pretty much fell in love with and was whisked away by Quinn, leaving Kurt to trail behind as they met up with everyone at the table. Kurt reached the table just as everyone was starting in with the third degree about why they were late.

“Kind of you to drag yourself out of bed for a drink, Hummel. I was beginning to think you’d be going at it all weekend. I was about to offer Blaine my couch again…or ear plugs.”

“Dude, my bro has gone without for, like _months_ , pure torture! Of course he’s going to jump Adam the first chance he gets.”

“What, Freckle Face? Not even a nice big hickey to show off for making us wait? If I had to go without gettin’ some for more than a couple days, I don’t think we’d even leave the bedroom!”

“Aww, you guys’re making Adam blush; he’s almost as cute as Kurt with those red cheeks.”

Kurt was sure his blush matched Adam’s as everyone was speculating about why they were late, even if their assumptions were wrong. Kurt had taken Adam up to his room for that very reason. Noah was right; it _was_ pure torture going without all these months, and even more difficult these last couple of weeks.

But when Kurt pushed Adam into his bedroom with every intention of throwing him on the bed, Adam’s attention went to the open door to his bathroom, and he could see all the way to the open door to Blaine’s room. This had been one of the first details Kurt had shared with Adam when he moved—including how upset he was about having to share a bathroom. It actually turned out to be not so bad; he and Blaine had even worked out a little bedtime ritual.

However, when Kurt inserted this little anecdote, Adam’s concerned look turned into a frown, and he made a comment about how he and Blaine might as well be sharing a room. Kurt didn’t know why Adam was making such a big deal about something Kurt had no control over, but this wasn’t something he wanted to fight about, especially not now. So Kurt shut Adam up with a kiss and shut both doors before practically dragging him to the bed. After a couple of kisses behind Adam’s ear, he seemed to forget about the shared bathroom and seemed to realize that he had a horny boyfriend on top of him.

It was easy to fall back into the rhythm they had set in high school—a little awkward, a little rushed, and always pretty vanilla. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but neither one of them had ever made an attempt to spice things up. Adam didn’t like change, and Kurt was happy to go along for the ride, especially since the one time Kurt _had_ tried to change things up a bit, Adam made his feelings quite clear on the subject. Judging by the little whines escaping Adam’s mouth, he was ready to move on to more than just heated kisses, and Kurt obliged, eagerly raising his hands so Adam could take off his shirt.

Kurt expected Adam to attach his lips his stomach after that, but instead he felt a hand pushing him back a little as Adam looked at his side. This triggered a conversation about Kurt’s tattoo and how Adam hadn’t realized it was so big and how he missed Kurt’s unblemished skin—which then led to Kurt getting defensive. Then Adam got upset about how he felt that the metaphor Kurt used to justify his tattoo—the blackbirds representing leaving his past behind and starting new—was also a way to say he was “escaping” Adam. By the time Kurt convinced Adam that he was reading too much into the tattoo and that he actually really loved it so maybe Adam should try being more supportive, neither of them was in the mood to continue what they had been doing. Besides, by that time they were already late to meet up with Kurt’s friends.

That was the real reason they were late, but Kurt didn’t see any harm in letting his friends think that he and Adam just couldn’t keep their hands off each other, and months ago that probably would have been the case. He let his friends tease Adam a little longer and let his eyes find Blaine, who was sipping his beer, not joining in on the conversation, just simply watching Kurt.

Blaine didn't look away when Kurt met his glance, looking him right in the eye while the others were still cracking stupid jokes at the expense of Kurt and his boyfriend. Normally Blaine would have loved the way Kurt's cheeks flushed so easily, the way he didn't seem to be able to stop running his fingers through his hair as he returned Blaine’s look, but now he knew he wasn't the reason. He knew he wasn't the one that made Kurt blush like a middle-schooler on a first date. What was he thinking, anyway? Just because he made a body shiver once didn't make it his. He downed the rest of his drink and set his glass down on the table with a loud thud, eyes still on Kurt even as he addressed Sebastian.

"Maybe I should take you up on that offer to stay at your place—if it isn't too late."

Kurt’s eyes went wide, and his smile faded when Blaine made his comment to Sebastian. He had just gotten Blaine back; he didn’t want him to leave again, and he definitely didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable in his own house. It was the whisper in his ear and the arms that wrapped tight around his stomach that broke the eye contact between him and Blaine.

“A place to ourselves doesn’t sound half bad.”

Kurt pulled his head back to look at Adam, who was wiggling his eyebrows at his confirmation of Blaine’s question to Sebastian. Kurt sighed and kissed Adam’s ear lobe before whispering back.

“That’s what doors and headphones are for.”

Kurt motioned with his eyes at Blaine and then to the bar, hoping he would get what he was trying to say as he peeled himself from Adam’s tighter than normal grip.

“I’m going to go get us drinks; don’t embarrass me too bad...”

Blaine gave it a couple minutes before pushing his chair back and getting up, pointing at his empty glass when Quinn arched a perfectly manicured eyebrow.

"Gotta go get my own drink before Kurt comes back with warm milk."

He smiled when Sebastian snorted, somewhat fondly, and ignored the frown that formed on Adam's face. Yes, he did have inside jokes with Kurt, or about Kurt. So how ‘bout _that_ , blondie?

Blaine paused when he made it to the bar, watching Kurt talk to Toby, smiling at something he said, the skin around his mouth crinkling into a half-moon shape the way it always did when he wanted to keep himself from smiling bigger. Blaine didn't know when he started to notice these things, and he wasn't surprised to find that he didn't really care. He was screwed anyway.

He stood close to the bar stool Kurt was sitting on, putting his elbow right next to Kurt's.

"I'll have what he's having," he provided when Toby looked at his way expectantly, using the same line Kurt said to him the last time they were here.   
  
Kurt smiled down at the drink in his hands and then over at Blaine.

"Funny. I ordered the Blaine special—Jack and coke with double the Jack. I got Adam a vodka soda; maybe that’s close enough to the sparkling water or whatever crap he drinks now."

Kurt looked back at Adam, finding him in between Quinn and Santana, looking like he was just trying to keep up. But Kurt didn't want to go back just yet; the quiet banter and easiness with Blaine was a nice contrast to the pressure he felt trying to impress Adam and constantly make sure he was having a good time. Kurt turned to Blaine, who was eyeing Kurt’s drink, and nudged him with his shoulder.

"You know you don't need to stay at Sebastian’s, right?"

Blaine looked up from where he was watching the way Kurt was absently toying with the rim of his glass and shrugged, licking his suddenly too dry lips.

"Maybe I don't need to, no."

He reached for his glass and brought it to his lips, his eyes never losing their intense focus on Kurt's face.

"But I can, if you want. It would be no problem."

Blaine's unmoving stare was distracting; it didn't make him feel uncomfortable in a way that most people's stares would, but it did make it hard for Kurt to form words or have a completely coherent thought. He usually tried to match the intenseness, to not look away, but as his words tried to take shape in his mind, he averted his eyes.

"It's just…uh, I’m kind of worried that if you do leave, you won't come back... Like last week… or even longer..."

Kurt glanced shyly at Blaine and shrugged, trying to make up for how desperate he probably sounded.

"But you know, if you have another project or a pressing Halo tournament... Well, then, I guess I can't stop you."

Blaine probably deserved it, but he hated that Kurt was feeling so uncertain about him, like he couldn't even trust him to come back. He hated that Kurt didn't know coming back wasn’t even a question. He needed Kurt too much not to, even if he wasn't yet ready to define that need more specifically. But there was also that slight desperate edge to Kurt's voice, even when he gave Blaine a way out, and Blaine was going to cling to it for dear life—because for some reason, Kurt wanted him around, too.

He moved his hand, brushing his fingers across the inside of Kurt's wrist slightly, tracing the visible blue veins on Kurt's otherwise milky skin with his thumb.

"Maybe you should..."

Kurt's whole body shivered at the feather-light touches, and he could feel the goose bumps rising all over his skin. Even the slightest touch from Blaine could be felt over his entire body. Kurt grabbed his drink and stood up from the bar stool, setting his hand on top of Blaine's hand resting on the bar, looking deep into his dark hazel eyes.

"I should. But I can't."

Kurt kept focus on Blaine's eyes for a few more seconds before he grabbed Adam's all but forgotten drink and headed back to the table.

Blaine stayed at the bar until he drained his glass and ordered another, feeling better when he started to feel the warm buzz spreading to his whole body.

He took the chair next to Quinn's when he made it to their table; everyone else was engrossed in whatever important thing Adam had to say about archery because obviously looking like a British top model wasn't enough; he had to have a fancy hobby, too.

"Didn't know your boyfriend was the next Legolas, Hummel," Noah chirped, waggling his eyebrows exaggeratedly as if he hadn’t made it sound dirty enough. Blaine scowled behind his glass and returned his focus to Kurt's face, which seemed to be his favorite thing to stare at lately.

Kurt watched Adam speak enthusiastically about archery and about how much skill and precision it takes, and all Kurt could think about was the time when they watched the Avengers, and Adam wouldn’t shut up about how Hawkeye had the lamest super power, and that just being really good at shooting arrows shouldn’t give you the privilege to stand next to Iron Man. Kurt also found it extremely strange that this was the first time he was hearing about this hobby that was apparently very important to Adam. Kurt finished his drink and set it on the table a little harder than he wanted to.

“I…uh…didn’t know. This is the first I’m hearing about my boyfriend being the next Robin Hood, but I bet he could totally pull off those tights.”

Kurt went to wrap his arm around Adam’s waist, but Adam gave him a stern look, obviously not liking his ‘tights’ comment very much. So Kurt turned his attention to Noah, reaching over to take a sip of his beer.

“Noah, when are we going to check out that indoor sky diving place?”

“Dude! Soon—we need to practice so we can do the real deal this spring!”

Noah’s eyes lit up, and he went to high five Kurt, starting their very elaborate hand shake, causing everyone else at the table to roll their eyes, but it was quickly interrupted by Adam’s confused voice.

“But you hate heights… why would you want to do something like that?”

Despite the interruption, Kurt finished the handshake with Noah, because stopping a bro five mid-bro five was like the worst thing you could do and constitutes a punishment of three shots of the other’s choosing, and Kurt just didn’t think he could handle jaeger shots right now. And then he looked at Adam and just shrugged, frowning slightly.

“No _you_ hate heights; I just didn’t want to do anything that made you uncomfortable. But it sounds exhilarating, like a natural high.”

Blaine watched the interaction between Kurt and Adam, narrowing his eyes when Adam made the enthusiastic smile disappear from Kurt's face when he mentioned Kurt not liking heights.

He bit his inner lip and smiled a secret smile when Kurt's eyes drifted to his as soon as the word “high” escaped his lips; Blaine watched as his favorite shade of pink embellished Kurt’s cheeks when Blaine's eyes dropped to his lips. God, Blaine had _never_ longed for someone else’s lips like this before.

He cleared his throat and flashed Adam a fake smile when he caught his attention.

"Yeah, Kurt is quite the adrenaline junkie. He’d ride my bike to the sunset at top speed if I let him."

The idea of riding Blaine's bike wasn't nearly as exciting to Kurt as the idea of Blaine driving as fast as he could while he clung to him for dear life, but he wasn't going to say that out loud. That thought was confined to his dreams. Kurt bit his lip at the thought before kissing Adam's cheek.

"Don't worry. I always wear a helmet."

As the night went on, Kurt continued to learn things about Adam that he should have known already and felt embarrassed that he didn't. In addition to archery, Adam had also gotten a sudden interest in the art scene in downtown Chicago, he recently started swimming instead of running at the gym, and the new lab partner he had mentioned to Kurt one or two other times was actually his new best friend.

One thing Kurt knew, he was tired of feeling like everyone was judging him and his relationship, and he pulled Adam to the dance floor. "Shut up and Dance" came on, and Kurt's eyes lit up. He immediately started getting into the music—both the lyrics and the beat—jumping and twisting and gyrating, before Adam reeled him back in, shaking his head. Adam never was a person who liked to stand out; so Kurt reluctantly stopped and went back to dancing the way Adam danced, reserved with one hand always firmly around Kurt's waist, scanning the room for everyone else but never focusing on Kurt.

When a slower song came on he reached up and hooked his arms around Adam's neck and rested his head on his shoulder, immediately catching sight of the back of Blaine's curly head as he danced with Quinn. Kurt unobtrusively guided Adam past a couple of people to see if he could catch Blaine's eyes. Lately whenever Blaine and he were in the same room, Kurt couldn't go very long without finding his eyes, without trying to count the flecks of gold. It had become very calming, almost hypnotic for Kurt. He waited patiently for Blaine to look up, giving him a small sweet smile when he finally did, feeling calmer than he had all night.

Blaine had to close his eyes and take a deep breath when he looked up from the dance floor and locked eyes with Kurt. Kurt was still staring when Blaine cracked his eyes open again, finding himself a little lost in Kurt's smile, the smile that always made weird flip-flops in his stomach whenever it was aimed his way. It took him a while to return it, feeling a sense of déjà vu as he buried his chin in Quinn's neck and imagined it felt like it was Kurt's fingers that trailed up, running through his hair. He wondered if it was always going to be like this—longing looks, bittersweet smiles, tiptoeing around the same things over and over again, the almost unbearable need to look, touch, kiss. God, why was this _happening_ to him?

They got caught up in that staring thing they always did—fuck, they just didn't seem to be able to stop—and when Blaine started to feel overly warm, he couldn't tell if it was the drinks or the overcrowded dance floor or Kurt's eyes on him that was making him heat up from the inside out.

xxx

Blaine shut the lid of his laptop and stretched his arms over his head, eyes tired from looking at the screen for too long. This was what he got for all the slacking he’d been doing for the last couple days—ignoring deadlines, papers, and his thesis. The effort to spend as little time at home as possible was wearing him down because as much as he loved spending time outside, he really needed some time to himself in the confines of his own space. But with Adam there, and pretty much attached to Kurt's side all the time, Blaine had been making an extra effort to leave the house before either of them woke up and return after they went to bed, which wasn't something he really wanted to think about.

And when he wasn't quite successful at being invisible and had to share the same space with them, the unspoken tension between them was unbearable. Kurt had audibly gasped when Blaine had to stand behind him to reach for his mug, and their chests collided when Kurt turned around. And Blaine bit his lip all the way to campus when he gave Kurt a ride—with Kurt pressing himself against Blaine's back, his head dipped over Blaine's shoulder, hugging Blaine tightly like he had any right. Good thing Adam was leaving the following day because Blaine didn't know how much longer he could have kept up this schedule, this pretending, this not getting what he wanted thing. Not that he was going to get what he wanted when Adam left anyway, but at least there wouldn’t be anyone rubbing it in his face.

Blaine checked the time on his phone and deemed it still too early to go to bed; so he took his empty glass from his desk and made his way downstairs where, apparently, Kurt and his boyfriend were having a movie night. Blaine cursed under his breath and headed into the kitchen as quietly as he could, not wanting to have to make small talk with Adam if they noticed him.

It was Kurt—of course it was—who noticed Blaine when he walked out of the kitchen with a can of PBR in hand, and Blaine thought it was all kinds of unfair the way Kurt's eyes literally lit up the moment he spotted Blaine.

Only Blaine could tear Kurt's attention from a half-naked Justin Timberlake when he walked into the kitchen. Suddenly Blaine getting a beer from the fridge was more interesting than Mila Kunis and JT getting hot and heavy on-screen. Kurt was well aware his priorities were fucked up in more ways than one, but that did nothing to diminish his desire to be near Blaine all the time.

"Hey B. Come join us; we aren't that far into the movie."

Kurt wished his brain could process things faster than his mouth could kick into gear because when he saw the stern look Adam shot him before giving him a too-fake smile, he realized it probably wasn't the best thing to ask another guy to crash their last romantic movie night together. Still, Kurt wanted Blaine there—he missed him—so he went with his feelings. He didn't retract his offer and waited for Blaine's response.

Blaine paused midway to the stairs, his eyes widening at Kurt's offer. His first instinct was to say thanks, but no thanks, and go mind his own fucking business, but he caught the look Adam gave Kurt when he asked Blaine to join them, and he knew it wasn't going to be pretty after he left. But if he stayed, Adam was going to have to be on his ‘impress my boyfriend’s roommate’ behavior—in other words, not screw up Kurt's last night with his boyfriend. Besides, maybe he’d calm down by the time movie was over, and Blaine would be able to leave them to themselves. Maybe it wasn't entirely logical thinking, but it was all he could manage while Kurt was looking at him expectantly, the soft smile on his face reserved for Blaine. So he shrugged casually and nodded, trying not to notice the way Adam shook his head to himself and returned his attention to the screen.

"Yeah, sure. Why not?"

Kurt grinned, but bit his lip so that neither Blaine nor Adam would know how happy he actually was about the fact that he could spend some time with Blaine. He felt like he hadn't really seen him the whole time Adam had been around except the one night at the bar. Kurt let Adam snuggle into his side a little more, his head dropping to Kurt’s chest and his arm draping across his stomach. Kurt moved closer to Adam so Blaine would have room to sit comfortably, resting the arm that wasn't slung across Adam’s shoulder over the back of the couch. He smiled a soft smile at Blaine before returning his focus to the TV. He refused to acknowledge the tension in the room, resolved to just enjoy the movie.

Blaine didn't even know what they were watching, just that Justin Timberlake was getting more action on-screen than Blaine did in real life. He was surprised to find Kurt still awake considering the fact that every time they had a movie night, Blaine had to carry him to his room, but he was perfectly awake now, curled up to Adam's side, making faces at the screen. It was awfully distracting actually—the way Kurt sometimes pursed his lips, scrunched up his nose and wriggled it, or raised an eyebrow until it seemed to reach his hairline. This was how pining must feel because why else Blaine was noticing these stupid, cheesy things and calling them adorable in his head? Somehow along the way, everything Kurt did stopped being annoying and became adorable—or hot—instead, and Blaine was constantly struggling to find his balance when he was around him.

His eyes caught Kurt's as the light from the TV flashed across the otherwise dark living room. He took a long, slow sip of his beer, making sure his throat was on display as he swallowed, fully aware when Kurt didn't look away, running his tongue along his lower lip. Blaine shifted the arm he’d laid over the back of the couch and avoided looking into his eyes When his fingers touched the back of Kurt's hand, and Kurt didn't pull away, he let his fingertips run across the smooth skin as he kept his eyes on the screen, even though he had no idea what he was seeing.

Kurt didn't dare let his eyes venture from the screen when he felt Blaine's fingers drag so slowly against the back of his hand—mostly in fear that once he looked into those eyes, he wouldn't be able to stop. When Blaine pulled his hand away a little, Kurt could feel the almost electrical charge that existed between the inches that separated their fingers. He shifted his arm just slightly, allowing just one finger to touch Blaine's hand, and then just one more when Blaine moved his hand closer.

They watched the rest of the movie like that, stealing little touches here and there, and becoming more brazen as the time ticked away. It felt dangerous and exciting, and it was only the touch of fingertips. Neither of them looked away from the screen, but Kurt had stopped watching the movie a long time ago. He kept one arm around Adam, but his free hand was now playing with Blaine's fingers, mirroring his movements, and his whole body felt alive—more like live-wired.

Blaine had a thin t-shirt on, his lightweight basketball shorts, and a cold beer in his hand, but sitting next to Kurt on the couch, even a foot or so away from each other, he could feel the warmth radiating off Kurt's body. That and the smell of his cologne, something simultaneously flowery and woodsy, was making his near-constant need for Kurt almost unbearable. Kurt's thumb was inside his palm, tracing the lines and making goose bumps pop up everywhere, and the tingles traveled from Kurt's touch all the way to Blaine's toes.

Blaine was almost relieved when the movie was over and the credits started to roll because he wasn't sure how much longer he could have taken it. It was sweet, sweet torture that he didn't seem to be able to make himself stop. He pulled his hand back quickly, as if burned, and rose from the couch in one quick movement. His voice was low and gruff when he managed a "Night," to Kurt and Adam before he escaped to his room, his fingertips still tingling from where they’d touched Kurt's—not to mention the hard-on he’d been fighting off throughout what could—in the wildest interpretation of the word—have been called one of the most intimate—and excruciating—‘hand-jobs’ he’d ever experienced.

Kurt nodded and watched Blaine take the stairs two at a time, hoping Adam wouldn't notice the change in his breathing—which seemed so obviously erratic to his own ears. Adam didn't say anything; he just uncurled his body from Kurt's, kissed him on the cheek and said it was time for bed. It definitely had been kind of a weird dynamic the entire time Adam had been there; it felt as if they were walking on egg shells around each other, yet constantly disappointing each other. Things had changed. They both knew it, but it seemed to Kurt neither of them wanted to actually believe it. When Adam got in bed and patted the mattress, signaling for Kurt to join him, there were no sexual undertones or heart eyes present, just the idea that his flight was early in the morning, and they better get some sleep. Kurt should have cared more about that, but he just shrugged and let Adam be the big spoon.

Adam fell asleep quickly. Five minutes with Kurt in his arms, and he was fast asleep, snoring quietly in Kurt's ear. But Kurt was wide awake, his mind running a mile a minute. The weekend’s activities were running through his head—all the stuff that he used to find adorable, like the way Adam hummed along to every song on the radio, Kurt now found annoying. And then there were memories of riding behind Blaine on his bike, his arms wrapped tightly around his waist and chest, with the wind in his hair and the howl of the bike beneath them. As Adam's arm relaxed around him, Kurt pondered all the things he didn't know about Adam anymore; then his skin tingled when his thoughts switched to the way Blaine's hand had felt, how he wanted to hold it and never let go. He felt as if he couldn't breathe—the memory was so powerful.

Kurt stayed still was until he was sure Adam was in a deep sleep, and then he carefully slid from his arms and made his way to the bathroom, closing the door. He looked in the mirror, hands on both sides of the sink, his heart racing, his mind on only one thing.

Kurt opened the door to Blaine's room and looked at him with wide eyes.

"I don't know what I’m doing here."

Blaine took his earbuds out and tossed them on the bed, taking in the way Kurt was looking at him with those baby deer eyes that were just so fucking beautiful—and what a tired word _beautiful_ was. You could call a song beautiful, too, or scenery, or a bouquet of flowers, but Kurt made it feel genuine again. His cheeks were flushed, and Blaine could see the way his chest rose and fell with shallow breaths as he stood there, those _beautiful_ eyes dropping to look at the floor. Blaine wanted to gather him in his arms and never let go.

He rose from the bed, heart racing as he took one long stride to close the distance between them, one hand grabbing onto Kurt's arm, apparently of its own volition, as the other cupped Kurt's chin, tilting his head up to make him look at Blaine.

"Hey, hey. You okay, baby boy?" he murmured softly.

Kurt felt his chest tighten at the term of endearment that slipped from Blaine's lips. When they’d first met, being called “baby boy” would have riled him, resulting in an appropriately sarcastic retort, but now it just felt so right. When he let his eyes focus on Blaine's, the concerned look in his eyes mixed with the tight hold on his arm made Kurt feel both lightheaded and solidly planted the same time. Without thinking, Kurt grabbed onto Blaine's waist and pulled himself closer to his body. He spoke in a whisper; he couldn't manage anything else.

"I... I can't stop thinking about you."

Blaine couldn't help the way his eyes slowly closed at Kurt's words; he couldn't help the way his body went lax and his heart pounded.

"God, _Kurt_ ," he whispered, his voice cracking as he stepped in the last little bit until they were standing pressed against each other, Kurt's arms fully wrapped around Blaine's waist, and Blaine's arms trailing up, hooking around Kurt's neck. He gazed at Kurt's face, and Kurt looked back at Blaine, but his eyes could only focus on Blaine's lips. Unconsciously, Blaine licked his lips, and then stroked his thumb along Kurt's lower lip. Blaine rose up on his toes just a little when he felt Kurt lean into his touch; his head was spinning with the cracking intensity of the moment.

Kurt's heart felt as if it was beating out of his chest as they leaned towards each other. He was almost afraid to look at Blaine’s eyes for fear of never being able to look away, but it was a moot point because he couldn’t tear his eyes from Blaine’s lips, which seem so, so very close now. He wasn't sure who had started moving toward the other, but he was sure he couldn't stop. As their faces got closer, Blaine's hand moved to Kurt's cheek, and the way his fingers brushed across the back of his ear as he cupped Kurt's face sent shivers down his spine. Before Kurt knew it, before he could think to stop it, he felt Blaine's lips press against his—or his press against Blaine's—and he felt _fireworks_.

Blaine gasped into Kurt's mouth the moment their lips touched, pulling him even closer with the hand he held at the back of Kurt's head. There were a lot of reasons why what they were doing was wrong, but when Kurt slid his hand inside Blaine's t-shirt and pressed shaky fingers into Blaine's warm skin, nothing felt wrong and everything felt right—the way their lips caressed each other was right, the way he could feel Kurt's heart beat like crazy against his chest was right; the things Kurt made him feel just by being in his arms was so, so right.

Blaine dragged his hand down to Kurt's waist, running his fingers up and down along the length of his back as they kissed, not pushing or more, just keeping them pressed against each other, and even that was enough to make Blaine feel like there was champagne in his veins rather than blood.

Kurt pulled back just as slowly as he’d moved into the kiss, keeping his body right where it was, pressed so firmly against Blaine's. He dragged his top lip along Blaine's bottom lip before pulling back completely and waited for Blaine to open his eyes. If the way his lips were tingling was any indication, Kurt knew he would be feeling that kiss for days. The second Blaine let his eyes flutter open and look at Kurt—almost as if he was mesmerized by the very sight of him—made Kurt want to dive right back in for seconds. But he didn't; he just looked back at him and rubbed his hand against the smooth skin of Blaine’s back. He knew he had to go back to his room, but right now all he wanted was to be selfish for a few moments longer.

Blaine wanted to protest the absence of Kurt's lips against his, wanted to claim them again and again, but at some level he knew even what he’d just had wasn't his to take in the first place. He dropped his head to Kurt's shoulder because Kurt's eyes on him were making him want to do stupid things—things like pick him up and take him to his bed. He moved from Kurt’s shoulder and buried his face in the crook of his neck, as Kurt continued dragging his fingers along Blaine's back, sending shivers down his spine. It was weird. He’d only had one beer, and he was feeling drunk out of his mind.

"You drive me _crazy_ ," he whispered into Kurt's neck, his lips brushing against Kurt's skin, the ache of wanting Kurt nearly overwhelming him . " _God_ , Kurt, you have no idea."

Kurt relished Blaine’s open mouth kisses along his neck as he buried his face in Blaine's hair, smelling a mix of raspberry and vanilla. Kurt wanted nothing more than to bury his hands in the mass of curls and pull Blaine back to his lips, ready to suck the breath right out of those gorgeous lips, but he had responsibilities he needed to take care of—responsibilities that were waiting for him in his bedroom. He spoke into Blaine's neck softly, still holding on with everything he had.

"I don't want to go."

"Then don't," was at the tip of Blaine's tongue, but he managed to keep himself from blurting out things he had no right to say. Even the idea of Kurt going back to the bed that he was sharing with someone else was making his heart drop to his stomach, but there was literally nothing he could say to make Kurt stay—or was there? Blaine knew they were walking a thin line, and not just on his part.

He pulled his head back slowly, placing one last lingering kiss on that spot right behind Kurt's ear. His whole body was screaming at him in protest as he untangled himself from Kurt's embrace, unable to look him in the eye as he took a step back.

"You uh… You should."

Kurt stood rooted in place for a moment longer, his body not allowing him to leave. It hurt too badly. And that was a big realization for Kurt. The idea of going into the next room by himself—not having Blaine for his own—physically hurt, but the idea of his boyfriend leaving in the morning didn't. And that wasn't right; none of this was probably right, but that was something he could—and would—fix. Kurt walked back through the door, forcing himself not to look back, he couldn't. Not yet.

Blaine sank down to the floor as soon as Kurt closed the door behind him, letting out a silent “Fuck,” as he covered his face with his hands. He wished he was living in a world where it would be okay to ask Kurt to come to bed with him and crawl under the covers and just hold him in his arms—just because he _needed_ him there, needed to feel the warmth and the reassuring weight of his body around him, beneath him, falling asleep listening to Kurt's heartbeat, steady and constant. It would have been enough. But as Blaine raised his head and saw the picture of him and Jamie on a karaoke stage, stupid grins on their faces as they posed shoulder to shoulder, he was reminded him of exactly how much he wasn't living in that world.

And that just sucked big time, didn't it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh that anticipation! This was probably our favorite chapter to write thus far so we hope you enjoy it! ;) Thanks as always to our beta for making the chapter even better and all of you for making us so excited to continue to write this story!
> 
> Side note the song we reference in here is Hozier's cover of The Arctic Monkey's song "Do I Wanna Know."

 

“I don’t just want to take your breath away. I want to rip it from your mouth and keep it locked away between my teeth. You can only have it back if you kiss me again.”

\- Meggie Royer, _Literary Sexts Volume I_

 

Kurt wasn’t even sure if anything _would_ happen a part from their longing looks and the occasional times when they ran out of will power, but Kurt desperately wanted to find out.  One thing was clear in his mind—he was ready to end it with Adam. Kurt wasn’t sure if it was just that he was making himself feel better or if it really was true, but it felt like Adam had one foot out the door as well. The thought of saying goodbye to Adam made Kurt sad, and he knew it wouldn’t be easy. It wasn’t so long ago that Adam had been his whole world, and now, without either of them really noticing, they had grown apart. He didn’t mean for it to happen, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Adam, but Kurt feared if they stayed together that was exactly what he would end up doing.

There was a weird vibe that entire morning as they got ready and Kurt watched Adam pack up his things. They moved around each other in silence, barely speaking in complete sentences, never really making eye contact.  At first Kurt thought it was because Adam somehow must have seen what happened in Blaine’s room the night before, but as the morning progressed, it almost felt like they were both just going through the motions of being sad that Adam was leaving because that was how they thought they were supposed to feel.

The car ride to the airport was more of the same, with awkward silences that Kurt tried to fill by reminiscing about their high school days, but that just made the atmosphere in car more depressing. Kurt pulled into the departures area of the airport and placed his car in park. He looked at Adam, heart dropping in his chest at the way Adam looked at him almost as if he was expecting what was coming next.  Kurt took Adam’s hand in his, letting out a shaky breath before he spoke.

“A-Adam. I really did love spending time with you this weekend. I had missed you like crazy. But… it just felt like… like something was missing, y’ know?”

Adam held Kurt's gaze for a while before saying anything, using his last chance to look at him completely, look him in the eyes, and think things through before acknowledging what Kurt was asking. 

"Yeah, maybe it was you…that was missing..." He shook his head as soon as the words left his mouth, squeezing Kurt's hand slightly. 

"No, that's not fair,” he continued before Kurt could respond, “I know what you're saying but I just... I don't know, Kurt. This is really it? I still love you. I really do, but uh..."  

He didn't add "maybe not the way I used to" and from the understanding look on Kurt's face, it was obvious it wasn't necessary. 

Kurt leaned forward and kissed Adam's cheek and held his hand even more tightly.

"I didn't mean for this to happen. I will always care about you, Adam. I just... I think we grew up, grew out of each other. It’s no one’s fault. I-I'm sorry."

Kurt couldn’t...wouldn’t…regret what had happened between him and Blaine; however, he knew there was no point in telling Adam all the things he was actually sorry for; this was already painful enough. Nonetheless, he still wanted him to know he felt bad about this, about everything.

Adam sighed and nodded shortly; there was no use fighting for something that was obviously beyond repair. Besides, if he had to be honest with himself, since Kurt left for school and he stayed behind, he’d been acting like someone even _he_ had difficulty recognizing, and that wasn't how being in a relationship should have make him feel. Adam didn't tell him that a piece of him would always…not just care, but love Kurt because…well, what was the point of saying something like that? that screw caring about; he'd always love him no matter what because what was the point? The whole thing was hard enough as it was. 

He brought Kurt's hand, which was still tightly holding his, to his lips and placed a soft kiss on the knuckles, keeping his eyes on Kurt. 

"Thanks for having me. I had a good time… I'm happy you're happy here." 

He let Kurt's hand go and unbuckled his seatbelt, looking over at him one last time before he got out. 

"We can try… uh, you know staying friends.” His mouth twisted in a small, wry smile as he continued, “Obviously not now because I have tons of ice cream to eat and movies to watch, but maybe when you're visiting in the summer? I'd be very sorry if you weren't in my life at all anymore." 

Kurt nodded, smiling a sad smile at Adam, a lump forming in his throat as Adam got his bags from the back seat. Adam represented pretty much his entire life back in Chicago, and this was a huge part of that life he was saying goodbye to. It was a good thing in the long run, but still hard to watch him go. Kurt noticed Adam’s boarding pass resting on the dash and got out and walked to the sidewalk where Adam was waiting to check his bags. Kurt held out the boarding pass to him; then, somewhat awkwardly at first, and then with true emotion as they realized this was really goodbye, they indulged themselves in one final hug.

"I’m not giving up on these hugs completely. Get home safe. Bye, Adam."

Adam smiled at an air-kiss Kurt sent his way, waving his hand and walking backwards as he kept his gaze on Kurt until, finally turning to go into the terminal, he quietly whispered… 

"Bye, Kurt." 

xxx

As Kurt pulled onto the highway he let out a sigh of relief—not because he was happy about the breakup, which was probably one of the toughest things he’d ever done—but because there were suddenly all these possibilities that weren’t even options before. He’d spent the last month and probably, on some level, ever since he moved here, pushing away the feelings he had begun having for Blaine, pretending they didn't exist, hating himself for even thinking of Blaine in that way. But now... Now maybe it could be different; maybe they could at least talk about what going on instead of ignoring it.

Kurt drove a little faster, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter as he neared their house.  He didn't know how Blaine felt, not really. He knew there was _something_ there; he could feel that, but beyond that he had no idea. He was anxious to find out, and now that Adam was out of the picture, it seemed at least the topic wasn't off limits. He knew Adam hadn’t been the only thing standing between them— _was_ there a ‘them’? Pulling into their driveway, he was so ready to find out.

Blaine thought about going upstairs once he heard Kurt's car in their driveway, but avoiding the elephant in the room and running away from the things that shouldn't have existed in the first place sure wasn’t going to get them anywhere. It wasn't going to be pretty, but Blaine needed to be the adult. He needed to tell Kurt he didn't know what had been going on with them lately, but they needed to put a stop to it—whatever _it_ was—and try to forget anything had happened. Not that Blaine was actually going to be able to forget, himself, but… Well as long as he made it clear to Kurt that he was really serious, it was going to be fine. 

He filled two mugs with fresh coffee and brought them to the coffee table in the living room, taking a sip of his as he heard the doorknob turn.  

Kurt walked into the house quickly, with every intention of going upstairs to find Blaine first thing. He wanted to tell him he and Adam had officially broken up—and let him know that he could still feel last night’s kiss on his lips and ask him if he could too. He was so wrapped up in planning what he was going to say that he almost missed Blaine sitting on the couch, like he was waiting for Kurt the whole time.  As their eyes met, Kurt’s heart started racing and he froze mid-step, momentarily forgetting everything he had planned to say.

“H-hey.  I um… Is that coffee… for me?”

Blaine gave Kurt a look as if to say _what do you think?_ and patted the space next to him on the couch. He tried not to look at Kurt's face because every time he risked a glance, his eyes were drawn to the lips he’d had against his the previous night—and that wasn't doing a thing for his plan to keep his cool.

"Unless you see another person here that I don’t, then yes."

Kurt raised an eyebrow at Blaine's slightly sarcastic comment, trying to catch his eyes to pick up on his mood, but Blaine was obviously working to avoid eye contact.  Maybe he was nervous, too; maybe he had the same idea Kurt had, which made the nervous butterflies in his stomach stir. Kurt sat next to Blaine leaving only a small space between them—only to have Blaine move and increase the distance.

"Well, thanks. I didn't get a chance to have any before I took Adam to the airport."

Kurt caught Blaine’s eyes when he finally looked at him, but he immediately looked away at the mention of Adam. Kurt couldn't help the small smile that formed on his lips—not because of the still fresh breakup, but because he hoped he was about to make Blaine a little happier, or at least more at ease.

"Speaking of Adam... We um... I broke up with him. When I dropped him off. It's over."

Blaine's head snapped up at Kurt's words, his eyes widening in surprise. It took him off guard, and he hated that his first instinct was to smile. He took a long, slow sip of his coffee to camouflage the twitch of his lips and just so he had something to do other than gape at Kurt's face like an idiot. It didn't have to change the way Blaine had planned their talk to go, but he kind of had to kick-start his brain to get it back on track. He swallowed thickly, eyes on his fingers around his mug as he spoke. 

"Why?" 

Kurt had expected a different reaction from Blaine. A smile maybe, a sigh of relief, a confirmation that he’d done the right thing—some fucking eye contact for god’s sake—but no.  Blaine’s question came off like he was almost angry at this news, like he hadn’t spent the weekend giving Adam backhanded compliments or ignoring him completely, and Kurt couldn’t help but get a little defensive.

“Why?  Because it was time.  Because this weekend confirmed to me what I’ve known for a while—we’d grown apart and there was no sense in dragging it out anymore. And especially after—”

Kurt stopped mid-sentence when Blaine’s head snapped up, finally looking him in the eyes.  But it wasn’t like normal—it was like he was almost looking past him—and his face didn’t soften like it normally did; his mouth stayed in a hard line as if he was figuring out what to say next while at the same time giving Kurt a clear message to stop talking.

Blaine shook his head at himself, angry with Kurt for thinking it was that easy and angry with himself because he was to blame for making Kurt believe it actually was. What did he expect? Kurt was really a _kid_. He had the luxury of acting without thinking, doing whatever the fuck he felt like. But Blaine should have known better, should have been the one to put an end to those not-so-innocent touches, lingering looks, and private smiles as soon as he realized where it was going. God, Jamie _trusted_ him! Jamie trusted him with the most important thing in his life, and what did Blaine do in return?

Blaine rose from the couch with that thought in mind, as if he couldn't get away from Kurt fast enough, running his fingers through his hair, unable to stay still as he hovered over Kurt, still sitting on the couch.

"Especially after _nothing_!" Blaine blurted out, punctuating “nothing” as he kept his gaze on Kurt, trying not to feel like the shittiest person in the world at the hurt that flashed across Kurt's face. 

"I-I think you made a hasty decision. Maybe you should think more with a clear head or something." 

The way Blaine accentuated the word “nothing” as if he needed to make that point especially clear, the way his voice was firm and harsh felt like a punch straight to Kurt’s heart. That kiss meant something; it felt like _everything_ when it happened. At least Kurt thought it had.

"I didn't fucking make that decision lightly, Blaine. It's been over for months; I just got the balls to make it official."

Kurt ran his fingers through his hair, wanting to pull it out as he could feel the frustration building inside of him.

"And how dare you tell me my decision was _hasty_? _You_ were the one who told me that story about you and your ex—told me there was nothing worse than not telling the other person when your feelings changed.”  

Blaine winced internally at the vehemence of Kurt’s voice and the way he wasn't letting it go—and he hadn't expected him to, if he had to be honest. That was one of the first things he grew to like about Kurt—that he would never back down without a fight. But he schooled his features into a blank expression and stared down at Kurt as if it didn't kill him inside to see those eyes looking back at him with so much disappointment. 

"It isn't the same thing," he tried weakly, opting to ignore the part about them being alone together. "You're still so young. You think you know what you want, but you don't really." 

Kurt stood up, shaking his head and clenching his fists at his sides. He thought he was good at reading people, thought he and Blaine were on the same page, but as it seemed they couldn't be farther apart.  Kurt was aware he was raising his voice; he could feel the heat in his cheeks radiate through his whole body. 

"And you think you know better than me? You think you know what I want? Obviously you don't have a fucking clue!"

He moved closer, waited for Blaine to look at him. He almost thought he saw a hurt look that momentarily seemed to surface on Blaine’s face and immediately decided he didn't have the right to look hurt right now—if it had been there at all. Blaine quickly schooled his features into a stern expression, and Kurt spoke as calmly as he could, although he could hear his voice shake.

Stepping even closer to him, Kurt said as steadily and emphatically as he could, "I’m not the one acting like a fucking child, Blaine. That's you." He raised his hand to point directly at Blaine.

Blaine grabbed Kurt's wrist and pulled it down, tightening his grip when Kurt tried to pull it back. He felt like he’d been riding a roller coaster of emotions ever since he woke up, starting with guilt and then regret, longing, and now anger.

Whatever it was Blaine ended up feeling, he was always feeling it too much with Kurt—and that was the problem, wasn't it?

"You think cursing in every sentence will make you a grown-up? It won't. You still have a long _fucking_ way to go!" he spat out, anger suddenly surging through his body, blocking any rational thought from his mind. 

"And why do you even think I'd care about what you want?" he continued.

Kurt looked at Blaine dumbfounded, baffled that Blaine was even asking him that question. Had Blaine forgotten that he was there the night Kurt watched him all but screw another guy without taking one eye off of Kurt, and didn’t he remember the night before when they couldn't resist touching each other even if it was just fingertips. And didn’t he remember what happened in Blaine’s bedroom when… Kurt shook his head angrily.

"Because we KISSED!"

Kurt didn't mean to yell it, but he was livid because Blaine was making him feel like this was some childish fantasy he was living in. It was _real_ …wasn't it? Had Kurt really made it up in his head.

Kurt ripped his wrist from Blaine's hold, furious that he was even making him _question_ it—question something he _knew_.

Blaine blinked very slowly, feeling like he’d hit a brick wall upon hearing Kurt's words, putting it out there so there was nowhere to escape, no way to avoid.

 He clenched his fist when Kurt freed his wrist from his tight grip and stared past Kurt’s face and over his shoulder, but seeing nothing, unable to meet his eyes as he spoke. 

"…Which was a mistake." 

Kurt took a step back and let out the angry breath he’d been holding. At the word “mistake,” it felt as his heart fell hard to the floor. Kurt would have called that kiss a lot of things, but a _mistake_ wouldn't be one of them. Something that felt as right that kiss had felt to Kurt was _not_ a mistake. He could feel his throat tighten, and he looked at the floor to gain his composure. He wasn't going to let Blaine see him cry; he didn't deserve to see what effect he had on Kurt. He slowly raised his head and looked Blaine straight in the eyes and spoke as clearly as he could, punctuating each word.

"Fuck. You."

With that Kurt turned and walked quickly to the stairs, taking them two at a time to his room, slamming the door behind him.  He got to the middle of the room before he stopped, breathing more heavily than he normally would just from hurrying up the stairs, the argument finally catching up to him, causing his breath to catch. He could feel the tears starting to sting, clouding his vision. How did things get so screwed up?

Blaine regretted his words almost before they left his lips, and the look on Kurt's face—so sad and disappointed—as if Blaine had literally broken his heart by calling the kiss a mistake. He knew how Kurt felt because those two words from Kurt, uttered with such pain and anger and feeling, felt like a physical blow to Blaine, causing his breath hitch painfully in his chest. 

How could he let everything get so out of his control? How could he think he could get away with being a tease and leading Kurt on like that and not expect it to come and bite him in the ass in return? Everything was a fucking mess, but all Blaine cared about at that moment was the look Kurt gave him before running to his room—and how he could make it right again because Blaine didn't think he could breathe when he knew Kurt was sad because of him. 

He made his way back into the kitchen and opened the liquor cabinet with shaky fingers, taking long, generous sips straight out of the vodka bottle before putting it back. It wasn't what he needed. He eyed the cupboard where he knew half of his marijuana stash was, but knew he didn't need to get high and be fucking okay about everything for a little while and then have it all come crashing down on him later. What he needed was upstairs, probably hating him with a passion, which was something Blaine felt he actually deserved. And Blaine knew, well, Blaine wasn't okay with any of it. 

His hands were still shaky when he made it upstairs, standing in front of Kurt's room, his phone in one hand and knocking on the door a couple times with the other. He didn't wait for Kurt to tell him to come in because then he might have to wait forever; he turned the doorknob, letting himself in. His eyes immediately landed on Kurt's lean figure on the bed, which had been hunched over, but was now sitting up rigidly as he looked over at Blaine with red, puffy and still angry eyes, and fuck, Blaine was really an asshole, wasn't he? It should be a crime to make someone that beautiful cry… even if he did make even crying beautiful…

He turned around without giving Kurt a chance to tell him to get the fuck out of his room, going over to his desk, and connecting his phone to Kurt's speakers before pressing play. A song playing that had been on top of his playlist, and only as the melody kicked in did Blaine realize why it had been on constant repeat since the night Kurt walked into his room.

_Have you no idea that you’re in deep?_

_I dreamt about you nearly every night this week_

_How many secrets can you keep?_

 

Kurt's angry stare turned into something confused, and Blaine could see he was still eyeing him warily as Blaine made his way to him, standing by the bed. 

"May I?" he asked as he held his hand out for Kurt, looking him right in the eyes, trying to say how sorry he was without using words because obviously his words were nothing but trouble. 

Kurt didn't give his hand to Blaine right away; he took a few seconds to read Blaine's eyes, realizing this was the first time Blaine had actually really looked at him today, and not through or past him. His amber eyes were softer now, concerned and sad, but hopeful. This was not the Blaine who had dismissed him downstairs; this was the Blaine whose hand he would gladly clasp. 

With a shaky hand, Kurt took Blaine's outstretched one, letting him pull him to his feet. Blaine then wrapped a hand around his waist and, interlocking their fingers, he led Kurt in a tight circle in the middle of the room as the music played softly in the background.

 

_(Do I wanna know)_

_If this feeling flows both ways?_

_(Sad to see you go)_

_Was sort of hoping that you’d stay_

_(Baby we both know)_

_That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day_

Blaine continued looking into Kurt’s eyes, Kurt returning his gaze. This was the only way they could communicate without barriers, without lying to each other. However, it also could be too intense, as if Kurt was seeing parts of Blaine …parts of Blaine that he didn’t have the right to see. Kurt put his arms around Blaine's neck and rested his head against the side of Blaine's, relaxing in his tight hold. 

This wasn't about dancing, not really—wrapping both arms around Kurt's back, one lower around his waist, the other hand splayed against the middle of Kurt's shoulder blades—they stepped in close, their chests almost touching. Blaine didn't relax until he could feel Kurt visibly ease in his arms, the lingering tension washing out of him as Kurt hooked his arms around his neck, letting Blaine hold him close. Blaine let out a quiet little sigh, tilting his head so it rested in the crook of Kurt’s neck, resting his cheek against Kurt’s hair. As they swayed together, the song skipped to the second verse.

 

_Ever thought of calling when you’ve had a few?_

_‘Cause I always do_

_Maybe I’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new_

_Now I’ve thought it through_

_Crawling back to you_

Hozier continued to sing out the confessions Blaine couldn’t admit, and his heart settled into a beat that matched Kurt's, steady and constant where Blaine could feel it against his chest. Despite the many stolen glances, forbidden touches, and the—no, definitely _not_ a mistaken—kiss they shared, this was the most intimate Blaine had felt with Kurt. It was as if even the way their hearts, effortlessly beating in rhythm with each other, were telling him they were on the same page—that this was somehow meant to be.

There were so many thing that needed to be said, so many things to apologize for, but for now Blaine concentrated on how good simply _this_ felt—holding Kurt close, their movements in sync, and a shiver running through Blaine's skin as Kurt's fingers stroked along the back of his neck.

It wasn't even sexual; it was about the way Kurt made him feel, without even trying, whenever they were close. It was about the effortless connection they had together, the way they were so susceptible to each other's touches and looks, the way they always ended up wanting more, needing more. How was Blaine supposed to fight it? 

"This wasn't supposed to happen, you know," Blaine whispered. 

" _You_  weren't supposed to happen."  Blaine whispered again, so very quietly, as if he wasn’t sure he wanted Kurt to hear.

 

_So have you got the guts?_

_Been wandering if you’re heart’s still open and if so I wanna know what time it shuts_

_Simmer down and pucker up_

_I’m sorry to interrupt. It’s just I’m constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you_

_I don’t know if you feel the same as I do_

_But we could be together if you wanted to_

Kurt got goose bumps at Blaine's barely there whisper, as if he was telling Kurt a secret he wasn't quite ready to fully admit. Their disagreements from earlier were now in the past as Hozier went into another hauntingly beautiful chorus, and Kurt certainly wasn't going to ruin this perfect moment with talk of fate. But that was what this all felt like, really—a big, screwed up, messy version of fate. So yeah, in the simple sense, what they were doing right now, what they did before—what Kurt _wanted_ to do—shouldn't be happening, but it was. It _was_ , and Kurt felt as if it was almost an unavoidable reality.  

Kurt ran his fingers through the back of Blaine's hair, like he had been wanting to forever; it felt amazing, and the tiny hum Blaine let out made him want to do it over and over. But the truth was he didn't know if he would have the chance. Whatever _this_ was, was a ticking time bomb, and it seemed like it could go off at any moment.  Kurt spoke softly, his breath brushing against Blaine's ear.

"You weren't part of my plan either.”

Blaine moved the hand that was on Kurt’s waist, positioning it flat against his back opposite the other one, pulling Kurt against him, leaving no space between their bodies. And for that split second when Blaine moved his hand off his hip, Kurt gasped almost audibly, panicked that Blaine was pulling away.

"I wasn't supposed to need you," Kurt whispered in reply.

Upon hearing those words, Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt even more tightly, sliding one thigh between Kurt's legs so he could pull him in closer. He couldn't make any promises, not when there were still a lot of “do not’s” and “don’t go there’s” crossing his mind, but deep down he knew he was going to end up giving Kurt anything he wanted, regardless of how much he told himself otherwise. How could he not? Blaine couldn't remember the last time someone told him they needed him—not his class notes, his body, or a ride—but just _him_ … And Blaine _liked_ it. He wasn’t going to kid himself and say that the feeling wasn't mutual. 

Blaine didn't answer with words; instead, he tilted his head back and nuzzled Kurt's neck, deeply inhaling his smell, his breath licking Kurt's skin as he breathed out. 

Kurt felt Blaine's lips dust his neck as they swayed together, the song ending in the background, and he desperately didn't want everything to end. He wanted to hold onto Blaine like this forever.  Kurt moved his hands up to Blaine's shoulders and pushed back just enough to be able to look at him—god, he was beautiful. Kurt noticed how Blaine’s long eyelashes were splayed against his cheek before he slowly opened his eyes, how his olive skin was slightly flushed, how his curls stuck out in the places where Kurt had run his hands through his hair, and how his lips were slightly parted. Kurt realized he was staring at Blaine’s precious lips about the same time he heard himself say…

"Kiss me."

Blaine's breath caught in his throat at Kurt's gentle demand, his eyes dropping to Kurt's lips almost automatically. In fascination, he watched Kurt bite his lower lip when he didn't answer; Blaine wanted to replace those teeth with his own so badly. His voice was no more than a whisper when he spoke, his eyes still fixed on Kurt's lips. 

"You know it's not that simple." 

Kurt knew it wasn't; god, he knew that! But in this moment, in the present silence of his bedroom, he also knew he’d never wanted something so badly in his entire life. He inhaled deeply, hoping it would be his last breath that wasn't shared with Blaine’s. He looked into Blaine’s eyes, not wavering in the slightest, although his heart was beating like crazy.

"I know."

Blaine exhaled loudly, feeling as if he’d just lost the last ounce of his willpower when Kurt looked at him with such longing—and something so heavy and intimate in his gaze that it took Blaine's breath away. There was no way Blaine could say no to anything Kurt wanted from him and actually mean it; he was already in far, far too deep. 

He had to lean up on his toes to finally press his lips against Kurt's, swallowing the tiny gasp that escaped Kurt's lips when their lips finally touched. He brought the hand that was wrapped around Kurt's back up to cup Kurt's jaw, pulling him down to his height as he pressed in more firmly against his mouth.

It was overwhelming and addicting and nothing like the kiss they’d shared the previous night. It was as if they both let all their reservations go for just one moment, deciding to take without hesitation whatever the other was willing to give—and then give back even more in return. Blaine parted his lips and brought his other hand up to cradle Kurt's face between his palms, his tongue darting out to trace the line of Kurt's lips until he was granted access. _Nothing_ had ever felt this _right_. 

Kurt dropped his hands to Blaine’s waist as he was pulled into the kiss, moving them up the muscles and ligaments of his back, his movements pushing Blaine’s shirt up and his hands pressing hard into the curves of his back, as if to hold Blaine securely in place—their lips solidly and softly together where they belonged.  The way Blaine almost frantically grabbed his face with both hands, but so gently brushed his fingers behind his ears seemed to be the most passionate moment of Kurt’s entire life.

The crazy butterflies darting within Kurt’s stomach made him feel as if he could literally fly out of the room; it was only Blaine holding onto him so tightly that prevented it. As Blaine dragged his tongue long and slow against Kurt’s, just before their lips began to part, it was as if a fire was lit deep inside Kurt, and he surged forward, kissing Blaine desperately.  He gripped tightly to the thin fabric of Blaine’s t-shirt and let out a moan as Blaine matched the intensity—as if Blaine needed this just as badly—just as fiercely—as Kurt did.  

Kurt had _never_ been kissed like this, as if Blaine literally needed Kurt to breathe—and at the same time it felt as if Blaine was breathing life into Kurt.  He felt Blaine pull back, or maybe he was just switching positions—it didn’t matter—either way Kurt wasn’t ready for it to end. Kurt moved his hands to Blaine’s face, breaking Blaine’s hold and shaking his head ‘no’ as he pressed his mouth hard against Blaine’s, parting his lips and asking for, demanding, more.

Blaine was almost tempted to smile at Kurt's eagerness—almost—but he was busy being consumed by the hottest, most sensual and most intimate, kiss of his life. The way Kurt responded to him—the noises spilling from Kurt's lips, desperate and needy—the way their tongues met over and over again, in and out of their mouths—it was all too much—and not enough—all at this very same moment in time

Blaine moved his hand down, sliding it inside Kurt's t-shirt, dragging his fingers up and down his back as he continued kissing this amazing boy, hot and claiming. He licked into Kurt's mouth, and bit his lips, and fucked his tongue inside until Kurt was whimpering—the sounds he was making turning into a symphony of want. It was killing Blaine how much more he wanted, needed from this boy— _not_ _boy_ — _man_. 

Kurt started to feel light-headed about the same moment Blaine was sucking on his tongue and making the hottest noises he had ever heard in his life. He couldn’t tell if it was because he was having the kind of kiss that inspire poems and songs, or if it was actually because of the lack of oxygen to his brain.  Kurt decided he didn’t really care—if he were to suffocate to death, what a way to go.  He knew they needed to stop and take a break because of the way things were going—he was about to pull Blaine to his bed with his teeth, and things already weren’t simple.

Kurt _tried_ to make his kisses less urgent; he _tried_ to pull back slowly.  He failed three times before their kisses faded into something a little less frenetic and a little more sweet. Eventually Kurt was able to open his eyes and focus on Blaine’s face, eyes now dark and full of passion, lips looking so used and red; the sight was almost too much to take, almost too beautiful. Kurt rested his forehead against Blaine’s, breathing heavily. 

“You take my breath away.”

Blaine smiled a sweet smile and leaned in to peck Kurt's lips one more time, but he was having difficulty pulling back because he was already addicted to the way Kurt's lips tasted. He curled an arm around Kurt's waist, fingers still inside Kurt's t-shirt, pressing into his warm skin. He just looked at Kurt's face because he’d never let himself look his fill before; he’d always been afraid of getting caught, always yearning for the sight of him. 

"What am I going to do with you?" Blaine sighed. His voice was fond, awed even, as if he couldn't actually believe he was able to touch Kurt like this and look at him all he wanted, without masking it with something else. 

Kurt smiled coyly and moved a couple of curls behind Blaine's ear. "You're an asshole, you know that?" he murmured.

Kurt didn't hide his smile; he just continued to play with the curls that framed Blaine's face. He reveled in the texture, the sensation as, for once, he didn't have to imagine how his thick mass of curls felt between his fingers.

Blaine bit his lip into a smirk and grabbed Kurt's wrists, the smirk widening to a grin as Kurt whined at losing touch with Blaine’s hair as he was backed up to the wall. Blaine enjoyed the way Kurt's cheeks got darker, perhaps from the heat of their bodies or perhaps from the way Blaine was looking at him as he pinned Kurt’s wrists up above his head. He leaned forward, tightening his grip around Kurt's wrists when he tried to free them, and with much deliberation first placed several kisses at different points on Kurt's throat and then, tilting his head slightly, he took Kurt's earlobe between his teeth. 

"Yeah, but I'll be your asshole if you have me," he whispered into Kurt’s ear as he closed his lips around the soft shell of his ear.

Kurt gasped as Blaine sucked and bit at his ear and neck, arching his back off from the wall just to be pressed back again by Blaine's body. He struggled—but not too much—to free his wrists from Blaine’s grip.

"Mmm... _Mine_. I like the sound of that….but it's not that simple, is it?"

Blaine's smile froze on his lips as he absorbed Kurt’s words. He let go of Kurt's wrists as if only now realizing what he was doing; he took a step back, shaking his head as he looked down at the floor. Kurt…Kurt made him lose his mind…literally.

"No. Fuck. It really isn't." 

Kurt found himself closing the distance Blaine had just created, regretting his words, not wanting Blaine to retreat and leave again.  Kurt couldn’t take it—not again—not ever. He grabbed Blaine’s chin and tilted his head up so he could look at him, a worried look in his eyes.

“Hey, no… please don’t…”

…Leave, act like this didn’t happen, beat yourself up… Kurt didn’t know which ‘don’t’ he wanted to say aloud; so he didn’t say any of them. Instead he sighed as he tried not to let his panic show through in his eyes.

“Just look at me, B… I know this is complicated; believe me I know.  But we don’t know what _this_ is yet; god knows _I_ can’t explain it.  So why worry about anything until we know?”

Kurt kept his hand on Blaine’s chin, forcing him to look him in the eyes, hoping with everything that he had this wouldn’t be over with just one amazing kiss—again.

Blaine looked back at Kurt and let out an exhausted sigh, not knowing what to say, how much to say. 

"You know why," he started, and then paused. 

He didn't know why neither of them had said Jamie's name out loud before. Maybe they were afraid what they were doing would be too real once they did, or maybe they were just trying to pretend he wasn't a big part of their problem, but he was still there, always in Blaine's mind.  

"Jamie's coming to visit next month, and Bas is basically living with us on school days, and Quinn asks about you even before saying hello when she sees me. And you're … god, you're so _young_ , Kurt! And it sucks because I just can't help but want you—which is so fucked up, and I- I..." 

Kurt knew that most of Blaine's adorable ramblings were valid points—some even seemed almost insurmountable obstacles—but right now, at that very moment, he didn't give a shit about any of that, and he didn't want Blaine to, either. So Kurt closed the space between them, quickly grabbing the back of Blaine's head, and kissed the words right out of his mouth.  God, it felt good to be able to do that, and he wasn't giving up on this new privilege that easily. After he was confident that he’d made his point to Blaine, he pulled back with a determined smile, keeping his hand tangled in Blaine’s hair.

"Bas, Quinn and whoever else doesn't need to know about our business."

Kurt's eyes got a little darker as he walked Blaine back against the wall he’d been pressed against moments earlier.

"It can be our little secret. It can just be ours.”

Kurt let his fingers trace Blaine's bottom lip as he bit down on his own.

"As for my age... Well, that just means there’s a lot you can teach me."

Kurt smiled a crooked smile when Blaine took a sharp intake of breath as his fingers caressed his lips. Kurt leaned in and pressed feather kisses behind Blaine's ear and huskily whispered…

"And Jamie doesn't come for a month. Give us a month, Blaine."

Kurt paused between kisses to watch for Blaine's response, hoping that for once he would just give in.

Blaine opened eyes that he hadn’t realized he’d closed while Kurt was peppering his neck with kisses. He licked his lips when he saw the look on Kurt's face—something fierce and determined and bold and so, _so_ sexy. He knew Kurt didn't realize what he was asking from him, and he didn't know how much Blaine could have asked in return, how much he already wanted. God, he could just ruin this fucking gorgeous boy in so many beautiful ways and he was sure Kurt didn't even know the half of it. 

"Okay," he said finally, after gazing at Kurt's face for a while, drinking in the sight of his kiss swollen lips, flushed cheeks, and tousled hair sticking up in every direction. Blaine had never seen anything so halfway ruined but still otherworldly in his life.

"It's ours."

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating but hopefully the chapter makes up for it. Our boys couldn't resist each other forever ;) Hope you enjoy!!!

_“Take off your clothes. Show me. Show me your edges. I want to see with my own eyes where you end and where I begin. I want to see where I fit, where you leave off being you and turn into me.”_

_-Peregrine_

 

Blaine refused to open his eyes until the bright glare of morning sun pouring in through the sheer curtains, beaming warmly on his face and licking at his skin, became impossible to ignore. He stretched out his arms, yawning lazily as he sat up in the bed, his lips spreading into a big grin as he remembered the reason why he went to sleep so late the previous night.

They hadn’t gone any further than innocent—okay, maybe not so innocent—kisses and wandering hands, but it was past midnight when Blaine finally managed to untangle himself from Kurt's warm body and go to his room. _Alone._ Kurt had made sure Blaine wouldn't be able to get to sleep for a couple more hours because of the good night kiss he gave him—not that Blaine would have been able to anyway. There were so many things keeping him awake even when he’d stripped to his boxers and had lain face down in the bed. He’d tried forcing himself not to think about what he would say to Jamie if he happened to find out how he’d spent the last couple hours with Kurt. Blaine was so going to hell, but the previous night made it pretty clear he was unable to do anything to prevent it; he wanted Kurt too much.

He was having difficulty keeping his eyes open even after he washed his face. He put on a well-worn t-shirt before making his way downstairs to the kitchen, the scent of freshly brewed coffee coming in waves. Blaine paused when he walked into the kitchen, his lips curling into a lazy smile as he looked up and met Kurt's sky blue eyes, which dropped to Blaine's lower half immediately, looking him up and down appreciatively. Blaine arched an eyebrow and bit his lip in return, still not used to being the receiving end of such openly admiring—and hungry—stares from Kurt. He still didn't know how to handle it, which was really funny actually, because Blaine had thought he’d perfected his flirting game long before Kurt came into his life. 

“Morning,” was about all he could manage as he closed the remaining distance between them. He gave Kurt an appreciative smile when he was handed a mug of steaming coffee and took a generous sip, enjoying the tiny little moment of pleasure as his eyes dropped closed. 

Kurt didn't waste a moment when Blaine's eyes fluttered closed after taking his first sip of Kurt's self-admittedly fabulous coffee; he tilted his head down so he could press his lips hard and fast to Blaine's. The coffee tasted even better coming off Blaine’s lips, and Kurt was quite satisfied as Blaine emitted a tiny gasp of surprise and swiftly returned the kiss. After last night, Kurt was convinced that there was nothing better than being kissed back by Blaine Anderson, and this morning’s kiss confirmed his suspicions. It didn’t really matter if it was a long, urgent kiss or a quick peck; having Blaine’s lips on his was just the best. If he let himself really think about it, he’d been wanting to just lean in and kiss Blaine during their morning coffee rituals so many times before—every time Blaine's hand had brushed his as he reached for his coffee cup, or when he moaned quietly to himself after his first sip—and Kurt was beside himself that now he could. Kurt pulled back just enough so his lips weren't actually pressed against Blaine's, probably smiling way too big.

“Morning.”

Dazed and shivering slightly, Blaine licked his lips, savoring the taste of Kurt's mouth before he opened his eyes, glancing up at Kurt's face. It was the way Kurt stared back at him, his now more gray than blue eyes unwavering, lips parted as if he couldn't get enough of Blaine's lips, that made him set his mug down on the counter and wrap an arm around Kurt's hip to pull him in. 

“It _is_ a good one,” he whispered against Kurt's mouth before his lips were crashing into Kurt's, bringing his other hand to his face, drawing him in impossibly closer. It was like a spark that coursed through his veins when Kurt got with the program and started to kiss him back, giving as well as he took. It was urgent and desperate and heady, and the way his tongue nudged against Kurt's, the way Kurt was tugging his hair, the way they were pressed against each other from head to toe, made Blaine's head spin deliciously. Blaine forgot, or maybe he had never even learned in the first place, that simply kissing could make one feel this way, as if he was utterly shattered and completely, blissfully happy at the same time. 

Kurt let Blaine press him against the counter and explore his mouth with his delicious tongue. Blaine pulled his face closer with both hands and intensified the kiss, making him feel so wanted that it was almost overwhelming. Kurt trailed his hands down Blaine's back, stopping just above where his sweatpants were sitting low on his hips, speaking against his lips when they came up for air, his voice barely a whisper.

“Your coffee is getting cold.”

Blaine nodded at Kurt's words as if he had any idea what Kurt was talking about and claimed his lips again, laughing into Kurt's mouth as their noses bumped. He pressed himself against Kurt harder, his fingers running over Kurt's stomach where his t-shirt was riding up slightly, then dipping lower to graze over the skin above the waistband of his sweatpants. 

He was about to slide one knee between Kurt's, wanting to feel him even closer, when a loud buzz coming from god knows where made Blaine jump back, startled by the sudden noise. Maybe it was because, subconsciously, he was still feeling like he was doing something he shouldn't that made him react so strongly, but he loosened his hold when he realized it was Kurt's phone, vibrating loudly against the laminated counter. Blaine took a couple steps back when he saw Jamie's name flashing across the screen, chewing his inner lip as he watched Kurt turn it off and return his gaze to Blaine, still very composed. 

“You uh... You should get back to him. I should just go get ready for class anyway.” 

Kurt frowned at the sudden distance Blaine created between them and the complete change in his demeanor from seeing Jamie's name coming across his phone. This wasn't going to work; they wouldn't even make it a week if every time Jamie called or his name came up, they would just feel guilty and basically fight against the feelings they were having. Blaine promised a month; they _needed_ the month, and Kurt so wanted it to work, more than anything.

Kurt reached out and grabbed Blaine's hand just as he was about to turn around. 

“I never talk to Jamie until after I've had at least two cups of coffee. I wasn’t ignoring him because of you; I was ignoring him because he has way too much energy in the mornings for me to handle. Just… um… have coffee with me… please?”

Blaine curled his fingers around Kurt's without even realizing it and glanced at his face, noticing the hopeful glint in his eyes before nodding his head yes. He moved to take his mug from the counter and sat across from Kurt at the tiny kitchen table. 

“Thanks for the coffee,” he said, looking at Kurt through his eyelashes. “It's perfect as always.” 

Kurt took his usual spot across from Blaine, watching from behind his coffee, enjoying how Blaine's cheeks flushed under his blatant stare, even though he kept his eyes on Kurt's the entire time. Kurt appreciated that they could still sit in silence even after they’d let themselves finally give into each other. He liked that it still felt so intimate even after being pressed up against Blaine's strong body. Kurt was turning himself on just thinking about Blaine, staring into his mesmerizing hazel eyes—eyes that seemed to alternate from dark to light every time he blinked. Kurt leaned forward and ran his bare foot up the inside of Blaine's outstretched leg.

“You meant what you said last night...right? About it being _our_ month?”

Blaine took a sharp intake of breath, his eyes getting darker as he tightly gripped his mug. It was just Kurt's foot brushing up against his leg, but Blaine could already feel his sweatpants tighten across his growing erection as Kurt continued his intense stare. 

It was insane and a little bit scary how much effect Kurt had on him without even trying. Blaine felt like he was drowning, drifting closer and closer to the bottom every time Kurt asked him to let him in, either with words or body language…and when he used both... He closed his eyes and took a deep, relaxing breath before fixing his gaze on Kurt's face again, trying not to notice the hooded look he was giving Blaine. 

“Yeah, right,” he answered, his voice wavering just slightly. “But maybe we shouldn't… uh… you know… Maybe we should take it slow. A month is a long time when you think of it.” 

He didn't voice his real thoughts—that if he let himself take what he wanted, and how much he wanted, he would never be able to stop. And that...that was dangerous. 

Kurt would have been more disappointed when Blaine suggested they take it slow if he hadn’t kept looking at Kurt's lips when he said it. Blaine was wrong though. A month wasn't long at all; it wasn't long enough when Kurt wanted so much with Blaine. But he knew arguing with Blaine was hopeless; thankfully he now had other ways to convince him—very slowly of course.

He pushed his chair out and moved around the table; he moved Blaine’s empty coffee cup to the side and hopped on the table, sitting right in front of him. Letting go of the mug, Blaine laid his hand to the side of where Kurt was sitting. Kurt innocently moved a piece of hair out of Blaine's eye, letting his hand drift down the side of his face.

“Yeah, it is a long time. Four weeks.”

Kurt let his hand trail slowly down Blaine's arm, coming to rest on his hand.

 _“Thirty_ _long_ days...and nights.”

Kurt gripped Blaine's hand in his and then brought it up, resting it on his inner thigh. He inched his way closer, causing Blaine’s hand to slide farther toward the inside of his leg. He noticed Blaine's eyes leave his face then, just for a brief moment. Kurt was well aware that his own morning wood had turned into a full-blown erection since their first “good mornings,” and he also knew his sweatpants left little to the imagination. Kurt licked his lips unintentionally as Blaine looked back up at him with much darker eyes.

“Whatever will we do with all this time on our hands?” Kurt asked a little huskily.

Blaine bit his lip to keep himself from whining or outright moaning at the way he was being fucking teased by one Kurt Hummel. He kept his dark as coal eyes on Kurt's face, following the movement of his tongue as it darted out and ran along the seam of his lips. His hand was itching to move, to get closer to what he desperately wanted to touch, but Blaine pressed his fingernails into Kurt's thigh instead. He felt the warmth of Kurt's skin through the thin layer of fabric and, fuck, Kurt had no mercy because Blaine would have needed to be deaf to miss the shameless moan Kurt let out.

Blaine pushed his chair back slightly, the metal cracking against the wooden floor before he rose from his seat to stand between Kurt's legs. He put his hands on either side of Kurt's thighs and leaned into him, his mouth drifting to his ear as he blew soft puffs of air across Kurt's sensitive skin.

“Oh, I don't know...” he hotly whispered into Kurt's ear, his tongue lightly dancing around the shell of his ear. “I think we'll figure something out.” 

It took all of Blaine’s willpower to pull himself back from the inviting warmth and delicious smell of Kurt's skin, but he managed to do so, a feral smile gracing his lips as he stepped out of Kurt's hold. 

“I'll go take a shower now, for example. I’ve heard cold water does wonders for one’s skin.” 

He winked at Kurt, smiling when he caught his eyes, and walked out of the kitchen—sporting a very painful hard-on as he made his way up the stairs. 

Kurt made sure he exaggerated the sigh that came from his mouth when Blaine pushed back from the table. Blaine was a fucking tease and, judging from the smile that played on his face when he turned back around, he knew it, too. It took a lot of self-control to resist following Blaine up the stairs and into the shower to take what he wanted, but he did resist. He didn't follow him because Blaine wanted to take it slow, despite the look in his eyes, despite the way his voice got deeper, and despite…well, Blaine's sweatpants weren’t exactly very concealing, either.  

Kurt fondly watched Blaine climb the stairs, and then he called out, “You do realize we just wasted like 600 seconds!”

Kurt laughed to himself when Blaine stopped and looked down at him, rolling his eyes.

“Enjoy your shower, Blaine; I heard cold showers are good for something else, too.”

 

xxx

 

Blaine throttled back and stopped the bike in front of Quinn’s house, but Kurt didn’t move for a few moments; he clung to Blaine just a little longer, savoring the feeling of his body against the tight muscles in Blaine’s back. He hadn’t really given Blaine an option that night about taking the bike over to Quinn’s house; he’d simply gotten on the bike and waited for Blaine to join him. Blaine took off his helmet as he slowly turned around in Kurt’s hold. One look at Blaine, his cheeks and nose reddened from the wind and his hair sticking out at all angles, but somehow still looking perfect, and Kurt knew exactly why this was becoming one of his favorite pastimes.

He smiled a soft smile, still admiring Blaine shamelessly, as the adrenaline of speeding down empty streets started to wear off. “Fix my hair? I can’t go in there with helmet hair; Santana won’t let me live it down for weeks.”

Blaine gave him a look as if to say, _Really?_ but still turned fully around to give him a hand because, obviously, what Kurt asked for, Kurt would get in this new part of Blaine's life. He ran a hand through Kurt's slightly flattened hair, curling his fingers into a soft caress, and a knowing smile graced his lips as he heard Kurt sigh contentedly. Blaine didn't know how Kurt managed to make everything that came from his mouth sound marvelously obscene, or maybe Blaine was just biased, but it wasn't doing wonders for his already not-so-strong resolve. 

“There you go,” he murmured softly, leaning in to quickly peck Kurt's lips before hopping off the bike. He left their helmets hanging from the handlebars and led Kurt to Quinn's door with one hand on his back. He dragged his fingers down Kurt's back and snugged them into Kurt's belt loop just as Kurt moved to knock on the door, pulling him backwards into his body.

“Be a good boy and don't give Bas a hard time tonight, okay? I don't want to see that constipated look on his face every time you try to flirt with him.” 

Blaine chose not to mention the fact that he really didn't like seeing Kurt being all smiles and flirty with someone else; he gave Kurt's side a squeeze before letting go of him. 

Kurt didn't have a chance to make a witty retort before the door opened and Quinn was wrapping her arms around his neck. He smiled into her hair. Her greetings were his favorite thing about her; you couldn't help but have some of her bubbly personality rub off on you with each hug.

“Kurrrrt! I've missed you! Last week didn't count because Adam was here, and I didn’t get any of my own Kurt time.” Quinn smiled genuinely over at Blaine when she heard him sigh. “Missed you, too, Blaine.”

Kurt winced internally when Quinn brought up Adam, deciding to bring up the breakup after he had a drink in hand. He let Quinn grab his hand after she hugged Blaine, looking outside curiously before shutting the door.

“You guys came on Blaine's bike?”

Blaine shot Kurt a look like he better come up with an excuse as to why they didn't take the Prius, and obviously wanting to be pressed hard against Blaine's body was not an appropriate answer.

“My… um car wouldn't start; so we had to take the death trap.”

Noah walked in, overhearing the conversation; he gave Kurt a bro-hug and then gave both him and Blaine a curious look.

“I thought your dad was like a mechanic; I thought you said you could fix anything.”

Kurt hated being put on the spot, feeling as if everyone was on the verge of finding out and effectively ruining the thing he and Blaine had going on.

“I did, and I can… but well… new pants. I'm not going to ruin these.”

That seemed to appease Noah for now, and Kurt followed everyone into the kitchen, giving Blaine a relieved smile on the way.

Blaine rolled his eyes when he met Sebastian's glance, a shit-eating grin on his friend’s face.

“On babysitting duty again?” he nudged Blaine's shoulder as he passed Sebastian on his way to take a beer from the six-pack on the counter, handing Kurt one before getting another for himself. 

“24/7,” Blaine replied, smirking inwardly at the implication of his words. 

“We already picked the movie since you guys took forever to come over, by the way.” Quinn joined the conversation casually; she took a pizza box and gestured for the others to do the same before heading to living room. 

“Hope Kurt loves horror movies because we're watching _The Texas Chain Saw Massacre_. It's going to be scaaaary!” Santana quipped before following Quinn inside. 

Kurt worried his lip between his teeth and looked over at Blaine as if to ask him to sit next to him during the movie. Kurt really did hate scary movies, but he knew if he had Blaine by his side, he’d feel a lot safer. Blaine nodded, a warm smile coming across his lips before Kurt caught Sebastian in his peripheral vision; he focused his eyes on the pizza, taking a slice.

“For the record, just because of this I’m picking the next movie from my beloved classic musical collection.”

Kurt grabbed the blanket that Noah was wearing like a cape and sat in the chair-and-a-half, making sure there was enough room for Blaine.

Blaine lingered by the coffee table for a while, waiting for everyone to take their seats. Santana and Quinn shared a love seat, while Puck jumped on the comfy floor pillows between the two chairs. Blaine bit his lip when Sebastian started for the empty space next to Kurt, and he had to look away when he saw the way Kurt's face fell. 

Blaine's head jerked up when he heard Sebastian tell Noah to scoot over. Blaine gave Sebastian a quizzical look when he sank down next to Noah, quirking an eyebrow when Sebastian looked back at Blaine with something calculating in his eyes. Blaine sighed exaggeratedly, as if squeezing in the tiny space next to Kurt was the last thing he wanted to do, as he slid under the blanket that Kurt quietly had draped over his lap.

“Will I have to shut you up if I hear you scream?” he whispered into Kurt's ear when the opening credits of the movie started to roll. 

Kurt tried to keep the smirk from forming on his lips as he stretched out, moving slightly closer to Blaine in the process, but not looking at him until he was sure everyone was engrossed in the movie.

“Well, I am quite the screamer...”

Blaine shook his head to himself, a fond smile on his lips as he slid his hand under the blanket and splayed his fingers on Kurt's thigh, lightly squeezing through the cloth of his skinny jeans to feel the skin underneath his fingers. He chuckled out loud when he saw Sebastian jump at something that was playing out on the screen, only to be effectively hushed by Santana's “Quiet, hobbit!” So, instead, he concentrated on all the ways he was pressed against Kurt—thighs pressing into thighs, arms brushing against each other as Blaine moved his hand, dragging his fingers down Kurt's inner thigh, his beer all but forgotten on the coffee table. 

He pressed his thumb into Kurt's inner thigh and, when he heard his sharp intake of breath, turned his head aside to murmur quietly into Kurt's ear, his lips touching at the soft skin of his earlobe. 

“I guess we'll need to find a way to keep you quiet then.” 

It was a huge mistake to look at Blaine as he pulled back after he whispered in Kurt’s ear. In the darkness of the room, Blaine’s eyes seemed to be a deeper, almost chocolate color and he had what could only be called an evil smile on his face—all of which went straight to Kurt’s cock. He raised a curious eyebrow at Blaine who simply turned back to the TV, the cocky smile still on his face. Kurt narrowed his eyes at him; if he was trying to be a tease, Kurt might just kill him before the night was over—that is, if Blaine didn’t kill Kurt with sheer want first.

Kurt tried to keep his focus on the screen and not on Blaine’s hand running up and down the inside of his thigh, or on how Blaine kept licking his plump lips. But it was a hopeless effort really because having Blaine’s hand that close to his dick was even more impossible to ignore than when Blaine stared at him, letting the flecks of gold pierce his soul.

Kurt instinctively tried to squeeze his thighs together when he felt his erection growing, but Blaine’s forceful hand not only kept them separated, but spread them farther apart. Granted, Kurt knew his two thighs were more powerful than one of Blaine’s hands, but the resulting power struggle would have been very evident to everyone in the room. Kurt could only try to endure, but then Blaine trailed his hand directly over his now-sensitive cock, and Kurt couldn’t stop his sudden and very noticeable sharp intake of breath.

“Kurt… It’s not even a scary part yet. You _really_ don’t like scary movies, do you?”

Kurt turned his head sharply at Quinn’s question, having no idea what she was talking about. They could have been watching a blank screen, and Kurt wouldn’t have known, but he tried to recover the best he could as Blaine’s hand froze where it was.

“Yeah… uh, I guess I was just building it up too much. Don’t worry; I’ll be all right, buttercup.”

When Quinn turned back to the movie, Kurt whispered into Blaine’s ear.

“I hate you.”

Blaine just chuckled into his ear in return, raising goose bumps all along Kurt’s arm that he could actually feel as their arms lightly brushed against each other.

“Oh god, Kurt really?” he whispered furiously, causing everyone to turn to look over at them. 

“Okay, fine—you can cuddle me at the scary parts,” Blaine continued, still using same whispering tone that was intended to be heard by everyone else, biting his lip to keep himself from grinning at the glare Kurt was giving him. It was okay, though. Now Blaine had an excuse to touch Kurt all be wanted—okay, maybe not _all_ he wanted because he didn't really have an exhibitionist kink—but at least he kind of justified the intimate positions they probably were going to be in all through the movie. 

Blaine dragged his hand up from where it had been stroking Kurt’s crotch with barely-there touches to rest it hot and heavy against Kurt’s flat stomach instead. He could practically feel the flushed and overheated skin through the fabric of Kurt's t-shirt, and the way he smelled, all citrusy and woodsy mixed with Kurt's natural scent, was making Blaine's mouth water and his whole body buzz with wanting more. Blaine didn't know if it was healthy to feel and want and need so much just by having Kurt nearby, but he was pretty much past caring. 

He scrunched up Kurt's t-shirt and flattened out his fingers on the soft skin, his thumb stroking low near Kurt's tattoo as his palm rested hot and possessive on Kurt's side.

“Do you even know what you do to me?” Blaine whispered, his voice low and raspy, a shiver running down his spine at the almost silent moan that escaped Kurt's lips. “You don't even have to _do_ anything. Just one look at you, and I lose my mind from how much I want you.” 

Kurt took a cue from Santana when she jumped and hid her face into Quinn; assuming it was a scary part, he took the opportunity to grab Blaine's bicep and bury his head into his side. Kurt could hear Blaine's heartbeat pick up, but as he pulled back, he saw Blaine looking at him and not the movie which made Kurt feel as if his own heart was beating erratically. He didn't let go of Blaine's arm right way; instead, he pulled him even closer so that he could breathe right in Blaine’s ear, his lips brushing against the flesh while keeping an eye on everyone else, hoping no one would turn around.

“Oh, I think I could guess... One touch from you and my body goes crazy… it's on fire now.”

Blaine felt like his skin was too tight and his nerves frayed as Kurt's lips touched his skin, his breath making goose bumps break out at the nape of his neck. Blaine could actually feel the fire Kurt had mentioned; he could feel it at his fingertips where they were digging into Kurt's firm skin; he could feel it through their jean-clad thighs pressing against each other and from the hot puffs of air Kurt was breathing into his flesh. What had he been thinking when he told Kurt they should take this slow? God, he wanted anything and everything Kurt was willing to give to him!

He tilted his head back slightly so Kurt could bury his face in his shoulder more easily when the opportunity presented itself, and slowly, very slowly, slipped his fingers under the waistband of Kurt's jeans, tracing the slight trail of fine hair leading downwards with his thumb, heart racing in his chest.

“Shh,” he whispered when Kurt panted out sharply. “I want to be the only one hearing those noises you make.” 

Kurt bit his lip and nodded quickly. He rested his hand on the blanket where it covered Blaine's leg, trying to appear nonchalant when all he wanted was to just dig his fingers into Blaine's flesh as he tried to stifle the moans he felt building up. Blaine's hand continued to slide farther down, excruciatingly slowly, stopping altogether every time someone else looked over in their general direction. If this was what Blaine meant by taking it slow, it was sweet, sweet torture.  

Kurt acted like he was stretching, lifting his hips into Blaine's hand and sighing in relief when his hard-on brushed Blaine's fingers. Kurt heard Blaine's surprised gasp, and Sebastian’s and Noah's heads whipped around to look at them. Kurt smirked and patted Blaine's leg.

“Awww… looks like I'm not the only one who's scared.”

Noah laughed and turned towards the TV and, after a confused look, so did Sebastian. Kurt whispered into Blaine's ear, “You've gotta be quiet, too, sweetheart.”

Blaine swallowed a groan and dragged his fingers back out of Kurt's jeans, but only because they were too tight to let him go any farther. Once outside Kurt’s skin-tight pants but still beneath the blanket, he curled his hand around Kurt’s bulge, feeling the full weight and warmth of it beneath his fingers, his own erection getting painfully hard just from that touch—and at the thought of feeling Kurt, bare skin against bare skin, while kissing him in places he had only fanaticized about.

“Make me,” he whimpered into Kurt’s ear, teeth grazing over the shell before he soothed it with his tongue. “God, you're _so_ hard for me.”

Kurt wanted to whine when Blaine removed his hand from the inside of his jeans, but then— _oh—_ when Blaine started fondling his cock…even if it was outside…still, it was the first time Kurt ever wished he wore baggy pants because if it felt that good.... Geez, if he was willing to make poor fashion choices, he really did have it bad. Beneath the blanket, he moved his hand across Blaine's belly and down to Blaine's own erection. He bit back a smile, knowing this all was because of him and with a sense of _turnabout’s fair play,_ he lightly squeezed and stroked, feeling it twitch in his hand.

Kurt took advantage of a particularly intense part of the movie and kissed right behind Blaine's ear before speaking in a lower octave as he palmed Blaine.

“When we get home, I want you to be as loud as you want. _God B_... I'm dyin’ here.”

Blaine closed his eyes and bit back another moan, his lower lip swollen from how much he’d had to dig his teeth into it to keep quiet. He took a deep breath and pulled his hand back from Kurt's lap and from beneath the blanket, putting it on his own lap over the blanket instead. He shifted slightly so Kurt would get with the program, too, and take his hand back. There was no way they’d survive the whole movie if they kept this up. Besides, they might have a blanket over them, but some things were just too hard to miss. Sebastian was already starting to get jittery and antsy and kept giving them looks every time they talked in whispers. He just hoped it would seem as if he and Kurt were whispering some movie commentary to each other; otherwise so much for this being their little secret. 

He started to relax when his breathing slowed down and he could feel himself soften a little in his pants, albeit very slowly; he felt even more relieved when he recognized the final scene just before the movie ended. They just needed to get the fuck out of here, and they needed to do it quick.

As the credits started to roll, Kurt murmured under his breath, “Oh, thank god!” and stood up before anyone else had a chance to move. Everyone gave him a weird look as they all slowly pulled themselves out of their movie-watching positions, Quinn slowly unwrapping her arms from around Santana, Mike throwing the pillow he had been clutching during the scary parts at Noah, who had fallen asleep on and effectively drooled all over Sebastian, who was nudging him awake—and then there was Blaine, looking up at him with a knowing smirk.

“What? I needed to stretch. Blaine had me so crowded on that chair I think my arm fell asleep.”

He noticed Noah's half asleep curious look followed up by a long yawn; Kurt took that as a cue and faked a yawn because, let's be honest, sleep was the last thing on his mind.

“Scary movie or no scary movie, it's a miracle I didn't fall asleep like Noah. I'm exhausted.”

Kurt raised his eyebrows and looked right at Blaine when he said “exhausted,” hoping he would get the hint. 

Blaine rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, schooling his features into an unamused expression as he rose. 

“Okay guys, gotta go while the baby is still awake. How about watching _The Nanny Diaries_ next time? I feel like I can relate to that.” He made sure to send a glare at Kurt but quickly looked away when he saw Kurt stick his tongue at him. They’d gotten this far; now wasn't the time to crack a laugh because of his ridiculously adorable face and ruin it all. 

They said their goodbyes; Quinn hugged them both, and Santana ruffled Blaine’s hair while kissing Kurt on the cheek. Blaine waited somewhat impatiently for Kurt to finish his bro high five with Noah at the patio.

“Be careful, you guys,” Sebastian warned, pointing to Blaine's bike; however, his eyes never left Blaine's as he spoke, fixing him with a heavy and contemplative stare. Blaine nodded shortly and looked beyond Sebastian, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw Kurt walking out. 

Kurt didn't realize how fast he was walking until he got to the bike while Blaine was still walking down the driveway. And, of course, the moonlight just _had_ to hit him right at that moment and make him look so irresistible, lighting him like he was some kind of curly-haired angel, but the look in his eyes when he reached the bike was anything but angelic. Blaine walked around to the other side of the bike and looked back at Kurt, smiling a devilishly crooked smile as he slid his hands in his back pockets. Only the fact that the bike separated them kept Kurt from jumping him right then and there. He was either being a tease or Kurt wanted him so bad at this point that Blaine could so much as wiggle a finger, and Kurt would be sporting a boner—and why the hell did they not live next door? Kurt grabbed Blaine's helmet from the handlebars and tossed it to him.

“Let's go. _Now_.”

Blaine smirked at the eagerness in Kurt's voice, buckling his helmet quickly before straddling the bike and making a big show of sticking his ass out as he did so. 

“Hop on!” he called out to Kurt as he jumped on the kick-starter. 

He gripped the handlebars tightly when he felt Kurt snug himself up against his ass, arms wrapped around his waist under the thin fabric of Blaine's shirt, his face pressed into the back of Blaine's shoulder and neck, hugging him more tightly than he really needed to. Blaine forced himself to loosen his grip a little, knowing that he didn’t want to over-control the bike as they rode, and pulled onto the street.

It was everything Blaine didn't even know he needed—to feel Kurt's firm fingers pressing into his bare skin and the way he could feel the hard outline of Kurt’s crotch practically pressed into his ass, Blaine’s whole body felt alive from Kurt’s presence and from the vibration and speed of the bike as they battled a slight headwind as they passed over the tiny bridge on the way back to their place. 

Kurt splayed his fingers across Blaine’s stomach, tracing the outlines of his abs, feeling them flex every time he leaned into a turn as they flew past the campus, all the buildings and lights mixing together. He tightened his grip when Blaine veered off to take a shortcut and increased his speed, causing them to both lean forward just slightly. Seeing the ground pass underneath so quickly and the roar of the bike down the otherwise quiet street felt so dangerous, and the adrenaline seemed to course from Kurt’s fingertips all the way through his entire body. It was almost a mirror image of what it felt like to be with Blaine; maybe that was why it was so addicting. Six months ago he wouldn’t have taken these kinds of risks, either with his safety or with his heart, but now that he knew how it felt, he knew he wanted it to continue, and there was no turning back.

Blaine slowed the bike as they finally pulled into their driveway, and Kurt dropped his hands to Blaine’s thighs, moving them slowing up and down as Blaine turned off the bike. Almost before Blaine got the kickstand down, Kurt kissed and nibbled Blaine’s shoulder blades through his thin t-shirt, feeling Blaine’s chest rise and fall as he spoke into the fabric as he continued to glide his hands up Blaine’s thighs to his waist, pushing up his shirt so he could feel those muscles once again.

“God, you are so sexy when you ride.”

Blaine wasn’t aware of unbuckling his helmet and letting it fall from his hand to the ground; he was only aware—hyper-aware—of Kurt's hands wandering restlessly on his skin, of his warm breath on his neck, in his ear, and of his uttering words that made Blaine's brain short-circuit—”you're so sexy when you _ride_ ”—as well as the way Kurt was pretty much grinding against Blaine's ass. Blaine's whole body, from his hairline to his toes, was ringing with the intense pressure of pure _want_ that had settled over him.

It was a dark, heady feeling, making Blaine so careless with lust that he didn't even think as he twisted his neck around to finally get at Kurt's mouth, which dropped open almost immediately, eagerly and oh-so-willingly accepting the tongue Blaine swiped into the wet heat of his mouth. Blaine shifted to kiss Kurt more urgently, one of his hands tugging at Kurt’s side, fingernails digging into skin, and his other hand grabbing the back of Kurt's head, pressing them together even more firmly. When the need for air was too urgent to ignore, he attached his mouth to Kurt's neck, sucking in air as he dragged his tongue along the smooth length of it. 

“I wanted you every second we were there,” he mouthed into Kurt's neck, traveling the long length of it and sinking his teeth into the delicate skin beneath the collar of Kurt's shirt. “ _Fuck_ , you don't even _know_...”

Kurt pulled back a little and looked at Blaine with lust-filled eyes. Placing a hand on Blaine’s shoulder, he swung his leg off the bike, smiling slyly at Blaine's questioning expression and his reach to bring Kurt back onto the bike with him. Kurt didn't waste any time getting back on the bike, or rather on Blaine. Kurt scooted Blaine back on the bike and straddled him. He surged forward, attacking his waiting lips as if they hadn't been on his just moments ago. Kurt spoke between quick and much-needed breaths.

“I...just...fuck! I wanted to do this the whole movie. You can't be such a tease… I thought... I thought I was going to explode!”

Blaine grabbed Kurt by his thighs and pulled him into his body even more tightly, moaning into Kurt's mouth when their hard-ons rubbed against each other, his entire body jolting at the friction. He slid his hand under Kurt's ass, his fingernails digging into the perky flesh even through the tight jeans.

“Let me...” he breathed heavily into the crook of Kurt's neck, pressing his hips forward, biting into Kurt’s shoulder, muffling another moan, “…let me make you feel so good, Kurt... Fuck, tell me I can, baby...” 

Kurt couldn't even form words. The friction was too good, Blaine's tongue trailing up to Kurt's pulse point too hot; so he just nodded as emphatically as he could. When Blaine's mouth found _that_ spot on his neck, he moaned loudly and desperately grabbed his arm.

“Yes... _Please,_ Blaine. God, you can do whatever you _want_ to me.” 

Blaine almost growled at Kurt's words and at how eagerly he let Blaine in. He wrapped Kurt's legs tightly around his waist before swinging his leg off the bike. It was wandering hands, clicking teeth, and bumping noses until they finally staggered into the house, the key still dangling on the doorknob. Blaine pushed Kurt up against the door as soon as it was closed, swallowing up the nearly constant and exceedingly hot moans that escaped Kurt's lips. His hips snapped forward in time to Kurt's thrusts, and he couldn't wrap his mind around how _fucking good_ it felt even with the layers of fabric between them. 

“Shit! Shit… Kurt… no…” he panted out when Kurt grabbed his ass, pressing himself even more closely into Blaine's body. “Not here… I want you in my bed!” 

Panting heavily, Kurt gave Blaine's ass a hard squeeze before dropping his hands, palms flat against the door, his hips pointing out at Blaine. Regaining at least some of his composure, he gave Blaine what he hoped was his best seductive look.

“So take me…”

Blaine almost did—right then and there. His cock was throbbing painfully in his pants at the smoldering look Kurt was giving him, eyes hooded, lips parted, hair a beautiful mess. It was like Blaine was a starving man, and Kurt was an open buffet; he didn't know where to start first—where to look, touch, feel, _breathe, taste_.

He was rough when he picked Kurt up, throwing him over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry as he headed for the stairs. Kurt laughed out loud when Blaine pinched his ass cheek as he started up the steps. They both got quiet once Blaine walked them into his room and laid Kurt down on his bed, Kurt looking up at him with wide, expectant eyes, his chest rising and falling rapidly. 

“Look at you,” Blaine whispered in awe, getting on his knees on the bed. He straddled Kurt's thighs, his hands trembling as he pushed Kurt’s t-shirt up, leaning down to pepper kisses all over the exposed skin on Kurt's chest. “Fuck! You're _gorgeous_.” 

The overwhelming urgency that had gotten them to this point was a fantastic blur. Earlier, Kurt's sheer _wanting_ had taken over, and he was ready to be taken, whether on the bike or the wall or really anywhere Blaine would have him. But now that they were in Blaine's bed, things suddenly got much more serious and much more real. Each kiss that Blaine pressed into Kurt's bare skin created goose bumps along his arms and around his nipples. Kurt let out a shaky breath when Blaine called him gorgeous because it was still a little unbelievable to him that this insanely beautiful human being believed he was that special. Kurt propped himself up on his elbows to watch Blaine kiss down his body, catching his eyes mid-kiss.

Looking up at Kurt, Blaine paused, taking a slow, deep breath as he waited to see what Kurt had in mind, a little concerned that he might be having second thoughts.

“I had to get a better look, make sure I'm not dreaming about this. _God_ , Blaine...”

Blaine closed his lips around Kurt's right nipple at that, tugging at it with his teeth as if to reassure Kurt that this was real and happening. He grabbed the nape of Kurt's neck, lifting him up a little more before taking his shirt off completely, leaving him in his all half-naked glory. Blaine’s eyes fell on the spot where the blackbirds were winging their way up Kurt’s torso, his thumb softly outlining their shapes. He heard more than felt the rustling of Kurt tugging at his own shirt and lifted his arms up, letting Kurt work it over and then off his head before sinking into the tattooed skin again, this time tracing each blackbird with the tip of his tongue, eyes drinking up the sight of black ink on a creamy skin.

“I've thought about this _a lot_ ,” he murmured into Kurt's skin, “even when I shouldn't have. I just couldn't help myself.” 

He could feel the perfect smoothness of Kurt's skin against his own flesh, as well as the heat between them, blood warm and humming beneath their skins, as Blaine continued to cover every inch of Kurt's tattoo with his lips and tongue, while Kurt's fingers traced the angles of his shoulder blades. But more than anything, he could feel the solid weight of Kurt's erection, pressing against his chest and twitching every time Blaine dragged his tongue down towards Kurt's navel.

He looked up at Kurt through thick eyelashes, hand hovering over the waistband of Kurt's jeans, his fingers ghosting over Kurt as he grew beneath his hand.

“Can I…I ...” he bit his lips when Kurt thrust into his hand without a warning, breathing out an almost silent _fuck_ , his voice rough and low in the dead silence of the room. “Is this okay?”

Kurt sat up and hauled Blaine to his mouth by the back of his head, kissing him deep and hard, following it up with a slower sweet kiss before pulling back just enough for Blaine to see his eyes, keeping his fingers tangled in his hair.

“ _So_ okay, Blaine! I want it… I want _you_.”

Blaine eyes lingered on his for a space of several heartbeats, making Kurt's own heart feel as if it was trying to beat its way out of his chest. But if Blaine was searching for any sign of hesitation, he wouldn't find any—especially with Blaine on top of him, looking at him like this. Eventually Blaine saw the confirmation he was seeking and placed a heated kiss to Kurt's lips before moving quickly, almost ripping the button off Kurt's pants.

Blaine cursed under his breath when he couldn't slip Kurt's jeans and briefs down as easily as he wanted. He had such conflicting feelings about those jeans—they looked fantastic on Kurt, but also they were in the way of everything Blaine was dying to see and touch. He tugged at them more firmly until Kurt, laughing softly, lifted his hips, which helped immensely.

Leaving the briefs for now, he pulled the pants down Kurt's legs but came to an abrupt halt when he encountered Kurt’s shoes. Kurt and Blaine shared a private giggle as neither of them had thought of things like shoes and socks in the heat of the moment. Blaine leaned down to untie the shoes and slip them off along with Kurt’s socks, kicking off his own shoes in the process. Although Blaine made even taking off shoes seem sexy, Kurt was glad when Blaine finally finished and returned his attention to his pants.

Blaine paused when, _at last_ , Kurt was laid out, almost completely naked, his body long, lean, and narrow except for the deliciously wide shoulders and all that pale skin, now taking a very beautiful tone of pink under Blaine's intense stare, in turn making the blood in Blaine's veins run wild. Blaine wanted to _eat_ _him alive_. 

Kurt’s breath caught, and he forced himself to take slow, deep breaths as Blaine’s eyes slowly traveled all over his body. He’d never felt so exposed…and desired…yet also so… appreciated, so valued…as if he truly mattered to this incredibly complex man. Kurt’s breaths came fast and shallow when Blaine’s eyes seemed to lock on his bulging briefs, but he forgot to breath altogether when Blaine’s gaze suddenly shifted to his own, and he felt pierced to his very soul with the intensity—the lust and desire—but something more, something not yet definable—of those amber-hued eyes staring into his. Kurt consciously chose to focus on the here and now of Blaine’s desire for him, and his desire for Blaine. His own eyes became mirrors to Blaine’s, reflecting back the _want_ lying heavily within them both.

Blaine kept Kurt's heavy gaze while stripping down to his boxers. He finally broke eye contact, returning his gaze to the body of the beautiful young man who languidly stretched himself out before him, as if asking, _well, where do you want to start?_

He sat back on his knees and took one of Kurt's legs in his hands, starting a trail of kisses from the ankle to his thigh, licking and sucking and mouthing kisses along the whole length of his leg before burying his face between Kurt's inner thighs, alternating between barely-there kisses and bruising bites. Just when Kurt's moans started to get loud and the movements of his hips became frantic, Blaine switched to the other leg, taking the same teasing routine, hands holding Kurt's hips firmly, keeping him still—relatively speaking. 

“Tell me,” he exhaled against the cloth covering Kurt’s hardened flesh, tracing the curve of Kurt's v-line with his nose. “Tell me what you want, baby boy.”

Kurt was already a mess, and this was just a preview of things to come. Blaine was driving him crazy with each touch and with each kiss; he knew he wanted this to last forever, but he also felt he’d be lucky if it lasted more than a couple of minutes, the way his body was already trembling.

He wasn't used to this, being looked at like he was the most special person on earth and there was nothing in the world Blaine wanted more, with such passion and pure want. These were all things that he hadn’t realized he was missing, but now that he saw what he could have with Blaine, it felt as if his life was just now beginning. It was overwhelming in the best way possible.

“I…I... Shit, Blaine! I need to feel what that beautiful mouth feels like around me. Fuck B, I need it _now_!”

Blaine groaned at Kurt's words, burying his face in the crease of Kurt’s thigh. The way Kurt sounded, so desperate and utterly turned on, was driving Blaine crazy. He wanted so desperately just to _take,_ but even more, he realized he wanted to _give._ He pulled back slightly, just enough to mouth over the cloth covering Kurt's cock, breathing hotly through the fabric. Kurt groaned and grabbed at Blaine’s hair, curling his fingers in and pulling his face in closer. Blaine sucked and breathed through the fabric, mouthing Kurt with lips and little teases of his teeth.

“ _Blaaaiinnnne…_ ” Kurt whined, thrusting up with his hips. Abruptly, the hands were gone from Blaine’s hair, and Kurt was frantically trying to shove his briefs down, even though Blaine’s mouth was latched onto his cock. Blaine took hold of Kurt’s hands and held them still against the mattress at his sides. He tongued through the fabric once more, patted Kurt’s hands to get the message across that they were to remain at his sides, and proceeded to slowly remove the offending apparel.

Kurt watched Blaine’s eyes as they flicked back and forth between his eyes and his cock, as if he was undecided which sight was more enticing. Then Blaine surged forward, kissing Kurt with unexpected fierceness, his tongue making rapid and deep thrusts into Kurt’s eager mouth. Just as abruptly, his mouth was gone from Kurt’s lips and was moving—first quickly, then slowly, then quickly again and repeat—down Kurt’s neck and chest and nipples— _oh_ —and stomach and…

Blaine gave a final glance at Kurt’s face, only to see his eyes fluttering open and closed, his head thrown back, and a distinct smile upon his lips. Knowing he had a similar smile on his own lips, he began to repeat his earlier dance, first breathing warm breaths upon this beautiful boy’s cock, only this time with no barrier between it and his lips.

Kurt tried to hold still, really he did. But he couldn’t help but twitch and shiver a little as Blaine breathed on him. He bit his lip at the first touch of Blaine’s lips—both in frustration and relief.

He opened his mouth to speak, but only unintelligible sounds emerged when Blaine started licking up and down the sides of his cock with the flat of his tongue, twisting around the shaft, slowly at first. But when Kurt grabbed his head and started to tug at his hair, and his breathing started to get even heavier, Blaine finally sank his mouth completely over Kurt's cock, as if he was trying to swallow him whole.

Kurt’s first reaction was to try to thrust up, but Blaine was ready for him and held his hips as firmly as he could, digging his fingers in just enough to bring Kurt back to full awareness. Gasping, Kurt finally opened his eyes more fully, watching with dark, half-lidded eyes as Blaine hollowed his cheeks, finally giving in and sucking Kurt as hard and fast as he could, bobbing his head up and down Kurt's length as his hand played with Kurt’s balls, rolling them between his fingers.

Blaine could almost get off like this, just by the way Kurt arched off the bed when he hit the very back of Blaine's throat, the way his fingernails were digging into his scalp, and from hearing the desperate tone of Kurt’s voice as he called Blaine's name over and over again. Blaine had never been with someone so responsive, and this was only the beginning. Kurt was simply going to be the death of him, and at that moment Blaine couldn't think of a better way to go.

Blaine was magic. That was the only thing that made sense in Kurt's deliriously jumbled mind. He knew the exact way to move his hand to create the most beautiful friction, the exact moment to moan or hum around Kurt's leaking member, and the precise way to look at Kurt and make him feel so wanted yet so safe. Biting his lip harder, Kurt tightened his grip in Blaine's hair and tried to....

“No, no, nonono...” he gasped.

Blaine's head popped up, his eyes widening, almost pulling completely off before Kurt pushed his head back down, maybe a little too forcefully, before shaking his head, breathing fast.

“Fuck, k-keep doing exactly w-what you're doing. I…fucking hell, Blaine!...I was talking to m-myself! I'm close... _shit!_ but I don't want to b-be!”

Blaine chuckled softly around Kurt and sank down further onto the now very slick and leaking cock, alternating between taking him all the way in his mouth and sticking his tongue out to lick Kurt’s balls as he continued to move up and down on his hard shaft. The sounds Kurt made, the way he didn't seem to be able to stay still, was almost making Blaine high. He knew Kurt was trying to control himself, but Blaine didn't want him to try to control his movements, didn't want him to hold anything back; so he slid his hands underneath Kurt's ass and grabbed handfuls of both ass cheeks, pressing him into his mouth harder.

He looked up and locked eyes with Kurt, whose ankles were wrapped around the back of Blaine's thighs. Blaine could feel the tremor running through Kurt's body. He tried to relax his throat and nodded at Kurt with dark eyes, giving him permission to fuck his mouth, use it however he wanted. Kurt didn't waste a single moment; before he was even aware of what he was doing, he was pulling at Blaine's hair and thrusting frantically into the wet heat of Blaine's mouth.

Blaine felt he could do this for ages, and it would never be enough. He'd never felt this close to anyone—to Kurt—before. Yeah, it might seem like having someone's dick down your throat would do that to you—but it was the way Kurt was letting Blaine see him at his most vulnerable, the way he didn't even care about begging for more as if he knew Blaine would give him whatever he wanted.

And the sight of him—eyes tightly shut, his lower lip between his teeth, his back arching off the bed as he spread his legs even farther apart without any sense of shame—Blaine felt as if his heart was literally swelling in his chest. Kurt was so beautiful it hurt—in the very best way imaginable.

Kurt felt his orgasm begin to take over his entire body, and it was the most intense thing he had ever experienced—like an earthquake shattering him completely apart. And like an earthquake, it rolled over and over him, leaving him so satiated, with small aftershocks of tremors as Blaine sucked and licked him clean.

Although it was hard—no, nearly impossible—to form a coherent thought, he knew it had _never_ been like this before, not even close. The way Blaine let him use his mouth like that, the way he took it so well, the way he made it very obvious how much he enjoyed all of it—the way he made him _feel—_ it all just made this mind-blowing experience that much better.

Once the intensity and the aftershocks subsided a little and Kurt was able to open his eyes, he looked down to see Blaine still between his legs, staring at him in fascination while gently licking up and down the sides of his softening cock as if he didn't want to miss anything or maybe just couldn’t quite stop. Kurt couldn't handle how beautifully wrecked he looked at that moment, his hair a total mess from where Kurt had pulled and grabbed, his face flushed and his lips glistening with the remnants of him. He pulled Blaine up to his chest, smiling a sated smile before kissing him, wanting to taste both Blaine and himself on his lips and in his mouth.

He could feel how hard Blaine was as he leaned against his thigh, and although he was completely sated, he felt that warm feeling in the pit of his stomach—Blaine was hard _for him_. For the moment, he let Blaine control the kisses, partially because he was still trying to recover from the orgasm of his life and partly because he wanted Blaine to just take whatever he wanted. It seemed only fair, after all. It was pretty fucking adorable, too, because Kurt could tell by the urgency of the kisses and the hard press of Blaine's body against his that he needed his release bad, but Kurt could also tell he was also trying to hold back, not wanting to take too much.

Kurt thrust his hips to meet Blaine's and pulled him down against his naked body, while simultaneously pulling Blaine’s boxers down over his cock and his ass, throwing them aside. Although still soft, Kurt’s own cock twitched at the moan this elicited from Blaine, and he continued to thrust under Blaine while whispering and nipping at his ear.

“God, you feel so _big_ , Blaine... Is that all because of me, handsome?” 

Blaine groaned throatily in response, his hands skimming up and down Kurt's sides as he dragged his teeth over Kurt's collarbone, sucking at his skin. It felt as if every single inch of his torso was pressed against Kurt's, and he had to bite back a moan when he felt Kurt's already returning hard-on pressed firmly against his thigh. His mind struggled to comprehend the fact that _he, Blaine_ , did that to him; _he_ made Kurt start to harden so soon after he’d just orgasmed, and it was blowing Blaine's mind. 

Blaine leaned forward and smashed their lips together, sucking Kurt's lower lip into his mouth as he rolled his hips down harder, growling lowly into Kurt's mouth as they rubbed against each other.

“How the fuck are you even real?” he panted, his lips now attached to Kurt's jaw and neck, his teeth scraping against Kurt's skin. “I can't fucking wait until I'm inside you. I bet you'll feel perfect. I bet you’ll feel like you were made for me.”

Blaine pressed down more insistently, encouraged by the noises escaping Kurt's lips and the way Kurt was digging his nails into Blaine's back as they desperately frotted against each other.

“God, the noises you make, Kurt! _Fuck!_ You have no idea…” Blaine spoke lowly against Kurt's sweaty skin, getting more crazed with each thrust and with each new sound Kurt was making. He couldn't even remember the last time he let himself talk—dirty or otherwise—all the way through having sex, but with Kurt it was different—he just didn't seem to be able to stop.

“I love how fucking responsive you are. You make me want to ravage every inch of you, taste you all over!” he mumbled into Kurt's shoulder, unable to hold back the moans spilling from his mouth as their cocks continued to slick against each other, wetly gliding, his skin sliding along Kurt's, thighs pressing and rubbing, their chests sliding together, heated and damp with sweat, and Blaine loved how dirty it all felt.

Kurt didn't think it was possible to be this hard again, to be this turned on again, but hearing Blaine talk about being inside him while their cocks rubbed deliciously against each other—he was already on the verge of another mind-blowing orgasm. Kurt's hands slipped down Blaine's slick back, grabbing and squeezing his ass before pulling him down and holding him tightly against his body. Their long, heavy thrusts soon turned into smaller, but more intense and frenetic movements.

“Right there, B! _Oh shit_! You feel so fucking _good_!”

He loved that Blaine didn't treat him like this fragile person; there was biting and licking and sweat. Everything was so urgent, so needed, and it was so fucking _hot_. Kurt could feel the pre-cum leaking from Blaine onto his stomach, and by the desperate moans and erratic thrusts, he could tell Blaine was close. Kurt brought Blaine’s face to his and swallowed one of his moans as he captured Blaine in a messy but thorough kiss, biting his lip hard.

“Let go, gorgeous. I wanna see what I do to you. I'm right here with you. _Do it, baby! Come for me!_ ”

Up until that point, Blaine knew he was edging so much closer even as his mind was screaming for a little more. But Kurt’s words, his breathy voice—that did it. He could feel the way his balls tightened, pre-cum dripping out of his cock as Kurt pressed desperate kisses all over his face, his mouth frantic, as if wanting to devour Blaine.

Blaine wanted this to last; he never wanted it to end, but watching Kurt orgasm a second time, crying out in pleasure, his eyebrows scrunched up, his eyes squeezed shut and lips parted as he let out a constant stream of “Blaine!” was another unworldly experience. He followed Kurt seconds after, his whole body feeling like it was burning from inside out as he exploded all over Kurt's stomach, their cum mixing together as Blaine rode through his orgasm.

“Fuck, that was so hot!” he finally panted as he collapsed on top of Kurt; face buried in Kurt's neck, and shuddering in pleasure. “ _You_ were so fucking hot.”

Kurt kissed the top of Blaine's hair, breathing heavily, inhaling the smell of sweat and vanilla and raspberry and, god, did he wish he could bottle that scent. He knew they should clean up—he knew they were filthy—but Kurt couldn't bother himself to care, especially when Blaine looked at him completely spent and completely—dare he say it—happy.

“You are a god, you know that? Jesus Christ, Blaine! That felt like one perpetual orgasm!”

Blaine settled himself between Kurt's legs, smearing the cum on their stomachs and chests even more, and not giving a damn about it as he looked down at Kurt with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Does that mean you worship me now?”

Kurt chuckled and wrapped his arms and legs around Blaine.

“Don't get too full of yourself, old man... But make that happen a couple more times, and I just may not have a choice.”

Blaine grinned and rolled his hips down lazily, kissing the adorable pout off Kurt's lips when he scrunched his nose. He carded his fingers through Kurt's hair, smiling at the contented sigh that escaped Kurt's lips as he looked deep in those azure eyes.

“Well, then, I guess we should practice.”

Kurt smiled and trailed his fingers slowly down Blaine's arm.

“I thought we were.”


	10. Chapter 10

_“My love is selfish. How else would I be able to keep you all to myself? You are a star that outlines millions of others and as much as I adore your brilliance, I am obliged to hide you in an embrace so tight out of fear that others would see what I see and fall for your too.”_

-          _Nurul_

 

Blaine, maybe for the fifth time since Kurt got dressed and asked him how he was looking for the night, had to avert his gaze from the lower part of Kurt's body, which was making heads turn as they eased into the club. It wasn’t that Blaine was so jealous he couldn't stand the thought of others looking at Kurt the way he thought only he was allowed to; it was mostly that Blaine knew he, himself, couldn't look either. And there was just so fucking much to look at. Kurt looked edible in those tight, white jeans hugging his assets like a second skin, the top buttons of his dark blue shirt left unbuttoned, the exposed, milky skin underneath providing just the right amount of teasing, and even the way his bare ankles looked in those burgundy loafers was driving Blaine mental. 

It wasn't the first time they were meeting others since they decided to be... uh, _them_ , but it was the first time they were seeing others since the night he and Kurt shared in his bed, followed by a lazy morning with lots of cuddles and kisses. Blaine was still surprised how simple it all was; Kurt asked if he could stay the night, and Blaine said he still wanted his morning coffee, and then there they were, wrapped up in each other's arms like it was something they were used to, like it was no big deal. Blaine so very easily adapted to the way they were just being themselves around each other—to the comfortable silences, easy smiles and effortless touches—that now he was seriously nervous about just cracking at something, anything, and exposing their cover.

Individually, they were still the same Kurt and Blaine, both very stubborn and sometimes pointlessly sarcastic, but it was completely something else when they were _Kurt-and-Blaine_ , and now Blaine knew what that meant, and he was going to have to make an extra effort to act like he didn't. If it had been only him, he would have just found an excuse and told Quinn he wasn't feeling good so they would just have to do without him, but Kurt fucking beamed as soon as Santana said “night out” and “dance” and “drink” and, well, Blaine was only now discovering he was pretty weak against Kurt's smile. 

He grabbed Kurt by the hips just before they made their way over to the table Quinn had texted them about and pulled him close. He leaned in, speaking loudly in Kurt's ear to be heard over the blaring music.

“We aren't doing it again, okay? Not tonight. No playing footsie under the table. No teasing. No fucking touching. I mean it, Kurt! I really can't tonight.” 

Kurt thought about making a witty comeback, something about not being able to resist Blaine's manly pheromones, which wasn't exactly entirely too far off from how Kurt was feeling these days, but Blaine looked dead serious; so Kurt gave Blaine's side a reassuring squeeze before he parted their bodies and they reached the table where everyone had already arrived. They greeted them separately, Kurt giving overly-excited hugs to the girls, doing the mandatory bro five with Noah, and a wave and smile over to Sebastian across the table. Kurt watched Blaine make the rounds and, finally deciding it best not to sit next to Blaine, he squeezed in between Noah and a cute Asian girl who Mike brought to introduce to everyone. Kurt focused his attention on the interrogation she was receiving from the others while he tried to ignore Sebastian, who had immediately started pointing out sexy men throughout the bar to Blaine. Kurt nudged the new girl, Tina, with his shoulder and smiled a genuine smile when she looked at him with a worried and slightly overwhelmed look.

“Don't stress too much; they're harmless. Every newbie has to go through this. But truth is, if Mike thinks you’re good enough to meet his friends, you're already in. Oh, and I’m Kurt, by the way.”

He heard Tina let out a relieved sigh, and he laughed, giving Mike the thumbs up.

Blaine had chosen a seat next to Sebastian but still within complete sightline with Kurt. Kurt could see Sebastian going on and on about something, but it didn't seem like Blaine was paying attention because it seemed all his focus, those beautiful hazel eyes, were all on Kurt. Kurt smiled a sweet smile as his heart swelled in his chest and mouthed to Blaine across the table to _stop staring_. 

Blaine blinked quickly, embarrassed at getting caught staring at Kurt; he averted his gaze to Sebastian, giving him his full attention as he felt his cheeks get warmer. He was a 26-year-old grown-up, for god's sake, and the way Kurt threw his head back and exposed the line of his neck when he laughed, or the way he licked his lips after taking a sip from his glass shouldn't have been this fascinating. Now that he’d decided to throw caution to the wind and just be with Kurt in any way he could until their time was over, he was getting bolder with his want, his _need_ for this gorgeous young man who’d managed to get under his skin without even trying. 

Just because they’d come clean to each other about their feelings didn't mean they still didn't need to pretend around others, and it was getting on Blaine's nerves that he had to act as if he was annoyed by everything Kurt had to say when it was actually the opposite. 

Blaine nodded at everything Sebastian said to him about the guys he was checking out anyway, automatically encouraging him when necessary, and laughing it off when he made a joke about a threesome because you could never know with Sebastian. Still, it helped him relax further into his chair, and he had actually started to enjoy himself when Sebastian rose from his chair to go make an appearance, all the eyes at the table following him with similar amused looks on their faces. Blaine didn't look away when he met Kurt's gaze, though, returning it with a fond smile instead. 

“Remember how we really believed this was just a phase, and he was going to settle down with some nice guy at least before senior year?” Quinn asked, shaking her head as Blaine and Mike rolled their eyes in sync. 

Kurt laughed along with the group, not because he knew Sebastian in his younger days, but because he couldn't imagine him really changing his player ways. He was distracted by the quips about the guy Sebastian clearly had his eyes on and the bets that followed as to whether he would take the tall blond home or if he would get fabulously rejected; so at first he didn't notice the stranger who had approached their table and was, in Kurt’s opinion, now standing far too close to Blaine. Kurt couldn't tell what this guy with overly waxed eyebrows and the fakest tan he had ever seen was saying to Blaine, but whatever it was, Kurt definitely didn't like it. He grabbed Quinn's hand across the table, pulled her close enough to be heard over the music, and tried to sound as carefree as possible.

“Hey, who's that guy talking to Blaine? Old friend?”

Quinn glanced over in Blaine's direction, then smirked and shrugged.

“Oh no... That guy’s game is strong, and it sounds like Blaine is playing hard to get, but have you seen his ass? If I know Blaine, he won't say no for much longer.”

Quinn winked, and Kurt groaned internally before downing his drink, watching intently as this new guy continued to overstay his welcome.

Blaine was about to say his “thanks, but no thanks” and send the irritatingly insistent guy on his way when he saw Sebastian looking at him and mouthing “what the fuck?” while tilting his head at the guy, Tim or Tom or something. Fuck his life. If Blaine had been more of a picky guy when it came to his long record of one-night stands, he could've easily saved himself from this potential train wreck by simply saying what’s-his-face wasn't his type. Unfortunately, his rep was that he really wasn't picky, and since everyone was watching and expecting him to take advantage when a Tom, Tim, Dick, or what’s-his-face paid attention to him, he knew he was expected to take advantage of it. As far as his friends knew, his attitude was still a body was just a body when all you wanted was to get off. Now was different though. Although he and Kurt hadn’t really talked about being exclusive or what they actually were to each other—Blaine kind of felt like it was pointless when all they had was one month, which he was beginning to realize wasn't a very long time—it still felt really wrong to let Tim/Tom lean into him so close he could actually feel his breath on his face as he took Blaine’s hand and pulled him to his feet. 

He made a special effort not to look Kurt in the eyes as he glanced over the table while being dragged to the dance floor, plastering a cocky smile on his face when he saw Quinn give him a thumbs up. Blaine decided to lose himself in the music and just dance until the song that was playing ended. It wasn't that he felt like he was cheating or whatever because, seriously, Blaine didn't even pay enough attention to learn the guy's name; he meant nothing. He just really hated being the one to put that fake, tight-lipped smile on Kurt's face, and there was nothing he could do about it. 

Kurt watched as Blaine gave his hand to this pretentious asshole and let himself be led onto the dance floor. He allowed his eyes to follow them and saw the guy with way too much product in his hair wrap his arm around Blaine, and Kurt had to do all this with a fucking smile on his face when all he really he wanted to was rip Blaine right out of that guy’s tiny little arms. It wasn't right. Those should be Kurt's arms around him; it should be him whispering in his ear—and seriously, _hands above the belt, buddy_ , or Kurt really thought someone would have to restrain him—none of this was right. And the most frustrating thing about it was neither of them could do anything about it if they wanted to keep their relationship under wraps. 

Kurt would have loved to lean over to Quinn and tell her about this amazing, beautiful man he was dating, who he cared about more than he could really believe, let alone put into words, but they’d agreed to a month of it just being them. Kurt didn't want to shorten their supposedly drama-free time together, but right now he didn't know how much more of this he could take.

He felt a cold hand grab his arm, and he turned around to find a concerned looking Quinn.

“You all right, buttercup?”

“Y-yeah. Totally fine. I…uh, just thought I knew that guy dancing with Blaine, but turns out I don't. Want a drink, doll? I'm going up to the bar.”

Quinn smiled her sweet smile, keeping her mouth upturned in a curious way as Kurt walked away. Kurt made it to the bar and tried to get in a position to look into Blaine's eyes; so he could at least tell him it was okay via eye contact, but blondie’s fat head was in the way. Kurt clenched his fist and ordered a double shot of tequila to ease the pain.

Blaine’s eyes followed Kurt as he caught the bartender's attention, turning his back to the dance floor as he put his elbows on the bar and held his head between his hands. It physically pained Blaine to see him like that and not just go up there, wrap him up in his arms, and kiss him. He thought that was what really was bothering Kurt in the first place, too—that he had to watch his every move around others, hold himself back, and act like someone he wasn't. It must have sucked for someone like Kurt, who was so unapologetically himself all the time. 

And Blaine had had enough of the guy whose hands were overstaying their welcome on the lower part of Blaine's body. He pushed him back with a hand to his chest when he dared move his hands even lower.

“Dude, not gonna happen,” he said, shaking his head when the guy gave him a confused look. “Thanks for the dance. You should try your luck with someone else.” 

With that he left the guy in the middle of the dance floor, shrugging at the glare the guy was sending his way as he made his way over the bar where Kurt was still alone, nursing a drink.

“Do you come here often?” he quipped, his voice soft and teasing when Kurt turned sharply to face him, his lips twitching up a little at Blaine's words. 

Kurt couldn't help but smile when he saw Blaine's face, mostly out of relief that he was alone, but also at how easily a couple words could make Kurt feel like he could breathe again. On the other hand, he was still so worked up and frustrated because he couldn't just grab Blaine's face and kiss him right there to mark his territory. He lowered his voice in case Sebastian was lingering around somewhere.

“I hate seeing another guy touch you. I just... _god!_ I wanted to rip you out of his arms!”

Blaine leaned forward instinctively when Kurt lowered his voice almost to a whisper and looked at Blaine with something fierce and daring in his eyes, his fingers gripping the glass a little too tightly. It was sexy as hell, and Blaine couldn't help but lick his lips, his eyes getting darker as Kurt's gaze immediately dropped to the flicker of his tongue. 

Blaine tangled his ankle with Kurt's under the bar stool and moved his hand so his knuckles were touching Kurt's.

“But you do know he's nobody, don't you?” Blaine looked Kurt right in the eyes, his voice low but very serious. “I only want you.” 

As soon as Blaine leaned in just close enough for their hands to brush against each other's, Kurt could feel the electricity shoot through his veins once again. He couldn't take averting his eyes from Blaine's for one second more; it was bad enough they couldn't really touch; he just needed to see what shade of hazel they were tonight. So he looked; they were darker than Kurt had expected, but just as breathtaking.

“Of course he was nothing. He didn't deserve to even be breathing the same air as you.”

Kurt eased off the stool and leaned in close, acting like he was grabbing his drink from across the bar.

“You're all I want. All the damned time. Now I'm going back to the table and counting down the hours until _I_ am taking you home.”

Blaine was still looking after Kurt with an open mouth, his fingers still tingling from where they’d touched Kurt's skin, when Sebastian came to hover over his stool, looking down at Blaine with scowl on his face. 

“Why the fuck did you send that guy away? I promised him you’d show him a good time.”

Blaine rested his elbow on the counter and shrugged casually.

“He smelled funny,” he answered before taking a long sip of the beer the bartender had put in front of him. Sebastian narrowed his eyes, and Blaine knew another “what the fuck” was at the tip of his tongue, but Sebastian surprised Blaine by hitting his chest playfully, a know-it-all smile on his face. 

“There’s someone else,” he stated matter-of-factly, his smile growing even bigger when Blaine gave him a dumbfounded look, trying not to panic under Sebastian's scrutinizing stare. 

“And you're already drunk,” Blaine said, trying to shrug it off as he jumped gracefully from his stool. He grabbed the beer and started over to their table, not meeting Sebastian's eyes as he called out to him, “Your boy-toy of the night is giving me doom eyes. Go take care of him.” 

He thanked god that the span of Sebastian's attention was only as long as until he was reminded there was a hot guy waiting for him. He didn't know when Sebastian had gotten to be so perceptive, but he couldn't take any chances. His time with Kurt was already limited and, from the way his phone calls were getting more restrained with Jamie day by day, he knew he needed to stop it, whatever it was he and Kurt had, before Jamie came to visit. And he really didn't need any more distractions while he was trying to make the most of his time with Kurt. 

When Blaine returned to the table, Kurt was talking to Tina, the new girl Mike had been going on and on about for the last couple months, a genuine smile gracing his lips. Blaine smiled for that reason only; the world was a better place when Kurt Hummel smiled. 

“Looks like someone just got lucky,” Santana purred, startling Blaine awake from his Kurt trance. Blaine wiped the stupid smile from his face and rolled his eyes, raising his beer bottle to Santana.

“Free beer, yeah. Very lucky indeed.” 

Kurt pretended to look for the guy in the crowd before looking back towards Santana and the rest of the gang who was still at the table.

“Please! Did you see that guy’s hair? I could see his roots from across the bar. Even Blaine could do better than that. Isn't that right, B?”

Kurt heard Santana chuckle and saw Noah not so discretely look at his reflection in his glass, checking his own roots, but mostly he just focused his attention on Blaine. He needed to hear Blaine say in front of everyone that he could do better; he really wanted him to say that he _had_ better, but Kurt couldn't have everything...yet.

Blaine still remembered the night when Kurt had said the exact same thing to him—probably not for the same reasons—but he still remembered the way he’d looked at him, eyes sleepy and a little dazed from the alcohol, a lazy grin on his face, as he told Blaine he could do much better. Blaine hadn’t thought too much about it then—just thought of it as something that was only said out of drunken niceness—but now Kurt was looking at him like he really believed what he said, daring Blaine with his eyes to say he didn't agree with him.

And the funny thing was Blaine did agree with him. It was nowhere near as simple as thinking even for one second that he actually deserved someone like Kurt, but now at least he knew he wasn't as much of a hopeless case as he had believed before. And it was all because of Kurt. So he kept Kurt's unwavering gaze and nodded his head, hoping to get what he really wanted to say across to him with eye contact— _Don't even compare yourself to him._

“Why, kid,” he said, schooling his features into an amused expression, “if I ignore the ‘even Blaine’ part, this is like the nicest thing you've ever said to me.” 

Kurt rolled his eyes but couldn't keep back the smile that formed across his lips. Kurt knew Blaine had heard him literally scream his praises; so there _had_ been nicer things, but no one else needed to know that. They didn't need to know that Kurt thought Blaine was honest-to-god the most attractive, wonderfully sarcastic, funny, good-hearted man he had ever met. But by the time the month was up, Kurt hoped _Blaine_ would know all those things.

“Ahhh... Must be the tequila. Don't get used to it.”

Kurt winked and then tried to stifle a laugh as he noticed Blaine was doing the same.

Blaine bit his lip into a smirk and then shook his head, albeit fondly, but, hey, he was just a human being after all, and Kurt was too adorable for words; so no one could really blame him for not actually getting annoyed. 

“But you know what they say, baby boy—drunk talk is the real talk. So how about that?” 

The moment “baby boy” left Blaine's mouth, Kurt thought maybe he should take Blaine's drink away from him, or he might start having some “real talk” of his own. But it also felt like a term of endearment that made the butterflies wake up inside him.

“Well, I guess I should stop drinking then... I wouldn't want to say something I shouldn't... You know, like give you another compliment.”

Blaine arched an eyebrow and put both elbows on the table, leaning in slightly. He realized everyone except Mike and Tina, who were in their own world, was watching them and, well, no one ever said Blaine was a good boy before, right? 

He returned his focus to Kurt and batted his eyelashes exaggeratedly.

“Are you saying I'm too irresistible otherwise?” he asked, his voice deliberately low and seducing so the others would know he was just being an asshole—nothing unusual there. 

God, Kurt loved those eyelashes. They were so long and always perfectly splayed out against Blaine’s cheeks every time he closed his eyes. He was using them for powers of evil instead of good at the moment, but Kurt would forgive him; he could stare at them later when they were alone. Instead Kurt rolled his eyes just as everyone would have expected him to, scoffing at Blaine's question.

“Yes, Blaine, you are _so_ irresistible. How will I _ever_ be able to control myself around you?”

He spoke as sarcastically as possible, and he was pretty sure people at the table picked it up; everyone at the table was laughing except for Noah, who seemed to be trying to figure something out.

Blaine's lips twitched up into a smile, and he grabbed his beer to clink it against Kurt's glass like a peace offering.

“Don't worry, little one,” he replied calmly, reaching out to ruffle Kurt's hair, “I'll go easy on you.” 

He grinned when Kurt scrunched his face up into a frown, his lips slightly parted. Blaine would have given just about anything to haul Kurt in by his collar and crash their lips together, but for now he settled for another wink. 

Kurt pulled out his phone to text Blaine because Kurt pretty much couldn’t resist flirting and smiling all stupid when they spoke. He tried to hide his phone under the table as he typed out a quick text, hoping no one would catch on. He made a show of engaging Noah on what their next tattoos should be, loving the scowl from Blaine that he caught out of the corner of his eye before he pressed send.

To Blaine: You need to stop with the winking; people might think you’re flirting with a younger man or something.

To Kurt: What if flirting isn't the only thing I want to be doing with the said younger man? 

To Blaine: Well, that younger man would definitely not object to other things, but then what would all your gentlemen callers in this bar think?

To Kurt: Why would I even care about what other guys think? I have to make an extra effort to keep my eyes off of you. Fuck the gentlemen. I want my baby. 

To Blaine: You make me want to jump across this table and kiss you. Maybe you can fake a heart attack, and I can be your knight in shining armor and bring you back to life with my fabulous mouth-to-mouth technique?

To Kurt: You're such a fucking dork, and I shouldn't find it as adorable as I do. Though it would take a lot more than mouth-to-mouth to bring me back ;) 

To Blaine: Oh, didn't I tell you? I only perform my rescues fully naked. Is that enough to bring you back?

To Kurt: Hmm… I guess I didn't think this through because there's no way you're getting naked for anyone else to see but me. So…no heart attack here, baby boy.

To Blaine: Whelp, there’s no way I am letting you die from your fake heart attack; so how about I’ll give you the kiss of your life (aka totally professional life-saving procedure); then you take me home, where I proceed to get naked and continue to take care of you, old man.

To Kurt: God, Kurt. I never wanted to touch you so badly before, and now it’s something I want to do like all the time! 

To Blaine: Well, it's nice to know we’re on the same page then. Even when we barely touched hands at the bar I felt the electricity. What have you done to me? 

To Kurt: Nothing yet. But I plan to do a lot when I get you alone!

To Blaine: Believe me, you’ve already done a lot to me. But are you just going to continue to tease me, or are you going to tell me about what happens when we're alone?

To Kurt: I don't think you're with the right company to hear what happens when we're alone. After all, those pants you probably got painted on leave nothing to the imagination, and I want to get the fuck out of here without causing a scene.

To Blaine: Uh…you better stop now, then. I only wore them because I know they drive you crazy, and I wanted some assurance that you’d have me pressed against some wall or piece of furniture as soon as we got home. And I just talked Mike into taking Tina home; so he's getting his tab...now's our chance! 

To Kurt: You could be wearing baggy sweatpants, and I’d still want to have you pressed against me. Ok, make an excuse. You're the baby in this relationship; they’ll buy it more easily coming from you. 

To Blaine: Nope, it's your turn, babe. But believe me I will be very generous when we get home.

Blaine pocketed his phone as discreetly as possible although he was sure smiling like a lunatic at his phone hadn't gone unnoticed. As much as he hated to do it, he used the Jamie card and told them it was Jamie just being Jamie. That was good enough for the others; they were pretty much used to anything when it came to Blaine and Jamie. Quinn even made a comment about how much of an old married couple they were turning into, and the way Kurt almost choked on his drink would have been funny if Blaine wasn't so worried. 

It was a good thing Sebastian wasn't around when Blaine used the excuse of having to get up early the next day because of a radio program assignment they were working on together, and that there was no way he could handle a hangover Bas if he didn't get at least some sleep. Quinn nodded understandingly, and Blaine could swear he heard Noah say something like “grandpa” under his breath, and, even if he was Kurt's friend, it wasn't as endearing coming from Noah's mouth. Santana didn't even react because she was busy throwing daggers at some guy who’d sent Quinn a drink. 

“Are you staying or coming with me, Kurt?” he asked, casually waiting for Kurt to answer as if it was no big deal if he wanted to stay longer—which was, of course, about as far from the truth as you could get. 

Kurt looked up at Blaine and bit his lip like he was trying to decide. He looked over to Noah who tipped his drink like he wanted another, but he quickly remembered something they had talked about earlier in the week. 

“I think I'll catch a ride with you, especially if Noah and I have any hope of going hiking tomorrow.”

Noah looked confused for a second, but then looked like he was sort of remembering; Kurt just hoped he didn't remember they’d never made definite plans. He didn't; he actually put his drink down and started bugging Quinn to leave as well. Kurt kissed Quinn's head and whispered in her ear to remind her girlfriend that she only had eyes for her before getting up to follow Blaine towards the exit. Kurt noticed blondie on his way out, and he may or may not have accidentally bumped into him on his way out the door.

Once outside Kurt moved to Blaine's side, walking towards the Harley.

“Hope I didn't sound too eager to get home. I just got real tired of people looking at what’s mine and not being able to do anything about it.”

Blaine felt a sense of belonging surge through his whole body at being called Kurt's even though neither of them had made it clear what they were to each other. Blaine was more than fine with being Kurt's though, even if it was just for a couple more weeks. 

“They can look all they want,” Blaine provided, leaning over the motorcycle to speak right in Kurt's face. “You're the only one that gets to touch.”  

Maybe it was the tequila, or maybe at that moment Kurt didn't give a damn who could have seen, but he surged forward, tangling his fingers in the curls at the back of Blaine's head, and kissed him. He kissed him fast and passionate, just how he’d been wanting to all night. He pulled back once he realized where they were and blushed slightly, grabbing his helmet and handing Blaine his.

“Come on. Let's get home.”

Blaine bit his lips into a smile and straddled the bike, hooking his wrist through the strap of his helmet before grabbing Kurt by the back of his head and crashing their lips together again. The kiss was a little too rough, a little too hard, and the angle wasn't the best, but Blaine thought it was still perfect. 

“Yeah,” he whispered into Kurt's mouth, “home.”

 

xxx

 

Blaine was in the bathroom, washing his face when he heard the sounds of the front door getting banged on. It wasn't even eleven A.M. yet, and Blaine was sure Sebastian's night had been as physically exhausting as Blaine's had been—which he really wasn't complaining about—but here he was, pounding on the door as if doomsday had arrived. Blaine hadn't even had one cup of coffee yet to help him properly handle Sebastian this early. Blaine liked that his friend took his responsibilities seriously—he really did—but he had planned to go back to bed and give Kurt a proper wakeup call, dammit. 

He got a clean t-shirt from the drawer and put it on before kneeling down beside the bed, his lips twitching up into a smile as he watched Kurt shift slightly and blink his eyes open, looking at Blaine with sleepy eyes. 

“Shh, go back to sleep, baby,” Blaine whispered, softly carding his fingers through Kurt's hair, “Bas is here; so take your time. We'll be downstairs.” 

Kurt mumbled a sleepy “okay” and smiled against Blaine's lips when Blaine moved to kiss him. Blaine tried not to preen over the fact that he could still taste himself on Kurt's lips. 

He was glad he’d turned his phone to silent before he went to bed because there were already five missed calls as he made his way downstairs, rolling his eyes at his phone. 

“You better have coffee behind this door, or I'm not opening,” Blaine said while opening the door for Sebastian at the same time. He took the styrofoam cup with Angela's logo printed on it—Sebastian did like his fancy coffee. Noting the hint of a smile on Sebastian’s face, Blaine toned down the growl a bit as he continued, “A day is 24 hours; you know that, right?” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes and walked past him, his red satchel hanging from his shoulder.

“Stop whining. We have tons of stuff to do,” Sebastian replied in his all business voice. Blaine nodded and took a sip of his coffee, amused when Sebastian went directly towards the coffee table, already opening his MacBook. 

“Don't get your panties all in a bunch. We still have two days to hand in the draft,” Blaine reminded as he took a seat across Sebastian. “You know I'm useless until I drain at least one cup of coffee.” 

“Where’s Kurt?” Sebastian asked, ignoring Blaine's previous comment and putting a bunch of paper in front of him, gesturing for him to take a look. 

“Sleeping. Like any normal person would do on a Saturday morning.” _And because I wore him out a little bit_ he would have loved to add, but alas, in the words of John Green, “Life isn't a wish granting factory.” 

Something must have shown on his face anyway because Sebastian gave him an odd look and tilted his head in question. Blaine shook his head and focused his attention on the papers laid in front of him.

“Let's kick some ass, partner,” he said instead, biting his inner lip when a stupid grin came across Sebastian's face immediately. Man, he was just so easy. 

Kurt stretched out in bed, smiling as he opened his eyes and saw the surroundings of Blaine's room and the trail of clothes that led to the bed. The only thing that would make the morning better would be if Blaine had still been in bed with him, cuddling into his side. Kurt settled for Blaine’s pillow for a while, inhaling his scent before getting up. He opted for Blaine's sweatpants and one of his own comfy white t-shirts, knowing that wearing Blaine’s clothes was sure to get some type of reaction from him, which Kurt was very much looking forward to.

Kurt made his way down the stairs, smiling as he heard Sebastian and Blaine arguing over font style or something else equally stupid. He made his way into the kitchen, making sure to walk in front of Blaine to see if he would notice Kurt's choice of pants this morning.

“Someone better have coffee ready for me if I have to put up with you two doofuses all day.”

Blaine's head snapped up at Kurt's voice, his eyes widening as he saw Kurt leaning against the kitchen counter in his fucking grey sweatpants that were a little low on his own ankles, but man, did they look hot on Kurt. Blaine might be biased because it was Kurt wearing his clothes, but apparently Sebastian had the same idea, considering the intense look he was giving Kurt—which, you know, wasn't okay at all. Blaine was about to open his mouth to tell Sebastian to mind his own business, but Sebastian beat him to it. 

“Is that a hickey?” he asked as he narrowed his eyes as if to take a better look at Kurt. “Fuck! It's totally a hickey, but Quinn said you left with Blaine! When did that happen?” 

Blaine rose from the sofa, making his way into the kitchen a little too quickly for his liking, but he was kind of acting on instinct here. He walked up to Kurt, giving Sebastian a quizzical look as he did so as if he had no idea when and how it happened.

“Huh,” he replied, pretending to examine the huge, red mark on the side of Kurt's neck, tracing his thumb over it. “It just looks like a rash to me.” 

Sebastian stood up and followed right after Blaine, making Kurt s feel like some kind of science experiment with how much scrutiny he was under all of a sudden.

“No, no, no…it's most definitely a hickey; I'm an expert. ‘Fess up.”

Kurt wrapped his hand around Blaine's fingers, which were still touching the mark he’d left last night, and moved his hand off, giving him a worried look before trying to think of some kind of story that would make even a little bit of sense. He was _so_ not ready for their cover to be blown.

“Well I...I did leave with Blaine, but then after he went to sleep, I called this guy from my sociology class who’d been flirting with me and…well, one thing led to another...”

He couldn't read Sebastian's face well enough to see if he bought it, but he hoped to hell he did. If Sebastian found out, it would probably mean everyone else would as well, which would probably mean he and Blaine were over, as well—and _that_ was something he definitely didn’t want to happen.

“So can we please stop talking about this now? I haven't even had coffee for godsake!”

Following Kurt’s lead, Blaine shook his head and muttered in fake disapproval as if what Kurt said was true; he moved to take a couple of mugs from the cupboard to refresh his and Sebastian's coffee and get Kurt one. He rose up on his toes to get Kurt’s favorite from the very back of the shelf and was startled by a firm grip on his side and a hand pushing his shirt all the way up. 

“What the...!” His words died on his lips before he could even articulate a proper sentence when he saw that Sebastian’s eyebrows were raised till they were almost under his hairline as he stared down at another angry, red mark—this time on Blaine’s side. 

“I'm guessing Blaine didn't actually go to sleep either?” 

Blaine knew it wasn't a question even though Sebastian made it sound like one; so he didn't say anything. He pulled his shirt down and filled the empty mugs with coffee, ignoring the look Sebastian was giving him. 

“Milk?” he turned to ask Kurt, trying to relax him a little by acting like nothing was wrong because he pretty much looked like he was about to have a panic attack right then and there. 

As Blaine added milk to his coffee, Kurt just looked down at his bare feet and wished he had stayed in bed. He had no clue how they were going to get out of this. If Blaine didn't look so damn edible when he was naked, this wouldn't have happened, but it did—and now Kurt was kind of freaking out that it might never happen again. He bit his lip, avoiding Sebastian's glare, and tried to follow Blaine's lead by ignoring the elephant in the room.

“So…uh, you guys finish your project yet?”

Blaine shook his head no and took his coffee to the coffee table, Kurt and Sebastian following behind him, the silence in the room both awkward and uncomfortable.

“Almost there though,” Blaine tried, risking a glance at Sebastian, who was still looking at him with raised eyebrows and an unimpressed look in his eyes. 

“Okay, fuck! What do you want?” Blaine blurted out finally because there was no way to avoid the train wreck, and the sooner they got it over with, the better.

Kurt's eyes went wide, and he looked from Blaine to Sebastian and back to Blaine. Kurt knew their perfect little honeymoon period couldn't last forever, but he thought they would have had more time before things got this complicated. Kurt moved closer to Blaine, waiting for Sebastian to expose them, knowing it was inevitable as he watched the smirk form on Sebastian’s face.

“I want you guys to admit it to me. Just admit it.”

Silence. There it was. All three of them knew what Sebastian was talking about, but Kurt didn't know how to respond. Admit that he had slowly been falling for Blaine since the day he saw him at the airport? Admit that Blaine was the first guy who had made him actually feel alive? Admit that he was so scared that this confession would ruin everything?

“Bas...” Kurt started, faltered, and then tried again. “It just happened; neither of us expected this. We didn't want to tell anyone until we knew...”

When Kurt trailed off and seemed unable to continue, Blaine took his hand and gave his fingers what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze. 

“It is what it is, and no one knows,” Blaine talked crisply, looking Sebastian right in the eyes. “And it'll stay that way until Jamie comes to visit.” 

Sebastian's face softened at first as he watched Blaine grab onto Kurt's hand, then hardened at Blaine's demanding tone and words.

“I knew it! For a long time I could tell there was something between you guys. I was just tired of you pretending like there wasn't.”

Sebastian laughed when he heard Kurt breathe a sigh of relief.

“Look, it's not my place to tell anyone anything, including Jamie. Just maybe hide your hickeys a little better next time.”

Blaine smiled when Kurt blushed all over, giving Sebastian a deadpanned look when he mentioned their hickeys.

“We would have if you hadn’t come pounding on our door first thing in the morning.” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes and returned his focus to his MacBook. 

“Oh, don't mind me,” he continued as if Blaine hadn’t said anything. “You can suck face or whatever it is that you're obviously doing.” 

Kurt surprised Blaine by leaning down and landing one right on his lips, pulling back with a smacking sound. Blaine was a bit mortified to feel himself beginning to blush, which made him blush all the more, hoping no one would notice. Kurt left them alone after that, with a tentative “see you around” to Sebastian and a searching look at Blaine. 

Blaine looked up when Sebastian loudly cleared his throat and was surprised by the serious look on his face. 

“Change your mind?” Blaine asked, quirking an eyebrow. 

“No, it's not that,” Sebastian replied shaking his head. “Just…uh, just be careful, okay? Do you remember Jamie's reaction when he thought I was hitting on Kurt? I don't know; maybe he'll be different because it's you, but…just be careful.” 

Blaine didn't say anything for a while, his heart sinking at the thought of Jamie's face looking at him like he was betrayed. 

“I don't know, man” was all he could say. “I don't know what I'm doing. I just... I feel like I…I...” … _need him…_ Blaine's brain provided, but he didn't voice the rest of his sentence. He shook his head as if he changed his mind and shrugged. “It's okay. All is good. I have it under control.” 

_Or did he?_ Blaine wasn't really sure. 

 

xxx

 

Kurt had been patient for almost two hours. He had finished all his reading for his English Lit class, finished his paper for sociology and even cleaned his room, and Blaine was still closed up in his room, working on some thesis or something—something that took way too much time away from kissing Kurt. Figuring Blaine could use a break, Kurt went downstairs to make him an afternoon snack of finger-sized peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, fruit, Girl Scout cookies, and two bottles of water.

He set everything on a tray and walked up to Blaine’s room, knocking as a courtesy before walking in. Kurt could tell Blaine was stressed when he didn’t even notice him walk in, but he couldn’t help but smile at the disheveled curls on his head, clearly from being run through by Blaine’s fingers too many times. He was sitting cross legged on his chair, chewing a pencil with his glasses on, and god, Kurt didn’t think he could get any sexier than that.

“Hey, you. You’ve been at it for way too long. I thought we could eat and then maybe I could convince you to extend your break…”

Blaine looked up from the mess of books and papers in front of him when he heard Kurt's voice; he gave him a small smile before returning his attention to the paper he’d been skimming through before Kurt came in. 

“Not now, baby,” he replied without looking up again, underlining a sentence he thought he might use for reference later. He’d been so wrapped up with Kurt in their happy, little bubble lately that he hadn’t realized how badly he was messing up with his deadlines. He wouldn't even have remembered an appointment to discuss his progress with his thesis consultant in two days if it hadn’t been for the email he’d received from his professor.

Blaine was pretty much screwed because he hadn’t written a single word on his draft since the last appointment he’d had with Ms. Marin, and it was obvious there wasn't much to save the situation. Blaine wondered if Ms. Marin would accept Blaine's excuse if he happened to tell her that he was kind of having a hard time focusing on anything because of this guy that he was pretty gone on. Tough luck. 

Kurt still wasn't used to being called pet names by Blaine; so one casual “baby” and the butterflies went crazy inside of him. But he also wasn’t used to being told “no” by Blaine, either. Call him spoiled, but he couldn’t help that literally everything in his life felt better if Blaine was there, and they’d been apart long enough as far as he was concerned. Kurt set the tray of food down, picked up a strawberry to feed to Blaine, and sat on the edge of his desk.

“Yes, now. You haven't had anything but coffee and only a few kisses from me all day. You can't survive on that. You can take a tiny break, B.”

Blaine put one hand on Kurt's thigh, giving it a squeeze as acknowledgement and continued to read the paper as he opened his mouth to receive the strawberry Kurt brought to his lips. 

But when Kurt tried to feed him a piece of pineapple, and its juice spilled onto his paper, Blaine made a sound of exasperation. “I really can't, Kurt. I'm so fucking behind on everything.”

“Fuck, Babe,” he continued. “Look, I'm not playing around; this is my thesis, the most important thing that’ll help me get my degree, not a Sociology 101 paper that I could probably write in my sleep.” 

Kurt's eyes narrowed at the annoyed tone in Blaine's voice; he stood up quickly, setting the bowl of fruit loudly on the tray before crossing his arms and looking straight at Blaine.

“Right, just because I’m a freshman, none of the stuff I have to do is important or hard. You know I didn't hear you complaining last night when you blew this stuff off to watch a movie with me—which _you_ suggested by the way!”

Blaine did look up this time, startled by the tone of Kurt's voice. He pushed his chair back a little, looking at Kurt with tired eyes. 

“I didn't say that. But I was a freshman once, too, and I remember how little studying Jamie and I did and still passed our classes. But you’ve never been in my shoes; so I don't expect you to understand how stressed I am right now. I'm not saying I'd rather sit here all day and read until my eyes bleed, but that's not how real life works.” 

Kurt rolled his eyes but uncrossed his arms, noticing just how stressed Blaine really did look.

“You're right; I probably don't understand the pressure you’re under. But it was just lunch, Blaine.”

Blaine rose from his chair and leaned against his desk, arms crossed over his chest and an amused glint in his eyes. He knew what this was all about. Kurt had been antsy since the confrontation with Sebastian, and now, with only two weeks until Jamie's visit, they both were trying to spend as much time together as possible without making a big fuss about it. Obviously neither of them was kidding the other; Blaine never remembered being this nervous about the prospect of seeing his best friend. It felt like whatever he ended up choosing, he would lose something really important. 

“Come here,” he said, his voice soft and his eyes unwavering as he held Kurt's gaze. 

Kurt walked straight into Blaine's arms, resting his chin on his shoulder as Blaine wrapped his arms around him. He placed a sweet kiss on Blaine’s neck and then nuzzled further, his words slightly muffled from where his face was buried.

“I'm sorry. I know you have to finish this. It's really pathetic how much I missed you after only a couple of hours.”

When Blaine nudged him up with his shoulder, Kurt pulled back to find him smiling a small, endearing smile that made Kurt blush.

“As hard as it’ll be, especially with you looking so sexy in those glasses, if you promise to eat, I’ll promise to leave you alone until you come find me. Deal?”

Blaine took a sharp intake of breath as Kurt pulled back slightly, looking at him with such open eyes that Blaine was literally scared to see how much affection they held. He didn't know what was happening to him. He hadn't planned any of this. It had felt like pure instinct at first; he felt like he needed to have Kurt in some way, in any way, to touch him and kiss him all he wanted. But Blaine now knew that, somewhere along the way, it had become something more than that. When Kurt was around, he made the air two shades easier to breathe, and Blaine didn't know how to let that go. He didn’t _want_ to let it go.

“Nope,” Blaine replied after a while, shaking his head, smiling at the frown that crossed Kurt's face at his words. “What if I don't want you to leave me alone?” 

Kurt didn't mean to grin; he meant to seem a little harder to get, but he failed miserably. The truth was he wanted to be around Blaine all the time; he just couldn't get enough of him. Whether they were all over each other, tearing one another's clothes off, or if they were just curled up on the couch, watching a movie, or even arguing about lunch, he just never got tired of it. He was falling so hard, and he couldn't stop it. He didn't want to. Kurt glanced at Blaine's eyes, which were looking back at him with complete sincerity and longing, and he couldn't even make a halfhearted attempt to pretend like this wasn't exactly what he wanted.

“Then I won't. I'll be right here.”

Blaine bit his lips into a smile, his pulse pounding in his ears from the way Kurt was looking at him, as if there was nothing he wouldn't do if Blaine asked him. He tightened his grip around Kurt instinctively. Kurt felt right in his arms in ways that no one ever had before. He was both familiar and new, easy and comfortable, but exciting. Blaine wanted to tell Kurt how much he made him feel, how all the hours of the day were spent looking forward to the moment he could finally have Kurt in his arms or look him in the eyes or just be around him, but he didn't think words could be enough, could ever express his feelings.

He tipped his head slightly, his eyes never leaving Kurt's as he leaned in, Kurt's breath warm on his face. Kurt made a happy sound at the back of his throat when their lips finally touched, and Blaine wanted to bottle that sound for future use because why the fuck not? He was already in too deep. 

He kissed Kurt softly and slowly, as if they had all the time in the world, nipping at his bottom lip and then soothing the worried skin with his tongue with soft caresses. He ran his hands along Kurt's arms, lacing their fingers when their hands met. It was a pity they couldn't freeze time, even just for a little bit. 

Kurt sighed happily between kisses as they both seemed to just be lost in the moment, just living in it instead of thinking about the stupid time constraints they put on themselves and trying to grasp on to the time slipping by. Kurt let himself really enjoy the way Blaine kissed and the small smiles he could feel on his lips every once in a while, as if he was smiling at a secret in his mind. Kurt’s heart was beating out of control, which he thought he sort of had a handle on by now, but apparently that just didn’t happen when Blaine was kissing him. He was just so damned happy, and it was all because of this beautiful man who had his lips softly pressed against his. He must have been smiling too much because Blaine pulled back a little, smiling back curiously.

Kurt wanted to blurt out all of his feelings, tell Blaine how quickly they had progressed from something he wanted to explore, to a strong pull, and now to something so deep, scary, and wonderful all at once. But he knew it was too soon to try to say all that; so he just looked back into Blaine’s eyes, hoping he would pick up on at least some of it. Kurt moved his hand to Blaine’s neck, gently placing his fingers behind his ear while moving his thumb against his cheek.

“You…” Kurt let out a small sigh, smiling once again. “You have no idea what you do to me, what you’ve done. I…”

Kurt shut himself up and placed a hard kiss to Blaine’s already kiss-swollen lips. He pulled him away from where he was still leaning on the desk, making him stand upright, wanting to be completely wrapped in his arms, walking them instinctively towards Blaine’s bed.

Blaine stopped when Kurt’s legs bumped against the side of the bed. He placed another long, sweet kiss on Kurt's lips before tugging Kurt's shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor. Kurt just lifted his arms and let Blaine take his shirt off while looking at Blaine as if to say he was allowed to take anything he wanted, and Blaine was simply stunned breathless by the trust he saw in Kurt’s eyes.

Once they made it onto the bed, they undressed each other slowly, Blaine hovering over Kurt, hands roaming over each other’s bodies, fingers fumbling with the buttons of each other's pants until they were rid of every interfering item on their bodies, Kurt giggling as he lifted his hips to shimmy out of his sweatpants.

“You're so perfect,” Blaine whispered, kissing the freckles on Kurt’s face and neck, touching them reverently, like they were the most precious thing he’d ever seen, “so fucking perfect. And no matter what happens, I'll never regret this. Never regret _you_.” 

 He kissed his way down Kurt's throat, nosing along the line of Kurt's neck as if he just couldn't get enough of Kurt's taste and smell and the feel of Kurt's skin against his. 

“God, you feel so fucking good!” he breathed into the crook of Kurt's neck when their growing erections rubbed against each other, making Blaine feel as if his blood was pounding through his veins. 

He moved on Kurt's body slightly, lapping at Kurt's nipples, taking the buds between his teeth before licking down. There was just so much he wanted to do to and with Kurt, but at that moment he simply had this overwhelming physical need to have Kurt as close as possible, as if there was this itch under his skin, and he wouldn't be able to get rid of it until he was wrapped up in everything that was Kurt. 

“I want to be mad at you for making me feel like I…” Blaine trailed off, mouthing soft kisses all over Kurt's skin, licking up the lines of Kurt's hips, and totally enjoying the breathy moans Kurt was letting out. 

Along with desire, want, and pleasure, all of which were emotions Kurt was having simultaneously, there was also nervousness and something more that neither of them was quite ready to say, but, Kurt hoped, that they were both feeling. He wanted Blaine in every conceivable way you could want another person, and it was insane that he could feel Blaine wanted him just as much. It was an overwhelmingly powerful feeling to know that there was another person who wanted you that badly; it was indescribably extraordinary, and all Kurt wanted to do was show Blaine just how much he wanted him.

He gently pulled at one of the arms Blaine was using to support himself as he hovered over Kurt’s naked body, guiding him up so he could look into Blaine’s eyes, to speak the way they’ve always spoken when words couldn’t be said. He held onto Blaine’s arms with shaky hands as he let Blaine see all the way into his core, hoping he could feel what neither was quite ready to admit, too. It was probably only a minute or so, but just staring into each other’s eyes, completely open to each other was such an intimate moment that Kurt wanted to take it to another level. Blaine already had his heart, and Kurt wanted him to have absolutely everything else.

Kurt reached over to the nightstand where Blaine kept his supplies and placed lube and a condom in his hand, smiling slightly when Blaine looked down at him in surprise.

“I want to be as close as humanly possible to you, and even then I don’t think it’ll be enough. Please, Blaine,” he whispered.

Blaine looked up from his hand and met Kurt's eyes to make sure he was serious, that he really meant what he said. Kurt was looking at him with such openness, so loving and trusting, Blaine felt as if he was drowning in those dazzling eyes. 

“Yes,” Blaine replied, voice breathy and wrecked. “Fuck, Kurt, _yes—_ anything you want.” 

He surged up to capture Kurt's mouth with his own, kissing him both long and sweet and hard and hungrily. 

“How do you want to do this?” he breathed into Kurt's skin as he kissed across his jaw and neck. He knew what he wanted, and he had an idea what Kurt wanted, too, but he didn't want to assume and ruin this magical moment. He figured he would be ecstatic to have Kurt any way Kurt wanted.

Kurt ran his hands up and down Blaine's chest, his breathing increasing simply from the anticipation of what was to come. Kurt's first time hadn’t felt even remotely close to how this was feeling, and he’d _thought_ he was in love back then.

“I…I want to see you. I need you to see what you do to me, what you make me feel. God, Blaine! I just want you so bad _!_ ”

Blaine nodded and captured Kurt's lips with his own one last time, trying to assure him that it was okay—that Blaine got him without having to use words—before he crawled between Kurt's legs, moving down on his body while kissing his way down his torso. He dipped his tongue inside Kurt’s bellybutton in teasing little motions, and then dragged his tongue along the fine trail of hair, pausing right above Kurt's cock. 

“You don't know how much I want to make you mine,” he spoke into the crease of Kurt's thigh, voice low and breathy, “how much I want everyone to know that I get to have you like this.” He kept Kurt's gaze as he watched Blaine through heavy-lidded eyes, and Kurt’s entire body shivered as Blaine looked up at him through his lashes. They didn't break eye contact as Blaine popped open the lid of the lube and squirted some into the palm of his hand, coating three of his fingers with the liquid to warm it up a bit. There was no hesitation or rush or second guessing; everything was the way it was supposed to be—the rhythm of Blaine's heartbeat racing with Kurt's, their eyes locked as Blaine pushed one finger inside, opening Kurt slowly, enjoying the way Kurt contracted around him. Kurt bit his lip hard and dug his fingernails into Blaine’s biceps in anticipation of what was to come.

Blaine was already addicted to the way Kurt's body stretched and opened up, the way Kurt didn't seem to be able to keep his eyes off him as Blaine added a second finger and then a third. He could stay like this all night, fingers buried inside Kurt as he kissed the expressions off his face. Kurt was relaxed, a look of bliss on his face that Blaine had never seen before, but one he wanted to see much more often if he had his way. Blaine felt as if he was falling, and he had no intention of stopping. He dropped kisses on Kurt's chest before gently pulling his fingers out and reaching for the condom. 

“So beautiful,” he whispered into the silence of the room, his eyes sweeping over Kurt's lithe body as he rolled the condom on, biting his inner lips when Kurt helped him lube it up. 

“God Kurt, I…” He had barely felt the tip of his cock brushing against Kurt's opening, and he was already feeling overwhelmed with the intensity of the moment—the fact he was touching Kurt so intimately, that they were so fucking close— not because he was about to be inside Kurt, but because of what that meant, what t _hey_ meant.

As soon as Blaine immersed himself all the way inside, Kurt felt as if a piece of himself that he didn't know was missing had been put back, as if he was somehow more complete than he’d ever been. He couldn't tell where he ended and where Blaine began; nothing had ever felt more right.

“Tell me to move, Kurt, _baby_ , I can't…” 

Blaine looked down at him, all eyelashes, waiting for him to tell him it was okay, a mix of awe and concern written on his beautiful face. Kurt brought Blaine's face down to his and kissed him sweetly but firmly, moaning just slightly into his mouth when the angle changed slightly. Kurt whispered with a shaky breath, not letting his eyes stray from the dark coffee color of Blaine's eyes.

“Move, baby, please move. I’m so ready to feel all of you.”

With one more chaste kiss, Blaine moved, slowly, letting Kurt get used to the initial burn. But Kurt forgot about the slight discomfort almost immediately because of the way Blaine continued to look at him. It felt like love when Blaine looked at him like that.

Blaine continued to move at a slower, sensual speed, making Kurt's entire body tingle. Kurt grabbed on tightly to Blaine's sides, feeling all the muscles flex with each thrust. Kurt would apologize later for the nail marks he would leave, but the passion coursing through his body was almost too much for a person to take. Yet he wanted even more.

“Blaine! God, you feel so good! I need you deeper…fuck! I can't get you close enough!”

“It’s okay,” Blaine murmured against Kurt’s neck. “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you.”

Blaine grabbed both of Kurt's legs and wrapped them around his waist as he continued to fuck into him with slow but powerful thrusts so Kurt could feel the drag of every inch of him, the new angle increasing the their pleasure. Kurt's tightness was almost agonizing, making Blaine quicken his thrust and pick up speed, going deeper inside Kurt. 

Blaine couldn't stop watching Kurt, the way he was coming undone so beautifully. Kurt sighedincessant moans and breathy “Blaine’s”, kissing along Blaine's shoulders and trailing his fingers along the inside of his arms until Blaine grasped his hands and threaded their fingers together above Kurt’s head. Blaine felt as if his whole body and brain were completely entwined with nothing but Kurt; he was feeling him in every pore, in every cell. He’d never felt more connected with another person in his entire life, and it was both exhilarating and a little scary. 

“I wish I could have you like this forever,” he whispered in Kurt's ear, face buried in his sweaty neck. “I wish I could just keep you here and fuck you until we both fall asleep. You feel so fucking good, Kurt! I was right, wasn't I? You feel like you were made for me.” 

Kurt could feel his heart beating faster, along with that familiar feeling building up low in his stomach with every strong thrust and every sincere word whispered against his skin. Just like Blaine, Kurt wished this could last forever; this connection they were having was on another level that made everything else seem elevated, made it seem so much more than just sex.

Kurt tightened his legs around Blaine's waist, pressing his heels into Blaine's back as his toes started to curl. Despite all the physical and emotional intensity he was feeling, Kurt tried to keep his eyes open— _he wanted to see Blaine_.

“I was! I _was_ made for you! Fuck, B, _I’m yours!_ Always. No matter _what!_ ”

Blaine fucked into him with a long, powerful stroke, and Kurt could feel the pressure rising inside. He squeezed Blaine's still-intertwined hands.

“I…I don't want this to be over. Fuck, Blaine, it's too good! _I can't—_ ”

Blaine let out a moan that was too loud in the otherwise silent room, feeling his own orgasm building low in his belly. He didn’t want it to end, dammit, but he wasn't going to be able to hold back much longer. He was very aware of Kurt's cock, leaking and hard between their bodies. Blaine pressed his forehead against Kurt's and wrapped one hand around Kurt's throbbing cock, sliding his fist in sync with his thrusts.

“It's okay, baby boy,” he panted out, his voice cracking, his breath licking Kurt's lips. “I'm here. I…I'll be here. Just let go.” 

It seemed all Kurt needed was that reassurance, those words, and a couple more of Blaine’s deep thrusts; Kurt gave in and had one of the most intense orgasms of his entire life. All he could do was say Blaine's name over and over again, like some kind of mantra, and tightly grip Blaine's body as he rode it out. He could feel Blaine shaking as he thrust erratically into him as he reached his own euphoria. Kurt stroked Blaine's back and spoke against the damp skin while he tried to catch his breath.

“Your turn, darling. I got you. I'm here.”

Blaine fell apart at the way Kurt’s body went slack and loose just before he’d exploded all over his stomach and chest, and the wrecked tone of his voice. He followed Kurt’s orgasm with a moan as he thrust deep inside Kurt, his head dropping to Kurt's shoulder. 

“Fucking hell,” was all he could manage, Kurt stroking his hair as he rode out his pleasure, his heart practically beating out of his chest, his breathing heavy. 

Blaine collapsed heavy on Kurt's chest, and they lay there, breathing for a while in the silence of the room. Kurt waited for their breaths to become in sync and continued to card his fingers through Blaine's curls, kissing the top of his head every now and then.

“You know... I could stay like this forever, and I would be perfectly happy.”

Blaine smiled and placed a sweet, butterfly kiss on Kurt's nose before rolling over—more like forcing himself to roll over—so he could pull off the condom. He winced sympathetically at the whine that escaped Kurt's lips when he pulled out. He grabbed his shirt from the floor and gently cleaned Kurt as well as he could before doing the same to himself. 

He rolled onto his stomach, one hand draped over Kurt's chest as he looked up at him with what he was sure a stupid-looking grin on his face, his thumb rubbing over the inside of Kurt’s arm. 

“I've had a lot of sex, but nothing has _ever_ been this intense. I think you broke me.”

Kurt smiled sweetly and kissed the corner of the adorable mouth that was curved up into an adorable smile.

“You know you're the reason right?” Kurt murmured. “You’re why I’m so happy. That was the best sex I've ever had, but it was more than that.”

Blaine snuggled closer to Kurt's chest, a soft smile playing around his lips. Kurt did look so happy, so content, and it made Blaine's heart seem to expand in his chest.

He reached out and dragged the pads of his fingers down Kurt’s stomach, his thumb drifting over and tracing the little blackbirds.

“You're ... I…” He ducked his head, feeling uncharacteristically shy when Kurt looked down at him with a puzzled look on his face. 

“You make me really happy, too,” he continued, “which isn't something very easy in itself, but you… You don't even have to try. It's a little unfair actually.” 

Kurt chuckled and adjusted his position so he could fully wrap his arms around Blaine and place a short sincere kiss on his lips.

“Looks like you’ll just have to get used to it then, babe; it's kind of a goal of mine.”

Kurt didn't let Blaine reply right away, deciding short lazy kisses were in order. After a while his own stomach decided to ruin the mood by grumbling rather loudly, and blushing, Kurt buried his head in Blaine's chest.

“What’re the chances you can bring those sandwiches over here without moving at all?”

Blaine rolled his eyes fondly and scattered open mouth kisses along Kurt's collarbone before untangling himself from his welcoming body. 

“One would think you're addicted to me or something,” Blaine teased, walking to his desk. He grabbed the plate Kurt had made for him, and he was about to grab the bottle of water when he noticed his phone lit up with a new text from Jamie. 

To Blaine: Sup, loser? They're letting me go one week earlier; so only one week until I see your stupid face. Don't tell Kurt. Gonna surprise the baby brother.

Blaine couldn't help the way his face fell, and he hated himself for it because it was his best friend, his brother from another mother, who was telling him they could see each other earlier than they thought, and here Blaine was, feeling like shit because _baby fucking brother_. He was so deep in his own convoluted thoughts he didn't even realize he’d put the plate down on the desk, staring down at his phone as if it physically offended him. 

The smile that had been stuck on Kurt’s face started to falter when he noticed Blaine's demeanor change. It seemed whatever was on the other end of that phone completely ruined his mood, and Kurt was about ready to throw it out of the window, just knowing that.

“Babe? Is everything all right?” 

Blaine looked up from his phone with a blank expression on his face, internally debating whether he should share the information with Kurt or not. Jamie asked him to keep it a surprise, and Kurt thought they still had two more weeks of them being _them_. It shouldn't even have been such a big deal after what he had done—what he was doing—with Kurt, but for some reason Blaine didn't have it in himself to betray Jamie's trust even more. It was pathetic, and Blaine knew he had already done worse, but at least he wasn't going to take this from Jamie. 

He shrugged after a while, forcing a smile when Kurt looked back at him with narrowed eyes. 

“Oh yeah; it's just some guy from class ditching out of a group project that’s due next week. Asshole.” 

He took the plate from where he’d left it on the desk and made his way to the bed, crawling between Kurt's legs. 

“Now should I feed you, too, or do you think you can do that yourself?” 

Kurt looked at Blaine with raised eyebrows, thinking that someone skipping out on a project wouldn’t make Blaine react the way he did even if he thought Kurt didn't notice, but he resolved to take it as what Blaine told him. He trusted Blaine, and if it was something else, he figured he would tell him in his own time. Kurt's smile returned to his face as he took a bite from the strawberry Blaine was holding out to him.

“Well, you did make me rather weak; it might be best if we fed each other. After all, I have a feeling we’ll need our strength for later.” 

Blaine let out a surprised chuckle and took a strawberry between his teeth; then he grabbed the back of Kurt's head and pulled him in to feed him the strawberry from his mouth. The way Kurt pressed his lips to Blaine and darted his tongue out to transfer the strawberry into his mouth was nothing less than fucking sexy, even if Blaine literally came minutes ago. 

“Fucking teenagers,” he muttered under his breath, shaking his head when he caught Kurt smirking. 

Kurt fed Blaine a bite size peanut butter and jelly, laughing as Blaine tried to eat it and look sexy at the same time, but just managing to look like the most adorable thing on the planet. Kurt darted his tongue below Blaine's bottom lip where a bit of jelly had dropped, and then placed a loud kiss on his lips.

“Try and keep up, old man.”


	11. chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We adore all of you. You guys are the best! So sorry for the delay in updating. Real life gets in the way and time zones suck but here is the new chapter! Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Mucho thanks to our perfect beta Ancient Gleek for helpig us make our story much better! She rocks!
> 
> And to voyagehk for always putting a smile on our faces with the lovely reviews!

“Does it always hurt this way?”

        

            “What is?”

“Finding yourself keep falling for that one person you can never have…”

 

- _Nurul_

 

_Day 7_

Blaine took one long pull right from the vodka bottle and set it on the floor before rolling onto his stomach, watching Kurt take a puff from the joint and holding the smoke for a moment longer than necessary before blowing it out. It wasn't something they did very often. Or at all. It was actually the first time he gave in to Kurt—“Can we try it again? Blaine, come on! I don't even remember it all too clearly. Please?”—since the night he breathed smoke into Kurt's mouth for the very first time. Blaine was oddly fascinated by the way Kurt's lips wrapped around the joint, the way his eyes fluttered when he took the first hit and breathed in deep, the way he watched the smoke curl up and dissipate in front of him with dazed eyes. 

 

Blaine draped an arm over Kurt's thighs, digging his fingers underneath the waistband of his sweatpants, an easy, careless smile on his face as he looked up at Kurt.  


“Let's go swimming,” he suggested, like it made any fucking sense. The look Kurt gave him in return did nothing to deter Blaine. “I'm serious. I wanna swim with you.” 

 

Blaine looked like a little kid, a pretty drunk slightly high kid, but the mischievous look in his eye, the mess of curls falling in his face and the slight pout made him too adorable to just ignore. Kurt took one more drag from the joint and then handed it to Blaine, his voice a little hoarse from the smoke as he spoke.

 

“And where do you suggest we swim genius? I don't see a pool anywhere.”

 

The corners of Blaine's eyes crinkled, and he dropped his head back a little, laughing at the honestly confused look on Kurt's face. 

 

“You're so adorable I don't know what to do with you sometimes,” Blaine said, humor and appreciation clear in his voice. He stubbed out the end of the joint and flung it onto the cement on their patio before rising to his feet, albeit not very gracefully. He offered Kurt a hand, which he took almost immediately, and pulled him up to his feet. Kurt giggled when their chests collided, and Blaine brought his index finger to his lips, making a hush sound. 

 

“I'm taking you swimming now, but you can't make a sound. It's very important, okay? Nod if you understand.” 

 

Blaine bit his inner lip to keep himself from cracking at the puzzled look on Kurt's face, a frown forming across his ridiculously beautiful face as if he couldn't decide if Blaine was serious or not. He nodded anyway, his Bambi eyes searching Blaine's face expectantly. Blaine grabbed Kurt’s hand and led him to the wall that they shared with their next door neighbors. Blaine hadn't done something like this since high school. It was ridiculous. He was feeling ridiculous. The whole fucking thing was ridiculous, and Blaine was loving every second of it. Fortunately, the risk was less than he let on to Kurt because he knew the neighbors had left for a week in Vegas just a couple of days ago, but he wasn’t about to tell that to Kurt because why take away the fun of doing something daring?

 

Kurt tried his best to scale the stucco wall separating their house from Mr. Murray's, but he didn't exactly have his head wrapped around what they were doing. He made it to the top, but totally would have fallen on his ass if Blaine hadn't been there to catch him when he tried to jump from the wall into Mr. Murray's yard, just missing the big cactus in the corner. Just as Kurt was unsteadily getting to his feet, Blaine placed a sweet kiss on his nose and started pulling him towards the middle of the yard, where there was an in-ground swimming pool. Kurt tried to pull Blaine back, afraid they would get in serious shit if their neighbors happened to wake up.

 

“Blaine... Blaine what the hell are we doing? I don't even have swim trunks with me.”

 

Once they reached the edge of the pool, Blaine just turned around and looked at Kurt with a huge smirk on his face, his eyes wide with excitement. Kurt would have kissed that expression right off of his face if he hadn’t been slightly paranoid as well as extremely curious as to what he was up to.

 

It turned out Kurt didn't have to wait too long. Blaine stripped off all his clothes in a blink of an eye and cannonballed into the pool, splashing Kurt in the process.

 

Kurt bit his lip to try to silence his laughter as Blaine came up for air, grinning from ear to ear, his beautiful curls matted to his head, and his eyes glistening in the moonlight. Kurt whispered loudly, “Oh my fucking god Blaine, you’re fucking crazy!”

 

Blaine hissed at the chill against his skin; the water was colder than he’d thought it would be, but he adjusted quickly, dipping under again and again until his hair was clinging to his scalp. He ducked under one more time to slick it back, then surfaced to let himself float on his back, looking over at Kurt with a big grin on his face. 

 

“You're wearing too many clothes,” he whispered furiously, his eyes raking over Kurt's body, the dim light casting flickering shadows over Kurt's face. “Get in here, and I'll make it worth your while, I promise.” 

 

Kurt shook his head with a smile stuck on his face that he didn’t seem to be able to wipe off; he whispered a quiet “fuck” under his breath before he took off his shirt and his sweatpants, shushing Blaine when he whistled.

 

“I must really like you or something,” Kurt muttered, just loud enough for Blaine to hear.

 

With that Kurt hurriedly stripped off his briefs, took a running start and jumped in the water, making sure to splash Blaine as he did. The water was way colder than he’d expected, and it took a couple seconds for him to pop his head out of the water and swim over to where Blaine was standing in water deep enough to almost reach his shoulders, but still able to touch bottom.

 

“Fuck! Fuck! Blaine, it's cold! Warn a guy next time!”

 

Before Kurt could even finish his sentence, Blaine's arms were already wrapped around him, trying to warm him up, and Kurt's heart was warmed even before his flesh lost its goosebumps.

 

“So... Now we're naked in someone else's pool. Now what?”

 

Blaine pulled Kurt's legs around his waist and dropped his mouth to the side of Kurt's neck, his favorite place to put his lips, enjoying the way their skin slid against each other.

“We are _naked_ together in a pool, and you still care about it being someone else's?” Blaine whispered against Kurt's damp skin, catching water droplets with his tongue as he spoke. “Obviously I'm doing something wrong.” 

Blaine walked them to the shallow part of the pool, and let go of Kurt’s legs after he braced Kurt's back against the smooth edge, their skin sliding together beautifully, slippery under the water, and suddenly the water wasn’t cold anymore as their heated flesh slipped and slid together. He heard a whine escape Kurt's throat when their cocks lined up, and Blaine leaned in to take his earlobe between his teeth.

“Want me to show you how long I can hold my breath underwater?” he asked, voice low as he rubbed against Kurt. “I'm sure we can find a way to keep my mouth busy while I'm _down there_ ,” he added with a smirk in his voice as he lightly fondled Kurt to show exactly what he meant.

Kurt couldn't do much else besides nod and watch Blaine with hooded eyes. Kurt loved that Blaine always had ways of surprising him. When Blaine moved off the spot on his neck that drove him crazy and started to sink down in the water, Kurt grabbed Blaine's face, pulling him up for one more long and passionate kiss before smirking and releasing him.

“Okay, you can continue now.”

Blaine leaned up for another kiss, catching the corner of Kurt's lips, a feral grin on his face.

“Oh yeah,” he agreed, his voice dripping sex and seduction, “I love it when you talk bossy.” 

xxx

_Day 6_

Blaine rolled his eyes when Kurt picked Lost River on the touch screen, but he still entered his credit card number and gave Kurt a stern look when he opened his mouth to protest. Neither of them said it was a date, but Blaine wanted to make Kurt feel like it was one; so there was no way he was letting Kurt pay for anything. 

“I can't believe you're willing to see a horror movie just because Ryan Gosling directed it. He won't even be in the movie.” Blaine shook his head while leading Kurt to the snack bar. He rolled his eyes again, albeit very fondly, when Kurt started going on and on about how Ryan Gosling was a man of many talents, and they should support his career so he wouldn't stop showing his pretty face in the movies in the future. Blaine scowled at the dreamy look on Kurt's face while talking about Ryan Gosling and ended up getting a little too much candy for a two hour movie. 

“He isn't even _that_ gorgeous. No need to start drooling over a name.” 

Kurt slipped his hand into Blaine's as they walked toward the theater, acting as if it wasn't a big deal. The hand holding in general wasn't; when they were at home watching a movie or TV, their hands often found one another’s, but being out in public, showing any kind of affection was a big deal. They drove to a theater where they were pretty positive they wouldn't run into the normal crew or anyone else that could expose them; so Kurt thought he was safe to act like they were a normal couple. Besides, his hand fit pretty perfectly in Blaine's; so why not?  

Kurt caught the small smile Blaine threw his way as he squeezed Kurt’s hand just slightly, walking them to two empty seats towards the back of the theater. It was the small, seemingly insignificant moments like these that made Kurt really think they could make this work, way past the month they had originally given themselves.

“Aww, is someone jealous? I'll let you in on a little secret... I think you are way hotter than him, but don't tell Ryan. He's still on my list, you know.”

Blaine arched an eyebrow and threw an arm over the back of Kurt's seat, squeezing Kurt's shoulder just shy of painful.

“I think I need to know more about this list,” he said, his voice low and teasing, a mock threatening look on his face. “You know I don't like to share.” 

 Kurt chuckled and grabbed the red vines from Blaine's lap, kissing him on the cheek.

“Don't worry, sweetie; I just want to see you guys fight over me. I would still choose you, win or lose.”

Blaine rolled his eyes with fondness, but Kurt couldn’t tell if it was because he still wasn’t satisfied with Kurt's response or because he didn’t believe him; so Kurt ran his hand down Blaine's thigh, giving it a firm squeeze.

“Have I told you that I think you’re super-hot when you get jealous?”

Blaine cracked a grin at that and was about to lean in and show Kurt how much hotter he could be when he heard his name called from the row in front of them. He looked away from Kurt to find Alicia, a girl he and Jamie once were really tight with, staring back at them, her body turned around slightly. Blaine turned to face her fully, a polite smile forming across his face.

“Alicia… Hey, long time no see. How’ve you been?” he asked, narrowing his eyes when he saw Alicia looking down at his lap rather than his face, and _oh_ Kurt's hand was still on his thigh. Alicia regrouped quickly though, returning Blaine's smile. 

“Oh, you know, same old same old...” she replied; despite making eye contact with Blaine, her eyes kept sweeping to Kurt. “Can’t say the same about you, I see.” She winked, throwing a welcoming smile Kurt’s way. “If he's the reason you don't call anymore, you're forgiven.” 

Blaine fought to urge to duck his head and blush like a giddy teenager under Alicia's close scrutiny, even though he wasn't the one who was the receiving end of her intent stare. He could see the approval and also a touch of attraction maybe—because who wouldn't—and he would be lying if he said he didn't feel at least a little bit proud. 

“Ahh,” Blaine said, very elaborately, his arm still thrown over Kurt's shoulder, and he couldn't help but pull him closer. “It's more because I'm a shitty friend, but yeah, you could say I've been busy.” 

Alicia nodded at Blaine's words understandingly before introducing herself to Kurt. Kurt batted some eyelashes and looked at Alicia like she was the most special person on the earth and that was it; Alicia was sold. She shook Kurt's hand enthusiastically and made a thumbs up at Blaine. 

“He's a cutie. Keep him.” 

Blaine tightened his grip on Kurt's arm. “I am.” 

 Kurt rested his head on Blaine's shoulder as he tried to tame the huge grin on his face into a more appropriate smile. He entangled his fingers with the one Blaine had draped around his shoulder, trying to play it cool, but on the inside Kurt was like a giddy puppy. Not only did Blaine not pull away from him when an outsider approached, he also acted as if they were a real life couple. They had been very careful not to label anything these past three weeks, but it felt really, really good to feel like he was Blaine's in every sense of the word. He would gladly be a ‘kept’ man, if Blaine was his other half. Kurt looked up at Blaine through his lashes as he spoke.

“So you're gonna keep me, huh? Do I get a say in this?”

Blaine kissed the top of Kurt's head and buried his nose in his tousled hair. 

“You do get a say,” Blaine said, dragging his nose along the length of Kurt's neck, “as long as you say you're mine.” 

Kurt leaned into Blaine while he placed sweet kisses along his neck, sighing contently. He really couldn't think of anything that sounded better than to be Blaine's completely. It wasn't as if he had asked Kurt to be his boyfriend or anything like that; they still had a lot of things to figure out, but this was a start.

“I say, ‘I really like the sound of that.’”

xxx

_Day 5_

Kurt let out a groan when he opened his eyes and saw the clock, noticing it was only 6:30 in the morning when he didn't need to be up until at least 9:00. Also, ever since Blaine had been making it a habit of waking him up with his magic tongue, Kurt was trying to make it a point of not being the first one to wake up; so that was another reason he wasn’t happy about being awake now. But now that he was, he could already feel the heat radiate through his body from the human furnace that was Blaine, draped and tangled around him, keeping him rooted in place.  Kurt then realized just how thirsty he was; he resolved to go get a drink of water, cool off, and then try to fall back asleep next to Blaine for a few more hours. It took at least five minutes to free himself from Blaine without waking him, but Kurt managed with some feather kisses and some strategic moves to make it downstairs without disturbing him.

While Kurt was filling his glass, he glanced out the window and noticed the first signs of dawn as the dark of the night was just starting to fade. Kurt suddenly got a great idea, forgetting his water on the counter, and starting a pot of coffee instead. Once that was going, he put a couple of pop tarts in the toaster and ran back upstairs like an excited child to Blaine's room. Blaine was still lying there, just as Kurt had left him, except now he was curled around Kurt's pillow, hugging it just as tightly as he’d been hugging Kurt just a few minutes earlier. Kurt smiled at the adorableness of the moment before sitting on the edge of the bed and placing small, sweet kisses on Blaine's lips, cheeks, and eyelids until he stirred awake, mumbling incoherently to himself. Kurt whispered while tucking his hair behind his ears.

“Wake up, baby. I want you to come downstairs with me, but you have to hurry.”

“No hurry… yes sleep,” Blaine mumbled, fluttering his eyes open groggily. He rubbed his knuckles over his eyes, trying to make sense of the time and his surroundings. He groaned when he noticed the first light of morning seeping through the window and draped an arm over Kurt's thighs to snuggle in closer, putting his head on Kurt's lap, his eyes closing quickly once again. 

“You okay? Is someone dead? Why are we waking up in the middle of the night?” he asked, his voice muffled from where he was nuzzled into Kurt's stomach. 

Kurt carded his fingers through Blaine's curls, wondering if he could get any more adorable just as he let out almost a purr, and Kurt about melted. But he really wanted to watch the sunrise with Blaine, and now that he got the idea in his head, he wasn't going to take no for an answer.  

“No, don't go back to sleep, B. I have a surprise.”

Blaine let out an audible groan and buried his face in Kurt's lap so Kurt kissed the top of his head and then nudged him with his knee until he was sitting up. Kurt started to place cute little kisses on Blaine's lips until he opened his eyes.

“Please, B? I made coffee and everything. Pretty please?”

Blaine made a sound of contentment as Kurt started to place sweet kisses on his lips and, suddenly feeling very awake, pressed in further. He could feel Kurt smiling against his lips, which made him smile, too, and they had to pull back eventually because they were two idiots smiling too big to properly kiss. 

“Okay. I'm awake now. You can have your way with me,” he murmured against Kurt's neck. With an encouraging smile on his face, Kurt got up from the bed and pulled Blaine to his feet. “Damn,” Blaine thought vaguely as he sleepily realized he’d probably follow Kurt anywhere.  

It turned out Blaine didn't need to be that dramatic anyway because Kurt ended up taking him down to their kitchen, filling two travel mugs with coffee while Blaine sank down into a chair, head dropping to the table. 

“Not that I don't appreciate the effort, babe, but what's with the emergency with coffee?” 

Kurt handed the coffee mug and a pop tart to Blaine, grinning as he took his hand and pulled him towards their back door and on to the porch. They were just in time to see the sun peaking over the mountains and the pink and orange hue being cast in the nearly cloudless sky. Beaming at Blaine, Kurt gestured to the sunrise.

“I woke up early and decided I really wanted to watch the sunrise with you. You know, because I'm romantic and shit.”

Blaine knew he was supposed to pay attention to the sunrise and how beautiful it was and all that jazz, but he literally couldn't will his eyes to look away from Kurt's face. It was the happiest Blaine had ever seen him, looking so serene and blessed as if he had just been granted his biggest wish. Blaine didn't give a fuck about the sunrise. But he cared a lot about the fact that he was falling for someone who liked him enough to want to share sunrises and morning coffees with him.

He wrapped an arm around Kurt's waist from behind and buried his chin in his neck, looking up at the clouds that were near the horizon and the ray of sun shining under them, making them gorgeous colors of pink, purple, yellow and orange, the colors surrounding the sun and lightening the sky. Blaine would almost call it pretty if he hadn’t been holding something so much more beautiful in his arms. The look on Kurt’s face as the delicate light of the sun’s first light played across his features was better than any artist could imagine.

“Yeah,” he murmured in Kurt's ear, his voice heavy with all the things he was feeling but couldn't say, “you're a little shit, all right. And I wouldn't have it any other way.” 

xxx

_Day 4_

Blaine made a face at the stifling air inside the mall as he stood next to Kurt on the escalator, one arm wrapped around his slender waist; he dropped his head to Kurt's shoulder, blowing a raspberry into his neck. 

“I just don't know why you need me for picking out a pair of jeans. You know I'm a big fan of the white ones and the red ones and the black ones that make your ass look like the eighth wonder of the world. You really don't need more jeans, babe.” 

Kurt rolled his eyes, excitedly dragging Blaine by the hand towards Macy's, not caring about the heavy sighs and immense eye-rolling coming from Mr. Grumpy pants. If Kurt knew his ass like he thought he did, the second Blaine saw him in the True Religion distressed skinny jeans he wanted, he knew Blaine would always volunteer to go shopping with Kurt from now on.  

“For one, these aren't just any jeans, Blaine, and for two, I don't want you to get bored with me and my fantastic ass; so we both have to make sacrifices—me with my wallet and you with spending your precious time in a mall.”

Blaine pinched Kurt's ass as discreetly as he could behind the basic T-shirt shelf and rolled his eyes maybe for the tenth time that day. 

“You're lucky you're pretty,” he quipped, following Kurt around the shop as he grabbed a burgundy shirt, a couple V-necks and a thin sweater. “I already exceeded my limit the moment you spent more than five minutes picking out a simple, white shirt.” 

Blaine didn't complain, though, when Kurt dumped everything he’d just grabbed into his arms and headed for the jeans section, a huge grin on his face. Blaine trailed behind him like a lost puppy—a loaded-down puppy. The things he did for this boy. 

“Besides,” he whispered in Kurt's ear when he caught up to him, “there's no way I'd ever get tired of that ass. It's my favorite thing about you.” 

He flashed a grin when Kurt scowled at his words, shaking his head as if to say he gave up. Blaine didn't miss the way his cheeks got darker, though; so it was still a win. 

Kurt must have a sixth sense for these things because he found his fabulous True Religion jeans on the first rack he checked out, and in his exact size, just begging to be tried on. He snatched them up, almost hiding them from Blaine, grabbed the purple V-neck shirt from the pile in Blaine's arms, and motioned for him to follow him towards the dressing room. Kurt sat Blaine on the chair outside and kissed his forehead.

“There, you get to sit; so stop complaining and do your job. I'm going to go try these jeans on, and you tell me if they’re worth the very expensive price tag.”

With a wink Kurt was practically skipping off to try on the jeans he's been wanting for months.

Blaine was busy replying to a text on his phone when he heard Kurt clear his throat to catch his attention. Blaine switched off his phone without getting to send the text and looked up with an easy smile—which froze on his lips when he saw Kurt leaning against the door of the dressing room, with his legs that looked a mile long casually crossed at the ankles. Kurt uncrossed his legs and took a step forward before making a show of slowly swirling around.

If Blaine thought Kurt was hot before, he needed another adjective to describe how Kurt was looking right now because _fuck_. Kurt had never mentioned that the jeans he was dying to buy were torn and ripped and tight as fuck and were going to fit him like gloves fit fingers. The cuts all along the length of legs were showing glimpses of Kurt's skin, teasingly suggesting what else might be revealed, and the way they were hugging his ass in all the right ways, leaving literally nothing to the imagination, was making Blaine's mouth water.

And Blaine didn't know how he hadn't realized Kurt was going commando under his pants, but it was _so_ obvious now; Kurt definitely wasn't wearing any underwear. And, although Blaine had seen him _naked_ before, multiple times even, there was something so totally mind-blowingly sexy about the way the fabric was stretched around the halves of Kurt's ass, covering it like a second skin. 

Blaine realized he was staring when Kurt cleared his throat again, a little exaggeratedly this time, and god, the look on Kurt’s face—like he knew exactly what he was doing to him—made something suddenly snap inside of Blaine. He took a quick, desultory look around before pulling Kurt back inside the dressing room he had just left, closing the door firmly behind them. 

“We're buying them,” he growled in Kurt's ear, slotting one thigh between Kurt's, his hands already on Kurt's ass, groping, rubbing and squeezing the perky flesh through the fabric as if he couldn't decide what he wanted to do first. 

“Do you think they’d mind if we made them a little dirty first?” Kurt almost purred.

The reaction from Blaine was even more than Kurt had hoped for. He’d seen the jeans on a model before so he knew just how tight they were. He knew that the fabric would accentuate his assets, and he knew it would get Blaine excited. What he didn't expect was Blaine almost foaming at the mouth like some feral dog and, fuck, was it _hot_.

The way Blaine forced them into the tiny dressing room and let his hands roam roughly and unapologetically all over the new fabric was a complete turn-on. Kurt could feel himself getting excited, and he knew that these jeans in particular accentuated that, as well. Kurt, his breathing already slightly erratic, extended his long neck for Blaine to attack with his mouth.

“Honestly I don't give a fuck if they care,” Kurt gasped. “After all, if I’m buying them, I’ll have to get the things off somehow.”

Blaine sank his teeth into the delectable skin where Kurt's neck met his shoulder; he sucked and licked until he had Kurt whimpering and breathing heavily against his body. As he continued to fumble with the buttons on the jeans, he spoke hotly against Kurt’s skin.

“Don't you worry, beautiful, I'm at your service; we’ll get them off together.”

xxx

_Day 3_

It was kind of a perfect afternoon, and Kurt hadn't really done much of anything all day. He had awakened with Blaine in his bed, which was kind of strange because Blaine, for some unfathomable reason, had insisted that they sleep apart last night. Knowing Blaine couldn’t stay away from him for even one night filled Kurt with so many emotions that he felt full to overflowing.

They took their time cuddling and engaging in other fabulous activities that left Kurt breathless and a little hungry. They made a late breakfast together, Blaine making the pancakes and Kurt the bacon. The rest of the morning had been spent on the sofa with Blaine working on his thesis and Kurt reading a book. Blaine sat back with his feet on the coffee table while Kurt stretched out, his head on the armrest and his legs stretched across Blaine’s lap, while Blaine balanced his laptop on Kurt’s legs. They both found this arrangement surprisingly comfortable, and the comfort level improved Blaine’s ability to stay focused.

Finally, though, Blaine closed his laptop and set it on the end table before running his fingers through Kurt's hair; Kurt couldn't help the sounds of contentment that left his lips.

Kurt looked up, relishing the fact that Blaine was already looking at him. “All done being a responsible adult?”

Blaine's lips twitched up into a fond smile at the sounds he evoked from Kurt, and he started to massage Kurt's scalp gently, enjoying the way Kurt was relaxing into his lap. 

“Nope. It's a full time job with you being my baby boy,” he teased, tugging at Kurt's hair slightly. “Come on, get up. You've been a very good boy all day; so I'm taking you to my favorite waffle place.” 

Kurt rolled his eyes at the “boy” reference, but smiled before standing up and pulling Blaine up and into his body to kiss him sweetly. As it always seemed to, the kiss quickly turned into something more heated, and Kurt had to pull himself back eventually, blushing furiously at his lack of self-control. He slipped his hands into Blaine’s back pockets, ducking slightly to bury his face in the side of his neck.

“I... uh... guess I'm not as good of a boy as you thought now, am I?”

He pushed a little farther back from Blaine to keep himself from diving in for a second taste of those delicious lips, blushing once again when Blaine started to chuckle. Kurt shook his head and pushed Blaine playfully.

“It's not my fault! Stop being so damn irresistible and take me to get some waffles!”

Blaine made a show of looking at Kurt with big, innocent eyes and a confused expression on his face, as if he wasn't feeling the same hunger for Kurt as Kurt had for him. He grabbed Kurt's hand, his phone, and his keys with his other hand before leading him out of the house. Blaine locked the door while Kurt gathered their helmets from the chair on their front porch. Blaine didn't remember a time when he had been so in sync with another person as he was with Kurt. Not even with Jamie. It was nice, if also a little scary.

Kurt flashed Blaine a mega-watt smile as Blaine led him to the bike, putting his helmet on without Blaine having to tell him. Blaine shook his head when Kurt moved to straddle the back of the bike; he pointed at the forward seat. Kurt took his helmet off and looked at Blaine in disbelief.

“Thought maybe _you’d_ want to give _me_ a ride this time?” Blaine asked, enjoying the way Kurt's eyes widened, first in disbelief and then in excitement as what Blaine said started to sink in.

Kurt almost dropped his helmet at Blaine's suggestion. He never thought in a million years Blaine would let him drive his Harley—and not just because he was so protective of his bike. Blaine had been so protective of Kurt since day one that it was a miracle he was willing to let Kurt do anything with any danger level at all. Kurt didn't know the first thing about driving a motorcycle, just what he had picked up while holding onto Blaine and watching him as he drove. This was so different—dangerous, exciting—and maybe a little terrifying.

“W-what? Blaine… no... I couldn't... Really? No... That's crazy. This is your baby! What if I break it or crash it or...”

Blaine pressed a finger against Kurt's lips, effectively hushing him, then tracing his lower lip with his thumb. 

“ _You_ ,” Blaine started, punctuating the word, “are my baby. And I see the way you look at me when I ride. You’re a natural; I can tell by the way you ride, even as a passenger. I know you'll love it. I'll talk you through it, I promise. Do you trust me?” 

Kurt stared almost reverently with wide eyes when Blaine corrected him and told him that no, _he_ was his baby. It was the equivalent of Blaine telling Kurt that he was one of the most important things in his life, and Kurt had no idea when that happened but, damn, did it feel good! Kurt bit his lip and nodded nervously, kissing Blaine's thumb.

“I trust you.”

Kurt let out a nervous breath and secured his helmet back on his head before climbing on the bike and tightly gripping the handlebars, waiting for some kind of instruction from Blaine as he tried his best to calm his nerves.

“O-okay, now what?”

Blaine covered Kurt's hand with his and squeezed his fingers, noticing how tense his posture was and how tightly he was gripping the handlebars. 

“Okay, first of all, just try to relax. I'm here and I won't let anything bad happen to you. Deep breaths. In and out. Perfect.” 

Blaine calmly explained the different controls, having Kurt experiment a little with each and repeat back his instructions, until he was sure Kurt was feeling more comfortable. Then, after making sure Kurt knew how to start and stop the bike, he stepped back and pointed at the handlebars.

“Now pull in the clutch lever and put the bike into first gear. Yes, just like that. That's good.” 

He gave Kurt an encouraging smile before dropping his gaze to Kurt's feet.

“You'll want to put your feet out in front of you so that your heels are on the ground and your toes are pointed up.”

Blaine beamed when Kurt did exactly as he was told and gave him a thumbs up as he looked at Blaine expectantly.

“Okay now slowly let out the clutch lever until the bike starts to roll forward. Yes! That's it. See, you're a natural.” 

They continued like that, Blaine giving instructions both verbally and visually, encouraging Kurt with kisses when he got frustrated with himself. It didn't take long for Kurt to manage to power-walk the bike and ride in a straight line. Blaine wasn't just saying it when he told Kurt he was a natural. He was eager to learn and even more eager to please Blaine, and Blaine could fall for him even more for even that reason alone. 

He put on his own helmet and sat behind Kurt, wrapping both arms around Kurt's waist, his chin on Kurt's shoulder. 

“We'll only take back roads, but I think you can take us to Lola's now. I'll give you the directions. Is that okay with you, sir?” Blaine spoke playfully into Kurt's ear while spreading his fingers on Kurt's stomach. 

Kurt was becoming more confident under Blaine's sincere encouragement, and he had to admit it felt good having Blaine behind him, holding onto him for a change. Something about being in control, being the one Blaine trusted to get him somewhere safely felt good. Kurt didn't think he would give up riding passenger and having an excuse for tightly holding Blaine forever, but this was a nice change of pace. 

Kurt nodded and turned around to place one last kiss on Blaine's lips before kicking off and starting out on the quiet side street. It was a little shaky at first, with Kurt getting the hang of the clutch, and his speed was a bit erratic, but Blaine was patient and his calm voice soothed Kurt's nerves. Before he knew it he was pulling into Lola's parking lot; he turned off the bike and put the kickstand down. He had an exhilarated look on his face as he took his helmet off, not even caring about his messed up hair. Once Blaine was off the bike, Kurt surprised both of them by pretty much jumping into his arms.

“Blaine, god that was such a rush! I-I haven't felt like that since you took me on that first ride. Thank you!”

Blaine was taken aback by the way Kurt just threw himself into his arms right in the middle of Lola's parking lot, but he didn't waste a single second before wrapping his arms around Kurt, relishing the kisses Kurt was scattering all over his neck. Something in the way Kurt looked at Blaine right after he turned off the bike, as if he couldn't believe it had actually happened, made Blaine's heart practically swell in his chest. He wasn't some comic-book hero, but when Kurt looked at him the way he did, Blaine couldn't help but feel like one. 

He brought one hand up and grabbed the back of Kurt's head, his other still wrapped securely around Kurt's waist as he nuzzled into Kurt's neck, “Anything for you.” 

xxx

_Day 2_

Ever since Kurt told Blaine he was going out to have some drinks with Noah, it seemed as if Blaine hadn't been himself—well, he hadn't seemed like the Blaine he’d been since they’ve been together—more like the Blaine from before, when he’d been hiding his feelings. Kurt kind of understood; after all, they only had a little over a week left before they came to their proverbial fork in the road. Still, Kurt missed his best friend, and he also thought Noah was starting to suspect something.

Kurt finished fixing his hair and went downstairs to find Blaine sitting on the couch, absentmindedly scrolling through the guide on the TV, not really selecting a show. He sat next to him and kissed him on the cheek, but frowned when Blaine didn't lean into it like he usually did.

“Everything okay, gorgeous?” 

Blaine knew he’d been acting like a moody teenager since the moment Kurt told him he was meeting Noah for drinks. It wasn't that he wanted Kurt all to himself—okay maybe he did—but he had only two days left before Jamie came to visit, and Blaine would have to go back to all that pretending crap, and he so wasn't ready for this…this whatever this relationship with Kurt might be…this…this imperfectly perfect relationship…to end.

He shrugged casually at Kurt's question and nodded absentmindedly, fighting the urge to grab Kurt's hand and not let him out of his sight.

“Yeah, sure. Why?” 

Kurt sighed but decided not to push it, thinking Blaine would most likely just shut down even more if he did. He squeezed Blaine's leg, noticing a hint of sadness in his eyes, making Kurt almost reach for the phone to cancel on Noah. Instead, he tried to be reassuring as he continued, “ _Okay_... Well, we’re only going to grab a couple beers. I won't be late; I wouldn't want to miss our…um…bedtime ritual.”

Kurt thought he would at least get a smirk out of that, but… nothing.

Blaine shook his head and continued to flip channels without actually seeing what was on TV. 

“Don't worry about it,” he replied, attempting to brush it off. Blaine knew he wasn't being fair; god did he know, but he couldn't help feel like this was just a preview of how his life was going to be once they were forced out of their happy bubble. 

“Tell Noah I said hi,” he tried; it was a weak response, but, hey, it was the effort that counted. 

Kurt thought they were past this routine of hiding what they were feeling and acting like they just didn't care, but apparently they weren't—or at least Blaine wasn’t. Kurt shook his head and stood up, grabbing his keys from the table next to Blaine.

“Fine. I guess I’ll just see you later... or not. Whatever.”

Kurt didn't wait for Blaine to respond; he was tired of his passive aggressiveness; so he just walked out the door and got into his car without another word. It was like he was on auto-pilot as he drove to the Cue Club to meet Noah, worrying about whether he should have stayed at the house or pushed Blaine to talk about what was bothering him. Walking into the bar, he tried to shake the sense of guilt and confusion so he could give Noah his full attention.

Kurt smiled when he saw that Noah already had a table and a beer waiting for him

“Sorry I'm late; it was... nothing. Thanks for the beer.”

Noah raised an eyebrow at Kurt, watching how quickly he was drinking his Corona.

“What's up, dude?”

There was a concerned look on Noah's face, and Kurt got the feeling he knew something. It was becoming really exhausting keeping up this charade, but he still tried to act like his entire mind wasn't on Blaine.

“Nothing. It was just… Blaine, he was in this mood when I left, and it just brought me down. He really is frustrating; I'm glad to get out for a while.”

Okay; so maybe it wasn't possible to pretend he wasn't thinking about Blaine and, judging from the look Noah was giving him, his friend wasn't buying his failed attempt of brushing it off as nothing.

Noah set his beer down, analyzing the stressed-out look on Kurt’s face, knowing that it wasn’t the reaction of a guy who didn’t care, who didn’t have something else invested. Noah kicked Kurt lightly under the table and looked at him, serious concern written on his face.

“Is there something going on between you? And don't lie, man. I'm your best friend.”

Kurt dropped his head, feeling defeated; he took a deep breath before trying to even attempt to explain things to Noah.

“It's complicated, okay? We’re just trying to figure it out, and we didn't want to tell anyone until we did… and with Jamie coming... I think Blaine is really worried about that, but he won't say anything.” 

Noah smiled just enough for the corners of his mouth to turn up slightly as he took a long drink of his beer.

“I knew it. I honestly saw something there from the party where we first met. It was only a matter of time. Your secret’s safe with me, dude; you should’ve known that. But maybe you should go back home. It's obviously bothering you.”

Kurt smiled genuinely at his friend but shook his head.

“No, it…it's fine. I came out to spend the night with you; so that’s what I’m going to do. I'm not wor—”

“Go home, Kurt,” Noah said matter-of-factly. “Go check if that boy of yours is okay, and I’ll go talk that hot redhead at the end of the bar into going home with me.”

Kurt looked closely at Noah to make sure he was serious and not upset, but he seemed sincere and insistent; so Kurt finished his beer, hugged his friend with a newly appreciated warmth instead of the usual bro-hug, and left the club. He walked quickly to his car, eager to get home.

Blaine had been feeling like shit since he heard the uneasiness and hurt in Kurt's voice before he left the house. It wasn't Kurt's fault he was having such a hard time accepting that their time together was coming to an end. Blaine didn't even know what he was trying to do, acting as if he couldn't care less about Kurt coming back home. He cared a lot about that actually. He cared so much he didn't realize he was already at the door when he heard the doorknob turn. He didn't even question why Kurt was back so early; he was just really glad he was.

He didn't give Kurt even a second to breathe before he pulled him inside and pushed him against the door, crashing their lips together.

“I'm sorry,” Blaine whispered furiously. “I'm an asshole; I'm really sorry.”

Kurt knew he’d made the right choice to come home early as soon as Blaine began placing desperate kisses on his lips again and again in between whispered apologies. Although he was grateful for the apologies, it was obvious Blaine needed him and whether he told him why wasn't the point; the point was that Kurt felt like he belonged somewhere, _with someone_ , and he had never felt like that before. He grabbed Blaine's face with both hands, stopping him so he could look into those gorgeous eyes.

“It's okay, baby, really; it's fine. I wanted to come home and just be with you. So can we do that? Just be us—together?”

Blaine nodded his head fervently and continued placing kisses all over Kurt's face and then resting his forehead against Kurt's. Kissing Kurt felt like the most intense kind of breathing. 

“Yeah,” Blaine whispered, his voice cracking at the intensity of his own feelings, the overwhelming need to just keep Kurt in his arms and never let him go. “Yeah, I'd like that.” 

xxx

_Day 1_

It wasn't even that late, and Kurt shouldn't have been so tired, but here he was, finding it hard to keep his eyes open as he nestled into Blaine's chest while they watched Gilmore Girls on Netflix—Kurt's choice, but now Blaine's secret obsession. Kurt loosely draped his arm around Blaine's stomach, yawning and burying his nose further into his side.

“Mmmm, that sex on the kitchen table earlier made me sleepy; you're tiring me out, old man.”

Blaine shook his head even though Kurt couldn't see him because of the way his face was buried deep in Blaine's chest; he gently squeezed Kurt's side. 

“Hey, no, don't fall asleep on me now. I wanna know who Rory’ll end up choosing in the next episode,” Blaine said, his voice soft and maybe a little desperate, trying to keep Kurt awake as long as he could. 

Kurt replied with a sleepy “hmm” and snuggled closer into Blaine's chest, and Blaine tried hard not to lose it then and there. So this was it. This was his last night with Kurt; there would be no more lazy mornings in bed, spontaneous make up sessions, or all those easy smiles and cuddles that Blaine just couldn't get enough of. Blaine knew Kurt would be furious with him for not telling him about Jamie’s change of plans and arrival, but maybe that was for the best. Blaine didn't know how to say no to Kurt when he looked at Blaine like he hung the moon. 

He just didn't think it would hurt this much to say goodbye to something that wasn't even his in the first place, but there was no doubt in his mind that that was what he deserved. He was a terrible friend for betraying his best friend's trust with the most important thing in his life. There was no excuse for what he had done, just that he wanted Kurt too much to resist, and he had to bear the consequences now—which meant letting go of probably the best thing that had ever happened to him. Looking back, he couldn’t even pinpoint when and how it all happened—when want turned into need, attraction into affection, and fondness into other possible emotions Blaine was scared to think about. 

He leaned down to place a kiss on Kurt's forehead, instinctively wrapping his arms around him even more tightly. Maybe he didn't deserve many things in life, but he believed he deserved at least one last night of having Kurt in his arms. Even if that meant he had to set an alarm and send Kurt to his room before it was too late. 

“Lorelai's drinking coffee again; we're supposed to be kissing right now, Kurt,” Blaine reminded, burying his nose in the mess of Kurt's rumpled hair. 

Kurt's mouth turned into a drowsy smile at Blaine’s words, and he placed a kiss on Blaine's belly without even opening his eyes. He was too comfortable, too at home to not completely relax in Blaine's hold. It had been three spectacular weeks, weeks of getting to really know Blaine, of getting to explore every inch of him and weeks of this—just being with each other, in the simplest form—and it was Kurt's favorite.

He knew he only had one more week of being able to fit into Blaine's arms effortlessly and without consequences. He knew once Jamie knew about them, they would have to come back to the real world, have to make some serious decisions. Kurt knew what he wanted, and he thought he knew what Blaine did, as well. But until doomsday actually arrived, Kurt just wanted this—he wanted to be able to fall asleep in the arms of the man who felt like everything to him more and more with each passing day. So that's what he did; he let Blaine's one last sweet plea to stay awake go unanswered and fell into an easy, comfortable sleep.

Blaine pressed a dry kiss against the bit of skin he could reach, and another and another until Kurt's grip around his waist loosened a bit, and Kurt's breaths were coming less urgently, more slowly, deepening as sleep overtook him. 

Blaine lay in the darkness with his eyes open for a long time after Kurt's breaths dropped into the familiar rhythm of sleep. He just tried to savor the moment, the warmth of Kurt's body against his, the beat of his heart, steady and peaceful, the feel of his breaths against Blaine's skin. It was the closest Blaine ever felt to a perfect moment as he, too, fell asleep.

Jamie pulled onto the familiar street and up to the house where he had too many memories to count. California had turned out to be pretty awesome, but it wasn't home like this was. He smiled at the half dead cactus in their front yard, picturing the time Blaine was drunk out of his mind and fell butt first into it, breaking part of it off—and then, only because Blaine was like family to him, spending the rest of the night picking thorns out of his bare ass. Jamie laughed at the memory as he grabbed his duffle bag from the back seat of his Jeep and walked up to his old house. He checked his watch; it was approaching midnight so he decided it would be best to just walk in and surprise the crap out of Kurt, and even Blaine a little since he’d arrived a few hours earlier than planned.

He walked past the entryway with a happy smile, rolling his eyes at the numerous pairs of shoes piled beneath the coat rack. It seemed like Kurt was having no problem adapting to sharing a living space with Blaine. He dropped his duffel bag onto the lone chair in the hall and walked into the living room with a “Hey, losers!” at the tip of his tongue—except he never got to let it out. The sight that met him stopped his breath and rooted him to the spot. 

Of all the times he imagined surprising Kurt and Blaine, this was never what he thought he would be coming home to. Jamie closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again to make sure it wasn't some trick his brain was playing—that he was actually looking at Kurt snuggled into Blaine's body, his face buried in the crook of Blaine's neck, their legs tangled, and one of Blaine’s hands underneath Kurt's shirt.

Jamie had countless memories of falling asleep with Blaine cuddled to his side or vice versa, but none of them would have made anyone feel like they were intruding into something private while looking at them. And that was exactly what Jamie was feeling. He knew deep down that he should be angry and hurt and disappointed, but his first reaction to seeing his baby brother sleeping peacefully in his best friend's arms was to fight the urge to look away because it was almost too much. They looked so at ease with each other that Jamie didn't need to be a genius to know it wasn't something new. And that…that was what sucked most.

He walked back out as quietly as he walked in, grabbing his bag along the way. He was dumbfounded and numb, as if his brain couldn't decide what he should be feeling first. He sank down to the chair on their front porch and took his phone out of his pocket, typing a text to Blaine. 

To Blaine: Hope you losers aren’t sleeping yet because I'll be there in 10. 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off apologies for the delay in this chapter, one of us was out on vacation for a week so the writing and editing process was a little slow. Nonetheless we are back now! :) The response to the last chapter was so great and it meant a lot because I think it was our favorite chapter so far. That being said this chapter is pretty much all angst and ugh it was hard to write but I think we all saw it coming. Thanks again to our beta, you are much appreciated!!

_“How weightless words are when nothing will do”_

-Phillip Levine, Gospel

 

Blaine's whole body jerked up at the feeling of something vibrating against his thigh, and his eyes cracked open on their own accord. Kurt was still sleeping soundly in his arms, and it took him a couple minutes to realize it was his phone that woke him up in the first place. He shifted very carefully so as not to wake Kurt and took his phone out of his pocket, his heart sinking at the preview of the text he saw on the screen. 

He untangled himself from Kurt with practiced ease, placing a lingering kiss on his forehead before getting up from the couch. Jamie had said he wanted to surprise Kurt, but he managed to surprise Blaine, too. There was a time Blaine liked surprises…now…not so much. 

He went into the kitchen, opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of cold water, downing half of it at one go and feeling a bit more oriented and awake thanks to the ice cold water coursing down his throat and settling in his empty stomach.

Jamie could walk in any moment, and Blaine was sweating like crazy. He wanted to go take Kurt back in his arms, give him one last kiss before he had to face Jamie, tell Kurt he was sorry he couldn't be what he wanted, but hey it was nice while it lasted, right? Blaine's head hurt—along with his heart, but he managed to curl his lips into a smile at the sound of the front door opening. 

Kurt was awakened from his peaceful sleep by someone shaking him like there was a fire or something, and he vaguely heard what sounded like his brother’s voice. He didn't open his eyes right away, thinking he was dreaming or something, but when the shaking continued, he finally opened his eyes, only to find Jamie with a big goofy grin plastered on his face. Kurt was speechless at first, looking around quickly to find Blaine because his last memory was of them curled up on the couch together, definitely not looking like your typical roommates. His eyes finally found Blaine halfway across the room, standing awkwardly with a stoic expression on his face that he was trying to force into a smile. Kurt only focused back on Jamie when he basically picked him up and hugged the crap out of him. 

“Jamie!! What…what’re you doing here? You're not supposed to be here for another week!”

Jamie ruffled Kurt's hair and pressed a kiss to his cheek with a loud smack before loosening his grip around him, an eyebrow quirked at Kurt's words. 

“It's good to see you, too, little brother,” Jamie quipped, taking in Kurt's sleep rumpled hair, heated cheeks and bare feet. “They cancelled classes for next week because of some seminar thing I don't give a crap about; so here I am. And thanks to this one there,” he pointed to Blaine, a teasing smirk on his face, “I got to surprise the shit out of you. I knew I could trust you, bro.” 

Blaine forced a responding smile and ran a hand through his hair; Jamie's words made him want to puke all over the floor, his heart beating uncomfortably fast. 

“Shut up and come give me hug, you asshole,” Blaine said, choosing to ignore the last bit of Jamie's sentence and Kurt's eyes, which were trying to catch Blaine’s. He _had_ missed his best friend after all. Jamie obliged quickly. Maybe Blaine was a little desperate, tightly wrapping his arms around Jamie and breathing deeply into the crook of Jamie's neck, but he didn't care. At that moment, it was the only thing he could do and not feel like a big hypocrite, while trying to fake smiles and emotions. 

Kurt was blindsided. In a matter of minutes it felt like he’d lost a week of his life and, with the way Blaine was avoiding his eyes, maybe even something more. He knew…Blaine _knew_ , and he’d never once mentioned it to him. Kurt stood watching Jamie and Blaine reuniting and couldn’t understand why Blaine would have kept Jamie’s early arrival from him. Sure, Jamie had wanted it to be a surprise, but Blaine should have known this wasn’t the kind of surprise Kurt would enjoy. It was just that Kurt thought they’d had more time; he thought he had one more week to tell Blaine how he really felt, feelings that were scary as hell but were bubbling up at the surface. But Blaine had known they didn't have that time, and he didn’t seem to care. All of this made Kurt feel like shit, too; his first feelings when he saw his brother after months away from each other shouldn't have been disappointment, but because Blaine hadn’t been honest with him, it was.

After Blaine and Jamie had their reunion, there was an awkward moment when it seemed no one had anything to say; Kurt could feel the tension, even if it was just in his head. He needed time to process, time to figure out what to do now that he lost a week and the real world was shaking him awake. As he made his way towards the stairs, he placed a hand on Jamie's shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze while trying his best not to acknowledge Blaine for fear that, if Blaine’s eyes caught his, his own reaction would give everything away.

“It’s good to have you back, big bro. I'm exhausted, though; so we'll talk in the morning, ok?” and, without really giving Jamie a chance to respond, he continued towards the stairs.

Blaine was quiet when Kurt left the room without looking back; he had to fight the urge to follow him to his room. He could feel the heaviness of Jamie's stare, and it was beyond awkward. There had never been a time where Blaine felt uncomfortable in Jamie's presence, but it seemed there was a first time for everything. Blaine let out a self-deprecating laugh and turned to face Jamie. 

“Hungry?” he asked, not quite looking Jamie in the eye.

Jamie shook his head, his own gaze unwavering as he spoke. “Nope. Could go for a beer, though.” 

Blaine almost let out a sigh of relief just because it gave him something to do with his hands. He opened two bottles, handed Jamie one, and sat across from him at the small dinner table in the kitchen. 

“So. How's San Diego treating you other than that redhead you sounded pretty hung up on?” 

Blaine thought it was a pretty safe topic to dance around for now, and from the smile that formed across Jamie's face at the mention of the redhead, it was a good choice.

Jamie shrugged, taking a sip of his beer, his big blue eyes never leaving Blaine's face. 

“It's nice, but it isn't home. The redhead has a name, by the way, and be prepared to hear it a lot more.” 

Blaine relished the good-natured wink Jamie threw his way; it was almost like the old times. But then Jamie's eyes hardened, only slightly, but Blaine could read him like an open book at this point; so he noticed. 

“How about you guys? I know you tell me everything is fine, and Kurt does the same, but I can't help but worry. How's _he_ doing?” 

Blaine swallowed thickly and moved to take a long, slow sip of his beer to win some time, feeling naked under Jamie's close scrutiny, his palms sweating. 

“You know he's doing okay; you talk to him every day. Has a best friend and all 

God, why was he so awkward? Why was _this_ so awkward? 

“Yeah?” Jamie hummed, his eyes wide as he held Blaine's gaze expectantly, “and he's over the whole Adam thing, right?” 

Blaine nodded curtly, looking away from Jamie's calculating eyes as he nervously peeled the label off his beer bottle. 

“As far as I know, yeah,” was all he could manage, his throat feeling too dry despite the fact that he was nursing a beer. 

“I think I'm gonna crash, too. Wanna take my bed? I don't mind sleeping on the couch.” 

Jamie shook his head, and Blaine couldn't help feel like he’d disappointed him somehow—and Jamie didn't even know the half of it. 

“It’s okay,” Jamie replied, his voice tired and a little bit distant, or it could have just been Blaine projecting, “I'll see you in the morning.” 

xxx

Kurt hadn't slept much over the course of the night. He spent most of the night hoping Blaine would sneak in but knowing he wouldn't. He had so much to say to him, things to ask, things that they needed to work out together before the shit hit the fan. But now it felt like the barrier he had managed to knock down with Blaine was back up even before Kurt could fully process what had happened the night before. Even though he was hurt because Blaine kept Jamie's surprise visit from him, he knew that if they just had time alone they could figure everything out. He just hoped Blaine was still on the same page.

Kurt left his room to go get some caffeine in his system just as Blaine was also leaving his room. Kurt gave him an expectant smile when Blaine looked him in the eyes, but their connection was quickly lost when they heard the TV turn on downstairs. With that Blaine shuffled awkwardly past Kurt and, without another look, headed for the stairs. Kurt followed a minute or so later once the pain where his heart was didn’t feel so excruciating. Kurt tried his best not to let his disappointment show on his face as he gave Jamie a good morning hug and headed to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee, needing something to do.

Kurt listened to Jamie and Blaine catch up in the living room, their voices growing louder as they made their way to the kitchen just as Kurt had finished brewing a pot of coffee. Out of habit, Kurt reached up and got two mugs from the cabinet and filled both with coffee, making Blaine's black with two sugars and handing it to him without even thinking before he noticed Jamie watching with a curious look. Kurt tried not to bring attention to the fact that he knew by heart how Blaine took his coffee as he handed Jamie the other mug.

“Creamer?” he asked, trying to make it seem as though he was asking both Jamie and Blaine, knowing full well Blaine would decline it.

Jamie shook his head, eyeing Blaine's cup, speaking even before Blaine had a chance to respond. 

“Just a little milk for me... Well, well, you two certainly have gotten close...knowing how Blaine takes his coffee and all.”

Kurt froze as he was pouring himself a cup; of course Jamie knew how Blaine’s took his coffee. Kurt began to panic that his subconscious had just outed them before they could explain everything to Jamie, but he recovered as well as he could, hoping it was just a general question. Kurt risked a glance at Blaine, who wasn't even touching his coffee and was looking everywhere but at Kurt.

“Ah, well…I just eventually learned so I wouldn't have to hear him nag me every day, that's all.”

Jamie took a long drink of his coffee, not acknowledging Kurt's response while trying to pretend it didn't suck hardcore to have your brother lie or, at the very least, keep the truth from you. There was a time when Kurt would tell Jamie everything, when Jamie was the only one he would tell things to. Jamie let out a small sigh; oh how times have changed.

Blaine opened the fridge to take out the ingredients to make some pancakes so that, for at least a couple of minutes, he wouldn't have to look Jamie in the eyes and lie to him. God, this was a fucking mess; Blaine had missed Jamie, but now there was this huge barrier between them, and Blaine was worried that, no matter how much he tried, they wouldn't be able to get rid of it. Not unless he spilled. Not unless he could take time back. And if he had to be honest, he still didn't regret one single second with Kurt…and he didn't know if that made him an even worse person. 

He was mixing the ingredients when Jamie rose to his feet and stood in front of Kurt, pushing his shirt all the way up.

“Damn! The pictures didn't do it justice; this is fucking amazing.” 

Blaine could feel Kurt's eyes on him, but he didn't meet his gaze; instead he focused on the tattoo Jamie was examining so closely.

“What do you say, Blaine?” Jamie asked, looking up from the tattoo while Blaine was still looking at Jamie's hand on Kurt's side. “Do you like it, too?” 

Blaine's head snapped up at that, his hand gripping the edge of the counter tightly. 

“Uh.,.yeah, I mean, it’s just a tattoo,” he squeaked, rolling his eyes when Jamie arched an eyebrow, looking at him expectantly. 

“It's nice,” Blaine tried one more time, this time more decisively and shrugging casually as if to say he couldn't care less about Kurt's tattoo. 

“Do we have bacon?” he asked Kurt, trying to sound as natural as he could without meeting Kurt's eyes because he just couldn't take that chance. 

“Got it, B,” Kurt replied, moving around Blaine effortlessly; Blaine would have loved the domesticity of it if he hadn’t been freaking the fuck out inside. 

Breakfast was brutal for Kurt. Jamie wouldn't stop with the questions. “Kurt, has Blaine given you a ride on his motorcycle yet?” “So, tell me Blaine, is Kurt carrying on our legacy at ASU and bringing home guys every weekend?” Kurt knew Jamie was probably just curious about how life had been since he'd been gone, but every time he would have to lie to his brother, he just felt sicker and sicker. They had to tell him. This wasn't fair to any of them. Maybe it wasn't even that big of a deal. Oh, who was he kidding; it was a huge fucking deal, but they still needed to come clean or it would just get worse, if that was possible.

Jamie had insisted on cleaning up breakfast since Blaine and Kurt had cooked. As he cleaned, his eyes would dart to where Kurt was sitting across from Blaine, and the weight of the secret they had been keeping could be felt through the entire kitchen. Blaine was keeping himself busy with his phone; so it was difficult to get his attention. When Kurt finally caught his eye, he gave Blaine what he hoped was a _we need to talk look;_ then he cleared his throat and looked at Jamie, who was finishing up the dishes.

“I'm going to go take a shower. After you’re done with the dishes, can you come clean my room? You're doing such a good job.”

Kurt winked and laughed a little when Jamie threw a dish-towel his way, glancing at Blaine once more before going up stairs.  

Blaine considered not following Kurt upstairs, but it felt as if Kurt had been staring at him all morning, and it was putting Blaine on edge more and more every time Kurt tried to catch his attention. 

So he rambled off something about having to send an email to his professor and made his way upstairs to his room. He pretty much knew Kurt would be there instead of his own room, and he was right. Kurt was sitting on his bed with Blaine's pillow on his lap; he couldn't help the way his heart fluttered in his chest at the way Kurt's entire face lit up when he saw Blaine. 

Blaine made sure to close the door behind him; he leaned against it with his whole body, not trusting himself to be on the same bed with Kurt.

“So…?” he said, crossing his arms over his chest and looking anywhere but at Kurt's face. 

 Kurt let out a huge sigh of relief, immediately feeling like the huge weight on his shoulders was a little more bearable now. He got up and quickly made his way over to Blaine, feeling an overwhelming need to just touch him. Kurt wrapped his hand around the back of Blaine's neck and leaned in for a much needed kiss, but just when he thought Blaine was grabbing his hips to pull him closer, he felt a light push, and Blaine pulled his entire body back from Kurt's. It was such a weird feeling, being rejected by Blaine, because that had never really happened before; even when they were trying to deny their attraction for each other neither of them had been able to stop it. The only conclusion he could come up with was that it was just nervousness because of Jamie being right downstairs.

“C'mon Blaine, the door’s closed; he won't walk in. Just kiss me.”

Blaine shook his head, looking down at his feet rather than at Kurt's face; he took a couple of steps away from where Kurt was standing. 

“Kurt, stop,” he almost pleaded, and he could already feel his heart breaking at the sharp intake of breath Kurt took at his words. 

“We said until Jamie was here, didn't we?” he continued, his voice shaking when he finally looked up to face Kurt. 

“And he's here, Kurt. I can't… We can't just... _Fuck_.” 

Kurt couldn't do anything but stare at Blaine, not knowing what emotions to feel; they were all so close and right at the surface. He was sure the hurt was readable on his face, and there was nothing he could do to mask it.

“We said…” Kurt had to pause and start his sentence over, the quiver in his voice a surprise even to him. “We said we would give it until he got here to decide if this was worth it, if _we_ were worth it. But you... This was only ever just what? A month-long experiment to you?”

Blaine visibly flinched at Kurt's words, instinctively taking another step back. It wasn't what Kurt was asking Blaine that made his heart drop to his stomach; it was the way he asked it—so resigned and disappointed, as if he actually believed it was possible that Blaine felt that way. 

Blaine wanted to say _Are you crazy? I'm this close to falling in love with you!_ Instead he swallowed the unsaid words and settled for an “I'm sorry.” He knew he was even a bigger asshole than he imagined if he thought those words, even if he meant them, would be enough.

“I've been feeling like shit since he came here. I can't even look him in the eyes without feeling awful. I just can't do this to him any longer, okay? He's my best friend, and I've been... Fuck, Kurt you have to understand!”

Kurt crossed his arms and took a couple steps back, trying to breathe, but feeling like he was drowning as Blaine asked him to understand. How could he? How could he possibly understand that it was over when he had just started picturing a future with Blaine?

“And what about me? It's that easy to do this to _me_?”

Kurt suddenly had a realization about the last week they’d spent together, that seemingly perfect week. Kurt's couldn't help but raise his voice as he went through everything in his head.

“Wait a minute... You _knew_ he was coming… so this whole last week… all that crap about keeping me and being yours… all that was bullshit? God, I'm such an idiot!”

Blaine pressed his lips together to keep himself from saying something, anything that would make Kurt hate him even more. God, he should've known it would come to this, that he would end up hurting Kurt more than he would have if he could have just said no to him that very first time.

He walked to his desk, leaning back against it and not meeting Kurt's eyes, even though he could feel them boring into his soul, to the very core of him. 

“I'm really sorry,” he could only say, and he knew Kurt deserved more than that; god did he know! But there was literally nothing he could say without letting Kurt know how much he was dying inside, seeing him like this.

Kurt couldn't believe it. The room felt like it was spinning, and his whole world was falling apart. How could he have been so blind to think that they actually had something real, something worth fighting for?

“Sorry for what exactly, Blaine?” Kurt was aware that his voice was loud, but it was either that or start crying. ”Sorry for wasting my time, sorry for lying to me, or sorry for making me fall—”

Kurt shook his head and closed his mouth; Blaine didn't deserve to hear the rest of that sentence. 

“You think this is easy for me?” Blaine finally snapped, his fists clenched at his sides, his throat feeling raw from raising his voice suddenly. “We can't always get what we want, okay? It's part of being an adult.” 

Blaine paused, took a deep breath and looked into Kurt's eyes, already hating himself for what he was going to say. 

“Maybe it's time you act like one.” 

Kurt could feel the tears coming, and he hated himself for not being able to hold them back. He clenched his fists and tried to breathe, but all of his breaths caught in his throat. He took a couple steps toward Blaine, trying to hide the way his hands were shaking.

“You're right. How could I have been so fucking naive? But don't play like you’re the adult here, Blaine; you're just a fucking coward.”

Blaine felt his face crumble, and he couldn't fight the urge to reach out and touch Kurt's hand. Kurt jerked back like he was electrocuted. Blaine knew Kurt was right; Blaine wouldn't want to be touched by someone like himself, either. God, he hated this; he hated every single drop falling from Kurt's eyes. He hated the way they were so close yet unreachable to each other. Mostly he hated that Kurt was right; he was being a coward, and he was unable to do anything to change it. 

“I…I’m...” he made himself break off before his voice started cracking and shook his head. What use would another apology be anyway? 

Kurt didn't bother wiping his eyes when the tears started to fall; he wanted Blaine to see what he was doing to him, how he was breaking him from the inside out. He took one last look at Blaine and spoke as clearly as possible.

“I will never forgive you for this.”

Kurt stormed through their shared bathroom, grabbed his keys, wallet and phone from his dresser, and slammed his door loudly as he left his bedroom. He ran into Jamie who was standing in the hallway, no doubt listening to his and Blaine's conversation. Kurt didn't say anything; he hated that on some level he blamed part of this on his brother, but he couldn't help it; so he just blew past him and ran down the stairs and out to his car, needing to get away as quickly as possible.

Blaine sat down heavily onto his bed and put his head in his hands, the sight of Kurt's face streaked with tears making his heart hurt in the worst way possible. He was feeling physically ill simply because Kurt told him he would never forgive him; he couldn't help thinking that this whole idea of love must have been a mistake in the human psyche. Because there was no way that this was safe; there was no way that this was  _healthy_.

He didn't look up even when he became aware of Jamie's presence in the room, ignoring the way Jamie cleared his throat and drummed his fingers on his desk. Kurt was already gone, and he wasn't ready to lose the only other person that made sense in his life. 

Jamie was so tired of not being told what's going on, and he was hurt by the fact that his best friend still wouldn't say anything even after he saw his baby brother storm out of the house in tears. He kept his voice concerned but firm as he spoke since it was clear that Blaine was not going to start the conversation.

“So... Are you going to tell me what's up now, or continue to keep me in the dark?”

Blaine sighed and pushed the heels of his hand into his eyes, feeling the burn behind his eyelids, still refusing to meet Jamie's gaze. 

“I slept with Kurt.” he replied shortly, and sat out the pause that followed, the silence in the room deafening. “I have been for a while.” 

Jamie narrowed his eyes at Blaine, feeling like he deserved more of an explanation as he felt his protective big brother reflex start to kick in. After he’d witnessed the private moment on the couch the night before and had felt the heavy tension from the time he’d arrived, he knew there was more to this—and he felt like he deserved to know.

“Fucking look at me, man! You've been sleeping with Kurt? How did this even happen? When I left you could barely stand the kid!”

Blaine shrugged, his head pounding and his palms sweaty as fuck as he looked up from his lap to meet Jamie's eyes. There wasn't disgust or disappointment in his eyes like Blaine expected, just honest confusion and maybe a little anger. It only made Blaine feel even crappier. He deserved a punch in the face or an insult at the very least. 

“Oh, I assure you he's not a kid,” he started, giving Jamie a humorless laugh. He didn't know who he was trying to hurt anymore, who he was punishing. His head was killing him, and he could still see Kurt's tear-streaked face whenever he closed his eyes. He couldn't believe it was only fucking morning. 

Jamie had been Blaine’s friend for over six years, and he knew his facial cues, his mood swings, and the signs when he was throwing up walls so no one could get in. And he could see all the signs, although he had no clue why Blaine was trying to piss him off or shut him out, especially since if anyone had the right to do that it was him. He walked closer to Blaine, standing in front of him with his arms crossed and a confused frown on his face.

“That's my baby brother, you asshole. So it was just about sex then? Because from the way Kurt ran out of here it seemed...” Jamie stopped talking when Blaine popped his head up from where it was resting in his hands and waited for him to explain himself.

Blaine shook his head, his knuckles turning white from how tightly he was gripping the bedspread. 

“Why the fuck does it matter?” Blaine spit out, feeling dizzy and wasted even though he’d had nothing but coffee—that Kurt made—since he woke up. “I fucked your baby brother! Why aren't you mad?” 

Jamie sighed, starting to feel the anger building up—not because his best friend was sleeping with his little brother, which was still hard to wrap his mind around, but because there was something Blaine still wasn't telling him. Jamie felt betrayed. They used to tell each other everything no matter what, and now when it concerned the two most important people in his life, Blaine suddenly decided to keep secrets.

“You're being a fucking idiot, man. I'm disappointed as hell that you _or_ Kurt didn't tell me anything, that you're still not telling me _everything_. And if it’s just sex like you're telling me, then explain to me why the hell, of _all_ the guys in Arizona, you had to go for Kurt.”

“Well, it didn't hurt that he's fucking hot,” Blaine replied, all fake calmness and indifference. But when he saw the look on Jamie's face, as if Jamie couldn't recognize the person he was talking to, he shut his mouth. That was his plan all along. To make Jamie see what a fucking asshole he had been, and now that he managed it, he felt like he couldn't breathe, like there was literally something stuck in his throat that wouldn't let him breathe. 

He got up from the bed, his eyes searching around the room frantically until they landed on the keys on his desk. 

“I…I'm sorry, man,” he repeated for maybe the fifth time that day. “I don't ... Fuck! I need to go get some air, okay? I'm sorry. I really am, Jamie.” 

Jamie followed Blaine out of the room, stopping at the top of the stairs as Blaine jogged down them just as Kurt had only minutes before.

“Fine. But this isn't over, Blaine! I'll be here when you get back and we _are_ going to talk about this. I’m not leaving until we do.”

Blaine was on his bike in record speed, automatically buckling his helmet before roaring his bike to life. He knew he was in pretty deep shit when even the noise and vibration didn't help make him feel better. Blaine would get on his bike to clear his head on a long ride; he'd ride to bring things back into focus. But today it wasn't working. Not even the isolation from everything around him. Maybe that was the problem; he was still thinking too hard about everything that had happened. 

He took a sharp left turn and came out of the turn with more speed than he probably should have; he continued to accelerate as he passed a lone freeway. It was getting good. Everything started to be a blur. He could feel the total relaxation and peacefulness. No one interrupting or distracting. Just him, the wind, and his bike.

He was so lost in his own world, in the way the wind was licking his face that he didn't realize he was going faster than he should have on the on-ramp. The traction of his rear wheel gave out and slid on the asphalt just as another driver was trying to merge to enter the freeway, and Blaine skidded towards her. The car hit the front wheel of the bike as the rear wheel continued to slide. Blaine's bike was knocked from underneath him, careening away while Blaine was thrown across the car. The force and momentum were so great that his body slid and rolled along the pavement for several yards before finally coming to a slow and agonizing stop. There was far too much pain—his entire body was screaming—but Kurt's face as he told him he would never forgive him was the last thing he remembered. Then everything turned to darkness. 

xxx

Kurt sat in his car with only the sound of the air conditioner breaking the silence as he tried to think clearly about things, but even after at least three hours he couldn't make sense of anything. He had driven across the city, not stopping until he was able to at least get his breathing under control, and by the time he pulled off into an abandoned strip mall he didn’t even recognize where he was. He was startled out of his thoughts, or nightmares depending how you looked at it, by the loud ringing of his phone. Thinking that if it was Blaine he was either going to literally throw his phone out the window or break down for at least the fifth time today. But it wasn't Blaine, and even after everything that had happened, he was slightly disappointed when he saw Jamie's name come across the screen. He thought about answering it; he really did, but he decided that if Jamie was calling him, it meant he already knew, and Kurt wasn’t in any state to deal with his brother yelling at him right now. 

Kurt ignored Jamie’s calls three more times after that, each time feeling worse for it. When his phone rang for the fifth time in fifteen minutes, he was about to answer it just to tell Jamie to stop calling him when Noah's name flashed across the screen. Kurt sighed and swiped to answer the call.

“Not a great time, man...”

The other end of the phone was quiet for a second before Kurt heard Noah take a deep, heavy breath.

“Kurt? There's been an accident… It’s Blaine… He…um…he just got brought into the emergency room. I think you better get down here.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know we have left you in suspense for too long and we apologize. Our intention was to get this chapter out quickly but life and edits kind of got in the way of that goal. Hopefully the chapter is worth it. We absolutely love how passionate some of you have been for this story and believe us we are right there with you. We are thinking there will probably be maybe 2 more chapters after this one but we will see where it goes as we write them. As always thanks to our lovely beta for making us sound better. Enjoy! :)

_“When you meet that person – one of your soulmates – let the connection be what it is. It may be five minutes, five hours, five days, five months, five years, a lifetime. Let it manifest itself the way it is meant to. It has an organic destiny. This way, if it stays or if it leaves, you will be softer from having been loved this authentically. Souls come into, return, open and sweep through your life for a myriad of reasons. Let them be who and what they are meant to be.”_

_-Nayyirah Waheed_

 

Kurt only waited long enough to get the hospital information from Noah before he dropped the phone onto the seat beside him, not even bothering to disconnect the call. It took him three tries to buckle his seat belt because his hands were shaking too much; Noah’s words, “ _There’s been an accident,”_ kept running through his head, chilling him to his very core. He cursed himself for driving so far away from home—really, for just leaving at all.

As he pulled on to the highway, he thought about the last time he saw Blaine—how he yelled at him, how he told him he would never forgive him, how he left him without once ever really telling him how he felt—and now he was lying in a hospital bed, or an operating room or… something else Kurt wouldn’t allow himself to think. Kurt didn’t pay attention to the posted speed limit signs. It didn’t matter—his car couldn’t go fast enough.

He traveled down the highway, weaving in and out of traffic, hating himself for not realizing that the first thing Blaine would have done was get on his bike in an attempt to clear his head, for not noticing, blinded by his own anger, how broken and conflicted Blaine was, for not staying and standing in front of that fucking bike and refusing to move when Blaine tried to leave. Kurt’s knuckles were white as he anxiously gripped the steering wheel, frantically looking for an indication that he was almost there. He finally noticed a sign telling him his exit was only three miles away, and for one second, just one single moment, he had a feeling of relief; then the guilt washed over him anew.

As he came upon his exit, he honked several times at the person in front of him for going what was probably the normal speed limit before whipping around him, cutting another car off in the process. This was his fault; Blaine wouldn’t have gotten into an accident if he hadn’t left, if he hadn’t pushed him, if he hadn’t yelled.

Kurt exited the highway, having to slam on his brakes to avoid running into the back of another car; it was as if he was too far into his own head to realize that he had be driving like a crazy man, breaking too many laws to count, putting his own life and others in danger—all to get to Blaine, who had just been in a car accident.

As he pulled into the hospital grounds, Kurt could feel himself beginning to lose it, and when he finally parked his car in the visitor area near the ER, he broke down. His heart was beating like crazy, and he couldn’t catch his breath. Kurt closed his eyes as tightly as he could, struggling to take deep, regular breaths, all the while hoping with everything he had that this was just a horrible dream. He sat like that for a while, slowly realizing this was the horrible reality he was dealing with. He knew how important it was for him to get control of himself; if he ran into the hospital like a complete mess, they wouldn’t let him see Blaine—and he _had_ to see Blaine.

Kurt followed the signs to the Emergency Room with quick steps, the sterile smell of the hospital already making him sick to his stomach. As he pushed open the doors to the ER waiting room, he saw everyone sitting there, Santana with her arm around Quinn, Mike pacing the floor as Tina watched him nervously, and Noah already standing up to meet him. But Kurt pushed Noah aside as he approached; he didn’t need him right now, or anyone else for that matter; he just needed to see Blaine, needed to know he was okay. Kurt made a beeline to the nurse’s station; a pleasant looking older woman who was standing at the desk looked up just as he approached.

“Blaine Anderson…” Kurt managed to choke out before all his emotions started to bubble to the surface. He took a long shaky breath and tried to start over.

“I need to see Blaine Anderson.”  The woman pursed her lips together and started to shake her head no, but Kurt stopped her with his voice, this time a little louder. “Is he okay?  I…I have to see him. Please…please.”  The nurse looked down at some papers on her desk before looking back up into Kurt’s eyes with a sweet but stern look.

“Sir, all I can tell you, like I told the rest of his friends, is that he is resting now. He’s been through a lot, and a doctor will be out to talk with you when he can. Right now I can only let family in to see him.”

Kurt didn’t realize he was shaking his head no the entire time the nurse was talking, and he couldn’t care less if that was being rude; she didn’t understand.

“But I’m his…” Kurt stopped mid-sentence, his shoulders slouching in defeat; there was no label he could honestly give her. He looked up at the nurse with pleading eyes, a single tear falling down his cheek before he repeated himself, quietly, “I am _his_.”

The nurse smiled a half smile and looked around like she was checking for someone before she nodded and leaned in close, whispering, “Room 235, but I didn’t tell you that.”

Kurt smiled for the first time all day and ran through the door after sincerely thanking the nurse. Frantically, he looked around for room 235, finally seeing the room number at the end of the hall; it was as if he had tunnel vision. He made his way to the room with quick steps, opening the slightly cracked-open door all the way. Kurt stood riveted in the doorway, unable to move.

He couldn’t help the sudden intake of breath as he took at the sight of Blaine, lying unconscious on the single bed in the small room. Kurt’s eyes were drawn to the IV lines and the oxygen tubes, and _there were so many machines and…_ Kurt took a deep breath to steady himself. Blaine’s eyes were closed, but he was breathing slowly and evenly as the monitors beeped all around him. His left arm was in a sling that was secured against his body, and his right arm was a mess of cuts, scrapes and road rash. He had a big gash in his forehead and more scrapes and road rash across his cheek.

Kurt closed his eyes, holding onto the door and taking another deep, steadying breath as he tried to process what he was seeing. Then, he rushed to Blaine’s side, his hand quickly finding his uninjured right hand. He squeezed gently and, with his other hand, carefully moved a stray lock of hair from his face. Then he tenderly rested his hand against Blaine’s cheek, afraid to put too much pressure on it but needing to touch, to reassure—whether himself or Blaine, he didn’t know.

“Blaine, baby, I’m here. I’m right here.”

Blaine didn’t move, didn’t react to Kurt’s touches or words, and it was all Kurt could do to not break down. He hesitantly placed a kiss on Blaine’s cheek, just above a small cut and then another on his forehead next to the painful looking gash, and then one more light kiss on each of his eyelids. As he did so, Kurt felt Blaine’s eyes flutter open, and he quickly pulled back, watching and hoping. Blaine seemed to be trying to focus in on him, first blinking a couple times as if he was making sure Kurt was real; then he opened them again and stared dazedly at Kurt.

Kurt could tell Blaine was still out of it and on pain killers, but he exhaled the breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding and immediately pressed his lips hard to Blaine’s, letting his worries, fears and doubts melt away into the kiss.

The cloudy mind that seemed unable to understand anything Jamie had been telling him as he succumbed to the pain meds became much more alert as adrenaline kicked in and his heart started beating wildly. Suddenly his world was focused only on Kurt, those baby blues boring into his eyes, Kurt’s lips on his, and the way Kurt’s fingers squeezed his so desperately. If Blaine needed any more reasons to see how far he was gone for Kurt, the way his thoughts spiraled around that one thought as his mind and body awoke was more than enough.

Blaine squeezed Kurt’s fingers back and wrapped his good arm around Kurt’s neck to pull him in closer, kissing him back with fervor, not knowing whether his swirling mind was a result of drugs or Kurt, and not caring—just as he didn’t care about the pain coursing through his body at the sudden movement. He just needed Kurt closer, much closer. He was all he had been thinking about before the accident, and regardless of drugs, injuries, or pain—nothing could change that. “I’m sorry,” he whispered into the small distance between their lips when they came up for air, his hand grabbing the back of Kurt’s head, his thumb grazing over Kurt’s ear.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. You know I never want to, right?” Blaine licked his chapped lips when Kurt didn’t say anything in return, instead, just looking intently at Blaine’s face as if it was the first time he was seeing it, examining it furiously, his eyes lingering on the gash on Blaine’s forehead.

Blaine grinned despite himself when Kurt scrunched his eyebrows into a frown. “It’s fine,” he tried to assure Kurt. “I promise it isn’t as bad as it looks. I’m okay.” He brought Kurt’s hand to his lap first, then up to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on his knuckles. “Please say you’ll forgive me.”

Kurt studied Blaine’s battered face. Despite all the scrapes and the large gash on his forehead— Kurt would talk to the doctor about it needing stitches—Blaine still looked absolutely beautiful. Kurt hated the worry in Blaine’s eyes, hated the fact that Blaine probably had been worrying about Kurt’s last words to him as he’d ridden off on his bike, and he hated that now he lay in a hospital with god knows what injuries and pain. He hated that Blaine had worried at all because, in all honesty, if Kurt knew Blaine wanted him, he would have turned back in a heartbeat.

Kurt leaned down and gently kissed Blaine’s forehead. “You’re an asshole…but you’re my asshole, remember?” Kurt smiled at the smile that formed across Blaine’s lips, rubbing the pad of his thumb over Blaine’s hand, which he was still holding. “Don’t worry about that now, okay? Just know that I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

Kurt was so caught up in finding Blaine, kissing Blaine, and finally feeling whole again, that he hadn’t noticed Jamie sitting in the chair in the corner of the room. He was only made aware of this fact when Jamie cleared his throat rather loudly, looking at Blaine and Kurt with his arms crossed, an unreadable but slightly softened look on his face. Kurt didn’t know what to say, how to explain himself; he squeezed Blaine’s hand a little more tightly, but straightened and faced his brother.

Blaine’s fuzziness faded a little more when Kurt pulled back from his space. He didn’t like it; he didn’t like it one bit when the only physical contact he had with Kurt was through their interlocked fingers. He was about to open his mouth to protest when he noticed what had caught Kurt’s attention. Jamie was looking at them with a calculating expression on his face and as if he was trying to decide if he should say something…or what to say. Blaine bit his lip and gave Jamie an innocent smile, rubbing his thumb over Kurt’s soothingly.

“If you’re going to ask me if I need anything again, I guess I can use some water,” he provided when Jamie’s look turned from expectant to impatient. If the blank expression that flashed across Jamie’s face was anything to by, Blaine’s need for water wasn’t what he was impatient to hear about. Blaine knew he was missing something—something big that made Kurt flinch from his touch, not very noticeably, but Blaine felt it. Oh well. He had more painkillers than blood coursing through his veins; so it would have to do for now.

Kurt looked back at Jamie, who still wasn’t saying anything, which was almost worse than him yelling at him, and then back to Blaine who was looking up at him, his eyes still a bit hazy. Kurt suspected the drugs were making Blaine lower his inhibitions, but Kurt didn’t have that excuse; so he smiled sweetly at Blaine and kissed his forehead before pulling his hand back. He cracked a small smile when Blaine whined at the loss of him.

“I…I’ll go get the water,” Kurt stammered. He placed one more quick kiss on Blaine’s cheek when he started to protest. “I’ll be back. I promise.” Kurt left the room without looking at Jamie, but feeling his eyes on him as he walked past and out the door.

Blaine let out a sigh of irritation as he watched Jamie close the door behind Kurt. He forgot about his broken arm and attempted to cross them over his chest, but even the small jerk of his shoulder made him wince in pain. His head snapped up at the sound of Jamie’s chuckle, and he scowled at the pleased expression on his best friend’s face. “Don’t be an asshole,” Blaine growled under his breath, a stubborn frown on his face.

Jamie laughed even harder at that and raised an eyebrow. “Oh, but I’m not. Apparently that’s you.”

Blaine couldn’t help the stupid grin that came to his lips at the reminder of Kurt’s words, and for a moment Jamie let him savor it. But it wasn’t long till his eyes hardened again, his lips pressed together, and suddenly Blaine remembered why he wasn’t supposed to kiss Kurt like his life depended on it when Jamie was around. Instead of feeling panicked or nervous, though, Blaine was tired and sleepy; more than, though, was the fact that it was suffocating to try to hide something huge from your best friend when he knew you like the back of his hand.

“I didn’t plan to fall in love with your little brother, okay?” he blurted out, all filters and reservations gone. Although being drugged had something to do with it, he was mostly himself as he spoke. “It just happened. Happy?”

Jamie sighed a heavy sigh. If he was going to be honest with himself, he wasn’t entirely surprised Blaine was thinking it was love—he’d noticed how they had looked at each other—but he didn’t expect Blaine to blurt it out like that. Jamie knew it was the drugs that were making Blaine have no filter, but he couldn’t ignore the sureness in Blaine’s voice. Still, that didn’t make up for the fact that Blaine hadn’t once told him or even hinted at this before now, and it definitely didn’t change that he was talking about Jamie’s own flesh and blood.

But there was no use in talking this out with Blaine now. Jamie could already see his eyes drooping, and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been scared to death when he got the call from the hospital. When the doctor had told him they thought it was ‘just’ a broken arm along with some severe cuts, scrapes, and bruises, he’d felt some relief—until he saw how small and wounded his best friend looked when he’d first seen him. So he just pushed Blaine back down in his bed gently, careful to avoid the bruised ribs as he did so, and rolling his eyes. “Whatever you say, lover boy. Just get some sleep.”

Jamie noticed Blaine’s smile fade like he was internalizing something, which was what probably got him in that hospital bed in the first place; so Jamie put a hand on Blaine’s leg and looked at him sincerely. “I’m really glad you’re okay,” he said quietly; “I don’t know what I would do without you.” With that, Jamie watched Blaine drift back to sleep.

xxx

As it turned out, Kurt’s relief was short-lived when they learned Blaine had to go into surgery the next day. Blaine’s arm wasn’t just a simple fracture; it was more complicated than that. The humerus bone up by his shoulder needed pins to stabilize it, and he also had a fractured radius from trying to break his fall. Kurt tried to pay attention to the doctor as he was explaining the surgery, but worry was clouding his brain and all he could do was hold Blaine’s hand until they transferred him onto a gurney and wheeled him out of his room. He reluctantly released Blaine only when the orderly told him he couldn’t go any farther because it was a restricted area. Blaine was already pretty much out of it due to the pre-surgery meds they’d given him, but both of them had a hard time letting go of each other. Kurt squeezed gently and tried to smile reassuringly; his smile faltered and faded completely as the gurney rounded a corner and disappeared from sight.

Ever since then Kurt had been a mess, pacing the waiting room, almost constantly asking the same lady at the nurse’s station from the day before for any news. Noah tried to take his mind off the surgery by taking him to the cafeteria, but once Kurt saw there was a line, he insisted that it would take too long; so he left Noah to stand in line while he returned to the waiting area. The fifteen minutes it took for Noah to come back with a cup of fruit for Kurt didn’t make any difference; Blaine was still in surgery, and there was no news on how it was going. Kurt accepted the fruit cup with a grateful smile but couldn’t eat more than a bite because his stomach was tied up in knots. After Kurt paced the room a while longer, Jamie finally grabbed him by the back of the shirt and pulled him down to the seat next to him, muttering, “You’re driving me crazy.”

A shot of anger rushing through him, Kurt turned to glare at Jamie, but he quickly calmed down when he saw the worried look in his eyes; Kurt sighed and nodded and rested his head on his brother’s shoulder. It was oddly calming, considering all the things left unsaid between them, but all that had been put on back burner because when it came down to it, they were both just worried about a person they cared a great deal about.

It was probably only about 45 minutes since he settled next to Jamie, but it felt like hours when the doctor came out to brief them on the surgery. Kurt and Jamie rose from their chairs at the same time and with identical worried expressions on their faces, crowding the doctor’s space before he’d even fully entered the room. The surgeon started to explain in medical terms how the surgery went and what they did to fix Blaine’s arm, but Kurt couldn’t focus on any of it, and after a few moments, he interrupted, “Just…just tell me he’s okay…please.”

The doctor looked at Kurt with an annoyed expression, but Kurt didn’t give a shit if he was being rude; he just needed to know. “The surgery was a success and he’s resting in recovery now.” Kurt grabbed onto Jamie’s shoulder to support him as he took a deep, relieved breath as the doctor continued, “They’ll notify you when he’s back in his room; you’ll be able to see him then.” After Kurt persisted in knowing how long, he added, “We’ll need to keep him for another day or two before he can be discharged, but for now it’ll probably be another half hour or so before he comes out of recovery. Kurt nodded, but he had mostly stopped listening after the doctor said Blaine was okay, and after the testy surgeon left, he took a seat next to Noah as Jamie filled all their friends in. Kurt let out a relieved sigh, feeling like he could breath a little easier, although he knew he wouldn’t really be able to until he was able to see Blaine.

xxx

Blaine grinned behind the grey cashmere scarf that Kurt made him put on— _it’s actually chilly outside today, Blaine, we don’t want you to catch a cold on top of everything now do we?_ —as he noticed Kurt looking daggers at the wheelchair the Evil Nurse brought for Blaine to use while getting discharged from the hospital.

“His legs are perfectly fine, thank you very much,” Kurt chirped shortly, otherwise not acknowledging the nurse’s presence as he took the duffel he had packed that morning from the bed.

Blaine knew he’d have to follow the hospital’s rules and let them wheel him out in a wheelchair if he wanted to be discharged, but it was still fun to watch Kurt sass the shit out of the poor nurse, even if it was a losing battle. Besides, it was just actually fucking nice to see how well he had gotten to know Blaine without either of them even realizing it.

Blaine rolled his eyes when he caught Jamie snickering at him as he chuckled while watching Kurt with the Evil Nurse. Jamie had been this way all week, rolling his eyes or making some comment whenever Blaine laughed at something Kurt said that was also actually very funny. And, if he wasn’t making snide comments, he was shaking his head like a disappointed parent, like when he caught Blaine watching Kurt sleep in that very uncomfortable armchair, snuggled into Blaine’s ASU hoodie, his lips parted just slightly, his hair naturally tousled.

That image was something Blaine wanted to see all the time, maybe even framed in a picture on his bedside table for him to look at every night before he went to sleep; so he didn’t mind the teasing. It was worth it, the way Kurt’s lips stretched into a lazy smile as soon as his eyes landed on Blaine’s figure on the bed. Jamie didn’t understand. Or he did. Blaine hadn’t talked to him, or to Kurt, about anything that mattered since his first night at the hospital.

Kurt had been so good though; no, he had been fucking _perfect_ to Blaine since he stepped inside the tiny hospital room and launched himself into Blaine’s space. Blaine didn’t know what he had done in his past life to deserve someone like Kurt by his side, but he was willing to spend his life singing praises to whatever deity that made that possible.

For instance, he hadn’t had to eat the probably healthy, but totally tasteless hospital food at all because Kurt made sure he always had better alternatives, be it the lasagna Quinn brought over or some In-N-Out cheeseburgers he managed to sneak in without getting caught by the Evil Nurse. Kurt had been calling Nurse Frances the Evil Nurse ever since she rolled her eyes but otherwise ignored Kurt’s request to change Blaine’s room; he wanted him to have a larger one with a nice view because he knew how claustrophobic Blaine could get from spending too much in tiny, cramped places.

There was also the fact that, apart from the couple of hours when Kurt went home to take a shower and change clothes, he literally hadn’t left Blaine’s side once, making up excuses not to go back home to sleep. He seriously convinced everyone when he said he actually didn’t mind the chair because he was used to it from the times he pulled all-nighters in high school. But Blaine noticed many times how he held his back in pain or scrunched his face when he moved his neck too suddenly. It was all for Blaine, and Blaine was more than willing to admit he was head-over-heels in love with this incredible young man. Well, at least to himself.

The ride from the hospital to home was quiet; they were all tired from spending too many days in a hospital room without the comforts they were used to. Blaine’s head dropped to Kurt’s shoulder at some point, and he didn’t do anything to pull it back until Jamie was pulling into their driveway. Kurt never complained; so it was easy to ignore the way Jamie was watching them in the rearview mirror.

Blaine hadn’t even touched the front the door before it swung open with a chorus of “Welcome home, Blaine!” as his friends’ smiling faces greeted him. There was no way Jamie would have thought of something like this; Blaine knew he’d been looking forward to the comfortable silence of their place as much as Blaine was.

“You little shit,” Blaine mumbled under his breath, but the smile was genuine when he was carefully pulled in to a one-arm hug by Quinn. Maybe Kurt knew what he needed better than he did; the kid was really something else.

Kurt blushed slightly as Blaine whispered to him; he really didn’t want or need the credit; he just wanted Blaine to smile. He didn’t even really know where they stood as a _them_ , but it didn’t matter; at the moment it just came down to the simplicity of just wanting to make Blaine smile, and Kurt was sure he wanted that for as long as he could have it.

Kurt kind of loved that Blaine returned to his side after he received hugs from everyone at the party, it made him feel more important than he felt he really was. But today wasn’t about Kurt or Kurt and Blaine; it was a party to celebrate that, once he was healed from a broken arm and some nasty cuts and bruises, Blaine would be just fine; so Kurt squeezed Blaine’s arm and whispered in his ear, “I’m just glad you’re home.”

After making sure Blaine was comfortable and wouldn’t overtire himself, Kurt left his side to go talk with Noah and his new girlfriend, letting Blaine have his space. They caught each other’s eyes multiple times during the night, and every time they had to will themselves to look away. But that was enough for now.

xxx

Kurt propped his feet on the small plastic table they had on their patio as he leaned back in his chair, enjoying the slight nip in the air. As he took a drink of his coffee, his eyes followed the sound of their back door opening as Jamie came out, drinking his coffee as well. Kurt gave him a small but sincere smile as he nodded toward the empty chair next to him. Ever since Blaine got into his accident every conversation focused on everything but the one thing they were both thinking, which made for a slightly awkward week. Jamie kicked Kurt’s feet off the table, replacing them with his and took a sip of his coffee, a smirk on his face.

Kurt sighed; he missed this—he missed his brother so much, and if they didn’t address the elephant in the room, Kurt was afraid he would only push Jamie further away. He set his coffee down on the part of the table not taken by Jamie’s feet and waited for Jamie to look at him. “Okay...let’s talk. I think I owe you some explanations, and I can’t take this anymore.”

Jamie leaned back in his chair and raked his eyes over Kurt for good measure before his lips stretched into a contented smile. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t still mad and, more than that, hurt that his own brother had tried to hide things from him. It was easier to understand Kurt keeping things from him when it was something like Kurt telling Jamie their dad was okay during a phone conversation when he asked about him because he didn’t want Jamie to know how much their dad had been drinking again. That Jamie could understand, but this—Kurt and Blaine having a relationship behind his back—wasn’t something he could wrap his mind around.

“Okay,” Jamie replied, smiling when Kurt shifted his eyes to meet his. “I’m listening.”

Kurt bit his lip nervously and nodded, racking his brain to figure out how to explain something he fully didn’t understand in the first place. “First, you should know that I...we _both_ tried to fight it. It was like this weird pull towards him, and it only got stronger the longer I knew him…and it just...happened.”

Kurt took a sip of his coffee hoping it would relieve his suddenly dry mouth under Jamie’s unwavering stare, but it didn’t; so Kurt just cleared his throat and tried to continue. “We decided not to tell anyone, um…including you, about it after we kissed because we didn’t know if it was more than just a strong attraction, y’know, like mostly just physical. We wanted time to figure out what it was, and Jamie...I feel like it’s everything.”

“How long?” Jamie demanded, trying to keep an open expression on his face so Kurt would feel like he really could talk to him instead of feeling like Jamie was giving him the third degree. “How long have you been ...uh, together?”

He wasn’t going to ask the how or why of it. Jamie knew how stubborn both his brother and best friend were; so he believed Kurt when he said they tried to fight it. But he still didn’t get why the fuck they needed to hide it from him. It sucked to hear Kurt say anyone and know he meant Jamie, too.

It was odd how time could be viewed so differently by certain people. A month to Kurt seemed way too short, but Kurt was sure that, in this case, a month to Jamie was way too long. It was at least twenty Skype or phone calls and countless text messages, and Kurt felt awful as he noticed the disappointment in Jamie’s eyes even before he answered, “A month. I’m so sorry, Jamie.”

Jamie quirked his eyebrows and averted his eyes, shrugging. “It’s fine.”

A moment of silence passed; before Jamie tilted his head to the side and looked seriously at Kurt, who was chewing his lip and looking back at him as if Jamie held all the answers to his questions. Jamie knew he didn’t.

“It’s not even surprising really,” Jamie continued. “I should’ve known it was a mistake to leave you two together after seeing the way you were bickering like an old married couple minutes after you met. You’d either end up killing each other or falling for each other…and, well…I’m glad you didn’t go with the first one.”

Jamie took a long sip of his now lukewarm coffee, his face softening at the bashful smile that formed across Kurt’s face at his words. “And you’ve figured it out now? Because I don’t know how to act around you guys. Hell, it seems like _you_ don’t know how to act around each other.”

Kurt’s smile faltered at Jamie’s question. He didn’t. He didn’t have anything figured out. He had been so caught up in making sure that Blaine was all right that he didn’t let himself think about anything else, but the truth was he had no idea what would happen. He knew Blaine cared about him; that much was obvious—from the desperate kiss at the hospital to the way Blaine always looked at him as if he didn’t believe he was actually real—but what Kurt didn’t know was if that was enough. Because just five days ago it wasn’t. Kurt sighed and shook his head.

“Not exactly...We haven’t talked about it since...” Kurt felt a lump in his throat; he still felt sort of responsible for the accident, and every time it got brought up he couldn’t help but think what it would have been like if the outcome had been worse. “…since the accident. We never talked about what we were because we didn’t know if it would last and now...Well, now things are kind of a mess.”

There were still a lot of things Jamie wanted to ask Kurt, but from the way his face fell and his eyes glazed over, as if he was trying to hold something back, as if whatever he was thinking and trying to mask was giving him pain, this was enough for Jamie for now. He knew something Kurt didn’t that would make all his worries go away, but it wasn’t his place to share it. He wasn’t even sure if Blaine himself ever would.

“Ah,” Jamie said, not reacting to what Kurt had said and not wanting to push him much further. Jamie just raised one eyebrow, propped his ankle up on his knee, and reached out to put his hand on Kurt’s. “Give it time. Not everything has to be this or that right now. You both need some time.”

Kurt lifted his eyes to meet Jamie’s. For the first time since his brother had arrived, Kurt didn’t feel immense guilt; he felt like there was one less thing weighing him down. Kurt rested his head on Jamie’s shoulder and looked out towards their yard. “I missed you, big bro.”

Jamie leaned his head down and placed a kiss at the top of Kurt’s hair, his lips stretching into an involuntary smile as he draped his arm around Kurt’s chair. “Missed you, too, little brother.”

xxx

Blaine was lying down on the couch, trying to get comfortable as he tried to take his mind off of…well, off of everything, by watching TV. His cast was heavy, and his arm was already itching where he couldn’t reach. He couldn’t move without feeling the soreness and stiffness that just didn’t seem to want to give him a break. Trying to feel at least a little normal, he had his feet on top of the big throw pillows, knowing that if Kurt saw him, he’d nag him about it, cast or no cast.

Jamie came into the living room and strode over to the couch, staring at Blaine for a moment. Then, careful to avoid any of his injuries, he lifted Blaine’s legs, sat down, and propped them back up on his lap. Blaine looked away from the TV and turned his puppy eyes on Jamie but he just gave him an unimpressed look and grabbed the remote control to pause the show Blaine had been watching.

Blaine had started to watch Master Chef Junior only because of Kurt at first, but he got into it pretty fast once he gave it a chance. “Hey I was watching that,” he complained, trying to sit up slightly.

Jamie placed one arm over the couch and looked at Blaine seriously as if to give him the clear message that it was time to finally talk.

Jamie raised one eyebrow slightly, knowing Blaine would interpret his expression correctly because they just knew each other that well. Jamie dropped the remote on the table and spoke matter-of-factly. “And now you’re not.”

Blaine blinked, and then nodded slowly. “Okay.”

Neither of them said anything for a while, Blaine waiting for Jamie to just out with it, and Jamie looking back at Blaine with the same expectant look on his face. They could probably play it like this for hours, but Kurt was would return soon from grocery shopping, and it was obvious that Jamie chose this moment to have a heart to heart with Blaine—without Kurt being present.

“So it’s finally time, huh? You’re going to give me the “hurt my brother, and I’ll rip your throat open speech,” Blaine said, chancing a glance in Jamie’s direction, only to find him staring back at him with an amused smirk on his face.

Jamie nodded slowly, almost exaggeratedly, continuing to stare fixedly at Blaine. “I only give that speech to people who are actually in a relationship with my brother. Are you telling me you guys are together?”

There was a pause. Silence. Blaine opened his mouth, held it open without saying anything for a couple of seconds, and then, very slowly shook his head. “But I want to be,” Blaine added, his voice low but sure.

Jamie gave him a long, careful look. His blue eyes didn’t even blink as they stared at Blaine’s face; it was kind of overwhelming because it was the first time Blaine was on the receiving end of that kind of intense, calculating stare.

Hesitantly, Blaine added, “I mean…If that’s okay with you? I’m not even sure if Kurt still wants to. But uh…You know how I feel so...”

Jamie let Blaine sweat a little bit and just continued to stare at him. He felt like it was his right as Kurt’s big brother and also because he had been left in the dark so long. After a while though, noticing the undisguised worry in Blaine’s eyes, he softened his expression. Blaine always internalized everything and worried too much, and obviously this was no different.

Jamie turned his whole body towards Blaine and gently squeezed his good shoulder. “You know you never needed my permission. You’re both adults. It just would have been nice to be filled in about it when it first started. We could have talked about it, and maybe then you wouldn’t have been an idiot and nearly gotten yourself killed.”

Jamie sighed when Blaine looked down with a contrite look. “Look, Blaine, I know you say you love him, and I can see the way both of you look at each other, but have you really thought about it? His age? Living together? And what happens if you break up? You think it’s fucked up now; what would happen then?”

Blaine flicked his eyes up and just barely met Jamie’s eyes for just a moment before glaring back down at his injured arm. He knew he’d fucked up, but he never felt how major it was until Jamie asked him all these questions. Blaine realized he had never really thought about any of it before. Not for real.

It was selfish and reckless, but he’d kind of dived blindly into this thing with Kurt. They both knew there would be complications about Jamie hearing about them, and Blaine was stressing about Kurt’s age when he wasn’t busy fucking his brains out. But he’d never once thought what it would be like for Jamie if they were actually in a relationship, like how he would have to balance things between them when he and Kurt happened to have a fight.

And if Blaine made the mistake of his life and let Kurt go, in what position would that put Jamie? Blaine would have never asked him to, but it was inevitable Jamie would have to pick a side. It had been easy for Jamie to choose sides when it was just his best friend, but about when it was his best friend against his little brother?

And to top it off, Blaine didn’t even want to think about what a break-up would do to their living arrangements. Aside from being like the most gorgeous person Blaine had ever seen, Kurt was also a very good roommate. He put up with Blaine’s bullshit without making much fuss, and he was caring and oddly responsible. Blaine loved coming home to find Kurt cooking in the kitchen or dancing like crazy in front of the TV. He would have to give up all that if he fucked up even more and had to let Kurt out of his life.

Maybe it was pointless to think about breaking up when they weren’t even together in the first place, but Blaine was done acting like an irresponsible teenager, thinking about nothing and no one except himself. Yes, he was in love with Kurt. Yes, Kurt made him feel things he’d never felt before, and yes, Blaine felt like he couldn’t breathe at the mere idea of losing him, but it was time he put others before himself.

Blaine cleared his throat, rubbed at his eyes, and then ran his hand through his hair before finally meeting Jamie’s expectant gaze. “It would suck balls, that’s what would happen,” he replied sullenly, shrugging when Jamie rolled his eyes. “I don’t really deserve him anyway, you know? He just got here. Only a freshman in college, and here I am getting in the way of all the uh... opportunities he could have if it wasn’t for me.”

It fucking hurt to even think about the possibility of Kurt with another person. It hurt so much Blaine had to squeeze his eyes shut to block the painful thoughts torturing him.

Jamie had never seen Blaine like this before, not even with Jesse, and he thought when they broke up he was either going to have to put Blaine on a 24-hour suicide watch or bail him out of jail. Blaine was never halfway into anything; so Jamie guessed he should have suspected it, but this seemed different. You could almost see the fight between his head and his heart in his eyes. Jamie didn’t like to see his best friend like this, and normally he would tell him to stop fucking thinking and just do. But this was his brother they were talking about, his only real family that counted at this point.

If Jamie really let himself think about Blaine and Kurt as a couple, which still seemed bizarre in his brain, he could see the both the good and the bad. He never thought anyone was good enough for Blaine or Kurt, but he couldn’t object here. He knew just what great people they both were; so it sucked to hear Blaine say he didn’t deserve someone like Kurt. But this was so much more complicated for everyone involved, and he just wanted Blaine to be sure. “First of all don’t say you don’t deserve him; you deserve to be happy, and he obviously does that for you.”

Jamie could see a flinch of a smile on Blaine’s face, and he couldn’t help but smile at his friend before schooling his features into a more serious expression. “To me it sounds like you and Kurt have a lot to think about, and judging by how the last month went, you can’t really do that together. How did Kurt put it…some kind of weird pull that he couldn’t resist? What if I show him around San Diego for a week when I go back, and you guys can have some time apart to decide what you really want?”

Blaine whipped his head up to look Jamie in the eyes at that; his hands got clammy and his heart rate picked up as he felt a surge of panic coursing through his body. “You’re... Are you taking him away?”

Jamie couldn’t help but laugh a little at the big worried puppy dog eyes Blaine was looking at him with; it was kind of adorable in a strange way. “Damn you do have it bad... Just a week, Blaine, and you and I both know Kurt would have to agree to go, but I think it would be good for both of you. Besides, it would be nice to be able to spend some time with him.”

Blaine shrugged helplessly, his ears going a reluctant pink as Jamie laughed low in his throat. He could see why it was a good idea and how it would do them both good, but, still, the idea of not seeing Kurt for a week made his heart drop to his stomach. “Yeah,” Blaine agreed softly and cleared his throat so he could hide the slight waver in his voice. “Yeah, that’s uh...that’s good. Let’s do that.”

Jamie pressed play on the remote, finally noticing what was on. This was definitely Kurt’s doing; Blaine would have scoffed at watching pretty much any reality TV when they’d lived together. Jamie threw the remote control back at Blaine, smirking, “Master Chef Jr? Really. Hey, look on the bright side; maybe you can use the week to binge watch Project Runway.” Jamie laughed and braced for the inevitable punch coming his way.

xxx

Kurt slowly walked up the stairs to his room, Jamie’s question weighing heavy on him. Normally he would jump at the chance to spend a week with his brother, but now that also meant spending a week a part from Blaine. Kurt had no idea what was going on between them, but spending a week apart sure didn’t seem like it was going to make it any clearer. Kurt had made it a point to give Blaine his space since he had been back from the hospital while still trying to take care of him. On the rare occasions that they were alone, they mostly sat in silences where it felt like they both had too much to say; so they said nothing instead. They hadn’t kissed since _the_ night at the hospital except for a few kisses on the forehead or cheek.

As Kurt reached the top of the stairs he automatically went to Blaine’s door instead of his own. He couldn’t make this decision on his own; he needed Blaine to ask him to stay. Kurt knocked on the door, which must not have been closed all the way because it just opened on its own accord. Blaine sat in his bed, head leaned back looking at the ceiling with his headphones on.

Normally Kurt would have let himself in and just take his headphones, off kissing away the annoyed expression on Blaine’s face, but now he stood there a little awkwardly, waiting for Blaine to look his way. Once Blaine noticed Kurt a sweet smile came on his face, and he lowered the headphones, letting them hang around his neck.

Kurt returned the smile and stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. “Hey you.”

Blaine let his lips curl into a bigger smile at the playful tone in Kurt’s voice and sat up straighter in the bed, patting the space across from him. It wasn’t often Kurt came to his room anymore and the times he had, it was mostly to bring Blaine his meds or some coffee. But now he had nothing in his hands, and Blaine just missed this, having Kurt in his room just because. “Hey you,” he replied, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he gazed over at Kurt’s face with an open smile.

Kurt sat down eagerly, leaving a small space between them although it was hard not to just squeeze right next to him and feel the warmth of his body that he had desperately missed. Kurt just looked at Blaine for a few seconds—god was he beautiful—it almost made Kurt forget what he had come in for. “So... Jamie just asked me to drive back with him to San Diego and stay with him for a week, and I... well I told him I needed to think about it. And then I came straight here.”

Blaine huffed out a breath and looked away from Kurt’s face, which was almost too much to look at because of how open and hopeful he looked. That was the thing that sucked the most. No matter what happened, Kurt would always try. For him. Them. Always taking the first steps, always putting his foot down when Blaine tried to feed him with yet again another line of bullshit, always letting Blaine know how he felt, how much he wanted. And, there Blaine was, time after time, opening his big mouth and letting Kurt down.

“It could be good for you,” he said instead of all the things he actually wanted to say. “You haven’t gotten to spend much time with him because of me, and I’m sure he’s dying to show you off to his friends so...”

Kurt dropped his head to his chest, feeling defeated and, if he was honest with himself, he probably should have expected the response he got from Blaine. Maybe Kurt really was naive, not about how they felt about each other—because whether or not Blaine would admit it, and even if they would never be together, Kurt knew those feelings were real—but about life in general. Maybe this was just how it is, no matter how badly you want something; sometimes the obstacles are just too big to overcome. It fucking sucked.

But Kurt wasn’t going to yell or beg or cry; he had already done plenty of that. This time he was going to try to handle it like an adult, whatever that meant. Kurt put his hands in his lap and continued to look down because, if he looked at Blaine in that moment, all that being an adult crap would go right out the window. “Y…yeah...I guess you’re right. I do miss him. And I guess it would be nice for you to actually be able to control the TV for once. But you know you’ll miss my coffee.”

Blaine let out a self-deprecating laugh and shook his head to himself before scooting, somewhat awkwardly because of the damned cast, closer to Kurt until his folded knee was between Kurt’s. He took Kurt’s hand in his, squeezing his fingers gently before raising it to his lips, and placing an open mouthed kiss inside Kurt’s palm. “It’s not the only thing I’ll be missing,” he admitted, so very quietly, and maybe it wasn’t fair, but Blaine couldn’t just let Kurt think he was going to be just fine without him around. Because he wouldn’t. Kurt wasn’t even gone yet, and Blaine already knew he was going to be fucking miserable without him.

Kurt let out a sigh of relief, just hearing Blaine acknowledge, if indirectly, that he was going to miss him felt really good. Maybe that was all it ever was going to be—them just missing each other even when they were living in the same house. Kurt felt overwhelmed and had a sinking feeling that this may be one of the last times they would ever be this close. He just couldn’t take it, and he leaned in, pressing his lips to Blaine’s. This was one of the things that he would miss the most, feeling like he was complete, feeling the intenseness of feelings they might never say to each other.

Blaine freed his hand and buried it in Kurt’s hair, pulling him closer. His lips were dry and chapped, but they softened against Kurt’s. It was like everything else in his life with Kurt. Wherever Kurt touched, he made it all better. “It’s going to be okay,” Blaine promised. His voice was quiet and rough, close to Kurt’s ear, and Blaine realized he wanted to believe his own words just as much as he wanted to make Kurt believe.

Kurt rested his head against Blaine’s, nodding just slightly. Kurt wasn’t sure it was true, but he wanted to make Blaine believe he thought it was. Kurt knew Blaine was happy with him, but he also saw how torn up he was inside because he was with Kurt; so maybe it would be better for Blaine to be apart from him, as bad as it felt.

Kurt whispered against Blaine’s lips, “I’m going to miss you more than you know.” He pulled back, forcing a smile on his face and squeezed Blaine’s leg before standing up. It was really the last thing he wanted to do. Leaving Blaine seemed wrong, whether it was going into the next room or to a different state. It wasn’t just the fact that Blaine was still recovering from a major trauma and could barely shower on his own; it was the feeling deep down in his gut that felt that being without Blaine was just _wrong_. But he didn’t want to argue anymore, and he wasn’t going to beg because it seemed like this was what Blaine wanted, or at least what he was forcing himself to want. So Kurt just leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Blaine’s forehead. “Well, I guess I should go pack then.”

Blaine licked his lips, savoring the taste of Kurt’s lips as discreetly as he could, and nodded his head. “Yeah, okay,” he agreed, with just the slightest hint of apology in his voice and a sad smile aimed Kurt’s way. “I…I uh...I’ll be here when you get back.”

Kurt turned around at the door and half smiled as he looked back at Blaine.

“I hope so.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We tried to make up for our slow chapter posting and get this chapter out to you guys as quick as we could. Thanks to our awesome Beta for making that happen. So enjoy! On a sad note we are thinking that we have one more chapter left after this one for this story even though we will be super sad to end it. This has been such a fun one to write!

_“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep._

_-Pablo Neruda_

 

_Day 0_

Kurt left with Jamie early in the morning to make the drive back to San Diego. Part of him hoped that Blaine would stay asleep so they wouldn’t have to deal with a painful goodbye, and the other half of him hoped Blaine would hug him and refuse to let him leave; neither came true. Blaine had made to-go coffees for both Jamie and Kurt and was waiting in the kitchen before they even came downstairs. It looked as if he hadn’t slept at all, and Kurt could relate because he hadn’t either. They all stood in the kitchen not really knowing how to bring up the fact that they had to get going, Kurt unwilling to say it and Blaine unwilling to admit it.

Finally, after conversations about nothing, Jamie decided to rip the band-aid off, so to speak, telling Kurt they really did have to go. Kurt stood there awkwardly at first, not knowing if he should hug Blaine, kiss him, or just leave without saying anything; all those options seemed equally painful. As it turned out, Kurt didn’t have to decide because Blaine wrapped him into a tight hug quickly and without words.

Kurt grasped the back of Blaine’s shirt, holding it in his fist as Blaine buried his face in Kurt’s neck, a place that once—no, is and always will be—Blaine’s place. He felt Blaine’s heart beat against his own chest and heard his breathing hitch a couple times, but Blaine didn’t let go; his hug just got tighter and more desperate.

The hug lasted even longer than a _long_ hug, and Jamie must have sensed that they physically couldn’t stop on their own; so after a while he cleared his throat and told Kurt once again they really had to go. For a moment Kurt thought by the way Blaine stilled in his arms that he was going to object, tell him to stay, but he didn’t; he just slowly released Kurt from his embrace, plastered a fake smile on his face and waved to them as they walked out the door, got in Jamie’s Jeep, and drove away.

This was what Kurt was thinking about during their drive to San Diego. Jamie had to pull him back to the present several times during the six-hour drive, asking the first few times if he wanted to talk about it, but by the third time Jamie knew better and just asked Kurt to get him a drink from the cooler or told him to stop hogging all the beef jerky. For the most part the road trip was fun; Kurt missed just being dumb and crazy with his brother. They sang at the top of their lungs, trying to outdo each other; they made up stories about the people they passed in other cars and made it a point to stop at the shadiest diner for lunch. They even had some good talks, and Kurt learned a lot about Jamie’s new girlfriend, but-not-really-girlfriend, but they stayed far away from the topic of Blaine.

The first thing they did once they got to San Diego was walk the couple blocks from Jamie’s apartment to the beach and watch the sun set over the water. Kurt wished his thoughts could stay just with this moment, with his brother’s arm around his shoulder, looking out into the perfect sky with the ocean breeze in his face, but all he could think about was Blaine—about the time he woke him up at an ungodly hour to watch the sunrise, and how Blaine wrapped his arms around him like he would never let him go. He thought about what Blaine was doing right at that moment, if he was watching the sunset, if he was thinking about Kurt. And as dusk fell over the beach, Kurt took out his phone acting like he wanted to take a picture but really just checking for a missed text or call from Blaine; there was nothing. Kurt slid the phone back into his pocket and wondered if there would ever be a time where he would stop missing Blaine so bad it hurt.

xxx

_Day 1_

Blaine came back to the table Sebastian snatched at the back of the coffee shop, carrying a tray of two steaming cups of coffee—which he insisted he go get because he’d was getting tired of everyone acting like he was disabled just because he couldn’t use one arm—a caramel latte for Sebastian and a regular black for himself, and took a seat across him. Sebastian made room for their cups on the table, piling his books on top of Blaine’s MacBook.

“Thanks, man,” Sebastian said, grabbing his coffee immediately; Blaine only hummed in response as a he took his phone out of his pocket, checking if he missed any texts or calls before setting it face down on the table, unaware of the wistful sigh that escaped his lips.

“Expecting a call?” Sebastian asked, never one to beat around the bush. Blaine shook his head and grabbed a bunch of papers from underneath Sebastian’s books, trying to skim over his notes.

“So they got there safe?” It was funny how Sebastian didn’t even need to specify who got where safe. Blaine nodded his head this time, distracted as he thought about Jamie’s text and how disappointed he was because it hadn’t been from Kurt. 

“Kurt called you?” Sebastian insisted, and really Blaine knew they could go on like this forever, Sebastian demanding answers and Blaine giving them without using words. 

“No—Jamie,” Blaine replied as neutrally as possible. 

Sebastian studied Blaine’s face for a few moments and then said, “You’re different with him.”

Because of course he couldn’t let it go. Blaine made a big show of rolling his eyes before looking up from his papers. “What do you mean?” he asked, tapping his fingers on his coffee cup.

“I don’t know, but when you’re around him, your voice is different, the way you hold yourself is different, even your smile is different.”

“My smile is different?” Blaine asked incredulously.

“Yeah…it’s much bigger, like you’re smiling with your whole face. You just look…I don’t know, happy I guess? Like Kurt just makes everything better for you.”

Blaine didn’t know what to say to that, and he just stared over Sebastian’s shoulder at the boring grey wall of the coffee shop, letting Sebastian’s words sink in. He was surprised that Sebastian had noticed something like this in him, but he definitely wasn’t wrong. Blaine had always been kind of happy; he had awesome friends, had a nice job, and he was studying something he really enjoyed. But when he was with Kurt, he just felt complete—like he was at home in his own body.

“He does,” Blaine replied, plain and simple, not even trying to avert his eyes from Sebastian’s.

xxx

It was Kurt’s second day in San Diego, and either Jamie was trying to keep Kurt’s mind off of a particular someone, or there was just so much to do there that every day was going to be jam-packed. Kurt thought it probably was the former, but he appreciated what his brother was trying to do, and he actually was having fun. They spent the morning having breakfast right on the coastline, then spent the afternoon at the San Diego Zoo, and even did a little shopping before going home to change to meet Jamie’s friends at a pub near campus.

Kurt was pretty sure the shopping was more for Jamie’s benefit as he was trying to find the perfect shirt to impress the girl he wouldn’t shut up about. It turned out this girl was named Kenzie; she was the first person to get to the pub, and it was clear after about five minutes that they were both crazy about each other. She was a tall redhead with beautiful green eyes, and she called Jamie out on his crap whenever he got a little too cocky with his other friends; so Kurt immediately liked her. The only downside of seeing them together was it just reminded him of Blaine and what they could have been if things weren’t so messy.

After a while Jamie’s friends cleared out from the bar, and it was just Jamie, Kurt and Kenzie. Kurt didn’t mind because Kenzie treated Kurt like they were old friends, and he liked seeing his brother so happy. Jamie got up to go grab them another round of drinks, and Kurt watched Kenzie watch Jamie with a secret smile on her face. Kurt leaned across the table and spoke quietly with a knowing smile of his own.

“He’s crazy about you. You know that, right?”

Kenzie blushed and shook her head. “I dunno...Your brother is hard to read, but I hope so. I’m kind of crazy about him, too.”

Kurt smiled bigger and nodded reassuringly, putting his hand on Kenzie’s. “Believe me, I know my brother, and I’ve never seen him look at someone like he does at you.”

Kenzie blushed again but smiled earnestly at Kurt. “So...Anyone back home look at you like that?”

Kurt froze at Kenzie’s words and pulled back his hand. He had gone part of the night without thinking of Blaine, but now it was all back, and it felt like a punch in the gut. Kurt must not have talked for some time because Kenzie nervously spoke again.

“Shit! That’s what Jamie meant by the reason you were visiting was complicated. I didn’t mean to bring any bad memories up.”

Kurt eyes shot up from where he was staring at his empty beer bottle when she mentioned bad memories. It wasn’t the few bad memories that hurt; it was all the good ones that made him feel as if he couldn’t breathe, knowing they were just that—memories.

“It’s okay...No bad memories; just bad timing and shitty circumstances.” 

Kenzie gave Kurt a sad smile, looking like she wanted to ask more but not knowing if she should. Kurt forced a smile and tried to sound less melancholy when he spoke, not wanting to bring down the mood of the night.

“But he did look at me like that, and even if it only lasted a day before things fell apart, I wouldn’t change it for anything.”

xxx

_Day 3_

Blaine was standing in the fruits and vegetables aisle, trying to decide between two very nice looking pineapples when he realized what he was really doing. Blaine didn’t like pineapples. They were his least favorite fruit, and he probably wouldn’t remember their existence if it wasn’t for the fact that the Hummel brothers had a very unhealthy obsession with them. But the truth was his place was devoid of either of said brothers. Yet here he was, willingly trying to pick a nice, sweet pineapple just because he didn’t want Kurt to disappointedly roll his eyes at him like a little child pouting at his parents for forgetting the candies while grocery shopping.

His shoulders slouched in defeat as he put the pineapple he was holding in his hand back down; he wasn’t going home to Kurt anyway. And when he thought about it, he wondered if he might never ‘go home to Kurt’ again. He might be just going to the place he shared with Kurt. Or not even share, just cohabitate. He wouldn’t be rolling his eyes at Kurt dancing in his Batman boxers and shaking his hips to whatever came up on Pandora, but joining him anyway because why not? He wouldn’t be sneaking in on Kurt and wrapping his arms around his slender waist from behind and burying his chin in the crook of Kurt’s neck. There would be no more falling asleep on the couch together with Kurt’s soft voice narrating some commentary in his ear. No more breakfasts in bed. No more _Kurt_ in his bed.

A desperate and panicked sound escaped Blaine’s lips at the thought of things he might never have, hurting him to the core. He left his cart abandoned in the middle of the grocery store and got the hell out of there. Away from the pineapples.

It was barely afternoon when he made it to The Vine, but hell, it was five o’clock _somewhere_.

xxx

_Day 4_

Kurt sat cross-legged in the rocking chair on the patio of Jamie’s apartment with his iPad on his lap, just trying to enjoy the crisp sea breeze on his face and the melody of the classical music being played from the apartment below. It was moments like these that he wished he could enjoy them for what they were, just enjoy the simplicity of it all. That was the goal of this trip after all, wasn’t it? To take Kurt’s mind off of Blaine, to show himself that he would be fine without him. Kurt sighed heavily dropping his head and running his fingers through his unkempt hair; none of that was working because as much fun as he was having, nothing had been able to get him to stop thinking about Blaine.

Kurt didn’t know how long he’d been sitting with his head in his hands, but it was long enough to get startled by Jamie when he came outside to tell him dinner was almost ready. Kurt popped his head up and went back to his iPad, trying to mask any sense of sadness before Jamie could catch on. He was tired of the worried and concerned looks Jamie would flash him whenever he caught him thinking about Blaine. But judging by the look on Jamie’s face as he stepped onto the patio, Kurt wasn’t fooling anyone.

“What’s up, Squirt?”

Kurt rolled his eyes at his brother before going back to the iPad. “You can’t call me Squirt anymore; I’m taller than you.”

Jamie shrugged and leaned against the railing of the balcony. “I can call you whatever I want; I’m you’re big brother. But seriously, what’re you up to out here?”

Kurt glanced up and then back town to the iPad screen and sighed. “I’m…uh…looking for new apartments for when I go back to school.”

Jamie grabbed the iPad from Kurt’s lap, not believing him at first, but there he was—researching the exact apartments he and Blaine had lived in their sophomore year. “Why would you move? You have a pretty sweet deal there with Blaine...” Jamie stopped mid-sentence when Kurt just looked at him with those sad eyes Jamie hated so much.

Kurt continued, feeling like he owed Jamie some kind of explanation, but mostly to avoid more questions from his brother because this was really the last thing he wanted to think about, let alone talk about. “Jamie, I can’t stay there. I can’t. How could I see him every day but not have him…It would destroy me.” Kurt took his iPad back from Jamie in one quick motion and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. ”It...It’ll be for the best; you said we needed this space, and it’s been good; so more can only help, right? Besides, this apartment looks pretty sweet.” Kurt tried to force a smile even though he didn’t believe one word that just came out of his mouth, but he hoped at least Jamie would.

Jamie shook his head because he knew Kurt too well; he wasn’t fooling anyone, and Jamie was kind of insulted that Kurt even thought he could. “I think you’re being a little hasty, Kurt; you have a lot of unfinished things to talk about with Blaine. Giving you space was just so you both could gain some perspective, wasn’t it? Besides, those are shit-hole apartments; Blaine and I lived there during our sophomore year.”

Kurt slammed his iPad down on the table in front of him and let out a frustrated breath. “I can’t escape him! If I move or don’t move, it won’t matter! I feel like he’ll always be there, just out of my reach.”

Jamie put his hand on Kurt’s knee to try to calm him down. “I don’t think the point of this space was for you two to escape each other; from what I saw you both needed some time to figure out what you really want. But you don’t know what will happen when you go home; so why worry about it so much now?

Kurt let out a self-deprecating laugh. “It’s been four days, and I haven’t gotten so much as a text. I think I know what’ll happen when I get home.”

Jamie sighed because that was true. He’d half expected Blaine to barricade the door to keep them from leaving, but besides a hug that lasted way too long in Jamie’s opinion, he had let Kurt go without protest. “Fine. If it actually turns out the way you think it will when you get back, I’ll pull some strings and get you a place in the West Sixth apartments; they have an infinity pool and a movie theater. And neither of us has ever lived there before.”

Kurt gave his brother an appreciative smile. ”That sounds like a good escape...Thanks, Jamie.”

xxx

_Day 5_

Blaine was looking for the group photo from the last time the gang had been at The Vine to send Quinn—something about Mike’s upcoming birthday, but Blaine hadn’t pay much attention—when he came across it. It wasn’t even intentional. Blaine forgot he’d even taken that photo. It was taken the night they were high and sex-dumb—Kurt rolling in the sheets on Blaine’s bed while he played with his iPhone’s shitty camera, trying the different filters until he deemed the black and white one the best. Blaine didn’t remember what they were laughing about, but he did remember, with aching clarity, Kurt’s carefree, happy laughter, his beautiful, plump lips shiny and parted, eyes squeezed shut, as Blaine took picture after picture. He knew how at home he felt just hearing the sound Kurt made while laughing, how special it made him feel to be the receiving end of such recklessness. Blaine had been so sure he’d never fall in love again, and then Kurt came into his life and fell into his heart, and Blaine realized he’d never been in love before, not like this. Never like this.

It’d been five days since Kurt left with Jamie. Five fucking days that Blaine had been trying his best to fall into the same old, familiar ( _boring_ ), easy ( _dull_ ) routine he’d been happily accustomed to before Kurt came along. Five days of an absolute inability to get any work done, of not being able to do much beyond draining their liquor cabinet. He wasn’t expecting a miracle or anything, and he was doing almost fine until he saw the photo—Kurt’s infuriatingly beautiful face mocking him as if he knew Blaine had been trying in vain all along.

And that was the point anyway, wasn’t it? That was why Jamie took Kurt with him and left Blaine all alone in this place he called home. Strange how that turned out. Home didn’t mean much without Kurt around. And really, how many more signs did Blaine need before he’d see there was no escaping from the intensity of his feelings—and why was he even trying in the first place? He can’t even picture himself with anyone else, not even just for sex, and the thought of Kurt looking at someone else the same way he did at Blaine was making his stomach churn and his heart ache.

He’d been trying desperately not to think about Kurt, which meant Kurt was all he thought about. Kurt and all the things he should have said before he left. All of the things he should have said every night, every day, every moment he was lucky enough to be near him.

Kurt was right; Blaine was a coward, and he didn’t deserve this stubborn, gentle-souled boy who fought for him over and over only to be let down by Blaine every time. The hurt look on Kurt’s face right before he’d fled Blaine’s room had stabbed into his heart and lodged itself there, sending a panicky ache through his chest that his meds couldn’t touch. It didn’t matter how many times Kurt told him it was okay and he forgave him; Blaine couldn’t believe how spectacularly he’d fucked things up, how selfish and thoughtless he had been. But still, Blaine couldn’t help but want. He wanted so much, whatever Kurt was willing to give him, and he wasn’t above asking one last time. He was done being a coward, and he just hoped with his all being he wasn’t too late.

He didn’t even pack a bag; he just locked the door and took a cab to the airport, miraculously finding a seat on the first plane to San Diego. He must have done something nice in a past life after all. He just hoped it was nice enough to make Kurt believe Blaine was good enough for him.

The plane ride was exhilarating and terrifying. He had no real plan—he just that he knew he had to do something to get Kurt back. He was jittery with nerves, high on caffeine, and so anxious to just see Kurt and tell him what he’d kept bottled up inside for too long. The flight was only about an hour long, but it seemed to take forever. The cab ride from the airport seemed to take forever, too, but even the flight and the cab ride combined weren’t long enough to settle his nerves.

He was still running on adrenaline, still without a plan, and it was a bit of shock when the cab came to stop in front of a six-floor apartment building, the driver gazing at him expectantly in the rearview mirror. Blaine closed his eyes and took a couple deep breaths; _it’s going to be okay_ he repeated to himself. His poor excuse of a pep talk was interrupted by the cab driver clearing his throat rather loudly. Blaine offered an apologetic smile and handed him a wad of cash.

“Keep the change,” he said as he got out of the car. It was pleasantly warm outside, but even that felt too suffocating for Blaine. He felt like his clothes were too tight, his cast was too heavy, and there wasn’t enough air in the whole city for him to be able to breathe normally.

He opted to take the stairs, willing himself to just relax. He knew these people. He _loved_ these people, albeit very differently, but still... He was almost disappointed when it was Jamie who answered the door, but the grin that came across his face upon seeing Blaine made him forget all about it. Jamie made a hush sound and gestured Blaine to go inside. Blaine obliged quickly, walking farther into the house without waiting for Jamie; he wasn’t even surprised to find Kurt stretched out in front of the TV, a half empty wine glass on the coffee table. It was _Scandal_ night. Blaine knew Kurt wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Heart pounding, deafening to his ears and so loud he was sure Kurt could hear it, Blaine studied the look of surprise and confusion, and maybe hope, on Kurt’s expressive face while they stared at each other as if nothing else existed in the world. Blaine’s heart ached longingly; Kurt was really the single most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Hey, you,” Blaine managed after several long moments, the corners of his lips twitching up as he watched Kurt rise from the couch almost automatically.

Kurt slowly rose from the couch, staring at Blaine like he wasn’t real, like it was another one of his dreams, and the alarm would go off soon and Blaine would fade away. Kurt even closed his eyes and opened them slowly, but Blaine was still standing tentatively with a nervous smile on his face. Kurt had just started coming to terms with the fact that maybe Blaine would always be his “what-if”— _what if Kurt was older? what if Blaine was younger? what if Jamie wasn’t his brother? what if they had never met?_ These were questions that he had gone over and over in his head every day when he didn’t receive a call or text from Blaine, and now here he was giving him stupid hope just by looking at him with those big amber-colored eyes full of hope and longing and a million other emotions Kurt couldn’t quite read.

Kurt instinctively started to move closer, feeling that familiar pull towards Blaine, but he stopped suddenly, a defense mechanism he guessed. He couldn’t take it again if Blaine didn’t want him back. Kurt could feel his heart beating in his chest and he crossed his arms before dropping them back to his side and then re-crossing them again, his body having a hard time figuring out what to do when it so desperately wanted to just be wrapped around Blaine. Kurt trained his eyes on Blaine’s and only spoke when he was sure his voice wouldn’t come out a trembling mess.

“What are you doing here, Blaine?”

Blaine licked his lips and glanced Kurt up and over, locked eyes with him for a long, silent moment, and then dropped to stare at his mouth. He swallowed hard, throat going dry, skin heating up under the scrutinizing heat of Kurt’s gaze. He shrugged nervously, and everything that wasn’t Kurt’s eyes, which were their own oceans that Blaine felt like he’d been floating on since the first time they met, stopped existing. He took one small but sure step towards Kurt and spoke very clearly.

“Taking you home.”

Kurt eyes went wide at first when Blaine spoke, so sure, almost as if Kurt should have known. Kurt narrowed his eyes quickly though, trying to understand why now Blaine was so sure about having him home, as if he’d forgotten that just five days ago he’d let him leave, as if he’d forgotten that he hadn’t made any attempt to talk to him since then. Kurt wanted so badly to just grab his bag and leave with Blaine that instant, but this time he wasn’t going to let his heart make decisions first; he didn’t trust it anymore. Kurt shook his head as if he didn’t understand what Blaine meant and kept his arms crossed.

“What do you mean? The home you let me leave five days ago? I don’t understand, Blaine.”

Blaine saw Kurt balling his fists where they were buried under his arms, making his biceps look even bigger and more menacing. He knew it was kind of a defense move, and although it made him sad to think that Kurt needed to protect himself from whatever Blaine had to say, he also knew he’d given him every reason to feel that way.

Blaine swallowed hard but refused to look away. Maybe he was too late, but there was no going back now. He nodded at Kurt’s words and moved closer without really thinking about it, his body taking over like it did whenever they got close.

“Letting you go was one of the stupidest thing I’ve ever done,” he admitted, his voice soft but carrying a hint of apology and seriousness. “I thought we needed time. You and I… We’ve never really thought about anything, have we? Just submitted to that pull that brought us together.”

Blaine was nearly close enough to touch him again, but he didn’t. Even if it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

“I thought...I don’t know, maybe it would do us good to have some space from each other, but the truth is I’m miserable without you around. Everything just sucks because you’re not with me.” he paused to take a breather, Kurt watching him with a glint in his eye that made Blaine’s heart and stomach flutter, and fuck, it was hard to continue talking while Kurt was looking at him like that.

“I don’t know what it is about you…,” he continued. “You’re beautiful and smart and caring, and you’re so stubborn sometimes you drive me crazy, but I love that about you. I love everything about you. _I’m fucking in love with you_ , _okay?_ I love the way you look at me like you’re challenging and comforting me at the same time, the way your smile makes me feel warm and safe like I haven’t since like forever. I just don’t know what it is. But I want more of it. I want more of _you_.”

Kurt wasn’t sure what read on his face because inside he was going crazy. His brain was trying to process everything Blaine said to him. _Did he say he loved me? Did he really just say it or am I imagining it?_ His heart was beating so hard he was almost certain Blaine could hear it, and his body was itching to throw his arms around Blaine and kiss the shit out of him. So he wasn’t sure whether, by the time he pulled himself together, he was grinning like an idiot or staring at Blaine with his mouth half open like an even bigger idiot. But if the worry and anticipation written all over Blaine’s face was any indication, he couldn’t read him either. Kurt bit his lip and looked back into Blaine’s eyes and almost whispered as if it was still a secret.

“You love me…”

Kurt saw Blaine nod just slightly, and that did it. Kurt broke and smiled a full smile and took a step closer, reaching out to put his hands on Blaine’s arms. Even just a small touch like that sent electricity through his veins, and he wrapped his arms around Blaine’s neck, smiling even bigger as he spoke again, having to repeat it again just to make sure.

“You love me.”

Blaine nodded again, his smile getting bigger and a small blush spreading across his cheeks. Kurt was irrevocably in love with this man with everything he had, and it felt so fucking good to know the feeling was mutual. Suddenly everything that had happened in the past, all their struggles and missteps didn’t matter; with those three words he knew they would figure all that other stuff out in time. Kurt hung his head just for a quick second, averting his eyes from Blaine’s, trying to gain some composure, his smile too big, his heart too full. When Kurt looked up again, Blaine was still looking at him, but now for the first time Kurt saw no doubt, no reservations, no conflict— _only love_.

“I am so crazy in love with you!” Kurt surged forward and kissed Blaine hard just as he was taking a deep breath and, although the kiss was all smiles and teeth bumping into each other, it was absolutely perfect. Kurt pulled back suddenly, but only far enough so he could speak.

“And I…I want more, too—more of you, more of us. I always have. You know that, right?”

Blaine was drunk with the look of awe and fascination on Kurt’s face, with the way he’d repeated Blaine’s words as if he couldn’t believe them, as if _he_ was the lucky one because Blaine was in love with him—which couldn’t be farther from the truth because if they had to talk about luck, it was Blaine who hit the jackpot with Kurt.

An utterly happy smile came across Blaine’s face as he pressed in close again, forehead pressed against Kurt’s, his good arm gently wrapped around Kurt’s slender waist, his thumb pressing into the dimple he thoroughly enjoyed memorizing on the right side of Kurt’s back.

“Just tell me you’re mine,” Blaine managed to whisper, leaning in to softly bite and lick at Kurt’s bottom lip. “I want nothing more than to hear you say it.”

Kurt smiled softly at Blaine’s question, almost wanting to ask if he seriously didn’t know the answer to that question because Kurt thought the answer was pretty fucking obvious. Still Kurt moved back slightly, grabbing Blaine carefully by the shoulders, and looked into eyes, into his soul because Kurt needed Blaine to know this answer deep into his core.

“I am _so_ yours, Blaine. As long as you’ll have me, I’m yours.”

“Mine,” Blaine repeated, his voice low and a little dazed, lips stretched into a big smile. Their lips met again, and it was softer this time, slower, almost as if they were making up for the every opportunity they missed and savoring the feeling of _finally_. It made Blaine think about words like _belonging_ and _love_ and _home_.

xxx

Jamie knew he should have been out of the lovebirds’ hair the moment he saw them looking at each other with giant heart eyes on their faces. He knew he should’ve just closed the door and left without looking back because, come on, what he was witnessing seemed even more intimate than sex. But something about the way neither Kurt nor Blaine paid any attention to his presence, as if he didn’t exist at all, kept him there, watching the most ridiculously romantic love confession of all time. And, okay—yes, he could’ve done without seeing those two idiots suck faces like there was no tomorrow, but he’d kind of brought it on himself.

He grabbed his keys and turned around to head for the door only when he heard an unbelievably erotic sound escape the lips of his sweet, innocent little brother. Jamie knew _too much_ when he saw it—or, in this case, when he heard it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys this is it, the last chapter. :( :( We have enjoyed writing this AU immensely and a lot of that is credit to all your enthusiasm for the story. Thank you all for reading and for all of your sweet comments! Also thanks to our wonderful beta AncientGleek who helped us take this story to the next level. And as always to my partner in crime, I have so much fun writing with you and there is truly no one else I would want to create stories with!

_“I want you. I want your sleepy confused look when you wake up. I want to be the warmth that fills the space in your bed. I want to be the sheets your fingers crave at night; the blanket that wraps around you all night. I want to drink tea with you, share some records we find. I want to talk about everything in the world newspapers. I want to discuss with you, to be suborn and quick-witted with you. I want to have differences between us. I want your flaws. All of them. I want to go into the deepest corners of your mind and never get bored of you. I want to be surprised by the new all the time. I want to look at you like a movie, a living piece of art; always trying to chase what you crave – and capture you.”_

_-Elay Neal Moses_

 

Kurt vaguely heard the front door shut as Jamie left while he busy relearning the way Blaine’s lips and hands felt, and Blaine must have heard the same thing because suddenly Kurt was pressed much harder against Blaine’s body, the intensity of the kiss increasing by the second. Kurt’s fingers were buried deep into Blaine’s curls before he knew what he was doing, and he wasn’t even embarrassed by the moan that left his mouth. He had been thinking and dreaming about Blaine for the past six days—about the lips that he might never kiss again, about the body he might never have the pleasure of touching again, and about the eyes that might never look at him as if he was everything. And now he had all that back, and for the first time it was all his, no strings attached.

Kurt laughed a little when he was pushed up against the nearest wall, kind of admiring how strong Blaine was even with one broken arm. The cast didn’t stop Blaine at all; he still managed to render Kurt immobile, pressed hard against the wall; only this time it was Blaine’s entire body keeping him there instead of a strong arm and, if Kurt had to choose, he kind of liked this better. Their kisses were desperate and intense, and it was just what Kurt needed; as far as he was concerned they could kiss like this forever, and it would never be enough.

That was why he was surprised when, instead of going back in for another kiss after sucking on Kurt’s already swollen lip, Blaine pulled back and looked at Kurt with now smoldering hazel eyes, breathing heavily. Blaine looked at him in the way that made Kurt’s stomach do flips and his heart beat like crazy as his good arm slowly ran up Kurt’s side, leaving a trail of goosebumps on his skin as he leaned in to start kissing Kurt again, this time placing sensual kisses behind his ear and down his neck. Kurt straightened out his neck and grabbed on tightly to the fabric of Blaine’s shirt.

“God, Blaine… I missed you so fucking much!”

Blaine held him tighter and ducked down to kiss his neck, pressing his mouth to the hot thrum of Kurt’s pulse, his hand sliding underneath his shirt, fingers running over the fine length of Kurt’s smooth back. “Me, too. Fuck, you’re all I’ve been thinking about!” Blaine whispered, sinking his teeth into the tender flesh at the spot where Kurt’s shoulder and neck met, pressing his whole body into Kurt’s even harder at the marvelous sounds that escaped Kurt’s lips.

“Tell me what you want,” Blaine urged, rolling his hips into Kurt’s, head spinning deliciously at the friction. “I’ll you give you _anything_ , Kurt. Just tell me what you want, baby.”

Kurt pushed Blaine back, laughing at the way Blaine fought to go back to whatever heavenly thing he was doing with his tongue; he pushed back again, smirking at him. “I want you with much less clothing on so I can kiss every inch of your body; then after that I want to be buried so deep inside you that you will feel me for days,” he whispered huskily.

Blaine let out a low feral growl that went straight to Kurt’s cock as he kissed Kurt deep and hard making it difficult to finish talking. But Kurt knew if he didn’t finish what he needed to say, either they, Jamie, or most likely all of them would regret it; so he managed to pull his lips from Blaine’s one more time, speaking against the skin just below Blaine’s ear while nipping at his ear lobe.

“But not here, baby.”

Blaine’s brain had a hard time registering the words Kurt was whispering in his ear, his body taking over on instinct, his hands itching to touch more of what he had been craving for days. But then Kurt shoved his chest a little harder, making Blaine pull away from the body he had been holding onto for dear life.

“What?” he whined as he finally caught eyes with Kurt, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “I only heard you want to put your dick in me, and I’m so down for that.”

Kurt kissed Blaine quick but hard, grabbing the back of his head and pressing their lips together; Kurt only had so much will power, and it was quickly dissipating. He managed to pull back, leaving Blaine panting and looking at him with the most adorably confused expression on his face. Kurt opened the drawer of the side table by the couch, rummaging through until he came across the lube he’d discovered days ago while looking for the remote; knowing his brother, he had ‘emergency’ stashes all over the place. Smirking, he showed his find to Blaine before grabbing his good arm and pulling him towards the door.

“Yeah, I don’t want any interruptions or distractions while I do that; so c’mon—there’s a hotel a couple blocks away. I can’t fucking wait until you take me home, and I’m not fucking you in my brother’s apartment.”

Blaine let Kurt drag him out of the house without putting up a fight, silently agreeing with Kurt because yes, he wanted Kurt so much he thought he would die if he didn’t have Kurt’s bare skin against his sometime soon, but he also didn’t want to traumatize Jamie with what he might walk in on. Still it did nothing to deter Blaine from keeping his hands off Kurt; he just couldn’t help himself. He grabbed Kurt by the hips, dragging his hand down his ass, fingers squeezing the perky flesh through soft sweatpants that were hanging sinfully low on Kurt’s hips.

“And I can’t even fucking wait until you take me to the hotel room!” Blaine whispered furiously in Kurt’s ear as they finally made their way downstairs, Blaine’s long fingers jabbing roughly into Kurt’s abs as he tangled them in his shirt.

With the way they were groping each other and stealing kisses as they tried to walk, it was a miracle really that they even made it the couple of blocks to the small beach hotel. They were like a couple of teenagers, and Kurt absolutely loved it. There were several times on their ten minute walk that he’d seriously contemplated taking Blaine behind a building and just fucking his brains out, but he decided against it mostly just because he wanted to be the only one to see Blaine like that.

Once they reached the hotel, they basically stumbled in on top of each other, giggling like idiots as they approached the check-in desk. Kurt thanked god that they actually had a room available, ignoring the way the man at the desk rolled his eyes because he was too fucking happy to care what that guy thought. As soon the guy placed their key on the desk, Blaine snatched it up and was already dragging Kurt towards the elevator.

When they got to the elevator there also was a family waiting, making the ride up to their floor excruciating, especially the way Blaine was eye fucking him the whole way. When the doors opened to their floor they got out in a hurry, and before they’d taken even a couple of steps into the hallway, Kurt immediately had Blaine pressed up against the wall, his mouth sucking hard against Blaine’s beating pulse, all while gasping. “I have never…wanted… _anything_ …as bad as…I want you… _right now!_ ”

“You have me!” Blaine gasped in return as he got his hand around Kurt’s hips, underneath his shirt, hands hungry for the touch of his skin. He then spun them so Kurt was the one pinned, and his eyes fell to stare at his full, pink lips. “For as long as you want,” he added just before he attacked Kurt’s mouth with his, the kiss fevered and desperate.

Blaine didn’t know how and when they managed to make it inside their room with the way they were pretty much rutting against each other, lips wandering on every inch of exposed skin, hands restless, but he wasn’t going to question it. He finally had Kurt right where he wanted him; they were still pressed against each other, Kurt backed up against the door they had slammed without waiting for it to close automatically, their hard cocks slotted together through Blaine’s khakis and Kurt’s sweats.

“Do you feel what you do to me?” Blaine asked, breath ragged and voice low, grabbing Kurt’s hand and squeezing it between their pressed bodies, dragging it down his crotch. “It’s all for you, Kurt! Fuck! All yours.”

Kurt moaned as he felt Blaine thrust in his hand, speaking through more breathy moans as Blaine left his mark all along his exposed collarbone. “Oh god, baby, let me see it; I want to see what’s mine!” With that, Kurt heaved both of them away from the door and walked Blaine back towards the bed, fumbling with the buttons of Blaine’s jeans the whole way. Kurt internally cheered as he pushed Blaine’s pants to the floor and letting Blaine start to pull off his own shirt so Kurt could stand and admire the beautiful man before him. It soon became apparent that a one-armed strip show wasn’t easy when Blaine had difficulty because of his cast. Kurt carefully helped, noticing Blaine’s eyes shift towards the ground almost as if he was embarrassed about his arm or something. Kurt shook his head and gently pushed Blaine onto the bed, immediately straddling him.

“You are the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on,” Kurt said emphatically. He waited for Blaine to lock eyes with him before he moved to kiss across Blaine’s collarbone and down his chest, speaking against the delicious skin. “And you are all mine.”

Blaine probably would never be able to get over the awe and happiness in Kurt’s voice when he called Blaine his nor the wonder in his eyes as they shamelessly skimmed over Blaine’s chest. He always knew he was an okay looking guy, maybe even better than average, but no one, not even some of his very obsessed conquests had ever made him feel so wanted and desired, as if he was someone to be revered.

Blaine unbuttoned and roughly pushed Kurt’s shirt off as Kurt was grinding against him while cupping his hands around Blaine’s neck, thumbs sweeping over his ears. “Yours,” Blaine whispered back, smiling, kissing Kurt, mouth soft and tongue greedy, even better than Blaine remembered. He wished he could use both hands to grab Kurt by the hips, run his fingers up and down his back, and trace every inch of Kurt’s body, but Kurt made him forget all about that as he pushed him down on the bed and crawled between his legs, looking down at Blaine with a predatory glint in his eyes. Talk about the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid eyes on.

“God, just look at _you!_ ” Blaine muttered, voice a little breathless, back arching slightly when Kurt pulled his nipple between his lips and flicked his tongue across the tip. “Fuck, Kurt! Baby, you’re killing me here! Please…!”

Blaine was absolutely gorgeous the way he was looking up at Kurt, so eager and desperate for whatever Kurt would give him, and there was no way Kurt would deny him anything. Kurt ran his hands up Blaine’s torso, playing with each nipple and eliciting a delightful moan from Blaine. He moved his lips to Blaine’s, hovering just above them as he whispered, breathing into his delectable mouth.

“Tell me again.”

Blaine didn’t need to ask Kurt to elaborate. “I love you,” he breathed, pupil-blown eyes dazed and drunk with arousal, staring intensely into Kurt’s baby blues. “I love you so fucking much, Kurt.”

It was slow and agonizingly tender when Kurt finally pressed his lips to Blaine, kissing him soft and sweet; Blaine was overcome with a swell of affection for him, his heart racing so fast he was sure Kurt heard it.

“Baby, please!” Blaine whined when it became too much as Kurt’s tongue relentlessly fucked into his mouth, the friction of his body against Blaine’s so good but still not enough. “Want you!”

Kurt was already slipping off his sweats along with his boxers before Blaine even finished his sentence, climbing off him to grab the lube that he thankfully remembered before they left the apartment, but he suddenly remembered the thing he forgot. He moved back to the bed, his mouth watering at the sight of Blaine’s throbbing cock. “I forgot the condoms...Do you trust me? Can I still make you feel so good?” Kurt got his answer when Blaine used his good arm to pull him closer in. Kurt leaned in for a wet kiss before leaning back on his heels and lifting Blaine’s ass while settling a pillow beneath his hips and pulling him almost all the way into his lap. Blaine took full advantage of this, wrapping his legs around Kurt, his ass rubbing against Kurt’s already too sensitive cock.

With a breathless “Fuck!” Kurt lubed up his fingers and pressed one into Blaine’s entrance without any warning. Kurt loved the way Blaine’s eyes went wide, and he had him begging for more within seconds. Kurt added another, massaging in until he hit Blaine’s prostate; the moan that left Blaine’s mouth was music to Kurt’s ears. He couldn’t wait much longer; so he added one more finger to make sure Blaine was completely ready for him. Blaine closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip, getting used to the fullness. Kurt just leaned up, taking his bottom lip with his own teeth sucking on it soothingly as he moved his fingers deeper.

“I got you, baby. Just tell me when you’re ready.”

Blaine tossed his head back, muttering curses as Kurt pushed his fingers in and out in an agonizingly slow rhythm. He could only nod in response as he spread his legs and rocked his hips in invitation. He could already feel his cock starting to leak, aching, every inch of his body feeling alive and hot, skin too tight, mouth watering. “I want you _now_!” Blaine managed in a broken whisper. “Fuck, Kurt, I need you…I need you so bad!”

Blaine bit his lip to keep himself from whining when Kurt pulled his fingers out completely, leaving him empty and aching for more. He was so ready for Kurt, for whatever he wanted to give Blaine, but he needed it to be _now_. He made a pleased, throaty noise as Kurt finally eased into him slowly, thrusting in all the way before he bottomed out. He was buzzing with heat, desire, and too much and not enough, giving in completely to how perfect Kurt felt, how full and complete he made him feel. He was so overwhelmed with love and the need to touch Kurt, not just have him inside him, but to be with him, that he grabbed the back of Kurt’s head and pulled him down, rocking his hips up and meeting Kurt’s mouth in a messy, uneven kiss. “God, you feel so good...” he whispered against Kurt’s lips, “you’re fucking perfect for me, Kurt...”

There was no hope of Kurt trying to control his rhythm, no hope in taking it slow because Blaine was pounding his ass back against Kurt every time Kurt pulled back. That, mixed with the sounds Blaine was making and the pure sex in his voice when he managed to speak, made it impossible for Kurt to do anything but slam into Blaine deep and hard. Watching Blaine unravel beneath him with every thrust was mesmerizing, and Kurt couldn’t believe this beautiful man was his.

“Yours. Fuck, baby, I was made for you.” He knew the desperate ‘ _Kurt_ s’ pouring out of Blaine’s mouth like a mantra meant he was close, which was good because Kurt was just at the edge of what was promising to be the best orgasm of his life. Kurt started pumping Blaine’s leaking cock as he spoke against his swollen lips.

“Let go with me, babe! God I f-fucking love you!”

Blaine swallowed the words out of Kurt’s mouth and kissed him messily as Kurt set a hard, fast rhythm, with both his hand and thrusts, driving Blaine even closer to his release. It was too good. Blaine was so hard it actually hurt, but he never wanted to end it; so he threw his head back into the pillow and just watched Kurt slamming into him, eyes hooded, hair sticking in every direction, sweat trailing down his torso. He was the most beautiful thing Blaine had ever seen, almost unbearably pretty as he panted and cursed, a loud moan escaping his sinful lips.

Blaine felt like he also was being mind-fucked as Kurt released his cock and brought his fingers, smeared with Blaine’s precome, to his lips, sucking on them one by one while looking down at Blaine with such open desire, it wrenched the orgasm out of Blaine, his entire body aflame and pulsing with sizzling waves as he came between their sweaty torsos. 

“Fuck...Fuck! Fuck! Kurt...Come on!” Blaine panted out, eyes squeezed shut as the power of his orgasm hit him hard. “Come inside me, baby. Fucking do it!”

Not that Kurt needed Blaine’s encouragement, but the way Blaine was watching him as he still shook from his orgasm pulled the last remaining piece of will power from his body, and Kurt exploded hard inside Blaine, collapsing onto his chest. Kurt felt Blaine’s fingers immediately entangle in his hair, stroking him soothingly as he rode out his orgasm. As the intensity wore off, Kurt was able to open his eyes and prop his chin up on Blaine’s chest; he looked at Blaine, only to find him looking back with a blissful smile on his face. Kurt thought there would never be a time he would get used to the fact that this man loved him. “You are so beautiful,” he murmured.

Blaine closed his eyes and sighed, smiling the smile of a contented man who had everything he needed in his life, and mumbled sleepily, “That’s you.” He twisted his fingers in Kurt’s damp hair and pulled him even closer, his lips hovering over Kurt’s as spoke, “And you’re _mine_.”

Kurt eased himself out of Blaine, both of them wincing at the loss; he rested his head on Blaine’s chest, listening as his heartbeat ceased its wild beat, slowing and becoming more regular. Kurt lightly traced the outline of the faint bruise on Blaine’s side that was left over from the accident, thinking about everything that had happened between them. He spoke quietly and honestly, feeling the intimacy of the moment. “I thought...I thought you had given up on me…on us.”

Blaine half turned to his side and grabbed Kurt’s chin to pull him closer, nuzzling at his neck and nibbling on his earlobe. “I panicked,” Blaine admitted, voice soft and slightly apologetic. “I was sad because I was going to spend one week less with you, and then Jamie asked me to keep it as a secret, and I couldn’t even tell you why I was acting like a selfish, clingy asshole because I was desperate to spend as much time with you as possible.” Blaine shrugged and licked his lips; Kurt looked up at him with a soft smile on his face as if to say it was okay. As far as Blaine was concerned, though, it wasn’t, and he was going to do anything he could to make up for what he’d made Kurt go through. He forged ahead, finally trying to put into words everything he’d been feeling—some things he hadn’t even been aware of, himself.

“And then Jamie came, and I wasn’t even ready. Ready to let you go. Ready to give up on our little happy bubble. But he’s…Jamie, y’know? He trusts me more than anyone in the world, and here I was fucking his little brother behind his back. It was just...I felt horrible. I thought telling you we couldn’t do what we were doing anymore would make things okay again. I was wrong. I hurt you, and I’ll never forgive myself for it. I never wanted to, you know that, don’t you? I hated myself for it, but at the time it felt like the only option I had.” He paused for a while, nuzzling in and putting a sweet kiss on Kurt’s nose. “But I’ve never stopped feeling the way I do about you. Not even for a second. I love you, Kurt. And it’s something scary as hell in itself. But I’m done being scared. I just want you.”

Kurt smiled and ducked his head when Blaine confessed all his feelings; he still felt like he wasn’t quite worthy of them. But when Blaine picked up his chin and looked into his eyes without saying a word, Blaine made it clear that he was. “I get why you acted the way you did, and it’s part of the reason why I love you. You always just think about others’ happiness and not your own. and, well, we’re so entangled with each other, I was just the collateral damage.” Kurt shrugged; he could see the way Blaine flinched as if he was still blaming himself. That was the last thing Kurt wanted; so he pressed a long, gentle kiss to his lips. “I forgive you; just in the future remember that you’re thinking for two now, okay? We’ve been through hell these past couple weeks, and we’re still here right? Finally—us.” Kurt grinned at that. “That’s all I wanted.”

Blaine mirrored Kurt’s smile and pulled him in for a kiss, sucking Kurt’s bottom lip into his mouth lazily, heart so full and smile genuine. “Who would’ve known we would end up like this, considering the way you tried to boss me around the moment you saw me.”

Kurt rolled his eyes, “I was just trying to whip you into shape, old man.” Kurt winked when Blaine rolled his eyes in return. “Besides, I thought you loved it when I talked bossy to you.”

“Oh yes, yes I do,” Blaine replied, all teasing smiles and arched eyebrows. “What do you think? Am I in good shape yet, kid?”

Kurt hummed into the kiss he placed on Blaine’s lips. “Yeah, I think I’ll keep you.”

xxx

Blaine was fiddling with the hem of his shirt as Kurt accepted the to-go bag from the bakery near their hotel. It wasn’t a bribe or anything; they hadn’t had breakfast yet and, yes, chocolate croissants were Jamie’s favorite and Blaine asked for extra whip for Jamie’s macchiato, too, but he just wanted to start this off on the right foot, all right? Not that they weren’t good; as far as Blaine knew, he and Jamie had worked through their issues after the accident, having a heart-to-heart and being all sappy with each other. Still, Blaine felt like he owed Jamie a proper “Your brother is beautiful, and I want to be with him and, yes, my intentions are very serious” talk.

He didn’t expect Jamie to deny them his blessings or anything, but it was still kind of nerve-wracking now that all the cards were on the table. It was a good feeling though—natural—making Blaine feel he was doing something right for once.

He bit his lips, but quickly relaxed them into a smile as Kurt grabbed his hand, the warmth of his hand instantly relaxing him, keeping him grounded. “I still think serenading Jamie with Magic!’s _Rude_ is a good way to ask his blessing,” Blaine said as they left the bakery hand in hand. “All I need to change is daughter to brother and, boom, it’s the perfect song for us.”

Kurt pulled Blaine out the door and down the block to Jamie’s apartment, giving him a fond eye roll in the process. “How about we let him get used to fact of us dating first, and save it for the proposal…” Kurt bit his lip after the words came out of his mouth, not really thinking of what he was implying when he said it. But he just kept walking hand in hand with Blaine, hoping the idea of that future wouldn’t scare him off. He felt Blaine squeeze his hand a second later almost as if in reassurance, and Kurt fell in love with him for the hundredth time that day.

As they reached Jamie’s door, Kurt lifted their intertwined hands and kissed Blaine’s knuckles. “Ready, boyfriend?”

Blaine’s lips curled into an involuntary smile at the word boyfriend, and he pressed in close to peck Kurt on the lips, feeling Kurt’s lips stretch into a lazy smile in return. He nodded his head, sure and determined, and rhythmically knocked a couple times. He wasn’t as nervous as he had been that the morning, but there was still this buzz coursing through his body that made him feel equally stressed and excited.

Jamie didn’t answer the door for a while, and Blaine knew it was deliberate because they could hear the faint sounds of footsteps behind the door. When Jamie finally opened the door, his arms were crossed over his chest, an eyebrow arched perfectly, and an intimidating and interrogatory look on his face. Blaine didn’t falter for a second, though; he had an answer for anything and everything Jamie would want to ask him.

“Are you going to let us in or what?” Blaine quipped, punctuating the word “us” deliberately, squeezing Kurt’s fingers reassuringly when he heard a sharp intake of breath from him. Blaine knew his best friend as well as he knew himself, and he was willing to go through whatever Jamie had planned to earn his forgiveness.

Blaine pulled Kurt into the apartment as Jamie somewhat reluctantly stepped out of the doorway. For a while no one spoke; Jamie just stood there staring at Blaine. Blaine didn’t falter for one second; he returned the stare with a slight smile on his face.

Kurt made a mental note to tell Blaine how sexy he looked when he was so confident the next time they were alone. It was probably less than a minute of silence, but that was a minute too long for Kurt; so he cleared his throat, needing to fill the silence.

“Okay Jamie,” he began. “I know this is probably really weird for you, and maybe not what you wanted but I…we can’t deny our feelings anymore. But we also don’t want to hide anything from you ever again so...here we are...”

Jamie listened to what Kurt had to say with an unimpressed look on his face, his eyes dropping to where Blaine was holding Kurt’s hand in a tight grip. He returned his gaze to Blaine after a while and raised a hand to Kurt, not acknowledging what he said otherwise. “You stay out of this, little one.”

Blaine made an _oh_ sound at that, but held Jamie’s gaze just as intensely. He brought Kurt’s hand to his lips for a small kiss on his knuckles before releasing his grip.

“Why don’t you go heat our croissants, Kurt?” He didn’t look at Kurt while saying this, but he tried to make sure his voice was soft and apologetic. If Kurt was mad—and Blaine knew he was because one, Jamie called him “little one” in front of Blaine and two, Blaine was sending him away, and not very subtly. Kurt didn’t react much except to huff out a breath; then he disappeared into the kitchen.

Blaine walked backwards, keeping his eyes on Jamie, until his ass hit the back of the couch; he leaned against it, attempting to appear relaxed and casual. He shrugged when Jamie tilted his head expectantly; he gave him a small smile in return. “I don’t know what you think about this…us,” he began. “I don’t know if you’ve really forgiven me yet. And I don’t know if you want to punch me in the face or pat me on the shoulder; but know this—whatever you have to say will not change the fact that you’re my best fucking friend, or that I’m so very in love with your brother. I’m sorry I was an asshole about it. I promise I’ll do anything to make it up to Kurt for as long as he will have me, but I’m not going anywhere; I’m done running. So just tell me. What can a guy do to earn your blessing to date your brother? I’ll do anything, but you can’t tell me to stay away from him.”

Jamie walked towards Blaine as he listened to his overly rehearsed but nonetheless endearing speech. He quirked an eyebrow and decided his big brother charade was about over. He waited for Blaine to stop rambling before he put his hands on either side of Blaine, causing Blaine to lean back. “Let me get this out of the way first. If I ever have to see Kurt as miserable as he was this past week without you, I _will_ punch you in the face. You know how special he is; so don’t ruin this.”

Jamie could see the regret in Blaine’s eyes; so he was pretty confident he would never have to actually lay a hand on his best friend. Kurt walked out of the kitchen with three pastries and set them down on the table. He cast a worried look between Jamie and Blaine; so Jamie figured it was time to end his brother’s concerns once and for all. “Now that’s out of the way... I actually think this is kind of great in a very weird way. You two are the best people I know, and I see how happy you make each other. That’s all I want. You never needed my blessing; I just needed to know that what you two had was real. I know that now.”

Blaine didn’t even try to hide the huge grin that formed across his face as he grabbed Jamie’s hand to pull him in for a one arm hug, his smile growing bigger as Jamie whispered a _love you, bro_ in his ear. It wasn’t that Blaine had been expecting Jamie to give a seriously negative reaction, but it was really nice that he was really so positive about it, not to mention finally not having to pretend or hide or avoid. Everything was out at the open; Blaine had Kurt, and Jamie was happy for them. Blaine thought it couldn’t get any better than this, but after he released Jamie from the bro hug he had been missing, Kurt crowded into his space, kissing him long and sweet and proving him wrong. With Kurt, Blaine thought, every minute promised to be better than the previous one.

After some hugs and some very unneeded hair ruffling from Jamie, for the first time in a couple months Kurt didn’t feel one ounce of regret or guilt; he was just 100% happy. He heard Jamie groan after he placed one more kiss on Blaine’s lips just because of the sheer adorableness of the huge smile he had plastered on his lips. Kurt quirked an eyebrow at his brother as if to say _I thought we were over this_.

“Okay, dudes, I love you both, and I’m happy for you, but don’t make me leave my own house again because you can’t keep your hands off each other. And Kurt...you can keep my lube.” Jamie enjoyed the deep blush on Kurt’s face way too much; so he let it be awkward for a few more seconds before cracking up. “Oh my god! I am going to have so much fun with this!”

Kurt rolled his eyes at Jamie and lightly punched Blaine’s good arm for joining in on the laughing, but inside he was pretty ecstatic at how his life had turned out so far. If he really thought about it, Kurt Hummel has had a pretty great year.

xxx

Kurt finished replying to Noah’s numerous texts asking if they needed him to pick up beer or various other snacks, all with the same cryptic message asking what was going on with Blaine. Kurt just answered Noah’s superficial questions; he figured that, considering it was the first movie night with the gang since he’d been back, Noah would have his answer soon enough. When Blaine and Kurt had gotten back from San Diego, they took a couple weeks to reconnect, figure things out—and have lots and lots of sex. _I need you right this second_ sex, _I am madly in love with you_ sex, _just because_ sex—and it was all absolutely perfect.

Kurt watched as Blaine stood in front of the mirror and tried to fix his hair, scrunching up his nose when he couldn’t get a curl to go where he wanted. He didn’t realize Kurt was watching him, and Kurt liked it like that. It gave him a chance to really admire the beauty of Blaine, and, for the millionth time, stare in wonderment that Blaine was actually his. Eventually Blaine noticed Kurt; either that, or Kurt unknowingly mumbled what he was thinking of doing to Blaine later, right in front of that mirror. Blaine looked over at Kurt with a questioning smile. Kurt moved off the bed and walked right up to Blaine, fixing the last curl or two as he smiled, twisting the locks gently in his fingers as he whispered, “You are unfairly gorgeous, you know that, right?”

Blaine just smiled along with Kurt and pulled him closer, now with much more ease now that he could finally use his both arms. Kurt pressed up against him, and Blaine just looked at him for a while, awed, marveling at how lucky he was to have someone like Kurt to look at him as if he was everything. Blaine must have voiced his opinion at some point, though, because not even a minute passed before Kurt was arguing with him about who was luckier. Blaine gripped Kurt’s sides more tightly and cut him off with a kiss, meaning it to be slow and sweet, but because he was still in the _can’t keep my hands off of you_ phase with Kurt, he was desperate and horny. Besides, he’d already spent too long without kissing Kurt while he was in the shower. They kissed until they were both breathless, Blaine’s hand sliding down Kurt’s back to grab a handful of that firm, tight ass, his lips stretching into a smile at the moan his action elicited from Kurt. “Fuck, you need to stop me, or our guests may walk in on something they wouldn’t want to,” he panted out against Kurt’s lips, the feel of Kurt’s body pressed against his, all hard lines and long limbs, spinning his head deliciously.

Kurt kept his body pressed against Blaine’s for a few more stolen kisses, probably just long enough that, by the end of the night, they both would be counting down the moments until they could finish what they’d started here. Kurt laughed at the whine that left Blaine’s mouth; he grabbed his hand and dragged him downstairs. “C’mon old man, you can have your way with me later.”

They reached the foot of the stairs just in time to hear a loud knock as Sebastian, without waiting for an answer, walked right in, followed quickly by Quinn and Santana. After the greetings and hugs, Kurt realized everyone was staring at him and Blaine, almost as if they were trying fill in the blanks since they had last seen them together. Kurt smirked, enjoying the last remnants of their little secret. “What? Did Blaine mismatch the buttons on his shirt again?”

Blaine quirked an eyebrow and snorted at Kurt’s words, highly aware of the heavy stares they were being exposed to. “No, they’re probably staring at you because you’ve managed to grow a little beard this time. Who knew you were capable of doing that?” Blaine quipped, enjoying the murderous glare Kurt was sending his way. It wasn’t that Blaine had any problems with Kurt shaving regularly, especially when all that smooth skin rubbing against his thighs when Kurt was giving him head…and don’t get him started on that time Kurt ate him out…and okay...inappropriate train of thoughts. Bad Blaine! God, he just couldn’t help it really; his boyfriend was so fucking hot. “Well, kids are growing up fast these days, guys,” he said to the others, taking in the confused look on Quinn’s face and the way Santana was biting her lips into a smirk. Sebastian didn’t even give them a second glance before making his way into the kitchen. Bas was so over them. Spoiled brat.

It was only when everyone got their drinks, and they were settling into their seats that Noah, Mike, and Tina arrived. Mike was carrying a six pack of Budweiser, Noah a bottle of white wine, which had been Kurt’s special request. Mike and Tina greeted everyone with a hand wave while Noah’s eyes were zoomed in on Kurt and Blaine. Blaine bit his lip hard to keep himself from cracking up because they must have been more intimidating than they gave themselves credit for if even Noah couldn’t outright ask them what their deal was. Blaine and Noah locked eyes, but Kurt saved them from prolonging their staring contest by dragging Noah to the kitchen with the pretense of helping him with his drink.

“I’m picking the movie,” Sebastian informed them, with an arched eyebrow directed at Blaine’s way as if to dare him to say something, which was a good thing since Blaine had other plans than actually watching the movie.

“By all means,” he replied, a shit-eating grin on his face as Sebastian’s mouth dropped open at the lack of protest from Blaine.

Kurt watched everyone file out to living room, fighting over seats and arguing over Sebastian’s questionable decision to watch the Hulk with Ed Norton instead of Mark Ruffalo. Normally Kurt would have put up a fight; Mark was a much sexier, much better Hulk, after all, but with Blaine smiling a secret smile at him from his spot on the couch, Kurt couldn’t care less about the movie. Kurt smiled a warm smile back at Blaine and headed towards him, squeezing into the small space beside him, throwing his legs over Blaine’s lap and resting his head on his shoulder. Kurt only looked at Blaine, but he could hear the slight intake of breath from everyone else when Blaine placed an innocent kiss on his lips.

Blaine looked up from where he was lost in the green-blue of Kurt’s eyes when he realized the room was uncharacteristically silent. His eyes met the wide, shocked ones of Mike first, then the others one by one. Blaine arched an eyebrow and shrugged when none of them said anything, tangling his legs with Kurt’s.

He heard Santana huff out a breath before saying, “About damn time,” not sounding enthusiastic at all, as if she was already bored with them. “Can we watch the damn movie now?”

Kurt laughed and placed a loud kiss on Blaine’s cheek before nodding at Santana and kicking Sebastian with his foot to start the movie. Blaine’s arm snaked around his waist, and Kurt felt Blaine’s head settle in ‘his’ spot, right in the curve of his neck. He smiled a contented smile, looking around the room at all of his friends and then back to his wonderful, amazing, gorgeous boyfriend. He literally had everything he wanted. Kurt placed a sweet kiss on Blaine’s forehead. “I’m so happy right now.”

Blaine slid his hand underneath Kurt’s shirt, gliding his fingers across Kurt’s stomach, his heart warming at the feeling of being completely at ease with everything he was and everything he had. He stole a kiss from Kurt’s lips before speaking against them, his voice soft and warm, bursting with every fucking beautiful thing Kurt made him feel. “I’m glad. You make me the happiest I’ve ever been.” 


End file.
